提纲：issue3写了好几天，请批判

rainiusUID: 2361453

请各位严厉批评指正 。
另外请问如何加入到本论坛有组织的学习备考活动之中？

Issue 3
"It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generation."

Paragraph 1:
       Is it more important to spend money for current social problems than for those long-term researches? Research centers are confronted with such a question nowadays. They have to conduct research activities on the both two aspects. It is over simplistic to assert that one of the two aspects is more crucial than the other and we must give more financial investment on it. The final judgment, in my point of view, should depend on a case-by-case analysis.

Paragraph 2：the importance of long-term research
{

       主题句：

       尽管长期研究看上去不能带来眼前的好处,但是对于后代的生存与发展却是必要的和有   价值的.

       TS:
       Although it seems that long-term researches cannot bring people immediate profits, they are necessary and valuable to the survival and development of our future generations.

       正面论述：
       {
              当前的未来问题就是未来的当前问题(怎么表达会地道一点?)
              A future problem in immediate perspective is going to be an immediate problem in future.

              对一个可能会出现的问题提前寻求解答远好于在它真正形成麻烦的时候仓促应对.
              It's better to work on a predicted future problem as early as possible rather than to handle it with no idea when it would have become a trouble.

              举例：（正面例证，寻找中）。
       }

       反面论述：
       {
              不进行长期问题的研究，就无法预测危机将在何时来临。
              Without long-term research, on the contrary, we are difficult to discover how far away the crisis from us.

              在沉重打击世界经济的1929~1930年经济大萧条突然爆发之前，多数人都没有投入足够的警惕其形成。
              For example, few people gave adequate alert to the origin of The Great Depression, which continued throughout the 1930 and brought a devastating effect to the world economy, before its sudden advent.
       }

       In short, lone-term research is influential to the future of our society.
}

Paragraph 3：the importance of research on immediate social problems
{

       TS: 对当前所面临的社会问题，尤其是那些迫在眉睫的问题，所进行的研究是非常必要的。
       It is obvious that investigation and research about immediate issues is also important.

       正面论述：
       {
          解决现实问题才能使每个个人和整个社会健康发展。
          To get improvements, Individuals and society both need that those existing issues to be handled.



          对于一些紧迫的问题，能否解决好社会公平、粮食安全以及种族问题这样紧迫而至关重要的问题，关系到社会的和平稳定与可持续发展。
         Some social problems, which are sensitive and critical, have to be resolved with high priorities. For example, social justice, food security, racial issues, and other problems in economy and politics have close links with the world's peace and sustainable development.
       }

       反面论述：
       {
          如果得不到及时有效的解决，问题就可能会恶化，引发局部乃至全球性的危机和灾难。
          Without efficient solution to the existing social problem, disastrous consequences, such as economic collapse, social unrest, and even military conflicts, will be brought to our society.

          例证：
          for example, the Great Depress, which has been mentioned above, was a key factor that caused the World War II.
       }

       In a word, research on the solutions to immediate social problems is necessary and important to ensure the social stability and development.
}

Paragraph 4：the solution
{
       TS: 根据以上分别论述的二者的重要性，资金必须合理的分配给长期研究和近期问题的研究，使二者协调进行。
       Base upon the previous analysis, financial support should be allocated to the research activities both about long-term and existing issues.

       按研究课题优先级合理分配资金：
       On the one hand, with limited money, each issue, either long-term issue or immediate one,  should be evaluated to be assigned a priority.
       Influential or urgent issues should get higher priorities. => get money quickly and sufficiently
       Issues with less importance or less urgency should be assigned with lower priorities.

