ISSUE DIY四部曲（自己动手，高分无忧）－记准确＋修改铺＋珍藏资料

comorainUID: 192455

8# justdoit!

TOPIC: ISSUE7 - "The video camera provides such an accurate andconvincing record of contemporary life that it has become a moreimportant form of documentation than written records."
WORDS: 477          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009-4-20 16:53:34

In my opinion, although the video camera may have its merits in someaspects, it cannot replace the position of written documentation. Thebest way to record the cherished (cherishable?cherishing?反正不能用这个，比如你可以说a interesting book，但不能说a interested book) memories should be the combination ofthe two types. Moreover, from the speaker's assertion can we find thetrend, popular among our current culture, that today's people place toomuch emphasis on the modern tools, while ignoring the importance of thetraditional essence.

首段：很简洁，不错。问题是哪一句thesis statement？Moreover后面的引申可能有些过火，等我看完再评论。

On one hand, the video camera has it advantages, particular in theaccurate respects（改为particularly in terms of accuracy）. Due to its prefect recording function, many peopleprefer using it to record their unforgettable memories. For example,through the video records can we recall the happy times through themotion pictures（两个through说得都是一个方式！去一个吧）. In the breathtaking basketball game record, we canenjoy the visual feat, that the famous basketball player, Kobe shoot（shot）the key point at the last second. How possible it can be represented inthe written records?（这是一个病句：How is it possilbe...；represent的意思很虚，不知道你要表达什么，换个具体的词） If there is not the video camera to record thislast shoot in details, we cannot appreciate the wonderful moment.However, at the same time, the written documentation can also represent （depict）and convey the （去掉the）richer meanings in different ways. Since our humans areintelligent animals, we can absorb（assimilate） the information from the writtendocumentation depending on our own experience and knowledge. Forexample, from a fiction, we can learn from the attractive plots andimagine the distinctive characters of the heroes in the stories throughthe written “magic words”. From the letter sent by the love ones（意思有些模糊，没看懂，需要修改：from the loving couple's lines, line表示台词） can webe moved by the personal content （什么意思？）and understand the real nature oflove. Hence, the written documentation and the video camera record areboth indispensable and important for our people.

第二段：语言上表达还算清晰，就是简单句太多了。内容上问题有：1、 the video camera has it advantages, particular in theaccurate respects和however, the written documentation can also representand convey the richer meanings in different ways对比不是很明显，说的是两码事，所以不要用also；2、选取的例子都没有问题，但要突出对比，比如篮球比赛的最后一投为什么V比W更精确，需要交待清楚；3、段尾的结论不恰当，从上面的对比得不出both indispensable。

On the other hand, considering（逻辑主语不一致，改为：when we consider） the subject nature of the writtendocumentation, the video camera can also provide more convincingevidence than the former, especially in the process of fighting againstthe crime. As we know, in many shops and banks, there are video camerasset in the necessary location to oversee and prevent the potentialcrime, and furthermore, in the court, the video records are also themost common evidence provided by police. Nonetheless, the writtendocumentation can has its special value in some important documents.For instance, many contrasts and some legal documents are recorded inthe written styles. It is the authority of the written record thatdetermines that the video cameras cannot be used, at least in thistime.

第三段：1、两个例子都是一个主题，显得与主题句相矛盾。一个支持V，一个支持W，而且都是关于法律的。最好能换一下。2、convincing的意思是令人信服，而你的第一个例子没法证明这一点。

Further in the analysis of this issue, the assertion manifests today'spopular cultural trend that people overlook the necessity andimportance of the traditional essence, just as the written records. Thereason for this phenomenon may be interpreted by the inherent nature ofhuman beings, that is, the wish to the new matters. Faced with thisproblem, we should absorb the merits of the traditional essence andmake them fusion with the modern advanced inventions.

第四段：果然，这个引申没多大意思。如果你说“结合两者更好”，然后改一下这段话，作为理由，倒还可以。

In summary, we should take balance between the video camera and thewritten records to achieve the most effective and efficient recordingmethods, and take the proper view and attitude to this traditional andmodern issue.

