【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】3月6号作业 by pln

plnUID: 2453006

Agree or disagree: Teachers should be paid at least as much as doctors, lawyers or business leaders are paid

Word: 377

Generally, people are paid differently by their contribution to the society. Because doctors, lawyers and business leaders play an important role in healthy society, they definitely deserve to get more. Compared with them, one group thinks that teachers should be paid at least equally, while another group believes that teachers should not deserve to get the same money. After considering carefully, I agree with the point that teachers should be paid as much as others even get more than those. And I will illustrate my opinions with following reasons.

To begin with, unlike other occupations, teachers play a significant role in our society. Not only can they impart knowledge to students, but also they can teach students how to be a human. For children, teachers are as much important as their parents because they can affect children in many aspects. For example, I can never forget one of my teachers in the Middle School who tell me that honest is the best policy. And I always follow it in my life which let me respected by my friends and families. Compared with doctors, lawyers and business leaders who make obviously practical meanings to society, effect by teachers to people may last for a long time even the whole life. In a word, people should not ignore the potential and lasting effect by teachers.

Another aspect is that teachers are necessary for everyone. Few would disagree with the point that everyone needs teachers, even the great scientists. Because learning by themselves is far from enough, people have to get knowledge from others. Furthermore, as human being, people need to learn a lot in many aspects. At this time, teachers are the first and best choice because of their systematic and logical knowledge. They can help students acquire knowledge in a short time. For instance, Albert Einstein, as a famous physical scientist, also had many teachers who teach laws merits and so forth. In short, it is necessary for everyone to learn from teachers.

In a sum, I believe that teachers should not be paid less than others such as doctors, lawyers and bosses. Because people benefit from teachers a lot which even can affect their whole lives. And the necessity of their existence cannot be overlooked by everyone.



谢谢~

frank_chowUID: 2524907

占楼支持楼主一个~~~~

plnUID: 2453006

谢谢，我作文两次都是20，其实似乎我没有必要考第三次了，但是我觉得还是想超越一下自己，因为战胜自己最困难的

roinyouUID: 2447501

文章结构比较和观点都表达地比较明确。
论据上面我觉得有个缺陷，第一个论据说教师很重要，但是没有提到需要给予更多的工资，来鼓励他们。还有第二点也是，要是能说明提高待遇和重要之间的联系就更好，解释的更详细了。最后我觉得第一点和第二点似乎有一点点相似。呵呵。最后，祝你三战成功！
Generally, people are paid differently by their contribution to the society. Because doctors, lawyers and business leaders play an important role in healthy society(在健康的社会发挥作用？把healthy去除会好点), they definitely deserve to get more. Compared with them, one group thinks that teachers should be paid at least equally, while another group believes that teachers should not deserve to get the same money. After considering carefully, I agree with the point that teachers should be paid as much as others even get more than those. And I will illustrate my opinions with following reasons.7 _* ]3 m4 Q5 i4 `6 S4 P7 L

To begin with, unlike other occupations, teachers play a significant role in our society. Not only can they impart knowledge to students, but also they can teach students how to be a human. For children, teachers are as much important as their parents because they can affect children in many aspects. For example, I can never forget one of my teachers in the Middle School who tell me that honest is the best policy. And I always follow it（前面主语宾语都没有it） in my life which let me respected（被尊重似乎要个be吧） by my friends and families. Compared with doctors, lawyers and business leaders who make obviously practical meanings to society, effect by teachers to people may last for a long time even the whole life. In a word, people should not ignore the potential and lasting effect by teachers.

R* p% E
Another aspect is that teachers are necessary for everyone. Few would disagree with the point that everyone needs teachers, even the great scientists. Because learning by themselves is far from enough, people have to get knowledge from others. Furthermore, as human being, people need to learn a lot in many aspects. At this time, teachers are the first and best choice because of their systematic and logical knowledge. They can help students acquire knowledge in a short time. For instance, Albert Einstein, as a famous physical scientist, also had many teachers who teach laws merits and so forth. In short, it is necessary for everyone to learn from teachers.& i2 s+ |5 G& D

In a sum, I believe that teachers should not be paid less than others such as doctors, lawyers and bosses. Because people benefit from teachers a lot which even can affect their whole lives. And the necessity of their existence cannot be overlooked by everyone.+ o' y*

nirvanahmjUID: 2534352

Generally, people are paid differently by their contribution to the society. Because doctors, lawyers and business leaders play an important role [important roles] in healthy society, they definitely deserve to get more. Compared with them, one group thinks [think] that teachers should be paid at least equally, while another group believes that teachers should not deserve to get [should not get] the same money. After considering carefully, I agree with the point that teachers should be paid as much as others [or] even get more than those. And I will illustrate my opinions with [the] following reasons.

To begin with, unlike other occupations, teachers play a significant role in our society. Not only can they impart knowledge to students, but also they can teach students how to be a human. [这句话过于白了吧？这个human不对哈，说什么moral啥的比较好吧] For children, teachers are as much important as their parents because they can affect children in many aspects. For example, I can never forget one of my teachers in the Middle School who tell [told] me that honest is the best policy. And I always follow it in my life which let me [be] respected by my friends and families. Compared with doctors, lawyers and business leaders who make obviously practical meanings to society, effect by teachers to people may last for a long time even the whole life. In a word, people should not ignore the potential and lasting effect by teachers.

Another aspect is that teachers are necessary for everyone. Few would disagree with the point that everyone needs teachers, even the great scientists. Because learning by themselves is far from enough, people have to get knowledge from others. Furthermore, as human being, people need to learn a lot in many aspects. At this time, teachers are the first and best choice because of their systematic and logical knowledge. They can help students acquire knowledge in a short time. For instance, Albert Einstein, as a famous physical scientist, also had many teachers who teach laws merits and so forth. In short, it is necessary for everyone to learn from teachers. [这个推断不成立吧？从别人身上学习不代表那个人的职业是老师啊]

In a sum, I believe that teachers should not be paid less than others such as doctors, lawyers and bosses. Because people benefit from teachers a lot which even can affect their whole lives. And the necessity of their existence cannot be overlooked by everyone [anyone].
话说您的语法着实纠结了点，写的时候注意点哈！还有一共四段是不是短了点？再然后您的论证只是证明了老师很重要，就没钱什么事啊？您最好再补上点和给工资有关的，比如说老师对社会作用很大，所以我们要给他们高工资来表达对他们工作的感谢啥的。