argument38<aero>小组第十四次作业

wizardzUID: 2268761

TOPIC: ARGUMENT38 - The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."

    This memo suggests the daily use of Ichthaid as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. This recommendation is based on the contention that colds are the most frequently used reason for absences. This memo also reports that in East Meria, where fish consumption is high, people visit doctors only once or twice a year. However, I find this argument unconvincing as it stands.
   To begin with, successful measures to prevent colds do not necessarily lower absenteeism. Other factors might contribute more to the total number of absences, including people's ethnics for work, the weather conditions, etc. So even if the nutritional supplement suggested by this memo is effective, lower absenteesim would not be achieved with other causes of absenteeism remain unchanged or even increase.
      The study reported information about the nearby East Meria in this memo which is insufficient in proving that fish consumption prevents colds. First, I am not convinced that people in East Meria is resistance to colds. Although people in East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of cold, the people might still suffer greatly from colds. It is possible that a large portion of people catches cold every year. Equally possible is the fact that people in East Meria are reluctant to see doctors, they prefer taking medicines by themselves as colds are not severe diseases in most cases. Even if people in East Meria have greater resistance to colds, this resistance might not be due to their fish consumption. Maybe the habit of constantly taking part in sports activitie contributes to their immunity. Without ruling out all these possiblities, the memo can not convince me that high fish consumption would help prevent cold.
Even if evidences are given to support that fish are effective in preventing colds. The recommendation of daily use of Ichthaid is unsubstantiated because the effectiveness of fish does not prove the usefulness of fish oil. Nutritional contents other than fish oil in fish might be the main contents help people prevent cold. Even if fish oil is the most effective contents, the memo fails to compare and prove that the Ichthaid products are the best for people. Evidences are also lacking in supporting that daily intake would be most effective.
   To sum up, the recommendation made in this memo is poorly grounded. It fails to establish a sure path to lowering absenteeism through the prevention of cold. In addition, more evidences are needed reach the conclusion that Ichthaid is truly effective.

zephyrqqUID: 2260290

argument38<aero>小组第十四次作业

TOPIC: ARGUMENT38 - The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."

    This memo suggests the daily use of Ichthaid as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. This recommendation is based on the contention that colds are the most frequently used reason for absences. This memo also reports that in East Meria, where fish consumption is high, people visit doctors only once or twice a year. However, I find this argument unconvincing as it stands.

   To begin with, successful measures to prevent colds do not necessarily lower absenteeism. Other factors might contribute more to the total number of absences, including people's ethnics responsibilities for work, the weather conditions, etc. So even if the nutritional supplement suggested by this memo is effective, lower absenteesim would not be achieved with other causes of absenteeism remain unchanged or even increase.

      The study reported information about the nearby East Meria in this memo which is insufficient in proving that fish consumption prevents colds. First, I am not convinced that people in East Meria is resistance to colds. Although people in East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of cold, the people might still suffer greatly from colds. It is possible that a large portion of people catches cold every year. Equally possible is the fact that people in East Meria are reluctant to see doctors, they prefer taking medicines by themselves as colds are not severe diseases in most cases. Even if people in East Meria have greater resistance感觉这个词用得不错immunity免疫力 to colds, this resistance might not be due to their fish consumption. Maybe the habit of constantly taking part in sports activitie contributes to their immunity. Without ruling out all these possiblities, the memo can not convince me that high fish consumption would help prevent cold.

Even if evidences are given to support that fish are effective in preventing colds. The recommendation of daily use of Ichthaid is unsubstantiated because the effectiveness of fish does not prove the usefulness of fish oil. Nutritional contents other than fish oil in fish might be the main contents help people prevent cold. Even if fish oil is the most effective contents, the memo fails to compare and prove that the Ichthaid products are the best for people. Evidences are also lacking in supporting that daily intake would be most effective.

   To sum up, the recommendation made in this memo is poorly grounded. It fails to establish a sure path to lowering absenteeism through the prevention of cold. In addition, more evidences are needed reach the conclusion that Ichthaid is truly effective.