总评：你已掌握英文写作的结构，语言表达能力较强，对more类型的题目有一定的认识。但这篇习作没能很好地驾驭“平衡观点” ，段内结构也有些松散。

建议：1、看看官方范文中specialists vs. generalists那篇6分的，学习一下它是怎么论证balance的；
         2、看看https://bbs.gter.net/thread-941249-2-1.html。其中有我与米饭袜子对此题的讨论，她的问题跟你的差不多；
         3、看看https://bbs.gter.net/thread-943741-1-1.html，其中有我草拟的Issue7的提纲（你在页面搜一下就出来了）。

GOOD LUCK！

comorainUID: 192455

14# zfzfzfzfln

先答疑。

LZ，我想问一下：
1）这篇还没看你的专题时候写的，思路并不太好。如果这样写，有什么值得注意的

等一会儿看完再说。

2）素材的使用：有时候我通篇都没有素材，相背一两个，却感觉没什么用。一个没素材的文章，分数应该不会太高吧...

个人看法：不见得，理由论证充分也足以得到4分甚至5分。


题目：ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destinyof society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raisechildren who can help bring about a better society."
字数：715          用时：00:45:00          日期：2009-4-16 10:03:45

Does how children are socialized today determine the society's future?In response to this issue, we need to analyse the proposition from thedialectic perspective comprehensivly, investigating the nature of thetruth by critical analyses of concepts and hypothenses. The authordeclears so and we have not yet learned how to raise children toconstruct a better society. However, it oversimplifies this issue. Thefinal judgment, in my point of view, should depends on a case-by-caseanalyses.

首段：全是空话套话，你需要有自己的thesis statement。

First and foremost, children's degree of socialization can bring abouta myriad of merits. Socialization, as an significant ability of oneperson, includes the communication ability, adaption ability of societyand so on. In the highly rapid development of society, people areconfused with more and more trifles so that they ignore thecommunication with others and their places in a society. A person whohas more socialization can communicate with others more happily andeasily and get more success than others. Socialization pose a positiveand profound influence on both society and person. At the social level,socialization help people consturct a value system in which people cancommunicate with others efficiently and learn about the duty in thesociety. Once people know the value of socialization, people cantogether make a better society. There is a popular consensus that moresocialization, more harmony. At the personal level, socialization giveone, who has it well, more opportunities to success than others. And aperson can know he/she need to  take more responsibility with his/herliability of the society. From the discussion above, we can know thesocialization can make a better society.

第二段：1、理由论证没问题，但结构要清晰，你可以用firstly、secondly等将支持主题句的理由分开；2、最后一句与下一段第一句有些矛盾，让步要留有余地，不然后面的转折句没法说，你可以加上to some extent等程度词，使其立场进一步弱化。

However, the socialization can't determine the destiny of society. Thesocialization is the factor for a better society but not the only one.There are many other factors that can lead to a better future ofsociety such as technology, art, culture, politics and so on.Technology make people more convenient and effective; Knowledge helppeople explore the nature of the world; Art lead people to a highermoral level; Culture offer a brilliant treasure for people. Inaddition, actually other factor mentioned above and socializitiontogether determine the destiny of society. Ethics and morality, scienceand technology, art and literature, politics and culture, togethercontribute to the future of society. And the attitudes for themdirectly imply the way of future. Thus a good attitudes make people andsociety develop well; In turn, a bad attitudes lead to a stagnancy ofsociety, even a failure or depression. The significant of socializationhas shown to us evidently.

第三段：1、可以把简单句组合成复杂句，展现驾驭语言的能力，如前三句可以改成：The socialization of children, however, can not determine the destiny of society, because it is only one influential factor--many other factors, such as technology, art, culture, politics and so on, can also contribute to  a better society. 2、总结句不好，这里应该强调其它因素的重要性，而不是socialization的重要性。

We must concede that education indeed lacks of（去掉of） the（去掉） effective ways ofteaching children socializaition（to be socialized）. In the past, the ignorance ofsocialization lead to more defects and demerits of society. Forexample, some persons feel that they can't find out the sense ofbelonging and scared about surrounding things. And other persons can'tget happiness and achievement from the society in which they live. Thatis to say（Therefore）, we need to find and explore new methods to teach children tobuild a better society not only for the development of society but alsofor the future. Firstly, we can add some teaching ways of educationfrom the theory to the practice. So, the students can receive the morepractice before they formally walk into the society. Secondly, we canreform the education system to adapt the constant development ofsociety. For example, teachers can put their more attentions to thepractice of the knowledge and lessons of practice can be offered. Lastbut not least, the attitude and opinion for the education need to bechanged and taken focus on by common people and society. The threepoints are the crucial and critical actions to improve thesocialization of children.

