三组TWE特训之一topic 9+ 之二topic 120(在24楼)

lanccyUID: 2156906

谢谢mysteryfigure

lanccyUID: 2156906

再顶一下

zhenzhen_163UID: 196150

原帖由 lanccy 于 2006-5-2 19:38 发表
修改稿：
改了点语法错误，把结尾补全了，其他的未作改动。个人感觉不错。

The issue of whether to live in a small town or in a big city has always opened to debate. The advocators of living in a sm ...

Loathing domiciling in small towns as I am, however, I have to admit some of the merits of living there. The fresh air, the friendly neighbors and the closeness to nature, are all the blessings people enjoy. No wonder that waken up by the twittering of the cock and breathing the air with the aroma of flowers is one of the most enjoyable things in the world. Nonetheless, just think about the misery and tough journey, usually 3 or 4 hours long, to commute to city for work, you will regret the choice of living in small towns at once.

This paragraph is fraught with problems. I suggest you rewrite it. I sensed that you wanted to be fair and wanted to point out that living in small towns wasn’t all bad. You wanted to say overall there were more things that appeal to you in a big city so you still preferred living in a big city. But be careful with this kind of argument. You need to be very good with cohesive devices—words and phrases that guide the readers so they don’t get confused. By the way, who do you know that spends 3 or 4 hours commuting to work? (Your sentence indicates one-way.) This is exaggeration and a bad argument.

lanccyUID: 2156906

I changed the last sentence in that paragraph as follow:

Nonetheless, why people are prepared to tolerate all the inconvenience in transportation, communication, recreation and so forth discussed above for the dubious previlige in living in small towns is just beyond me.

What do you think this time, zhenzhen_163?

zhenzhen_163UID: 196150

原帖由 lanccy 于 2006-5-3 14:20 发表
I changed the last sentence in that paragraph as follow:

Nonetheless, why people are prepared to tolerate all the inconvenience in transportation, communication, recreation and so forth discusse ...

OK OK OK
You are one persistent lady. I'll let you pass.  :lol

orangechlUID: 2211016

Shopping, too, is another favor the city can offer.

改成Shopping,as well, is another favor the city can offer.更好点吧？总觉得用too好像不太对

lanccyUID: 2156906

Oh yes!
thanks zhenzhen_163

yogurt4UID: 198389

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;extra=&page=4

powerpycUID: 2180236

偶还是觉得交通问题，不知道ETS老头子们怎么想的，要是是在SAN FRANCISCO这种大城市的话，估计会对交通问题很苦恼的，毕竟，太堵了-_-''

用词，实在强悍，哎，又想到我自己老

PS：昨天发的帖子咋不在了捏-_-:

lanccyUID: 2156906

Topic120: Decisions can be made quickly or they can be made after careful thought. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The decisions that people make quickly are always wrong. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

限时成功！哈哈，庆祝一下！不过发现在这种极度紧张的情况下写出来的东西，很多错别字啊，还有就是词汇的选用太单一，先贴出第一稿，马上修改 （372 words）

More often than not, when coming to the issue of whether the decision should be made quickly or after careful thought, some people hold the belief that decisions made promptly are always wrong. However, is it really the truth? As far as I am concerned, how decisions should be made depends on the particular situation the decision maker is facing.

It is true that the decisions that people make quickly are sometimes wrong. In fact, people’s favor keeps changing as the time passes. And a quick decision do not guarantee enough time for people to fully inspect into the matter. In our daily life, it is not unusual to hear that a couple who got married immediately one or two months after their first appointment divorced soon after their marriage. Why? Because not only did the couple lose interest in each other, but also their quick decision for marriage did not allow them to get acquaintance with each other, which turned out to be wrong at the very beginning.

However, it is hardly true to say that decisions made promptly are always wrong. In the futures market where the prices of contracts fluctuate in every second, a decision involving meticulous thought is doomed to let go the chance of getting profit. In fact, the quicker speculators are usually the ones who win the business battle. Besides, the things which are less urgent or less critical do not require scrupulous thinking at all, such as what breakfast to eat or what clothes to wear.

In fact, how one makes a decision basically varies in the very situation he/she is facing. For instance, an urgent situation, like spotting a child get drowned in the river, does not allow any meditation because a miss of time may lead to the permanent regret of the child’s death. Whereas, when the decision is related to the benefit of the whole life of the decision maker, and there is plenty of time left, it is of no doubt that careful thinking should be employed.