写的不错~继续努力，欢迎看看我的这一篇
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=802611&extra=page%3D1

liuyang_zanUID: 2456614

This memo suggests the daily use of Ichthaid as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. This recommendation is based on the contention that colds are the most frequently used reason for absences. This memo also reports that in East Meria, where fish consumption is high, people visit doctors only once or twice a year. However, I find this argument unconvincing as it stands.
   To begin with, successful measures to prevent colds do not necessarily lower absenteeism. Other factors might contribute more to the total number of absences, including people's ethnics for work, the weather conditions, etc. So even if the nutritional supplement suggested by this memo is effective, lower absenteesim would not be achieved with other causes of absenteeism remain unchanged or even increase.
      The study reported information about the nearby East Meria in this memo which is insufficient in proving that fish consumption prevents colds. First, I am not convinced that people in East Meria is resistance to colds. (有点怪)Although people in East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of cold, the people might still suffer greatly from colds. It is possible that a large portion of people catches cold every year. Equally possible（前面的可能性和之后的是一个意思 为什么用equally呀）is the fact that people in East Meria are reluctant to see doctors, they prefer taking medicines by themselves as colds are not severe diseases in most cases. Even if people in East Meria have greater resistance to colds, this resistance might not be due to their fish consumption. Maybe the habit of constantly taking part in sports activitie contributes to their immunity. Without ruling out all these possiblities, the memo can not convince me that high fish consumption would help prevent cold.
Even if evidences are given to support that fish are effective in preventing colds. The recommendation of daily use of Ichthaid is unsubstantiated because the effectiveness of fish does not prove the usefulness of fish oil. Nutritional contents other than fish oil in fish might be the main contents help people prevent cold. Even if fish oil is the most effective contents, the memo fails to compare and prove that the Ichthaid products are the best for people. Evidences are also lacking in supporting that daily intake would be most effective.（这句感觉有点钻~~）
   To sum up, the recommendation made in this memo is poorly grounded. It fails to establish a sure path to lowering absenteeism through the prevention of cold. In addition, more evidences are needed reach the conclusion that Ichthaid is truly effective.

katu1204UID: 2355887

This memo suggests the daily use of Ichthaid as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. This recommendation is based on the contention that colds are the most frequently used reason for absences. This memo also reports that in East Meria, where fish consumption is high, people visit doctors only once or twice a year. However, I find this argument unconvincing as it stands.

   To begin with, successful measures to prevent colds do not necessarily lower absenteeism. Other factors might contribute more to the total number of absences, including people's ethnics (consciousness ) for work, the weather conditions, etc. So even if the nutritional supplement suggested by this memo is effective, lower（fewer） absenteeism would not be achieved with other causes of absenteeism remain unchanged or even increase(组织有问题，要改哈不知道改的好不好，没把握with those causes of absenteeism remaining unchanged or even having increased).

      The study reported information about the nearby East Meria in this memo which is insufficient in proving that fish consumption prevents colds[这句我感觉有点问题，有点不流畅]. First, I am not convinced that people in East Meria is resistance to colds. Although people in East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of cold, the people might still suffer greatly from colds. It is possible that a large portion of people catches cold every year. Equally possible is the fact that people in East Meria are reluctant to see doctors, they prefer taking medicines by themselves as colds are not severe diseases in most cases. Even if people in East Meria have greater resistance to colds, this resistance might not be due to their fish consumption. Maybe the habit of constantly taking part in sports activitie contributes to their immunity. Without ruling out all these possiblities, the memo can not convince me that high fish consumption would help prevent cold.

Even if evidences are given to support that fish are effective in preventing colds. The recommendation of daily use of Ichthaid is unsubstantiated because the effectiveness of fish does not prove the usefulness of fish oil. Nutritional contents other than fish oil in fish might be the main contents help people prevent cold. Even if fish oil is the most effective contents, the memo fails to compare and prove that the Ichthaid products are the best for people. Evidences are also lacking in supporting that daily intake would be most effective.

   To sum up, the recommendation made in this memo is poorly grounded. It fails to establish a sure path to lowering absenteeism through the prevention of cold. In addition, more evidences are needed reach the conclusion that Ichthaid is truly effective.

第二段是你论证的亮点啊，比较深入。除了部分句法有问题，感觉作者写作与论证已经非常娴熟了