ISSUE185 【越洋农场】第四周慢组，请拍砖！

huhu_zsuUID: 2183490

ISSUE185*
185"Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
10:00-11:03
words：770

In this information-exploding(感觉这个表达怪怪的，我想说“信息爆炸时代”，是这样么？) era, we can easily obtain large numbers of get news from many means of mass medium, among which many are so-called scandals. Admittedly, those sandals can attract us attention in the nearly maximum extent and lead to the improvement of social system and moral-introspect, however, I am in favor of the opinion that the function of scandals is limited and even negative in some cases.

I concede that scandals’ positive function can not be ignored nowadays due to its great attraction to people. It is human curious mentality which drives us to know something beside our own affairs especially when those events are wrong-doing, disgrace, or moral outrage. Thanks to this commonage attention, many newspapers, TV programs and Internet websites are in favor of reporting some scandals of celebrities, government leaders and other social members which will lead to much more clicks ratio, audience rating and sales. Therefore, the coverage of scandals satisfies people’s curiosity as well as commercial profits of the mass medium.

If the commercial profits of the press are the exterior function of scandals, the feedback of the reader will exert a deep impact on our society. People are not only outsiders of scandals, in many cases they take pleasure in commending on those scandals and want to change something reflected from the scandals which they think will affect their own life one day in the future. One apt illustration to prove this view involves the scandals in politics and society level. Once a scandal about a undergraduate died in penitentiary in China, the whole society are astonished since he was arrested by the police without reasons and killed in the penitentiary due to striking by several watchmen. Along with this scandals are the experts’ scan of the regulation of accepting homeless people in China and the government’s abolition of the regulation that in the purpose of pacificating the civilians’ inflammation and preventing similar events from happening again. Example also involves in the sports activities. Whenever there are scandals about abuse of drugs or unfair judgment in a game, people involves in sports will pay attention to it and some measures will be taken to improve the regulation and purify the sports activities. And there are also many apt illustrations involves in academia and other areas which present how effective it is to pick up social problems and solves them quickly under the supervising of the whole society.

However, in my opinion, not all scandals are useful when we look deep to it. As the popular saying goes, every coin has two sides. When scandals play as catalyzer and lubricants for the development of society, it is also a sword hurt some inculpable people deeply. For example, one celebrators’ scandal is pressed by newspapers when his mother is dying in the hospital and his son is preparing for the most important examination in his life. It is not difficult for us to imagine what will happen to the close kin of the celebrity after themselves and people around them see the scandals. The mother will not be able to bear the beat and die quickly and the son maybe fail in the exam and lose his heart in front of the failure of himself and other's mockery for his father's scandals.

Further more, the function of some scandals is doubtful. In one hand, many mediums press scandals just in the purpose of commercial profits but regardless the trait of scandals. Skim through a newspaper, we can easily find some sexual scandals and marriage scandals about some pop stars. All they can do is to enhance the famous(“知名度”不知是不是这样说？) ， create some meaningless pursuing for the so-called fashion and finally contribute to the after-lunch topic. In other hand, although many scandals is helpful to speed up the settlement of some society problems, its own characteristic decide its function is correspondingly later. In most cases, the problems present by scandals are extremely serious with people died and huge money lose, it seem that it is a little late to pay attention to these problems and take measures to deal with them since we need to predict some problems and prevent them from occuring to save the limited resource and people's life.

From what I have been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that scandals are useful in many situations when play roles as the fuse for some social reform and improving. But meanwhile we should not be blind to their limitations and the negative impacts on some inculpable people.

写这个话题，我有很多可以说的，所以字数比较多。
我觉得自己的思想还是不错的，但语言这个载体需要加强。
欢迎大家拍砖。

[ 本帖最后由 huhu_zsu 于 2006-6-25 10:25 编辑 ]

kito9695UID: 209685

这下对啦，乖孩子~:o

FrostmournUID: 2179616

ISSUE185*
185"Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
10:00-11:03
words：770

In this information-exploding(我也觉得怪怪的) era, we can easily obtain large numbers of get news（这块什么意思？？get...） from many means of mass medium（media）, among which many are so-called scandals. Admittedly, those sandals can attract us（our） attention in（to） the nearly maximum extent and lead to the improvement of social system and moral-introspect,（此处建议句号） however, I am in favor of the opinion that the function of scandals is limited and even negative in some cases.

