qqweer2007的作文贴，求指导~

qqweer2007UID：2686919

8.13号考T上了大学就没怎么写过作文了。囧。来这里跟大家学习交流
以后每天独立一篇+综合一篇。希望作文能拿个good！！

qqweer2007UID：2686919

7.13 独立
Which is better, challenging plans about one's future or practical plans about one's future?

When talking about the issue that how can we plan our future appropriately, many people might advocate that they prefer challenging plans. I personally do not hold this opinion. Even though challenging plans have their own value, I still persist in doing my practical plans.

One first reason is that only practical plans can help me get a good understand of my current work and give me confidence to finish it step by step. Comparing with challenging plans, practical plans give more details and always have definite goals for steps. Knowing that all these goals are possible for me to achieve in a near future, I can become more confident. Consequently, the efficiency will be promoted, too. As a result, I can promise the quality as well as the quantity of the work.

More importantly, practical plans can help avoid chaos during the process that I strive to the goals.
On the contrary, challenging plans can create chaos. For example, you may have a dream to become a celebrated pianist and you know nothing about the piano now. Then you may start drafting your challenging plan, like learning to play piano for 3 months and getting a particular certify, which is pretty difficult. And you may have a lot of goals to achieve after that. But the first goal is too difficult, thus you are very likely to fail. Then the plan will be totally broken and you will get into chaos. What's more, you may be unconfident to finish the following work, which will definitely result in failure.

However, challenging plans have their own value, like motivating people to work hard. When people have practical plans, which include several easy goals, they may be over relaxed and do not work hard to achieve the goals. That is serious. On the other hand, if people have challenging plans, they may be motivated because the whole work is difficult and they have felt the pressure of failure.

In a nutshell, practical is positive to help people find confidence during the work, and sometimes it is even necessary for avoiding chaos. Nevertheless, challenging plans have their own values and they can be useful to motivate people to work hard.

theflyfishUID：2101420

When talking about the issue that how can we plan our futureappropriately, many people might advocate that they prefer challengingplans. I personally do not hold this opinion. Even though challengingplans have their own value, I still persist in doing my practical plans.0 a) c2 _( \7 l! ^* B. `: h- C. x3 l# Q
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One first reason is that only practical plans can help me get a goodunderstanding of my current work and give me confidence to finish it stepby step. Comparing with challenging plans, practical plans give moredetails and always have definite goals for steps/each step. Knowing that allthese goals are possible for me to achieve in a near future, I canbecome more confident. Consequently, the efficiency will be promoted,too. As a result, I can promise the quality as well as the quantity ofthe work.
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, j. J% n+ ?4 t& zMore importantly, practical plans can help avoid chaos during the process that I strive to the goals. (不具体解释一下为什么会避免chaos?challenging plans may cause chaos不等于practical plans 就一定可以避免chaos.还需要证明论证一下)
+ l( b+ ~0 c+ m$ `: r; Z, HOn thecontrary, challenging plans can create chaos. For example, you may havea dream to become a celebrated pianist and you know nothing about thepiano now. Then you may start drafting your challenging plan, likelearning to play piano for 3 months and getting a particular certify,which is pretty difficult. And you may have a lot of goals to achieveafter that. But the first goal is too difficult, thus you are verylikely to fail. Then the plan will be totally broken and you will getinto chaos. What's more, you may be unconfident to finish the followingwork, which will definitely result in failure. （感觉这一段和上一段的意思差不多，只是从反面说了一下）
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3 ~0 S; t& P- |& G+ t( h* IHowever,challenging plans have their own values, like motivating people to workhard. When people have practical plans, which include several easygoals, they may be over relaxed and do not work hard to achieve thegoals. That is serious. On the other hand, if people have challengingplans, they may be motivated because the whole work is difficult andthey have felt the pressure of failure.
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( O! x1 R7 G# c9 u5 t& I" uIn anutshell, practical is positive to help people find confidence duringthe work, and sometimes it is even necessary for avoiding chaos.Nevertheless, challenging plans have their own values and they can beuseful to motivate people to work hard.

写的不错，非常清楚。学习了

cherrycarrieUID：2943359

Which is better, challenging plans about one's future or practical plans about one's future?

When talking about the issue that how can we plan our future appropriately, many people might advocate that they prefer challenging plans. I personally do not hold this opinion. Even though challenging plans have their own value, I still persist in doing my practical plans.