第四段：这一段没什么大问题。

From the analysis above, I strongly commit to the notion that we needto understand the balance between socialization and development ofsociety. The relationship is a crucial point to solve the currentproblems. At the same time, we can not emphasize the significant ofsocialization for the reason that we are confronted with many problemswhich the lack of socialization causes. In a word, If we get a balancebetween them, we can wish a prosperous and thriving future for not onlyourselves but also our descendants.

末段：总结与上文似乎并不一致：从前三段的主题句来看，根本就没有提balance的事情。

总评：语言上，你已掌握英文写作的结构，语言表达能力较强。应该注意的问题是：1、全文要有thesis statement，一句话，但足以概括全文意思；2、段内论证结构一定要清晰，适当地用一些信号词；3、末段的总结要与上文一致，不要冒出新观点。

最后一天了，对你的建议是：1、再看几遍高频前30提纲；2、复习写过的习作，重点背诵核心观点和不熟悉或经常出错的单词；3、好好休息，养精蓄锐。

GOOD LUCK！

comorainUID: 192455

快齐活了，就等38楼、88楼了。

justdoit!UID: 2533175

comorain 真的谢谢你的修改，我明天就要考了，经过这20多天的备考，我的作文之路可以说是坎坷的，先是跟风的乱写，后来嫌自己的语言不好又去翻译北美，最后又想写点自己的东西，到头来什么都没坚持下去，什么都做的不好，唉。。。

justdoit!UID: 2533175

considering（逻辑主语不一致，改为：when we consider）

我觉得这里considering是用作介词的

comorainUID: 192455

我觉得这里considering是用作介词的
justdoit! 发表于 2009-4-21 09:18

这里是我看错了，不过我是从语感上觉得不对劲的。cosidering作为介词，意思是“考虑到”，细细看一下你的句子：

considering thesubject nature of the written documentation, the video camera can alsoprovide more convincing evidence than the former, especially in theprocess of fighting againstthe crime.

简单说就是：

考虑到W的性质，V如何如何。

这样的句子在形式上没问题，但在逻辑上有问题。因为我们一般说：“考虑到A的某性质，A如何如何”，而不是“考虑到A的某性质，B如何如何”。

例句：Considering he's only just started, he knows quite a lot about it.

comorainUID: 192455

四、记准确——过程是艰辛的，结果是愉快的

3、上述“抽奖”规则一周之内有效，也就是说，截止4月26日如果没有出现积极讨论的版友，同时本帖没有回复到38楼、88楼，则本人不会修改任何习作； ...
comorain 发表于 2009-4-19 23:44

Game over.

i2000sUID: 2108019

很伤心
真的很伤心……
lz加油！好好考6G吧！

i2000sUID: 2108019

22# comorain
这是我改了四次的处子作，也算是我写的最靠前的高频的作文了。
感谢lz一回来就想到我了。
God Bless U.

ISSUE 99
In any realm of life-whether academic, social, business, or political-the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more immediate options.



If you were a scientist, what should be your blueprint about the next experience? If you were a politician, how would you prepare your speech? And how would you, now a boss, start a business? Or what scene would you, if an artist, hold before drawing your first line on your canvas? Everyone wants to success, while viewpoints before any action, tending to be practical or theoretical, decide your position of starting line and speed in the ruthless race.  Success comes easier when you combine the merits of both types of views. Further, it comes faster when you order them appropriately.

Admittedly，Man lives on the feet of reality. Reality notices you how many and what kinds of the bricks you've owned to pave your road leading to the success. When Edison, one of the greatest inventers in history, lightened his first bulb, he just used the usual materials at hand, not the rare earth materials, now proofed better but so hard to refine, which take scientists worldwide more than a century to certificate. Reality releases your aimless rashness and tells you how you can get to the target from the very condition at the stage. When Washington won the first President in America history, actually, his concerns didn't deviate from the folks' practical needs and the actual conditions at that time which earned him the public confidence and moved US standing up to win. Countless big potatoes in all kinds of careers win their honors with holding the practical viewpoints that root in reality solidly. Do pragmatic viewpoints save you all the time?

