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发表于 2009-1-11 09:04:20 |只看该作者

回复 #318 阿泰 的帖子

大版主?什么意思?网站总的负责人?

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发表于 2009-1-11 09:13:37 |只看该作者

回复 #319 腾格里旅狼 的帖子

trees
法律阿泰: http://www.weibo.com/5820884819/ 第一时间的海外法学院申请, NGO实习及各种学术会议信息

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发表于 2009-1-11 10:08:50 |只看该作者
有章子啦;d:
法律阿泰: http://www.weibo.com/5820884819/ 第一时间的海外法学院申请, NGO实习及各种学术会议信息

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发表于 2009-1-11 10:41:57 |只看该作者

回复 #313 腾格里旅狼 的帖子

谢谢仁兄哈!
评奖的很好!收益匪浅!
那三个问句开头的方法是张红岩的作文书里提到的,我打算试试看的!
你提到的年龄问题我确实是忽略了!再次感谢!!

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IBT Zeal

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发表于 2009-1-11 11:14:54 |只看该作者

Movies and Television more negative effects on young people.

Since the rapid development of Medias, people have a better understanding about this world than before. Also, Medias bring the closer distance between countries that one could know culture and customs from the outside without traveling. Television and movies, as essential ways of entertainments transmits local stories and international news among nations. But I tend to assure that Medias bring both negative and active effects on young generation as it depends on young adults’ different personalities.

In the first place, the youngster due to inadequate recognition may be misled by the Medias. Most young people prefer to pursue fashionable cloths and lifestyles. And television and movie provide the space about this colorful world and how other youth’s behavior. Many decades ago, it was seldom happened that people had physical relationship before got married. Meanwhile, abortion could not be accepted in the society no matter in the United States or in China. However, that culture is conveyed by Hollywood to American youth who may consider they could do like that. Also, Chinese young people who follow this tendency believe that is Americans’ lifestyle. It should be considered deeply when abortions are increasing among high school students. A doctor expressed that her patients, 70 percents are teenagers. Many negative behaviors in movies are adopted by young generation who may think it was a fashionable lifestyle.


On the other hand, there are still many young people have a better comprehension about this world through active programs. They focus on knowledge and international news. Lots of young people were attracted by the serious earthquake in China last year and joined in this event as volunteers. From this situation, television programs as a communication tool assist young adults to participate in social event. It develops their responsibilities for society. Meanwhile, a program, Discovery conveys scientific knowledge which assists those youth who prepare TOEFL iBT. They could learn science and zoology. Medias are more eligible for people to study without going outside.

In conclusion, television and movies are parts of modern people’s life. It provides the knowledge they could learn from and introduce exotic cultures that enlarges people’s recognition. Therefore, it is unreasonable to assure they could only have negative effect on young generation.

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发表于 2009-1-11 11:16:15 |只看该作者
有的时候我写作文跟题目很有关。也是最近发现的,通过你。所有作文都是一次性写的。也没有看别人的或查很多材料。如果不是你批改我还以为都是一个样子,反正都是我写的。好像有的题目我很有灵感,写出来也比较顺畅吧。有的我觉得还行但是很多地方连接不对。你说我怎么调整呢。就要考了!18号,恐怖… 你说我可以上25吗,好好调整!:handshake 谢谢

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发表于 2009-1-11 11:19:00 |只看该作者

回复 #324 chineselady 的帖子

考完记得回来写考试心得哦:handshake
法律阿泰: http://www.weibo.com/5820884819/ 第一时间的海外法学院申请, NGO实习及各种学术会议信息

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发表于 2009-1-11 11:23:25 |只看该作者
原帖由 chineselady 于 2009-1-11 11:16 发表
有的时候我写作文跟题目很有关。也是最近发现的,通过你。所有作文都是一次性写的。也没有看别人的或查很多材料。如果不是你批改我还以为都是一个样子,反正都是我写的。好像有的题目我很有灵感,写出来也比较顺 ...

