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发表于 2009-9-15 20:11:25 |显示全部楼层
9月15日作文

一天不写手生,一个月没写了,手更生

Nowadays, when thinking about one’s career path, many people have a clear timeline and roadmap for their own development. Because the theory that people can’t stay in one company or enterprise for his/her own life has been accepted for a long time. From my perspective, I strongly agree with these thoughts, and think it is a necessary result for everyone.

Along with the developing of technology, people get to know more about the society, and their demand are more various at different ages. Thus they need changes to meet their demands. We all know, the first couple of years of job are main for the experience. When we become professional, we consider own business or material purchasing. Therefore, people will shift when their new requirements can’t be met. In another way, those one who realize they don’t like the current working field, staying will become a torture to them. They want to change so eagerly. My classmate Alex is an example to the case. The first job he got was in a national radio station, which is a very famous one in the country. Everybody was so jealous of him, and he determined to work here for his whole life. But after one year, he begun to feel he need change, because his characteristic doesn’t match with the spirit of this industry which is a key factor for a great career. After all, he has to choose to leave, though this is his favorite working place.

Beside the personal issues, the environment factors also play a very critical role for career changing. Due to the financial crisis or quick development of some high ROI (return on investment ) industry, people have to leave their first job. Even some of they feel loyal with their first company, but they have to do so. This story happens in many industries every year, especially the past year. When the economy declines, many companies lay off their employees. So these people have to end their career in the first company, which they are loyal to, and has worked for a long time.


In conclusion, due to the personal reason and environmental factors, it’s almost unnecessary for an employee to stay in a company for his whole life. Meanwhile, I also think, it’s not a good idea to stay in the same company just for a safe salary, people should be brave to fight for a better life, not just meet the minimum needs.
If you don't try,light won't hit your eyes.

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发表于 2009-9-16 22:23:55 |显示全部楼层
1# wawabj

Nowadays, when thinking about one’s career path, many people have a clear timeline and roadmap for their own development. Because the theory that people can’t stay in one company or enterprise for his/her own life has been accepted for a long time. From my perspective, I strongly agree with these thoughts, and think it is a necessary result(应该是原因才对) for everyone.

Along with the developing of technology, people get to know more about the society, and their demand are more various at different ages. Thus they need changes to meet their demands. We all know, the first couple of years of job are main for the experience. When we become professional, we consider own business or material purchasing. Therefore, people will shift when their new requirements can’t be met. In another way, those one who realize they don’t like the current working field, staying will become a torture to them. They want to change so eagerly(这个和本段论点不是同一个话题,是另一个论点了). My classmate Alex is an example to the case. The first job he got was in a national radio station, which is a very famous one in the country. Everybody was so jealous of him, and he determined to work here for his whole life. But after one year, he begun to feel he need change, because his characteristic doesn’t match with(match及物动词) the spirit of this industry which is a key factor for a great career. After all, he has to choose to leave, though this is his favorite working place.


Beside the personal issues, the environment factors also play a very critical role for career changing. Due to the financial crisis or quick development of some high ROI (return on investment) industry, people have to leave their first job. Even some of they(them) feel loyal with(to) their first company, but they have to do so. This story happens in many industries every year, especially the past year. When the economy declines, many companies lay off their employees. So these people have to end their career in the first company, which they are loyal to, and has worked for a long time.

In conclusion, due to the personal reason and environmental factors, it’s almost unnecessary for an employee to stay in a company for his whole life. Meanwhile, I also think, it’s not a good idea to stay in the same company just for a safe salary, people should be brave to fight for a better life, not just meet the minimum needs.

两个观点都不错,就是论证的不够深入,还有,减少错别字能够使你看起来更专业

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发表于 2009-9-17 22:57:16 |显示全部楼层
9月17日作文
Some  people consider that older people always enjoy life more better than youg people. Because they hold the idea that when people get mature, they will know how to handle the issues in their lives, thus get more time and learn a better way to enjoy the life. But in my opinion,young people acturally are the ones who enjoy the better life.

The society will never stop developing, and young generation are always the ones who easily accept and take advantage of the latest technology and lifestyle, which lead them to a better life. Techology changes our lives, and it brings us convinience. Home facility like frigerator, oven, washing mashine which are now very popular in the youger’s homes do help save a lot of time for housework, and release more leisure time. But when we take a look at other families,which is charged by older people, especially those don't know how to operate these machines or who don't think this machine could do job well. They have to spend more time on housework. In that way, we can't say, they enjoy their life better than the yougers.

