argument123, 求拍

kingploughUID: 2492921

TOPIC: ARGUMENT123 - The following appeared in a health newsletter.

"Eating a heavy meal may increase the risk of heart attack. A recent survey of 2,000 people who had had a heart attack revealed that 158 of them said they had eaten a heavy meal within 24 hours before their heart attack, and 25 of them said they had eaten a heavy meal within 2 hours before their heart attack. Eating and digesting food releases hormones into the bloodstream and temporarily increases heart rate and blood pressure slightly. Both of these things put stress on the heart. Therefore, people who are at risk of having a heart attack can lower that risk by not overeating."

In this argument, the author claims that less eating can lower the risk of heart attack. To bolster the conclusion, the author cites a survey of 2,000 people who have the experience of heart attack and the fact that eating food releases hormones which can add the burden of heart. That seems logical at first glance. However, based on the cursory survey and at the absence of clinical evidences, the argument is questionable at best.

The argument is not cogent because the result of the survey lends little support to the assumption that overeating can boost heart attack. First, the generalization of the survey is open to question. At the absence of the detailed information of the respondents in the survey, we can hardly believe that the 2,000 people are necessarily representative of the general population. If most of these people are very old or lead stressful lifestyles, the result of the survey have little meaning to a wider population. Secondly, the author fails to consider other possible factors that may attribute to the heart attacks in this survey. For example, smoking, anxiety, obesity, and diabetes are all on the list of common factors that may increase the risk of heart attack. In this survey, people’s health conditions and original risk of heart attack are not indicated. It is entirely possible that the people who had heart attacks after a heavy meal have diabetes, and the reason for the heart attacks is they had eaten too much sugar. Or perhaps some of them had taken some medication that may lead to heart attack. It is also likely that the 158 people have digesting problems and susceptive to heavy meals. In a word, without ruling out other alternatives, the author can not establish a causal relationship between overeating and the risk of heart attack just by coincident things.

What is more, the mere fact that eating food releases hormones which will put stress on heart does not necessarily means that less eating will lower the risk of heart attack. For one thing, although the hormones can increase heart rate and blood pressure slightly, no evidence shows that this increase will lead to a heart attack. How much hormones could lead to a significant risk of heart attack? If ordinary meal or even heavy meal can not release enough hormones which can threaten heart, overeating might not be relevant to higher risk of heart attack. For another, if the hormones are dangerous for people at the risk of heart attack, merely eating less may not be helpful. Medication may be needed to counteract the effect of the hormones. Without credible clinical evidences, the conclusion is unconvincing.

Even if we accept that overeating does have some influence on the risk of heart attack, it is still too arbitrary to claim that by not overeating, people will have less risk of heart attack. The significance of overeating depends on many factors. For a person who has diabetes, the diet may be the last thing he or she can neglect. While for a person who is young and just allergic to some special medications, overeating may have little influence on the risk of heart attack. Over emphasize overeating might make people overlook other more important factors. Furthermore, the key term “not overeating” is too vague and too general. How much food means safe? What kind of food is not included in “heavy meal”? People who have diabetes can not eat too much or too less sugar, while people have some heart diseases should keep low salt consumption. In fact, it is impossible to make a general criterion of eating for all people at the risk of having a heart attack. In most instances, other factors are more pivotal for controlling the risk of heart attack. Even for people who need a diet, the details of diet can be diversity.  

To sum up, the argument is not well-reasoned. To strengthen it, the author should make some detailed studies to confirm the causal relationship between overeating and higher risk of heart attack. In addition, to everyone who at the risk of having a heart attack, it is better to make a specialized recommendation other than a cursory guide.

[ 本帖最后由 kingplough 于 2008-10-5 13:49 编辑 ]

StrayCrowUID: 2348763

TOPIC: ARGUMENT123 - The following appeared in a health newsletter.

"Eating a heavy meal may increase the risk of heart attack. A recent survey of 2,000 people who had had a heart attack revealed that 158 of them said they had eaten a heavy meal within 24 hours before their heart attack, and 25 of them said they had eaten a heavy meal within 2 hours before their heart attack. Eating and digesting food releases hormones into the bloodstream and temporarily increases heart rate and blood pressure slightly. Both of these things put stress on the heart. Therefore, people who are at risk of having a heart attack can lower that risk by not overeating."

