Issue130 【四人行小组】第3次作业 小白

lsarahzUID: 2658685

TS1.孩子们的社会化确实决定着社会的命运
不仅要有知识，还要有social ability。学会与人相处和合作。EQ。
很难想象不融入社会（integrate into society）的人将有什么作为。
1.
不当的社会化还会导致高犯罪率等等。
TS2.既然社会化这么重要，现代的教育就应该努力培养和引导（主要是引导）这方面，现代的教育也确实在朝这方面努力。（more and more social practice, voluntary job, curriculum concerned）但这不是教育的最重要任务。知识的传播同样重要。
TS3.还有很多其他因素也许不能通过教育来传授，只能由孩子自己通过实践和思考获得。
E.G. personal conviction（confidence）, individual responsibility, and raw intelligence，
总的来说we have reasons to be optimistic about the future created by the outstanding children now.
CONC.社会化有影响，但不是决定性的---现代的教育在努力培养这方面，但也需要改进。其他的方面也有作用。总体来说有信心看到更美好的未来

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 540
TIME: 01:04:06
DATE: 2009/7/13 16:38:13

With the accelerated pace of life and (enhanced) communication all around the world, (the fact that) children are much easier to be socialized (may) leads to a more and more premature generation in not only the (development of) physique but also (that of) psychology. Since how (much degree that) children are socialized influences their opinions on this world, I consent to the idea that the socialization affects the destiny of society, but not(I disagree with the notion that socialization of children) determines (everything) as there are many other significant factors. Meanwhile, the education on it(earlier education) today deserves applause (although has its flaws). Even so, I still believe that the children will bring about a better society in the future with their self-improvement and what we teach them(根据提纲 最后两个概念可以换下位置 与下文呼应).

It is undoubted that socialization in(of) children plays a more important role in the contemporary society than any (other) time(s) in the history. (In modern society,) Efficient communication is needed while complex relationship between people has been created. Even children are coerced to learn to handle this(the complex relationship). It is indispensable for one to possess not only the knowledge but also social ability to get(keep) in touch with others(我觉得这句可以移动到下一句的后面下一句的 and 改成 since). And the high-speed society requires more and more cooperation and EQ. All those are formed(acquired) from the process of socialization which happens(impacts) on children. Through this, they(children) constitute their  concept about the world, the society, the value which (may) influences (and suggests) how (they改为to) bring about a new society (a lot去掉).

Since the great importance of the socialization on children(importance 可以换成 the crucial role that socialization has played on children), education should contribute to the process (as well). Fortunately, we have started. Many social practice programs out of the campus have been launched while(and) volunteers in young face can be seen around the city. But it is not enough yet. More and more meaningful activities should be supported and (be able to) attract more participants. However, the socialization brings negative effect as well when it comes to the increase(ing) rate of youth-crime. Thus (the去掉) reasonable extend and effective guidance (from xxx) is also necessary. With these improvements, we have reasons to look forward to a better society created by the (present) children (now改成 in the future).

Even though it has (an irreplaceable 改为some negative) effect, the socialization is still one of the crucial factors which determine the destiny of society together. Compared with the concrete theory or knowledge which is given by education, the confidence about the future and interest in gaining knowledge seems more important for a society to keep its vigor and motivation (good point!!). Additionally, whether the backbone of a society(, 这里插入一句说明一下比较好，) can keep its responsibility in mind determines how strong and cohesive the society is. All these characters (act改为coupled) with the socialization together to determine the destiny of society and they cannot be taught. To be honest, self-thinking and self-improvement contributes more to the form of confidence, responsibility, interest mentioned above than the lectures we give to children. After all, education cannot cover everything. Let the children practice, let them frustrate, let them think about the society and themselves, (and) then they will be(constitute) a strong generation.

To sum up, how children are socialized indeed matters a lot when we talk about the destiny of society. Considering this the education should pay more attention to guide and countenance the process with more activities and curriculums. However, over emphasis on socialization of children is unnecessary and even harmful. The smart choice is to provide proper opportunities and effective guidance for them to be socialized and then, let them create with self-thinking and competence. I do believe that they will bring about a better society.

(说说我的总体印象吧，因为确实和我的思路完全不同，采取的论证角度也不同。文章大体是按照提纲的结构写出的，意思也表述到了，但是看完稍有些摸不着头脑。我个人感觉（可能也受我自己文章的影响）在论证的过程中，逻辑的线稍显模糊，感觉比较明显的是论证段中会蹦出很多的概念和名词，socialization， education， communication， relationship， knowledge， cooperation， EQ， social activities， youth-crime， confidence， practice and frustrate 这些词的出现让人有应接不暇的感觉。

这就又说到一个我很疑惑的问题上了 希望小白能和我讨论下。 一个topic给出来，我们到底应该采取什么方式去怎么论证它。是俯瞰全局，还是具体再具体? 我在不同的题目上采用了不同的角度, 但是都不得要领,

因为俯瞰全局的写 会太过宽泛，不容易获得清晰的思路；而具体来写，虽然比较好下笔，但是容易顾此失彼，甚至解错题意。)