In addition, due to the young age, this group of people are full of passion, and don't have that many concerns as the olders do about living issue. Thus, they can try new living way without hesitatation. And for this passion, young people get more chances to enjoy their life, like starting a totally new life. Meanwhile, we know that, the older we are, the realistic we are. Money, reputation, power are always the standards of happiness for the old ones, which are not easy to be reached. But for young generations, they focus more on their interests, their future. They laugh and cry for some simple things, like a story, a song or a book. Their emotions can be easily changed by these stuffs. Therefore, they taste the life with more emotions, and enjoy better than those for the wealth or position.

In a conclusion, I believe that young people enjoy life better than old people. Because they are easy to familiar with the latest technology which help them release from work. And because their expectation about life is not judged by money or position.
If you don't try,light won't hit your eyes.

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发表于 2009-9-18 18:56:14 |显示全部楼层
Some  people consider that olderpeople always enjoy life more better than yougpeople. Because they hold the idea that when people get mature, they will knowhow to handle the issues in their lives, thus get more time and learn a betterway to enjoy the life. But in my opinion, young people acturallyare the ones who enjoy the better life.
The society will never stop developing, andyoung generation are always the ones who easilyaccept and take advantage of the latest technology and lifestyle, which leadthem to a better life. Techology changes ourlives, and it brings us convinience. Home facility like frigerator,oven, washing mashine which are now very popularin the youger’s homes do help save a lot of time for housework, and releasemore leisure time. But when we take a look at otherfamilies, which is charged by older people, especially those don't know how tooperate these machines or who don't think this machine could do job well(感觉when完了就没了,主句呢). They have to spend more time on housework. Inthat way, we can't say, they enjoy their life better than the yougers.
In addition, due to the young age, thisgroup of people are full of passion, and don't不要用缩写 have that many concerns as the olders do about living issue. Thus,they can try new living way without hesitatation.And for this passion, young people get more chances to enjoy their life, likestarting a totally new life. Meanwhile, we know that, the older we are, therealistic we are. Money, reputation, power are always the standards ofhappiness for the old ones, which are not easy to be reached. But for younggenerations, they focus more on their interests,andtheir future. They laugh and cry for some simple things, like astory, a song or a book. Their emotions can be easily changed by these stuffs.Therefore, they taste the life with more emotions, and enjoy better than thosefor the wealth or position.
In a conclusion, I believe that youngpeople enjoy life better than old people. Because they are easy to familiarwith the latest technology which help them release from work. And because their expectation about life is not judged bymoney or position(很别扭).
淡定,淡定

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发表于 2009-9-19 13:33:20 |显示全部楼层
    Some  people consider that older people always enjoy life more(better本来就是比较级) better than youg people. Because they hold the idea that when people get mature, they will know how to handle the issues(what issue?) in their lives, thus get more time and learn a better way to enjoy the life. But in my opinion,young people acturally are the ones who enjoy the better life.

# D! ^' B  E  z, s/ x
The society will never stop developing, and young generation are always the ones who can easily accept and take advantage of the latest technology and lifestyle, which lead them to a better life. Techology changes our lives, and it(删掉) brings us convinience. Home facility like frigerator, oven, washing mashine which are now very popular in the youger’s homes do help to save a lot of time for housework, and release more leisure time. But when we take a look at other families,which is charged by older people, especially those don't know how to operate these machines or who don't think this machine could do job well. They have to spend more time on housework. In that way, we can't say, they enjoy their life better than the yougers.

    In addition, due to the young age, this group of people are full of passion, and don't have that many concerns as the olders do about living issue. Thus, they can try new living way without hesitatation. And for this passion, young people get more chances to enjoy their life, like starting a totally new life. Meanwhile, we know that, the older we are, the more realistic we are. Money, reputation, power are always the standards of happiness for the old ones, which are not easy to be reached. But for young generations, they focus more on their interests, their future. They laugh and cry for some simple things, like a story, a song or a book. Their emotions can be easily changed by these stuffs. Therefore, they taste the life with more emotions, and enjoy better than those for the wealth or position.

% P& a% B% C6 T# S0 l, g
    In a conclusion, I believe that young people enjoy life better than old people. Because they are easy to familiar with the latest technology which help them release from work. And because their expectation about life is not judged by money or position. (结尾与文章结构对应,不错)

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发表于 2009-9-19 16:18:06 |显示全部楼层
3# wawabj

Some people consider that older people always enjoy life more better than youg(young) people. Because they hold the idea that when people get mature, they will know how to handle the issues in their lives, thus get more time and learn a better way to enjoy the life. But in my opinion, young people actually are the ones who enjoy the better life.