In fact, ideal thoughts cost less time for not having to consider more factors than practical ones do. The more severely the views are idealized, the deeper people touched by them. When Martin Luther King, the hero of black American, gathered his supporters and won the revolution, he emphasized the common dream born in black people's hearts, rather than first on the how-to-do and necessarily concomitant compromises. More importantly, the simplified views accelerate the process of planning and operating much more effectively than those of trapping oneself into some unnecessary worries about the actuality. Bill Gates, the richest man in the world nowadays, started his Microsoft corporate only driven by a simple ideal that every family should own a personal computer, and conceived the plan simply from the DOS operating system without supporting a colorful screen and even mouse which is extremely prevailing at present. Similarly, a painter may merely hold the outline of somebody who's about to be drawn in the canvas, in comparison to much more details at first glance.

Now we're arriving at the crux: What's the starting line of a competition before actions, to be it a complex plan that may take you wandering a long period to examine almost every factor of reality, or only to be it a simple skeleton that only contains some basic perspectives and leaving much room to be filled out after you set out? As we all know, a line between two points make the shortest distance. This is also steadfast when come to the topic of success. That is to say, first employ the ideal views to define your beginning and terminate points, and the best way linking them with your knowledge acquired. Then consider the key practical factors that may impede your processes and detail your plans. The rest work is to constantly deal with the bugs when moving on. So as the tenet people holding, "The complex world maybe run under some simplest principles", why not to simplify your viewpoints under reality?  

Success is a direct result of a series of actions ordered well enough after a series of considerations in a limited period. A good, or easily attainable, beginning is a half of success, while the other part should be done with weighting significant amounts of more complex and practical details after that. The ideal plan with considering some basic practical factors make it easy to begin the race at a high velocity. Only organize both the idealistic and practical views seemly, will the success occur in our sights timely.

i2000sUID: 2108019

第二篇。需要大量压缩。。。这个我要跟你学学  呵呵

013 Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.     
昨天写的。

"At lest half of the total more than 6000 human languages in the world", said by Min Bista, an officer of United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) in the 10th International Mother Language Day annual meeting, "are facing extinction. And recent study suggests that 90% human languages will disappear in the planet by the year of 2050." As most people do, I sincerely agree that it's time for governments to do something to prevent the world's disappearing languages from extinction.

Irreversibly, if language disappears, so will the national culture and thoughts, both of which are all based on it. The first list, things in which will unavoidably disappear in abreast of the language extinction, may include folk stories, fairy tale, hero sagas, fables, rhythmic poems, folk music, riddles, drama, as well as the history of ethnic groups, frequently passed down by generations in their own language, especially in oral formation, all of which severely dependent on the language transmitting them. Characterized rituals and national thoughts system will also vanish, which may ultimately lead to the degeneration and monotony of human society and human minds. Hence we can borrow less and less inspiration of social development from the gradually weakened cultural diversity, and may never repeat the gloriously cultural prosperity and rapidly developing times as Roman Empire who had learnt much from Greece, as Arab Empire who had referenced much from Roman, as medieval Europe who had simulated much from Arab, or as the Renaissance Europe who had exemplified much from the Byzantine Empire.

In fact, advancement of society indeed intensifies the assimilation of ethnic groups and languages. In the expansive Empire times, Britain, French, Spanish, Portugal and other wealthy empires not only brought their advanced technologies to the colony, but also transfused the aboriginals with the empire's cultural ideals and languages, which accelerated the extinction of indigenous language and culture. When history brands its footprints onto the early morning of the 21st century, here comes the overwhelming globalization, which urges no less than before seeking the universal language to facilitate the transaction in the global market. More and more indigenous people are wallowed into the economic society and learning official language, or even abandoning their mother tongue to pursue better livehood. We cannot stop the formed tide of English learning all over the world, but we should respect deeply into the cause of language extinction to call for a halt of culture monotony trend.

The decreasing number of people speak the less-known language may be only a superficial phenomena of language extinction, some profound forces, be it internal or external, actually compel the process marching on and on. Along with the globalization mentioned above, especially the popularization of internet and cell phones, as well as the increasing mobility of population, inevitably expands the opportunity of mutual communication among various kinds of people, in which the minority people may found severe discrimination and seclusion and hence may feel sham and unnecessary to speak their own ethnic language in public occasions. This may be easier happened to young people than the senior ones, the former of who have eager desire of equality in daily lives and the strong ability to learn new languages. Such force is unremittingly pushing the young generation to give up their mother language and hence turns out with fewer and fewer people speaking it after several generations. A vivid example can be token to the Manchu that belongs to an used popular language in Qing Dynasty of China, 200 year ago, but now an in danger language with only less than 1000 people speak it, most of which is senior people, and the number of the nationality should speak it is now more than 10 million. What a large contrast between the numbers! And by far, India and the United States of America, both of which are believed with the most disequilibrium nationality developments, have become the top two countries with the largest number of in danger languages in the world. How can we halt the trend of the language extinction?

