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165. you have decided to ggive several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live.what is one thing you will do to improve your community
currently, with the development of technology and economy, the life in our community is being changed to be better. however, in the mean while, the gap between the poor and the rich is also insurmountable. while the rich in our community always dine out during the weekends, those poor children are facing the problem of dropping out of school. therefore, if possible, i would like to tutor them voluntarily观点很好
first of all, everyone, be he rich or poor, is born equal. let us get down to the fundamentals and agree that the poor are after all, human beings---despite of theire impoverishment, they can not be deprived from the right of being educated. however, the situation is seriously. take one of my neighbors for example, because his parents are laid-off workers, who barely can meet their ends meet, let alone affording the increasing tuition fee, he has to confront the fact that he'll soon have to leave his beloved teacher and best friends in school. so his right of education is being eroded by the reality of poverty. what is worse, there are numerous children who have the same problem as my neighbor's. To secure their right, i think tutoring them may be quite helping, at least offering them an oppurtunity to learn.
secondly, because poverty is always pregnant with a high crime rate, if we don not help those children, it is not exaggerating that the crime rate of our community will skyrocket in due course and thus jepardize our daily life. imagine, if the children leave school, where their life , in some sense is constrained by the discipline of the school and they are supervised by their teachers, and enter the work world, young as they are, they are not self-desciplined enough to resist temptations such as drugs and once they get addicted to drugs, a series of other kinds of problems such as shoplifting,smuggling, will also be committed by them. to ensure the harmony of our community, i am responsible to help them out
finally, it is also a precious opportunity for me to improve my own skill of communication. not only can I learn communicating with children by tutoring, but i can also apply this skill to getting along with other people.
by and large, to protect the right of the poor and to secure the harmony of our community, to refine my own skill, i think tutoring the poor is a good choice for it benefits the poor as well as the whole community.
你是学文科么?还是考过AW?文章语言没的说!(注意句首字母大写)
有一点,可以少提或者不提rich people,你要说的和他们没有关系
还有body1和2论证过程中多说如果你来教孩子们他们就不会失去学习机会或者犯罪而不是缺乏教育他们会怎样,也就是说把你可以做的正面融入论证中(不知偶说的对不对啦~:p)
你的目标比较高,偶也就挑骨头啦~~ |
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