The society will never stop developing, and young generation are(is) always the ones who easily accept and take advantage of the latest technology and lifestyle, which lead them to a better life. Techology(technology) changes our lives, and it brings us convenience. Home facility like frigerator(refrigerator), oven, washing mashine(machine) which are now very popular in the youger’s(young’s) homes do help save a lot of time for housework, and release more leisure time. But when we take a look at other families, which is charged by older people, especially those don't know how to operate these machines or who don't think this machine could do job well. They have to spend more time on housework. In that way, we can't say, they enjoy their life better than the yougers(younger).

电冰箱和洗碗机不能说明问题啊,因为这两个机器太普遍了,大多数人都会用

In addition, due to the young age, this group of people are full of passion, and don't have that(those) many concerns as the olders do about living issue. Thus, they can try new living way without hesitatation(hesitation). And for this passion, young people get more chances to enjoy their life, like starting a totally new life. Meanwhile, we know that, the older we are, the (more realtisic)realistic we are. Money, reputation, power are always the standards of happiness for the old ones, which are not easy to be reached. But for young generations, they focus more on their interests, their future. They laugh and cry for some simple things, like a story, a song or a book. Their emotions can be easily changed by these stuffs. Therefore, they taste the life with more emotions, and enjoy better than those for the wealth or position.

In a conclusion, I believe that young people enjoy life better than old people. Because they are easy to familiar with the latest technology which help them release from work. And because their expectation about life is not judged by money or position(和上句合成一句比较好).

问题
1 错别字和语法问题太多,影响得分
2 电视机和洗碗机的例子不具有说服力

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发表于 2009-9-23 01:10:17 |显示全部楼层
922作业。
实在不知道写什么

What do you pursue by working, happiness or money? This topic has been discussed for a long time, even since career was gave birth to on the first day. And some company asked this question when they recruit new employees. From my perspective, the person goal of life is being happy. Thus I think I work for happiness rather than money. I will explain my reasons as follow.

Firstly, working is the most important and almost the only way to help people realize themselves and prove their value. And the achievement will definitely make us happy. For example, when I first graduated from university, there were two offers. One is working as a secretary for a general manager, another is testing engineer which requires finishing amount of tasks every week, and there is always a campaign about the efficiency and management about the teamwork. I like competition, so I chose the second one. After working for several months, our team won in a campaign. When we received the prize from boss, at that moment, I feel so happy for the ability be accepted by the company and other co-workers. I did get myself realized through the job.

Secondly, a very specific criteria for my job-hunting is that the job must be well connected or combined with my interests, and then the job will become one resources of happiness. I think nobody will be unhappy with his/her hobbies. Take my second job as an example, I like communicating with people, thus public relationship becomes my new career. Of course, public relationship is not only about communication, it also emphasizes strategy and some other ability. But because communication is also a very important part, so far, I get well with my job and get happiness all the time.

In sum, I do not deny some people work only for money, but for me, happiness the critical factor for a job. If I’m not happy with my job, I won’t achieve any good result, and can not stay in that post for a long time. Happy is me ultimate goal, while others are just methods to help me achieve that target.
If you don't try,light won't hit your eyes.

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IBT Zeal Cancer巨蟹座

发表于 2009-9-23 10:35:06 |显示全部楼层
写的很真实的, 语言词汇都不错, 个别有小的瑕疵. 比如时态

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发表于 2009-9-23 10:40:28 |显示全部楼层
MIA几号二战? 我26日!

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发表于 2009-9-23 16:25:41 |显示全部楼层
What do you pursue by working, happiness or money? This topic has been discussed for a long time, even since career was gave birth to on the first day. And some company asked this question when they recruit new employees. From my perspective, the person goal of life is being happy. Thus I think I work for happiness rather than money. I will explain my reasons as follow.(these two sentences are both begun with the subject I ,the later one can be transformed as : Reasons are explained as follows)


: l5 m, r& u0 J1 A; @5 u! y
Firstly, working is the most important and almost the only way to help people realize themselves and prove their value.(good argument) And the achievement will definitely make us happy. For example, when I first graduated from university, there were two offers. One is working as a secretary for a general manager, another is testing engineer which requires finishing amount of tasks every week, and there is always a campaign about the efficiency and management about the teamwork. I like competition, so I chose the second one. After working for several months, our team won in a campaign. When we received the prize from boss, at that moment,( the moment when.) I feel so happy for the ability be accepted(admitted or admired) by the company and other co-workers. I did get myself realized through the job.
: Y& q! y: `1 `