       扩大用以支持社会问题研究的资金来源：
       另一方面，增加资金总量的投入，使更多更广泛的研究课题得到资金支持。
       政府应该发展经济，增加社会财富，从而能够支配更多财政资金投入到社会问题研究之中。另外，鼓励个人和团体对社会问题研究进行捐助，也是增加资金投入的有效途径。
       On the other hand, enhancement of financial support should be an efficient solution to the contradiction between the shortage of money and the great number of researching issues.
       Donation from individuals and organizations will greatly benefits the research activities on the both aspects of social problems.
}

Paragraph 5: 结尾段
{
       长期研究与当前问题的研究都是非常重要的，都关系到社会的稳定与发展。
       作为社会的管理者，政府应该想方设法增加资金投入，并寻求最优化的资金分配方案。
       Long-term research and existing problems research are both critical to the survival and development of human being.
       The authorities have to provide financial support to both of them as more as possible.
       At the same time, the authorities must carry out optimal solutions to allocate money.
}

GTBUID: 2652025

:O~~~LZ这篇更厉害啦~~~

嗯。。。我明天来好好看看！！:)

P.S.参加版面活动直接玩儿就行了，主要是同主题，不过有个官方群~~你到spectacular的总贴里找找

rainiusUID: 2361453

语言表达能力实在有限，头痛啊

GTBUID: 2652025

Paragraph 1:
       Is it more important to spend money for current social problems than for those long-term researches? Research centers（这个表达有点chinglish） are confronted with such a question nowadays.（其实头两句可以合并的：Confronted with limited resources nowadays, policy makers should balance the importance of both current social problems and long-term researches. 当然了，我改的也不一定好，但我觉得这样写出来比你那个前两句简洁而且信息量大，你那个前两句其实有点废话的感觉，而我改写后的这句，不仅表达了你那个意思，同时指出了这个题目中隐含的两个关键点：一个是“为什么会产生这个问题”----因为limited resources，另一个是“解决这个问题的决策者或者说资源分配的决定者是谁”-----policy makers也可以说是the governments，这样把一些隐含着的东西揭示出来不仅能让读者感觉你看到了问题的本质，而且也能拓宽你接下来的写作思路。后面的同样有罗嗦的问题，你自己改一下吧。） They have to conduct research activities on the both two aspects. It is over simplistic to assert that one of the two aspects is more crucial than the other and we must give more financial investment on it. The final judgment, in my point of view, should depend on a case-by-case analysis.

Paragraph 2：the importance of long-term research
{

       主题句：

       尽管长期研究看上去不能带来眼前的好处,但是对于后代的生存与发展却是必要的和有   价值的.

       TS:
       Although it seems that long-term researches cannot bring people immediate profits, they are necessary and valuable to the survival and development of our future generations.

       正面论述：
       {
              当前的未来问题就是未来的当前问题(怎么表达会地道一点?)
              A future problem in immediate perspective is going to be an immediate problem in future.
            你这个表达可以啊，不过感觉把going换成likely好些？
              对一个可能会出现的问题提前寻求解答远好于在它真正形成麻烦的时候仓促应对.
              It's better to work on a predicted future problem as early as possible rather than to handle it with no idea when it would have become a trouble.

              举例：（正面例证，寻找中）。
       }

       反面论述：
       {
              不进行长期问题的研究，就无法预测危机将在何时来临。
              Without long-term research, on the contrary, we are difficult to discover how far away the crisis from us.

              在沉重打击世界经济的1929~1930年经济大萧条突然爆发之前，多数人都没有投入足够的警惕其形成。
              For example, few people gave adequate alert to the origin of The Great Depression, which continued throughout the 1930 and brought a devastating effect to the world economy, before its sudden advent.
       }

       In short, lone-term research is influential to the future of our society.
}
请LZ注意我在你的TS里标出的红色部分以及下划线部分。红色部分是你这段应该论述的重点，下划线部分则应该是重点的重点。但很遗憾，我没有看到对下划线部分的充分论述，in other words，你的这个正反面论述不能够证明你的下划线观点，你只是就long-term research的好处进行了很泛的论述。如果你把TS改成long-term research是很有必要的，那你这个论述就没太大问题，但你既然已经具体到对后代的生存发展的影响问题，你就必须把自己的这个论点论述出来具体出来。
Paragraph 3：the importance of research on immediate social problems
{

       TS: 对当前所面临的社会问题，尤其是那些迫在眉睫的问题，所进行的研究是非常必要的。
       It is obvious that investigation and research about immediate issues is also important.