What the governments of the countries in which these dying out languages are spoken should not only focus their sights onto persuading more people to speak the language in danger, but also should onto protecting the culture diversity, providing equal development opportunities to the indigenous peoples, and emphasizing favorable policies on the younger people, for only all of them carried on as a whole can prevent more languages from extinction fundamentally. Bilingual educations should be popularized in young generation of the minority peoples. Websites, cell phones, public signs in diverse languages should also be designed comprehensively. Policies emphasized on ethnic equality should be carried on firmly. Measurements, such as cultural tour, to enlarge indigenous people's income should be intensified. Even more, researches on national language, culture and multiple languages automatic translator should also be financially supported much more than before. So as the UNESCO set the February 21st as the International Mother Language Day ten years ago, I believes, with several years' practical collaboration of governments all around the world, we can undoubtedly prevent more languages from sliding into danger.

comorainUID: 192455

24# i2000s

ISSUE 99
In any realm of life-whether academic, social, business,or political-the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than anidealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more immediate options.


If you were ascientist, what should be your blueprint about the next experience （experiment？）?If you were a politician, how would you prepare your speech? And how would you,now a boss （宜为merchant，boss含义很广，连大学老师不也成了boss吗）,start a (加new)
business? Orwhat scene would you, if an artist, hold before drawing （limning/sketching/painting均比这个词好，达意之外更要强调细节，这样才能形象生动） your first line on your canvas? Everyone wants to success, while viewpoints before any action, tending to be practical or theoretical（theoretical不等于idealistic）,decide your position of starting line and speed in the ruthless race. （这一句整体上不紧凑，一是没有与上文很好地衔接；二是两个分句从英文语感上看不出任何对比或转折关系；三是重要的内容放在了插入语，容易让读者忽视。此外，这一句也不达意，decide到底有何内涵？可考虑改为：Diversified as your answers to these questions, they can be generally classified into two categories of viewpoints before action: the pragmatic and the idealistic.后面的直接删掉即可。） Success comes easier when you combinethe merits of both types of views. Further, it comes faster when you order them appropriately.

点评：开篇四个问句非常拖沓，而且没有多大的必要；结构上不是很紧凑，句子之间有汉语的“意会”式脱节；thesis statement不是很切题，也没有提示或限制下文论证方向。

Admittedly，Man lives on the feet of reality. Reality notices youhow many and what kinds of the bricks you've owned to pave your road leading（删掉，纯粹是累赘） to the success. When Edison, one of thegreatest inventers（inventors） in history, lightened（这个动词与下文的语境不一致，lighten是“使发光”的意思，下文内容说明此处应用“发明、制作”之类的词）

his first bulb, he just used the usual materials at hand, not the rareearth materials, now proofed better but so hard to refine, which take scientists worldwide more than a century to certificate.（整个句子是病句，原因出在分隔上面，层次不清。可改为：... he just used the usualmaterials at hand, rather than the rare earth materials which were better forlighting but harder to refine at that time. 如果再加一句评论岂不更好：If Edison aimed at the idealistic inventionin the very beginning, the world might have thirsted for artificial light formore years.） Reality releases your aimless rashness andtells you how you can get to the target from the very condition at the stage.When Washington won the first President（presidency） in America（American，一般用USA，因前者还有“美洲”之意）
history, actually, his concerns didn'tdeviate from the folks' practical needs and the actual conditions at that time which earned him the public confidence and moved US standing up to win.（这样的例子太笼统——既不是特定的历史事件，又不是历史人物的独特经历，没有实质意义，因而论据作用非常有限） Countless big potatoes（口语词汇）in all kinds of careers win their honors with holding the practical viewpoints that root in reality solidly. Do pragmatic viewpoints save you all the time?（这一句的目的显然是想更好的与下段衔接，但你衔接起来了吗？与问题衔接的唯一方法是答案！）