- U* w: n  ~: I  @1 c  P2 Q
Secondly, a very specific criteria for my job-hunting is that the job must be well connected or combined with my interests, and then the job will become one resources of happiness. I think nobody will be unhappy with his/her hobbies. Take my second job as an example, I like communicating with people, thus public relationship becomes my new career. Of course, public relationship is not only about communication, it also emphasizes strategy and some other ability. But because communication is also a very important part, so far, I get well with my job and get happiness all the time.
; Y( K+ @* \* f7 v8 u9 z* @" B
5 }: }  n$ F7 @: l) [8 B
In sum, I do not deny some people work only for money, but for me, happiness the critical factor for a job. If I’m not happy with my job, I won’t achieve any good result, and can not stay in that post for a long time. Happy is memine ultimate goal, while others are just methods to help me achieve that target.(the last sentence is appreciated)
7# wawabj

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发表于 2009-9-23 19:54:37 |显示全部楼层
What do you pursue by working, happiness or money? This topic has been discussed for a long time, even since career was gave birth to on the first day. And some company(复数) asked(不必用过去时) this question when they recruit new employees. From my perspective, the person(personal) goal of life is being happy. Thus I think I work for happiness rather than money. I will explain my reasons as follow(as follows).

Firstly, working is the most important and almost the only way to help people realize themselves and prove their value. And the achievement will definitely make us happy. For example, when I first graduated from university, there were two offers. One is(was) working as a secretary for a general manager, another(换成the other好些) is testing engineer which requires finishing (a large)amount of tasks every week, and there is always a campaign about the efficiency and management about the teamwork. I like competition, so I chose the second(用latter更好) one. After working for several months, our team won in a campaign. When we received the prize from boss, at that moment, I feel(felt) so happy for the(my ability) ability be accepted by the company and other co-workers. I did get myself realized through the job.(感觉这第一点跟你pursue for happiness没什么关系呢?)

Secondly, a very specific criteria for my job-hunting is that the job must be well connected or combined with my interests, and then the job will become one resources(单数) of happiness. I think nobody will be unhappy with his/her hobbies. Take my second job as an example, I like communicating with people, thus public relationship becomes my new career. Of course, public relationship is not only about communication, it also emphasizes strategy and some other ability. But because communication is also a very important part, so far, I get well with my job and get(这个动词跟前面重复了,改成gain吧) happiness all the time.

In sum, I do not deny some people work only for money, but for me, happiness(少了个is) the critical factor for a job. If I’m not happy with my job, I won’t achieve any good result, and can not stay in that post(position) for a long time. Happy is me(my) ultimate goal, while others are just methods to help me achieve that target.

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发表于 2009-9-23 23:30:31 |显示全部楼层
谢谢大家的点评还有翠花大人的鼓励哟!!

To Echo,
我那个的意思是,实现个人价值这个事情对我来说是很happy的。
To Coco
我还没报名,应该是10月份考。
To hmnsun
你的作文遣词造句都很棒,有什么心得可以分享一下么?
If you don't try,light won't hit your eyes.

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发表于 2009-9-24 12:04:35 |显示全部楼层
[fly]924作业
The best way to travel is in a group led by the guide.

Along with the rapid development of society, the basic needs for living have been well fulfilled. Nowadays, people started spending more of their time and money on leisure things such as travel. Thus whether going for a trip with a guide has become a hot topic. Some people especially those young people argue that independent travel is the best way. But to my standpoint, led by a guide will actually result in an enjoyable travel. The reasons will be illustrated as follows.

First, as a professional, the guide is very familiar with the place and he/ she has been well equipped with knowledge about the destination, which will help us save a lot of time to do homework. For most us, time is really limited for the daily busy job. Thus after a tight working period, we wish to look for fun and relaxation by traveling. The guide helps us out of many preparing jobs. He/she knows what’s the best part of this place, he/she knows what indispensable things we should bring. He/she knows so many useful things, which can’t be learned by us in a short time. Sometimes, these knowledge even prevent us from dangerous. For example, many places have taboo, which will be very dangerous if we offend it. With a guide, we will get the briefing and warning before entering the district, which effectively prevent us from troubles.

