请帮助修改作文，我是5月21日的

julliarUID: 2102623

等啊等，终于挨过着漫长的一小时！:@

花了15分钟研究了一下别人的分段,改进自己的结构模板,不知老师及益友们能否再提提意见.顺便说一下,我个人觉得bbs.gter.net的分类有些乱，本想在哪里发表意见的，但只能在注册一小时后才行，故顺便贴着里了。


Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve traffic and pollution. What extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think more effective?

Nowadays, more and more governments have to face the challenging social problems of congestion and contamination. As to how to handle them, different government has different method. In the meantime, there is a trend that the petrol’s price has risen worldwide. (好奇怪，为什么不对，rise是不及物动词，后边的是副词啊)As a result,  some people suggest that increasing the price of petrol should be taken the best use of to settle the problems. Personally, I doubt whether this argument could hold water.

One of the major causes is that the congestion and contamination have continually been more and more serious, although the petrol’s price has increased over years, from $8 to $50 per bucket. It indicates that it is not necessary relationship between the increase of the price of petrol and the results of the traffic and pollution. Moreover, the output of transportation, at the same time, climbs up, rather than decreases, with the rise of petrol’ price. Hence, only by increasing the price of petrol to salve traffic and pollution is not sagacious.

Another factor comes from the fact that there are still many other factors which can cause congestion and contamination. It is no use handling them merely by means of the increase of the price of petrol. Many factors, for instance: lack of heavy penalty to the drivers and cyclists and the factories that violate laws and no stricter enforcement which also makes the problems worse, can be responsible for the formation of the problems. There is no doubt that increasing the petrol’ price can contribute to reduce the problems, but can not have a better effect without cooperation with other methods.

Other methods, as well as the increase of price of petrol, will lead to a better effect. First of all, the popularity of the lead-free petrol contributes greatly to the environment. Second, the governments should give the priority to the public transport. Thirdly, the government should impose heavier penalty on the violators.

lucy_zq2002UID: 177408

楼主考雅思?
偶问的白痴了一点,不过似乎不存在分类乱的问题,雅思版还是挺好找的呀:$
顺便贴这里?楼主的说话所以让我有了 上面这个疑问.勿怪!

[ Last edited by lucy_zq2002 on 2005-5-18 at 12:40 ]

lucy_zq2002UID: 177408

楼主处女贴,也要考试了,我一定回的
第二段It indicates that it is not necessary relationship  -- it is 不如改成there be句型
总体结构不错.比较客观.
结尾我觉得收到快了点.还可以再写点其他.
我上课要迟到了,先说这么多/

julliarUID: 2102623

哈哈，其实是按你在3g的连接，我才知道这里的，雅思好找，但进来后，帖子有点乱。由于我一个小时不能发贴，我就贴别处了。
再提点意见就我的文章。哈哈

蜻蜓切UID: 201589

我说一点个人意见, 如果不对, 大家一起讨论, 我也跟着学习进步 :) :$

Nowadays, more and more governments have to face the challenging social problems of congestion and contamination. As to how to handle them, different government has different method建议用复数. In the meantime, there is a trend that the petrol’s price has risen worldwide. (好奇怪，为什么不对，rise是不及物动词，后边的是副词啊)As a result,  some people suggest that increasing the price of petrol should be taken the best use of to settle the problems. Personally, I doubt whether this argument could hold water.

One of the major causes is that the congestion and contamination have continually been more and more serious, although the petrol’s price has increased over years, from $8 to $50 per bucket. It indicates that it is not necessary relationship(感觉还不如用no necessity between ...) between the increase of the price of petrol (建议换个用法,比如increase of the price in petrol market, 感觉2个of和上面petrol's price的用法接近) and the results of the traffic and pollution. Moreover, the output of transportation, at the same time, climbs up, rather than decreases, with the rise of petrol’ price. Hence, only by increasing the price of petrol to salve traffic and pollution is not sagacious.

Another factor comes from the fact that there are still many other factors(个人觉得两个factor其中一个可以用同义词来代替) which can cause congestion and contamination. It is no use handling them merely by means of the increase of the price of petrol(感觉已经说了那么多以后,可以用近义词比如oil). Many factors, for instance: lack of heavy penalty to the drivers and cyclists and the factories that violate laws and no stricter enforcement which also makes the problems worse, can be responsible for the formation of the problems. There is no doubt that increasing the petrol’ price can contribute to reduce the problems, but can not have a better effect without cooperation (应该用动名词, 这个地方虽然用名词, 但是用一个动作比较准确) with other methods.

Other methods, as well as the increase of price of petrol, will lead to a better effect. First of all, the popularity of the lead-free petrol contributes greatly to the environment. Second, the governments should give the priority to the public transport. Thirdly, the government should impose heavier penalty on the violators.

[ Last edited by 蜻蜓切 on 2005-5-18 at 21:48 ]

lucy_zq2002UID: 177408

楼主福气了.谢谢蜻蜓的用心!
年轻真好,就是有激情!

julliarUID: 2102623

感激不尽.谢谢各位的用心和时间.

lucy_zq2002UID: 177408

都是我们的原创哦,谢谢蜻蜓:)