ISSUE120【Aero小组】第3次作业 by lovemxf

lovemxfUID: 2335206

------题目------
So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present.
------正文------
The speaker states that today is so much new and complex that looking back for an understanding of history provides little guidance for living in the present. I fundamentally agree with the speaker's statement. However, it should not overlook the great role of history.

The first reason that I essentially agree with the speaker is that many new problems rush out which could not be evaluated and judged by the past criterion and legal system. For example, many hackers like to attack others' computer to show their talent: some behaviors make other's computer busy all the time and others make some important computers paralyze. It is because there is no related law to confine these behaviors; some hackers dare to thieve the important intelligence and destroy government information system unscrupulous. So it would threaten the national security and stability with confirming the old laws and rules conventionally.

The second reason my agreement with the speaker is that many complicated problems emerging today greatly challenge the traditional moral rules and social norms such as Homosexual, Euthanasia and so on. Let us take another example from educational area. The number of unmarried mothers is continual growth today and someone is still in school. Whether they could go to school with their little baby brings a tremendous controversy in the society. Now some countries already allow the young mother to study in the classroom with her child, but it surely influences her learning effect and what's more it might disturb the class order and distract the teacher and other students’ attention. Therefore the complicated problems facing today are difficult to find a solution only through comprehending the past.  

However, it could guide a correct direction for a person, a group, even a country through learning the experiences and lessons of history. The most persuasive example is MBA teaching methods. The students acquire successful abilities through constantly studying success and failure cases one after another in the business. Another example in the military is that many ancient strategies and tactics are still utilized in the modern warfare. The examples clearly illustrate that understanding the past is also benefit in many realms today.

To sum up, many problems which are particular and intricate turn out and could not be resolved only through understanding the past. It requires contemporary people to adjust the related rules and norms to keep closely with changing trends. As the same time we should not overlook the vital role of the past which could give correct directions to success.


[ 本帖最后由 lovemxf 于 2007-12-25 16:20 编辑 ]

lovemxfUID: 2335206

我的基本功不是很好，语法错误很多，请大家多多指教谢谢！！

hziu2UID: 2326409

The first reason that I essentially agree with the speaker is that many new problems rush out which could not be evaluated and judged by the past criterion and legal system. For example, many hackers like to attack others' computer to show their talent: some behaviors make other's computer busy all the time and others make some important computers paralyze. It is because there is no related law to confine these behaviors; some hackers dare to thieve the important intelligence and destroy government information system unscrupulous. So it would threaten the national security and stability with confirming the old laws and rules conventionally. 第一段来得很突兀

The second reason my agreement with the speaker is that many complicated problems emerging today greatly challenge the traditional moral rules and social norms such as Homosexual, Euthanasia and so on. Let us take another example from educational area. The number of unmarried mothers is continual growth today and （even）someone is still in school. Whether they could go to school with their little baby brings a tremendous controversy in the society. Now some countries already allow the young mother to study in the classroom with her child, but it surely influences her learning effect and what's more it might disturb the class order and distract the teacher and other students’ attention. Therefore the complicated problems facing today are difficult to find a solution only through comprehending the past. 为什么现在的问题解决不了，放在过去也解决不了。作者只是举了个例子，却没有说明。

However, it could guide a correct direction for a person, a group, even a country through learning the experiences and lessons of history. The most persuasive example is MBA teaching methods. The students acquire successful abilities through constantly studying success and failure cases one after another in the business. Another example in the military is that many ancient strategies and tactics are still utilized in the modern warfare. The examples clearly illustrate that understanding the past is also benefit in many realms today.作者这段写得不错，一气呵成。

To sum up, many problems which are particular and intricate turn out and could not be resolved only through understanding the past. It requires contemporary people to adjust the related rules and norms to keep closely with changing trends. As the same time we should not overlook the vital role of the past which could give correct directions to success.
首先觉得作者的表达还可以，比较流利。
再就是文章的结构问题：
首先，没有主题段。就像文章没有灵魂，没有一个主导的思想。
第二，作者在例证后很少作说理补充，这使得文章有点像例子的堆砌，少了说服力。

lovemxfUID: 2335206

"------正文------
The speaker states that today is so much new and complex that looking back for an understanding of history provides little guidance for living in the present. I fundamentally agree with the speaker's statement. However, it should not overlook the great role of history."
这是我的第一段,你是不是没考下来啊,在帮我看看吧谢谢,
另外论证的递进部分的确有点困难,我只是想说它是个难题不好解决,具体还要在再想想.
还是要谢谢你的修改.对我帮助很大.

hziu2UID: 2326409

:funk: 不好意思...
文章写得很好,觉得作者可以试着往深点写了
开头显得简单了些.

孑。。。UID: 2371205

ISSUE120【Aero小组】第3次作业 by lovemxf
------题目------
So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present.
------正文------
The speaker states that today is so much new and complex that looking back for an understanding of history provides little guidance for living in the present. I fundamentally agree with the speaker's statement. However, it(这里用it好奇怪的样子。) should not overlook the great role of history.

The first reason that I essentially agree with the speaker is that many new problems rush out which could not be evaluated and judged by the past criterion and legal system. For example, many hackers like to attack others' computer to show their talent: some behaviors make other's computer busy all the time and others make some important computers paralyze. It is because there is no related law to confine these behaviors; some hackers dare to thieve the important intelligence and destroy government information system unscrupulous. So it would threaten the national security and stability with confirming the old laws and rules conventionally. （这里只是说an understanding of history..你说的好像是以前的law，是一种比较具体的东西哦。。）

The second reason my agreement with the speaker is that many complicated problems emerging today greatly challenge the traditional moral rules and social norms such as Homosexual, Euthanasia and so on（such as  ..and so on?不知道可不可以一起用噢。。）. Let us take another example from educational area. The number of unmarried mothers is continual growth today and someone is still in school（这句话我读得很不顺）. Whether they could go to school with their little baby brings a tremendous controversy in the society. Now some countries already allow the young mother to study in the classroom with her child, but it surely influences her learning effect and what's more it might disturb the class order and distract the teacher and other students’ attention. Therefore the complicated problems facing today are difficult to find a solution only through comprehending the past.  
（怎么觉得地一点和第二点有点重复。。）
However, it（it到底指的是什么？） could guide a correct direction for a person, a group, even a country through learning the experiences and lessons of history. The most persuasive example is MBA teaching methods. The students acquire successful abilities through constantly studying success and failure cases one after another in   business. Another example in the military is that many ancient strategies and tactics are still utilized in the modern warfare. The examples clearly illustrate that understanding the past is also benefit in many realms today.

To sum up, many problems which are particular and intricate turn out and could not be resolved only through understanding the past.（关于这一点的论证我觉得不是很贴切。第一点你说的是以前的法律不能制约现在的犯罪。第二点说的是现代有新的问题出现，并没有论证对以前的认识不能解决现在的问题。） It requires contemporary people to adjust the related rules and norms to keep closely with changing trends. At the same time we should not overlook the vital role of the past which could give correct directions to success.

整篇文章结构清晰。第一点和第二点不知道可不可以调整一下。让结构更加严谨。。例子很好。。但是论证的时候。再贴切的论证论点会比较好。关于这点。具体的方法。我还在修炼中。。共勉。。