Argument53 【0906G 文以载道三月四月小组】 第二周第一次作业 by susanner

susannerUID: 2209224

【Argument53】
Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
13年前，研究者研究了一组在受到不熟悉的刺激比如不寻常的气味和未知声音的录音时表现出轻微紧张的25名婴儿。他们发现这些婴儿比其他婴儿更可能在早秋怀孕，而早秋是他们的母亲分泌的melatonin--一种已知会影响一些大脑功能的荷尔蒙--因日照的减少而增加的季节。在今年早些时候所作的跟踪调查中，这些表现出紧张迹象的儿童--现在已经是十几岁--有一半以上认为自己害羞。显然，出生前melatonin的增加导致婴儿期的羞涩并且这种羞涩将延续至生命更晚的阶段
【作者思路分析】
结论:  出生前某素的含量高导致婴儿害羞，并且这种害羞会继续
论据：1.研究者在13年前对25个对陌生刺激表现敏感的婴儿进行了研究，发现他们比其他婴儿更多地在秋季怀上
           2.秋季母亲体内的影响大脑功能的某素产量会因为日光的下降而天然上升
      3.跟踪调查发现现在他们大部分都认为自己很害羞
【提纲】（英文或中文）   
   1.对婴儿的研究数量少，缺乏代表性。
   2.研究没有与其他组对比，不能说明出生在秋的婴儿更容易表现出紧张，很可能不论何时出生，婴儿都会表现出轻微紧张，从而不能表明表现出紧张与某素有关。
   3.即使紧张，也不一定是出于shy，而是出于环境变了身体不适。也不能表明shy与某素有关。   
   4.即使是出于shy，也不能表明原因是某素，因为论者没有提供任何对某素的科学研究，以说明某素的功能或是作用是什么。论者甚至没有提供资料证明某素是否会对婴儿产生影响。虽然论者说某素是一种对某些大脑功能有影响的荷尔蒙，但并没有告诉我们这种影响是对母亲，还是对胎儿,这样将不能证明论断的前提，某素高含量将导致婴儿shy。
   5.后面的调查缺乏可靠性，多于half，不算多。另外是调查者自己认为自己shy，是否真的shy不清楚。
   6. 显然性格的形成有很多原因，后天的环境与经历也非常重要

【正文】
The author concludes that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life . To support the conclusion, the author cites a research in which 25 infants showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli. The author also cites a follow-up study which shows more than half of these children identify themselves as shy after they grow up. I find the argument logically unconvincing in several respects.

First of all, a threshold problem with the argument involves the validity of the research of which the sample is too limited.The number of the participants of the reserch is insignificant and lack of validity , thus the research could not lend strong support to the author's conclusion. Whether most of the infants, or large portions of infants conceived in early autumn have the same symptom is open to doubt, in which case, the reserch  is unlikely to have any effect on getting the conclusion.
Secondly，without any comparison with the corresponding group of infants born in other seasons ,no mater what behaviors the researched group has, the validness of the conclusion is under doubt.
Thirdly, according to the statement, the conclusion relies on what might be a faulse analogy between  mild distress and shyness.According to common sense, such distress is very likely to be out of instincts of self-protecting instead of the consequences of melatonin.
Fourthly, the survey does not provide complete information concerning the effect of melatonin.No evidence could indicate that melatonin increased  in mothers will lead to the increasement in their babies let alone will cause the infants' shyness.
Fifthly，the figure in the follow-up study -- more than 1/2 --will not suffice the conclusion in the sense of statistics.
Finally，without further in-depth analysis to rule out other factors which might contribute to the result of the follow-up study, I cannot accept the conclusion it is due to M. According to common knowledge, people’s character, to a large extend, should attribute to the milieu in which he or she grew up. The author should consider all the factors that can affect a child’s character before he makes the conclusion.

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it the argument must show--perhaps by way of a reliable study--that there is a cause-and-effect relationship between melatonin and the reactions of infants.To better assess the argument, the author also need to conduct a research of the specific function of the melatonin , and the factors which might affect the characters of participants.



[ 本帖最后由 susanner 于 2009-1-18 16:49 编辑 ]

colettUID: 2463706

The author concludes that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life . To support the conclusion, the author cites a research in which 25 infants showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli. The author also cites a follow-up study which shows more than half of these children identify themselves as shy after they grow up. I find the argument logically unconvincing in several respects. First of all, a threshold problem with the argument involves the validity of the research of which(此处想表达因果关系吧，用for或because是否好些） the sample is too limited.The number of the participants of the reserch is insignificant and lack of validity（重要并缺乏有效性？有歧义）, thus the research could not lend strong support to the author's conclusion. Whether most of the infants, or large portions of（重复or强调） infants conceived in early autumn have the same symptom is open to doubt, in which case, the reserch is unlikely to have any effect on getting the conclusion. Secondly，without any comparison with the corresponding group of infants born in other seasons ,no mater what behaviors the researched group has, the validness of the conclusion is under doubt. （这句逻辑连接总觉得不好，可是我也不会改）Thirdly, according to the statement, the conclusion relies on what might be a faulse analogy between mild distress and shyness.According to common sense, such distress is very likely to be out of instincts of self-protecting instead of the consequences of melatonin. Fourthly, the survey does not provide complete information concerning the effect of melatonin.No evidence could indicate that melatonin increased in mothers will lead to the increasement in their babies let alone will cause the infants' shyness.（good！） Fifthly，the figure in the follow-up study -- more than 1/2 --will not suffice the conclusion in the sense of statistics. Finally，without further in-depth analysis to rule out other factors which might contribute to the result of the follow-up study, I cannot（语气过硬？could？） accept the conclusion it（是否该删掉） is due to M. According to common knowledge, people’s character, to a large extend, should attribute to the milieu（还整了个old French，有点过了:loveliness: ） in which he or she grew up. The author should consider all the factors that can affect a child’s character before he makes the conclusion. In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it the argument must show（文章怎么秀？应该composer？）--perhaps by way of（可以这么用？） a reliable study--that there is a cause-and-effect relationship between melatonin and the reactions of infants.To better assess the argument, the author also need to conduct a research of the specific function of the melatonin , and the factors which might affect the characters of participants.
组长的英语功底扎实，gre词汇量也很大（都会法语:lol ），看来平时狠下功夫，比我强多了。但是我有点小建议，arguement是不是不用分这么多条啊，三条就够，四百字左右支撑不了这么多论点，弄多了就不深刻了，就好象又把题目抄了一遍，然后一句一句的判断对错一样，您能明白吧？我看的北美上是这么说的

ukcolourUID: 2444553

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-911529-1-1.html
很抱歉，懒惰的我点评也迟到了。。。