寄托天下
查看: 1029|回复: 2

[a习作temp] argument191 决战830拍砖组 20日作业 同主题高频狂练,请兄弟们狂拍 [复制链接]

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
918
注册时间
2005-8-12
精华
0
帖子
86
发表于 2005-8-20 17:44:11 |显示全部楼层
Argument191  第4篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间:41分51秒     373 words


The following is a letter from a professor at Xanadu College to the college's president.
'The development of an extensive computer-based long-distance learning program will enhance the reputation of Xanadu College. This program would allow more students to enroll in our courses, thereby increasing our income from student tuition. Traditional courses could easily be adapted for distance learners, as was shown by the adaptation of two traditional courses for our distance learning trial project last year. Also, by using computer programs and taped lectures, faculty will have fewer classroom obligations and more time to engage in extensive research, thereby enhancing the reputation of Xanadu.'

Syllabus:
1.        The arguer failed to mention whether there are enough students who will enroll this program of XC.
2.        the arguer neglected the comparability between the two traditional courses on trial project and other         courses
3.        there is no evidence provided that the faculty of XC will spend the saved time from the program in        their research and get good research results



        In the argument, the arguer concludes that Xanadu College (XC) should develop an extensive computer-based long-distance learning program in order to enhance the reputation of XC. A careful examination of this argument would reveals that there are at least the following fallacies.

        First of all, the arguer failed to mention whether there are enough students who will enroll this program of XC. We have to take into account at least two factors. On the one hand, whether students are interested in the computer-based long-distance learning program? If the answer is "No", it is not necessary to take into consideration others facts on this program. On the other hand, whether are there other universities and colleges that have the same or similar programs? Obviously, the fact will affect the amount of students enrolling this program of XC.

        Secondly, the argument is undermined by the fact that the arguer neglected the comparability between the two traditional courses on trial project and other courses. It is entirely possible that some courses, epitomized in the courses on art, are not suitable to the computer-based long-distance learning program. In my experience, one possible cannot make significant progress in playing piano unless there is someone giving him or her guidance when he or she is playing piano. If XC neglects the comparability between different courses, the effect of this program may be not good as anticipated and eventually this program will fail.

        Finally, there is no evidence provided that the faculty of XC will spend the saved time from the program in their research and get good research results. If the faculty pay little attention to their research, it is impossible that XC expect them making effort on research, not alone the good research results. However, it is well known that there are many factors affecting research in addition to time. It is more important for XC to analyze the causes of its failure to enhance the reputation of academy than to take some measures to give the faculty more time.

        In sum, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. We need to be provided with more information on the potential students, other universities and colleges, the comparability between different courses and the causes of failure to academy.
我是一片云
漂泊不定
我是一阵风
奔跑不止
美丽的女神在远方
我要去追寻

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
129
注册时间
2005-7-24
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2005-8-20 18:36:29 |显示全部楼层
我呆会来试着拍一下
Art is lies that tell the truth.
- - Piccaso

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
129
注册时间
2005-7-24
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2005-8-20 19:28:58 |显示全部楼层

一点拙见

In the argument, the arguer concludes that Xanadu College (XC) should develop an extensive computer-based long-distance learning program in order to enhance the reputation of XC. ( 概括不够全面,还说了 increase income from student tuition) A careful examination of this argument would reveals that there are at least the following fallacies. (后面加个 in it 结构会完整点把,纯属个人喜好,供参考)

        First of all, the arguer failed to mention whether there are enough students who will enroll ( 应该是 enroll in吧 ) this program of XC. We have to take into account at least two factors. On the ( the 是不是可以不要) one hand, whether students are interested in the computer-based long-distance learning program? If the answer is "No", it is not necessary to take into consideration others facts on this program. On the other hand, whether are there ( 要不就是 there are, 要不就把 whether 去掉 ) other universities and colleges that have ( 把 that have 换成 having 好点吧? 也是个人喜好,呵呵 ) the same or similar programs? Obviously, the fact will affect the amount of students enrolling this program of XC.  ( 可以再顺便提一下 cost 的问题。比如说 If it is so, the tuitions of the students taking our program might not support the extra costs to develop and maintaining it, not to mention that to increase our income from the additional student tuition, as the arguer claimed.)
        Secondly, the argument is undermined by the fact that the arguer neglected ( 加上 to demonstrate, 他没有忽略comparability, 而是忽略论证之。 ) the comparability between the two traditional courses on trial project and other courses. It is entirely possible that some courses, epitomized in the courses on art, are not suitable to the computer-based long-distance learning program. In my experience, one possible cannot ( 不通! one could hardly 好些 )make significant progress in playing piano unless there is someone giving him or her guidance when he or she is playing piano. If XC neglects the comparability ( 还是那个问题 ,要不然就把 comparability 换成 dissimilarity 之类) between different courses, the effect of this program may be not good as anticipated and eventually this program will fail.

        Finally, there is no evidence provided that the faculty of XC will spend the saved time from the program ( 要加个 to 吧 ) in their research and get good research results. If the faculty pay little attention to their research, it is impossible that XC (改成 to 好些吧 ) expect them making ( to make? 不确定 )effort on research, not alone the good research results ( 后半句解释一下,没看懂。 ). However, it is well known that there are many factors affecting research in addition to time. It is more important for XC to analyze the causes of its failure to enhance the reputation of academy than to take some measures to give the faculty more time.

        In sum, the argument is not persuasive as it stands.( 这句帅! ) We need to be provided with more information on the potential students, other universities and colleges, the comparability between different courses and the causes of failure to academy.

总的来说语言不错啊, 就是要注意语法错误,还有细节展开的不太够,感觉有些地方再说一句就透了,就是差一点。。。加油加油阿!

帮我拍一下我的argument140:
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=323433
Art is lies that tell the truth.
- - Piccaso

使用道具 举报

RE: argument191 决战830拍砖组 20日作业 同主题高频狂练,请兄弟们狂拍 [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
argument191 决战830拍砖组 20日作业 同主题高频狂练,请兄弟们狂拍
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-323398-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部