Second, a guide can also help us manage the time very well, everything moves forward under the control. To many people, it was really hard to make a concise plan for the traveling, thus missing the plane or bus becomes so usual, which affected their business or other appointments. But with a guide, who has a high awareness of timing, the chance will be lowered. My uncle is such a case. Once he went to Japan for a tour by himself, being attracted by the beautiful view of Fuji, when he went back to hotel, it’s almost mid-night. Because of the tiredness, he overslept, missed the plane and a meeting with clients. After that, he seems get a lesson, and always joins in a group with the guide to travel.

To sum up, although independent travel can be very flexible, a travel with a guide will help us avoid lots of troubles and have a great tour with detailed interpretation. To the busy business man/woman, that will definitely a best choice. [/fly]
If you don't try,light won't hit your eyes.

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发表于 2009-9-25 13:06:43 |显示全部楼层
The best way to travel is in a group led by the guide.

Along with the rapid development of society, the basic needs for living have been well fulfilled. Nowadays, people started spending more of their time and money on leisure things such as travel. Thus whether going for a trip with a guide has become a hot topic. Some people especially those young people argue that independent travel is the best way. But to my standpoint, led by a guide will actually result in an enjoyable travel. The reasons will be illustrated as follows.(几个亮点词说的特别好}8 r+ ^! _7 b, U# q/ S

First, as a professional, the guide is very familiar with the place and he/ she has been well equipped with knowledge about the destination, which will help us save a lot of time to do homework. For most us, time is really limited for the daily busy job. Thus after a tight working period, we wish to look for fun and relaxation by traveling. The guide helps us out of many preparing jobs. He/she knows what’s the best part of this place, he/she knows what indispensable things we should bring. He/she knows so many useful things, which can’t be learned by us in a short time. Sometimes, these knowledge even prevent us from dangerous. For example, many places have taboo, which will be very dangerous if we offend it. With a guide, we will get the briefing and warning before entering the district, which effectively prevent us from troubles.
* r; R( G7 n5 }! r' A
Second, a guide can also help us manage the time very well, everything moves forward under the control. To many people, it was really hard to make a concise plan for the traveling, thus missing the plane or bus becomes so usual, which affected their business or other appointments. But with a guide, who has a high awareness of timing, the chance will be lowered. My uncle is such a case. Once he went to Japan for a tour by himself, being attracted by the beautiful view of Fuji, when he went back to hotel, it’s almost mid-night. Because of the tiredness, he overslept, missed the plane and a meeting with clients. After that, he seems get a lesson, and always joins in a group with the guide to travel.
  L0 t( P% {. B
To sum up, although independent travel can be very flexible, a travel with a guide will help us avoid lots of troubles and have a great tour with detailed interpretation. To the busy business man/woman, that will definitely a best choice.

总体是一篇好文章,有几个地方现在时态改成虚拟语态会好些,would 比will好些。
Lz实力好强啊

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发表于 2009-10-1 18:09:02 |显示全部楼层

10.1 作业

10.1作业
Good looks and dresses are more important for success than good ideas. Agree or disagree?

It has been and always been a hot topic about which is more important for success good looks and dresses or good ideas. Many people consistently emphasize the later is more important, but for me, good looks and dresses actually play a more critical role in nowadays because services industry is core business of the society.

First, good looks and dresses present professional work, and they bring people more convenience which do help people get success. This point view is practical in various fields. Take a restaurant called “Grandmother’s Kitchen” as an example. The same like other western food café, Grandmother Kitchen serves the same food as sandwich, pizza, salad and so forth. But why Grandmother Kitchen is one of the most popular restaurants here in Beijing? According to a survey conducted by Review magazine, 80% customers think the smile and suitable clothes of the waiters/ waitresses make them feel at home. In contrast, some other cafes which try to attract customers by so-called innovation can not keep popular due to lacking a comfortable atmosphere.

Second, good idea is important, but it will only be helpful when it is practical and can be done with good execution. We human never lack of good ideas, but only few of them are practical and can be conducted well. Everyone works in the event agency must always attend internal brainstorms. Good ideas were generated almost every 5 minutes, but most of them are denied by tight budget or unpractical, and finally we follow the routine process to prepare a project.

In addition, good idea even ruins one’s success sometimes. I knew one story about this. Once a foreign designer was asked to design a hotel in a Moslem country, he really did a very great job with creative ideas. But he was banished and forbidden to go that country any more. The consequence was not understood by many people. A lawyer finally unlocked the secret: the designer offended one of the Moslem taboos which is fatal.

In conclusion, good looks and dresses are more important than good ideas. I do not deny the importance of ideas, but to some extent, it needs more other factors help to make people achieve success, while, the former is an independent element.
If you don't try,light won't hit your eyes.

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