如果不给我同情分，大家觉得这篇Essay 能得几分？

topgoerUID: 2563731

这一篇的字数是353...

$ |! y9 y( f7 F6 j( hFriends are an important part of life. They make us smile, feel good and laugh. However, the famed actress Marlene Dietrich once said, "It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. in the morning that really matter." John Collins echoed the same sentiment when he pronounced, "It's in adversity that we know our genuine friends."

( p: ]/ X2 p# Y1 R" S7 x: T8 {' @          Maybe friends only show their true color when times are tough?
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Assignment: How do you feel about the idea that real friendship can only be truly revealed during troubled times in a person's life? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
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Friends are basic elements of everybody’s life. We and our friends are linked interdependently. Amongst all friends that we come across, “fair weather” friends are of the majority. ‘Fair weather’ friends are more like vices, leeching our wealth when we succeed. The only instance where such friends disappear is when our vessels sank, who will never help in our times of distress.

Since ‘fair weather’ friends are vices, the contrast brings the other side of friends to light, true die-hard friends. These friends are just like our comrades in the battleground, shielding us from harm, giving us new life when we land in desperate situations. In ancient times, battles were fought by various factions. We and our friends should bond in such a way that one will never desert the friend, just like how true warriors never back down to put his ally at risk. Only the die-hard bonded friendships will last, just like the soldier and his fellow comrades in “Band of Brothers’.
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7 c7 J* H( Q3 }) hSome great examples come from the films that depict epic stories of brotherhood and friendship in ancient times. In the movie 300, where the epic story is about how 300 Spartans defended against the conquest of the Persian Empire. All 300 warriors fought together in spirits way beyond the humanities of friendship, giving the audience a strong feel of the bond between them. In one unforgettable classic scene when the leader of 300 asked different soldiers in the opposite camp of where they come from. Those soldiers answered in different accents, each of different country and occupation. Then the 300 roared “Sparta” in unison, and this clearly tells us how true blood-bonded friendship is like.

Sadly, such friends are too hard to find in modern times, where everyone in society has their own bowl to care about. Now the term “friends” clearly refers to those fair weather friends, and few would really have true reliable friends to count on. True friendship requires the unique bond that only comes after blood boil and sacrifice. To find a ‘soul-linked’ friend is definitely a feat that we all must be proud of.
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AnatasevenUID: 2402757

5分应该有哦

topgoerUID: 2563731

谢谢Anataseven，
这是到目前为止，我在这得到过的最高分？

gsylanceUID: 2422506

4-5分吧
% M5 j  @/ d" h4 k7 C有没有修改过呢？（在２５分钟之内？）

深海lavenderUID: 2350207

LZ表怪我扫兴,我给的话,不会超过4分.
首先跑题了.题目是问你同不同意并用例子论证,而你的文章给人的感觉像是极力批判生活中的普通朋友,然后说你觉得真正的友谊是怎样的,举的例子也不合适.
) N2 M2 N1 d1 c8 w! ^另外,有些语法错误,给我的感觉是一心想用复杂句和难的单词,但是反而有点弄巧成拙了.简单自然最好.在地道和自然的基础上,能变化句型句式当然更好.

topgoerUID: 2563731

All comments and suggestions appreciated. Constructive criticism is helpful to my progress, I post my essays here to seek trueful advice. I hope everyone can share their experience or suggest some examples for my reference.