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[a习作temp] Argument17 (cracking GRE 第5次作业) [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-2-12 23:55:05 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ARGUMENT17 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Walnut Grove town newspaper.

"Walnut Grove's town council has advocated switching from EZ Disposal (which has had the contract for trash collection services in Walnut Grove for the past ten years) to ABC Waste, because EZ recently raised its monthly fee from $2,000 to $2,500 a month, whereas ABC's fee is still $2,000. But the town council is mistaken; we should continue using EZ. EZ collects trash twice a week, while ABC collects only once. Moreover, EZ-which, like ABC, currently has a fleet of 20 trucks-has ordered additional trucks. Finally, EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were 'satisfied' with EZ's performance."
WORDS: 409          TIME: 上午 01:10:00          DATE: 2007-2-12

This letter recommends that the decision which made by the town council was wrong. And we should continue using EZ rather than ABC. To justify this recommendation the letter's author notes that although the fee which charged by EZ was a little more than ABC, EZ collects trash twice a week, while ABC collects only once. Besides EZ currently has a fleet of 20 trucks - has ordered additional trucks. And what's more EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were: "satisfied" with EZ's performance.

First of all, the author tell us that the fee which charged by EZ was a little more than ABC. But we do not know that whether the residents in this town like to spend more regarding that kind of money. And if the ABC can totally collect the trash once a week, why people in that town need to collect twice?  Maybe the EZ can not collect the track at one time. This might be the reason why EZ need to collect trash twice a week.

Secondly, EZ-which, like ABC, currently has a fleet of 20 trucks - has ordered additional trucks. The arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the number of trucks and the efficient of the work. Perhaps the additional trucks are not used to collect trash. And even if the trucks are used to collect trash, the quality of the EZ’s service will certinaly improves?  Besides, the additional trucks may not well-equipped. Futhermore, may be the truck which owned by ABC are good enough to collect trash.

Thirdly, the author tell us that EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were: "satisfied" with EZ's performance. The result with the survey upon which the argument relies is too vague to be informative. On the one hand, the letter does not tell us who conducted this survey and how this survey was born. On the other hand, the arguer does not tell us that how many people there are in the town. Besides, maybe the people in this town may also satisfy with the ABC's performance.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide more evidence concerning the advantage of the EZ.
We stand alone together!!
我们孤胆,我们并肩!!
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发表于 2007-2-13 00:21:02 |只看该作者
This letter recommends(用the arguer recommends吧) that the decision which made by the town council was wrong. And we should continue using EZ rather than ABC. To justify this recommendation the letter's(去掉这个词) author notes that although the fee which charged by EZ was a little more than ABC, EZ collects trash twice a week, while ABC collects only once. Besides EZ currently has a fleet of 20 trucks - has ordered additional trucks. And what's(what is) more EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were: "satisfied" with EZ's performance.

First of all, the author tells us that the fee which charged by EZ was a little more than that of ABC. But we do not know that whether the residents in this town would like to spend more regarding that kind of money. And if the (去掉the)ABC can totally collect the trash once a week, why people in that town need to collect twice?  Maybe the (去掉the)EZ can not collect the track at one time. This might be the reason why EZ need to collect trash twice a week.


Secondly, EZ-which, like ABC, currently has a fleet of 20 trucks - has ordered additional trucks. The arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the number of trucks and the efficient(efficiency) of the work. Perhaps the additional trucks are not used to collect trash. And even if the trucks are used to collect trash(把collect trash改成do this), the quality of the(去掉the) EZ’s service will certinaly improves?(improve)  Besides,(前面用过besides,要换一个表示并且的单词) the additional trucks may not be well-equipped. Futhermore, may be(mybe) the trucks which owned by ABC are good enough to collect trash.

Thirdly, the author tell us that EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were: "satisfied" with EZ's performance. The result with the survey upon which the argument relies is too vague to be informative(去掉to be informative). On the one hand, the letter does not tell us who conducted this survey and how this survey was born. On the other hand, the arguer does not tell us that how many people there are in the town. Besides, (全文中第三次用到besides)maybe the people in this town may also satisfy with the ABC's performance.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide more evidences concerning the advantage of the EZ.

[ 本帖最后由 yoyo1919 于 2007-2-13 00:23 编辑 ]

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板凳
发表于 2007-2-13 00:24:08 |只看该作者
大的结构和层次我觉得没有什么问题,指出的是细节问题,还望共洽

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地板
发表于 2007-2-13 22:22:10 |只看该作者
This letter recommends that the decision which made by the town council was wrong. And we should continue using EZ rather than ABC. To justify this recommendation the letter's author notes that although the fee which charged by EZ was a little more than ABC, EZ collects trash twice a week, while ABC collects only once. Besides EZ currently has a fleet of 20 trucks - has ordered additional trucks. And what's more EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were: "satisfied" with EZ's performance.开头罗列一大堆,觉得没有什么意思,就是凑凑字数

First of all, the author tell us that the fee which charged by EZ was a little more than ABC. But we do not know that whether the residents in this town like to spend more regarding that kind of money. And if the ABC can totally 这个词什么意思collect the trash once a week, why people in that town need to collect twice?  Maybe the EZ can not collect the track at one time. This might be the reason why EZ need to collect trash twice a week.说理不充分,时间不是理由

Secondly, EZ-which, like ABC, currently has a fleet of 20 trucks - has ordered additional trucks. The arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the number of trucks and the efficient of the work. Perhaps the additional trucks are not used to collect trash. And even if the trucks are used to collect trash, the quality of the EZ’s service will certinaly improves?  Besides, the additional trucks may not well-equipped. Futhermore, may be the truck which owned by ABC are good enough to collect trash.一般

Thirdly, the author tell us that EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were: "satisfied" with EZ's performance. The result with the survey upon which the argument relies is too vague to be informative. 要说清楚,到底为什么啊On the one hand, the letter does not tell us who conducted this survey and how this survey was born. On the other hand, the arguer does not tell us that how many people there are in the town. Besides, maybe the people in this town may also satisfy with the ABC's performance.说理不充分,该说的没有说出来

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide more evidence concerning the advantage of the EZ.

写了一个小时写成这个样子就不是很好了,毕竟A对于我们提分是很重要的,因为大家45分钟写不出什么太好的issue,恩,还是加油了
今天天气不错~

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RE: Argument17 (cracking GRE 第5次作业) [修改]

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Argument17 (cracking GRE 第5次作业)
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