To sum up, it is too arbitrary to say that decisions that people make quickly are always wrong. It is the situation that we are facing that really matters how immediately we should decide.

[ 本帖最后由 lanccy 于 2006-5-4 19:35 编辑 ]

lanccyUID: 2156906

修改稿
改了第一个例子的论述，和B3 topic sentence的表述，并把一些词语修改了一下
很郁闷的觉得跑题了，所以郑重的修改了论点



More often than not, when coming to the issue of whether the decision should be made quickly or after careful thought, some people hold the belief that decisions made promptly are always wrong. However, is it really the truth? As far as I am concerned, the outcome of a decision depends on the correct judgment made by the decision maker instead of the time involved in pondering.

It is true that the decisions that people make quickly are sometimes wrong. Actually, people’s favor keeps changing as the time passes. In addition, a quick decision does not guarantee enough time for people to fully inspect the matter. There seems to be a high divorce rate among couples that tied the knot soon after their first meeting. Why? The decision was wrong at the very beginning because their swift decision for marriage never allowed them to get acquainted with each other’s characters and habits, which gave rise to their ennui with each other in the end.

However, it is hardly true to say that decisions made promptly are always wrong. In the futures market where the prices of contracts fluctuate in every second, a decision involving meticulous thought is doomed to let go the chance of getting profit. In fact, the quicker speculators are usually the ones who win the business battle. Besides, the things which are less urgent or less critical do not require scrupulous thinking at all, such as what breakfast to eat or what clothes to wear.

As a matter of fact, whether a decision is right or not has nothing to do with the time employed to decide, but the judgment the decision maker makes is essential. If a person misjudges the situation at first, just like the couple thought they would be perfectly matched before they really lived together, or a poor speculator misestimated the trend of the price movement, then even if he/she mediates a hundred years before finally taking an action, the consequence is doomed to be a failure.

To sum up, it is too arbitrary to conclude that decisions that people make quickly are always wrong. It is the correct judgment that really matters how valid the result will be.

[ 本帖最后由 lanccy 于 2006-5-5 12:17 编辑 ]

susan8940UID: 160449

More often than not,（什么意思这句子？） when coming to the issue of whether the decision should be made quickly or after careful thought, some people hold the belief that decisions made promptly are always wrong. However, is it really the truth? As far as I am concerned, how decisions should be made（这里可以换种说法，侧重点不在HOW） depends on the particular situation the decision maker is facing.

It is true that the decisions that people make quickly are sometimes wrong. In fact, people’s favor keeps changing as the time passes. And a quick decision do not guarantee enough time for people to fully inspect into the matter. In our daily life, it is not unusual to hear that a couple who got married immediately one or two months after their first appointment divorced soon after their marriage. （个人感觉这句可以分两小句写哦：））Why? Because not only did the couple lose interest in each other, but also their quick decision for marriage did not allow them to get acquaintance with each other, which turned out to be wrong at the very beginning（好句子！）

However, it is hardly true to say that decisions made promptly are always wrong. In the futures market where the prices of contracts fluctuate in every second, a decision involving meticulous thought is doomed to let go the chance of getting profit. In fact, the quicker speculators are usually the ones who win the business battle. Besides, the things which are less urgent or less critical do not require scrupulous thinking at all, such as what breakfast to eat or what clothes to wear

In fact, how one makes a decision basically varies in the very situation he/she is facing. For instance, an urgent situation, like spotting a child get drowned in the river, does not allow any meditation because a miss of time may lead to the permanent regret of the child’s death. Whereas, when the decision is related to the benefit of the whole life of the decision maker, and there is plenty of time left, it is of no doubt that careful thinking should be employed

To sum up, it is too arbitrary to say that decisions that people make quickly are always wrong. It is the situation that we are facing that really matters how immediately we should decide.
词语多样性和句式变化都很好！
写的不错！如果能再强调下quick decision不总错就更好啦：）
上面一些词句还需猫猫教我下哦

lanccyUID: 2156906

哈哈，再庆祝一下，成中级会员了都！

lanccyUID: 2156906

susan改得好快啊，我的第二稿还没上来，你就改好了！

more often than not= often

还有，我把你说的那句好句子给改了，呵呵……

lanccyUID: 2156906

惨了，大家有没有觉得我的结论有点跑题啊：“事件的紧急程度和利益相关度决定是否该迅速作决定”，是否应该换成“决定的正确与否取决于决定者的对问题的正确判断”？

越看越觉得跑题了，郁闷啊，马上改