In this argument, the author claims that less eating(lless eating 是少吃 not overeating 是不暴饮暴食 还是有区别的吧) can lower the risk of heart attack. To bolster the conclusion, the author cites a survey of 2,000 people who have the experience of heart attack and the fact that eating food releases hormones which can add the burden of heart. That(this argument) seems logical at first glance. However, based on the cursory survey and at the absence of clinical evidences, the argument is questionable at best.这个用法？

The argument is not cogent because the result of the survey lends little support to the assumption that overeating can boost heart attack. First, the generalization of the survey is open to question. At the absence of the detailed information of the respondents in the survey, we can hardly believe that the 2,000 people are necessarily representative of the general population. If most of these people are very old or lead stressful lifestyles这里不是很明白 这能反驳吗？, the result of the survey have little meaning to a wider population. Secondly, the author fails to consider other possible factors that may attribute to the heart attacks in this survey. For example, smoking, anxiety, obesity, and diabetes这些的确是心脏病诱因 但是在这里没有办法反驳暴饮暴食与心脏病无关 一个人也许因为吸烟焦虑有了心脏病 但是某次暴饮暴食以后他心脏病犯了 你还是不能说明心脏病犯了与暴饮暴食没有关系啊 are all on the list of common factors that may increase the risk of heart attack. In this survey, people’s health conditions and original risk of heart attack are not indicated. It is entirely possible that the people who had heart attacks after a heavy meal have diabetes, and the reason for the heart attacks is they had eaten too much sugar这个例子不正好帮了作者 这不正好说明了没事不要吃这么多 万一吃多了引起糖尿病再导致心脏病发 你注意这里的诱因就是吃多了 也许本质原因是糖尿病. Or perhaps some of them had taken some medication that may lead to heart attack. It is also likely that the 158 people have digesting problems and susceptive to heavy meals. In a word, without ruling out other alternatives, the author can not establish a causal relationship between overeating and the risk of heart attack just by coincident things. 这篇列举他因 好像按照你这样列举不太好 你这样列举其实没有摆脱 暴饮暴食和心脏病的关系 你应该说 完全排除暴饮暴食的列举 比如 暴饮暴食是因为情绪变化很大 太高兴或者太伤心 而导致心脏病犯的不是暴饮暴食而是因为太高兴或者太伤心了

What is more, the mere fact that eating food releases hormones which will put stress on heart does not necessarily means that less eating will lower the risk of heart attack. For one thing, although the hormones can increase heart rate and blood pressure slightly, no evidence shows that this increase will lead to a heart attack. How much hormones could lead to a significant risk of heart attack? If ordinary meal or even heavy meal can not release enough hormones which can threaten heart, overeating might not be relevant to higher risk of heart attack. For another, if the hormones are dangerous for people at the risk of heart attack, merely eating less may not be helpful. Medication may be needed to counteract the effect of the hormones. Without credible clinical evidences, the conclusion is unconvincing. 这段表达很清楚

Even if we accept that overeating does have some influence on the risk of heart attack, it is still too arbitrary to claim that by not overeating, people will have less risk of heart attack. The significance of overeating depends on many factors. For a person who has diabetes, the diet may be the last thing he or she can neglect. While for a person who is young and just allergic to some special medications, overeating may have little influence on the risk of heart attack. Over emphasize overeating might make people overlook other more important factors. Furthermore, the key term “not overeating” is too vague and too general. How much food means safe? What kind of food is not included in “heavy meal”? 好！ People who have diabetes can not eat too much or too less sugar, while people have some heart diseases should keep low salt consumption. In fact, it is impossible to make a general criterion of eating for all people at the risk of having a heart attack. In most instances, other factors are more pivotal for controlling the risk of heart attack. Even for people who need a diet, the details of diet can be diversity.  这段的观点很新颖 质疑了overeating的定义 不错 就是能不老是用糖尿病吗 呵呵...

To sum up, the argument is not well-reasoned. To strengthen it, the author should make some detailed studies to confirm the causal relationship between overeating and higher risk of heart attack. In addition, to everyone who at the risk of having a heart attack, it is better to make a specialized recommendation other than a cursory guide.

恩 语言一如既往很好 逻辑觉得除了第一段有点问题 后面都不错
不过个人觉得 条理可以再清晰一些 有时候看着看着 也不知道你把我的思路带到那里去了
我记得你那篇段落中也分点陈述那篇很不错
你现在只需要多写文章 多练习就可以了 不知道时间控制的怎么样了
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-882399-1-1.html 又一篇

StrayCrowUID: 2348763

我看了你的评论 我理解了一些你的意思 我好像一棒子打死它了 文章只是说lower risk 说明或多或少还是有原因的
～
考官会关注的这么严格吗？

kingploughUID: 2492921

你说的也有道理。其实我们不需要明白overeat作用有多大，只要分点批驳就好了。既然最后一段已经有了让步，第一段可以更明确地说overeat也许并没有增加心脏病发的风险。
这篇是我限时写过之后改的。第二段在限时的时候写的没有这么多。:mad

你限时怎么样了？

加油:handshake

oyhdUID: 2490181

你们限时的文章以前列过提纲没?

kingploughUID: 2492921

一般都列过，或者写之前先思考一下。不然心里没底

oyhdUID: 2490181

我觉得题目中的例子本身就很有问题,2000人中只有158曾经暴吃过这就是在反对作者的观点了,没必要去质疑它的可靠性吧?
我也写了这篇,过来帮忙拍拍,谢谢!https://bbs.gter.net/thread-882492-1-1.html

mqi07UID: 2521740

In this argument, the author claims that less eating can lower the risk of heart attack. To bolster the conclusion, the author cites a survey of 2,000 people who have the experience of heart attack and the fact that eating food releases hormones which can add the burden of heart. That seems logical at first glance. However, based on the cursory(用的很好) survey and at the absence of clinical evidences, the argument is questionable at best.