你也18号考吗》
我也是18号!
另外我觉得你的作文中国味很重,就是不太地道...
感觉有语法错误,你应该多模仿优秀范文,看别人怎么写的

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发表于 2009-1-11 15:28:57 |只看该作者

回复 #325 阿泰 的帖子

加分就写;d:

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发表于 2009-1-11 17:09:52 |只看该作者

回复 #327 chineselady 的帖子

好吧:rolleyes:
法律阿泰: http://www.weibo.com/5820884819/ 第一时间的海外法学院申请, NGO实习及各种学术会议信息

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发表于 2009-1-11 19:17:50 |只看该作者

好心的版主,能帮我改改我的烂作文吗~~哎~~我的作文怎么才能提高点呢~~~

Do you agree or disagree :high schools should allow students to study the courses that students want to study?
Whether students should choose courses themselves is a prevalent topic undergoing serious debate. After pondering it from several aspects, I totally agree it is true that high school students should be eligible for deciding which courses to learn. There are numerous reasons why I hold confidence on this opinion, and I would explore only a few rudimental ones here.
To begin with, the classes chose by students are associated with their interesting, which enable them to study joyfully and assiduously. A small example can give some light on this point. When I was a student in senior school,magical chemical changes attract me so tightly that I like this course very much. I spent a lot of time on this subject and I never felt tired when studying it. As a result,I awaly got a high score and finally got the allowance for an university majored in chemical. So students can make their choice towards their real liking rather than all the courses which include ones disgusted and time-wasted for them.
There is another factor that deserves some words. Students can develop a trait of self-learning from this way of learning. Suppose they have no right to learn what they want and are compelled following other people arrangement, they would be accustomed to this acquiring knowledge mode and consequenctly there is no positive initiativion for study in the long run. Self-motivation ability in acquiring new information, however, is the basic characteristic for those who want to successed in the further.
In addtion, everyone’ energy is limited, which allows them to focus only on a few fields. It is wise that a person decide his research field when he is a young man. Of course, as a high school student, he may choose classes improperly and unreasonably. Nothertheless, everything has two sides. I believe from the deciding process people will learn how to make an effective and pragmatic decision and take the relative responsibility also.
In a word,I strongly agree with the opinion that high schools should allow students to study the courses that they want to study based on the disscussion above.
如果那一天我想去敬佩一个人,那我就去照照镜子! 

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发表于 2009-1-11 23:53:50 |只看该作者

回复 #323 chineselady 的帖子

1,你文章的总体脉络还是很清晰的,但是第二段写的实在不敢恭维……在第二段中,你选的例子非常不好,谁告诉你abortion在美国人看来就可以接受?谁告诉你好莱坞传播的这个观点?这种空洞,没有事实依据,又违背常理的例子,在考试中很容易就被抹杀了……
2,长句子太多,几乎是一句连着一句……看的人很难受,再重申一下,作文的好坏和句子的长短没有关系,你写一大堆长句子什么也说明不了,唯一的作用是使评卷人心情不好。
总体:这次的文章脉络还是很清晰的,但是离你发挥最好的时候的水平还是有一定距离。你的例子是最大的问题,如果你马上要考试了,认真总结一下离子把,你文章中的例子不是不能围绕中心句写就是太空洞,今天又出现了这中很具争议的句子。25分是个坎,努努力应该会达到把。但要看你发挥了……

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发表于 2009-1-12 00:16:29 |只看该作者

回复 #329 churchill87426 的帖子

模板文章……你的文章我就不一段一段分析了,因为大体上都是一样的模式,换了句子而已。
你的文章属与中等,托福考试大概也就是20分左右,好一点能到22,坏一点也低不过18分。文章套用模板写的,模板痕迹太明显。对离子的描述很好,可是有一些太拖沓……整篇文章的感觉就是太空洞,写的东西不少,但是却没什么内容。你文章中的议论性质的句子太少,读起来给人感觉你不能够很好的用一些句子论证观点,所以花了好长的篇副在离子上,像是凑字数……你的长句子还可以,至少意思表达清楚了,但是记住,长句子最好写在文章或者段落的中间。不要写的太靠前或者太靠后。
文章中有一写语法问题,但是我不该语法,所以就不给你指出了……

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发表于 2009-1-12 00:17:19 |只看该作者

回复 #327 chineselady 的帖子

都来勒索斑竹了……

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发表于 2009-1-12 00:18:55 |只看该作者

回复 #328 阿泰 的帖子

版主,为什么我的章子这么不好看……感觉像个路边小花一样……:o :confused:

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RE: 考完托福了,跟大家分享一下有帮助的网站(响应版主号召,本帖现在开始为大家改作文) [修改]

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考完托福了,跟大家分享一下有帮助的网站(响应版主号召,本帖现在开始为大家改作文)
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