       正面论述：
       {
          解决现实问题才能使每个个人和整个社会健康发展。
          To get improvements, Individuals and society both need that those existing issues to be handled.



          对于一些紧迫的问题，能否解决好社会公平、粮食安全以及种族问题这样紧迫而至关重要的问题，关系到社会的和平稳定与可持续发展。
         Some social problems, which are sensitive and critical, have to be resolved with high priorities. For example, social justice, food security, racial issues, and other problems in economy and politics have close links with the world's peace and sustainable development.
       }

       反面论述：
       {
          如果得不到及时有效的解决，问题就可能会恶化，引发局部乃至全球性的危机和灾难。
          Without efficient solution to the existing social problem, disastrous consequences, such as economic collapse, social unrest, and even military conflicts, will be brought to our society.

          例证：
          for example, the Great Depress, which has been mentioned above, was a key factor that caused the World War II.
       }

       In a word, research on the solutions to immediate social problems is necessary and important to ensure the social stability and development.
}

Paragraph 4：the solution
{
       TS: 根据以上分别论述的二者的重要性，资金必须合理的分配给长期研究和近期问题的研究，使二者协调进行。
       Base upon the previous analysis, financial support should be allocated to the research activities both about long-term and existing issues.

       按研究课题优先级合理分配资金：
       On the one hand, with limited money, each issue, either long-term issue or immediate one,  should be evaluated to be assigned a priority.
       Influential or urgent issues should get higher priorities. => get money quickly and sufficiently
       Issues with less importance or less urgency should be assigned with lower priorities.

       扩大用以支持社会问题研究的资金来源：
       另一方面，增加资金总量的投入，使更多更广泛的研究课题得到资金支持。
       政府应该发展经济，增加社会财富，从而能够支配更多财政资金投入到社会问题研究之中。另外，鼓励个人和团体对社会问题研究进行捐助，也是增加资金投入的有效途径。
       On the other hand, enhancement of financial support should be an efficient solution to the contradiction between the shortage of money and the great number of researching issues.
       Donation from individuals and organizations will greatly benefits the research activities on the both aspects of social problems.
}这个body里你的第二点很有问题，你的TS告诉读者你下面要讲如何才能使money再二者间得到合理分配，为什么又突然出现扩大资金来源一说？必须要明确，你的body是为TS服务的，不能出现TS中不包含的内容，既然你列出了TS，你下面的论述就必须紧紧围绕TS来写。更何况，这里我们探讨的就是在有限的资金条件下如何balance长远利益与眼前利益的问题，再在这里说扩大资金来源云云有点无理取闹的意思。

Paragraph 5: 结尾段
{
       长期研究与当前问题的研究都是非常重要的，都关系到社会的稳定与发展。
       作为社会的管理者，政府应该想方设法增加资金投入，并寻求最优化的资金分配方案。
       Long-term research and existing problems research are both critical to the survival and development of human being.
       The authorities have to provide financial support to both of them as more as possible.
       At the same time, the authorities must carry out optimal solutions to allocate money.
}
最后还是这个增加资金投入的问题。

小结：
你这个文章写得非常浅，而且对题意的理解也不好。

还有我很困惑的一点：你的开头说应该case by case，我咋都没看出来你分的case再哪里。还是说你不理解什么是case by case?

anyway,批判地接受，毕竟我的水平也有限。还有就是我只看了中文部分~

欢迎跟帖讨论~

rainiusUID: 2361453

多谢费这么大力气帮我看，很有道理，我继续修改

rainiusUID: 2361453

关于paragraph 4中原本说的是有限资金如何分配。之所以又提到增加资金投入，原意是想对论述略作延伸。不只这样做妥否

GTBUID: 2652025

如果是“略”的话，没什么问题，当成一个论点去论述就不妥了