点评：缺乏主题句，中心意思不明确。似乎想弄两个分论点，但在读者看来似乎同义重复。记住，阅卷人时间有限，没空逐字逐句地细看，你最好在段首突出主题，节省他们的时间。

In fact, ideal thoughts cost less time for not having to consider more factors than practicalones do. The more severely the views are idealized, the deeper people touched（什么意思？are moved?） by them. When Martin Luther King, the hero of blackAmerican, gathered his supporters and won the revolution, he emphasized thecommon dream born in black people's hearts, rather than first on（去掉on，first放到emphasized前） the how-to-do（这是一个固定用法吗？觉得很笼统）and necessarily concomitant compromises. Moreimportantly, the simplified views accelerate the process of planning andoperating much more effectively than those of trapping oneself into someunnecessary worries about the actuality.（这句意思有问题，比较级到底在比较什么？accelerate the process of planning and operatingmore effectively than accelerate the process of trapping oneself into worries?） Bill Gates, the richest man in the world nowadays（像这种东西，连中国人都知道，更别说ETS阅卷人了，没必要写。前面Edison、King也是一样）, started his Microsoft corporate onlydriven by （改为to pursue，或将only driven by放在前面做插入语）a simple ideal that every family should own a personal computer, andconceived the plan simply from the DOS operating system without supporting acolorful screen and even mouse which is extremely prevailing at present. （下半句也很绕啊）Similarly, a painter may merely hold（不理解你的确切意思） the outline of somebody who's about to bedrawn in the canvas, in comparison to much more details at first glance.（这个例子跟idealistic与practical没什么关系，“先轮廓后细节”不不仅不等于“先理想主义后实用主义”，反而可能搞反了）

点评：对比做得还不错，但例子的叙述很不精确。英语语言似乎跟不上中文思维，没能确切地表达出想表达的意思。

Now we're arrivingat the crux: What's the starting line of a competition before actions, to be it（to be it？）a complex plan that may take you wandering a long period to examine almostevery factor of reality, or only to be it a simple skeleton that only containssome basic perspectives and leaving much room to be filled out after you setout? As we all know, a line between two points make the shortest distance. Thisis also steadfast when come to the topic of success. That is to say, firstemploy the ideal views to define your beginning and terminate points, and thebest way linking them with your knowledge acquired. Then consider the keypractical factors that may impede your processes and detail your plans. Therest work is to constantly deal with the bugs when moving on. So as the tenetpeople holding（改为hold）, "The complex world maybe run under some simplest principles", why not to simplify your viewpoints underreality?  

点评：这段的比喻挺好，语言上还有些罗嗦。

Success is adirect result of a series of actions ordered well enough after a series of considerations in a limited period. A good, or easily attainable, beginning isa half of success, while the other part should be done with weightingsignificant amounts of more complex and practical details after that. The idealplan with (which) considering some basicpractical factors make (makes) it easy to begin the race at a high velocity. Only organize both the idealistic and practical views seemly, will the success occur in our sights timely.（病句：only by organizing...）

点评：这段你似乎是想强调order them appropriately，但作为末段不太合适。末段需要总结全文。

总评：总体上觉得思路比较乱，层次不清晰。很多时候将practical与reality、idealistic与simple混在一起，这显然是对题目的误解，足以致命！
例如：More importantly, the simplifiedviews...about the actuality.
A good,or easily attainable, beginning is a half of success, while the other partshould be done with weighting significant amounts of more complex and practicaldetails after that.

这道题其实讲的是“理想主义”和“实用主义”的对立，请看定义：

Idealistic:believing that you should live according to high standards and principles, even if they cannot really be achieved, or showing this belief

Pragmatic:dealing with problems in a sensible, practical way instead of strictly following a set of ideas

可见，idealistic与“high standards”、“principles”联系在一起，强调要求高；pragmatic与“sensible”、“practical”联系在一起，强调容易实现。

按照你写的要平衡，就得说清楚各有什么好处坏处，为什么要有序结合起来。然后把各段的中心思想写清楚，有逻辑的组织起来。这篇文章则没有很好的逻辑，各段的观点之间有一定的重合。

comorainUID: 192455

第二篇以后再说，等你有更多的进步。

comorainUID: 192455

全面修订完毕，提供pdf文件下载。

cixitomUID: 2610506

3Q 很感谢啊~~~虽然很多地方看不明白，但是对自己还是有提高的~再次感谢

cool1580UID: 2646378

good