The argument is not cogent because the result of the survey lends little support to the assumption that overeating can boost heart attack. First, the generalization of the survey is open to question. At the absence of the detailed information of the respondents in the survey, we can hardly believe that the 2,000 people are necessarily representative of the general population. If most of these people are very old or lead stressful lifestyles(这个例子很赞), the result of the survey have little meaning to a wider population. Secondly, the author fails to consider other possible factors that may attribute to the heart attacks in this survey. For example, smoking, anxiety, obesity, and diabetes are all on the list of common factors that(学习这个用法) may increase the risk of heart attack. In this survey, people’s health conditions and original risk of heart attack are not indicated. It is entirely possible that the people who had heart attacks after a heavy meal have diabetes, and the reason for the heart attacks is (that)they had eaten too much sugar. Or perhaps some of them had taken some medication that may lead to heart attack. It is also likely that the 158 people have digesting problems and susceptive to heavy meals. In a word, without ruling out other alternatives, the author can not establish a causal relationship between overeating and the risk of heart attack just by coincident things.

这段要驳斥的是survey cannot prove that overeating can boost heart attack, lz 分别从survey不准确以及overeating 不一定是引起心脏病两个方面来讨论,而段尾却仅仅扣在后一点上(还是说段尾那句仅是后一点的小总结?),我觉得应该分两段来分别批比较好 第一段可以批assumption,然后第二段做个让步,再就survey来展开,比如你提到的2000人不具有代表性,然后再让一下步,再说158人仅仅是2000的一小部分,也not persuasive..



What is more, the mere fact that eating food releases hormones which will put stress on heart does not necessarily means that less eating will lower the risk of heart attack. For one thing, although the hormones can increase heart rate and blood pressure slightly, no evidence shows that this increase will lead to a heart attack. How much hormones could lead to a significant risk of heart attack? If ordinary meal or even heavy meal can not release enough hormones which can threaten heart, overeating might not be relevant to higher risk of heart attack(是否质疑 increase 而非hormone的程度更好?). For another, if the hormones are dangerous for people at the risk of heart attack, merely eating less may not be helpful. Medication may be needed to counteract the effect of the hormones. Without credible clinical evidences, the conclusion is unconvincing.

Even if we accept that overeating does have some influence on the risk of heart attack, it is still too arbitrary to claim that by not overeating, people will have less risk of heart attack. The significance of overeating depends on many factors. For a person who has diabetes, the diet may be the last thing he or she can neglect. While for a person who is young and just allergic to some special medications, overeating may have little influence on the risk of heart attack. Over emphasize(emphasis on) overeating might make people overlook other more important factors. Furthermore, the key term “not overeating” is too vague and too general. How much food means safe? What kind of food is not included in “heavy meal”? People who have diabetes can not eat too much or too less sugar, while people have some heart diseases should keep low salt consumption. In fact, it is impossible to make a general criterion of (学习!)eating for all people at the risk of having a heart attack. In most instances, other factors are more pivotal(学习!) for controlling the risk of heart attack. Even for people who need a diet, the details of diet can be diversity.  

To sum up, the argument is not well-reasoned. To strengthen it, the author should make some detailed studies to confirm the causal relationship between overeating and higher risk of heart attack. In addition, to everyone who at the risk of having a heart attack, it is better to make a specialized recommendation other than a cursory guide.

有空看看偶的 https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=882585&highlight=

StrayCrowUID: 2348763

你已经最后冲刺了 加油啊～ 在争取多练几篇 我的观点还是 只要自己能自圆其说 不要忽略太大的逻辑漏洞 具体的细节问题不大 毕竟还是整体评分

oyhdUID: 2490181

楼上的还有楼主你们ISSUE准备的咋样了?还有你们想拿到几分啊?

StrayCrowUID: 2348763

issue 刚刚在研究中 越高越好呗 呵呵 要加核燃料了

kingploughUID: 2492921

我改成23号考了。ISSUE痛苦准备中。我现在最大的问题就是限时的时候中间三段严重缩水。所以限时的习作就不贴上来浪费大家时间了。
希望能考4.5分。

草木也知愁UID: 2487572

现在被10G折磨 没时间直接下手改了

用一个珍藏的软件给你扫描了一遍

StrayCrowUID: 2348763

那 咱们同一天考啊  我刚才还想 如果你考完了 就没有互助的G友 这样正好可以一起加油到底了:loveliness:

oyhdUID: 2490181

有空回来看看.帮帮小弟我.