I concede that scandals’ positive function can not be ignored nowadays due to its great attraction to people. It is human curious mentality which（that） drives us to know something beside（beyond） our own affairs especially when those events are wrong-doing, disgrace, or moral outrage. Thanks to this commonage attention, many newspapers, TV programs and Internet websites are in favor of reporting some scandals of celebrities, government leaders and other social members which will lead to much more clicks ratio（是不是frequency好些？ratio好像是比率，比如1：2）, audience rating and sales. Therefore, the coverage of scandals satisfies people’s curiosity as well as commercial profits of the mass medium（media）.

If the commercial profits of the press are the exterior function of scandals, the feedback of the reader will exert a deep impact on our society. People are not only outsiders of scandals, in many cases they take pleasure in commending on those scandals and want to change something reflected from the scandals which they think will affect their own life one day in the future. One apt illustration to prove this view involves the scandals in politics and society level. Once a scandal about a undergraduate died in penitentiary in China, the whole society are astonished since he was arrested by the police without reasons and killed in the penitentiary due to striking by several watchmen. Along with this scandals are the experts’ scan（investigation） of the regulation of accepting homeless people in China and the government’s abolition of the regulation that in（for） the purpose of pacificating the civilians’ inflammation（这个表达我要学习一下） and preventing similar events from happening again. Example also involves in（去掉） the sports activities. Whenever there are scandals about abuse of drugs or unfair judgment in a game, people involves in sports will pay attention to it and some measures will be taken to improve the regulation and purify the sports activities. And there are also many apt illustrations involves in academia and other areas which present how effective it is to pick up social problems and solves them quickly under the supervising（supervision,我觉得能用一般名词最好不要用动名词） of the whole society.

However, in my opinion, not all scandals are useful when we look deep to it. As the popular saying goes, every coin has two sides. （我觉得有必要避开这句话了，中国人用的太滥了，老美早烦了）When scandals play as catalyzer and lubricants for the development of society, it is also a sword hurt some inculpable people deeply. For example, one celebrators’ （celebrity)scandal is pressed(issued) by newspapers when his mother is dying in the hospital and his son is preparing for the most important examination in his life. It is not difficult for us to imagine what will happen to the close kin of the celebrity after themselves and people around them see the scandals. The mother will not be able to bear the beat and die quickly and the son maybe fail in the exam and lose his heart in front of the failure of himself and other's mockery for his father's scandals.

Further more, the function of some scandals is doubtful. In one hand, many mediums(media) press scandals just in(for) the purpose of commercial profits but regardless(disregard,用动词) the trait of scandals. Skim through a newspaper, we can easily find some sexual scandals and marriage(marital) scandals about some pop stars. All they can do is to enhance the famous(我觉得可以用popularity) ， create some meaningless pursuing for the so-called fashion and finally contribute to the after-lunch(不知有无此表达） topic. In other hand, although many scandals is helpful to speed up the settlement of some society problems, its own characteristic decide its function is correspondingly later. In most cases, the problems present by scandals are extremely serious with people died and huge money lose, it seem that it is a little late to pay attention to these problems and take measures to deal with them since we need to predict some problems and prevent them from occuring to save the limited resource and people's life.

From what I have been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that scandals are useful in many situations when play roles as the fuse for some social reform and improving. But meanwhile we should not be blind to their limitations and the negative impacts on some inculpable（感觉用innocent较好） people.

文章的思路对我有很大启发，但语言上希望继续改进，尤其是动词，介词，还有从句的正确使用。另外，你开头指出你的观点是丑闻害处多好处有限，但第二三段用了如此大的篇幅写了让步的内容，而自己的正面观点明显少些，这样是不是有些失衡？

huhu_zsuUID: 2183490

谢谢frostmourn！每次都这么及时地给我改作文。
这次发得有点急，比较粗糙就拿给你改了。

如果把首段得“i am in favor of" 改成”we can not deny the fact that",是不是可以更好地与下文保持一致？？

希望路过地也帮我看看这个问题，感觉挺严重的。

另外，如果不用“every coin has two sides”,我想表示同样的意思该怎么说？那个什么“双刃剑”能用吗？该怎么表达？？

[ 本帖最后由 huhu_zsu 于 2006-6-26 08:59 编辑 ]