One first reason is that only practical plans can help me get a good understandING of my current work and give me confidence to finish it step by step. Comparing with challenging plans, practical plans give more details and always have definite goals for steps. Knowing that all these goals are possible for me to achieve in a near future, I can become more confident. Consequently, the efficiency will be promoted, too. As a result, I can promise the quality as well as the quantity of the work.

More importantly, practical plans can help avoid chaos during the process that I strive to the goals.
On the contrary, challenging plans can create chaos. For example, you may have a dream to become a celebrated pianist and you know nothing about the piano now. Then you may start drafting your challenging plan, like learning to play piano for 3 months and getting a particular certify, which is pretty difficult. And you may have a lot of goals to achieve after that. But the first goal is too difficult, thus you are very likely to fail. Then the plan will be totally broken and you will get into chaos. What's more, you may be unconfident to finish the following work, which will definitely result in failure.
同意楼上，最好加一句however, since practical plans can be reached by steps/ more flexible, I rarely be chaotic...之类的
另外，我觉得观点可以更明确一点。

However, challenging plans have their own value, like motivating people to work hard. When people have practical plans, which include several easy goals, they may be over relaxed and do not work hard to achieve the goals. That is serious. On the other hand, if people have challenging plans, they may be motivated because the whole work is difficult and they have felt the pressure of failure.

In a nutshell, practical is positive to help people find confidence during the work, and sometimes it is even necessary for avoiding chaos. Nevertheless, challenging plans have their own values and they can be useful to motivate people to work hard.

表示，语句神马不错，结构也清晰，但是据说这种有让步的不是太好= =（听说）因为会把观点模糊化。我觉得最后一段结尾的时候应该好好确立自己的想法。比如说，“对我来讲practical plans会更有成效”之类的。
加油↖(^ω^)↗

qqweer2007UID：2686919

7,14& w$ C. i7 a3 ?. E2 q( t9 mDo you agree or disagree with the following statement:"The best way to improve the quality of education is to imcrease teachers' salaries."09,4,3

As we all know, education is the basis of the development of the society. Thus the quality of education is always a hot topic. Various of measures have been taken, including effective ones as well as ineffective ones. People may concern about that if increasing teachers' salaries can help improve the quality of education. From my perspective, I'll hold the opinion for several reasons.

First of all, increasing teachers' salaries can definitely motivate teachers to spend more time on their work and concentrate on the quality of their own work. On the contrary, low salaries make some teachers depressed about the work. With such a negative emotion, these teachers can not play a good role at their position. My brother's experience is a typical example. He graduated from the college and find a job of high school teacher. He always complains to us that teacher is a job with heavy work and low salary, which is definitely unfair. Recently, he trys to teach classes during the holiday, which is prohibited but with high income. The quality of the courses at school has been put at a second place, and working on holiday makes the efficiency during the workday decreases.All these factors ,which are due to the low salary, will definitely cause a low quality of education.

What is more, increasing teachers' salaries can also has a positive influence on attracting talents to participate in education. A survey conducted in 2010 about the hot majors shows that most of the high school students will choose hot majors such as economics, computer science and architecture. The reason is that students can find a better job and make more money in these fields after they graduated from the college. And most of these students are always talents because it is competitive in these hot fields. So we can draw a conclusion that if salaries of teachers have been increased, part of the top students will be attracted to the field of education, which will definitely improve the quality of education.

With reasons listed above, a conclusion can be drawn that increasing of salaries of teachers will help motivate teachers to work more hard and concentrate on their own work at school. In addition, high salaries will also attract talents to this field and thus improve the quality of education. In summary, the quality of education can definitely be improved by increasing salaries of teachers.

qqweer2007UID：2686919

谢谢楼上各位帮忙改作文，受教了~

应小呆UID：3109940

欢迎你来改我的作文~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1280678-5-1.html

7.13 独立



Which is better, challenging plans about one's future or practical plans about one's future?



When talking about the issue that how can we plan our future appropriately, many people might advocate that they prefer challenging plans. I personally do not hold this opinion. Even though challenging plans have their own value, I still persist in doing my practical plans.) y8 Q/ ~) K# G) r" e" U
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One first reason is that only practical plans can help me get a good understand（understanding？） of my current work and give me confidence to finish it step by step. Comparing（campared） with challenging plans, practical plans give more details and always have definite goals for steps. Knowing that all these goals are possible for me to achieve in a near future, I can become more confident. Consequently, the efficiency will be promoted, too. As a result, I can promise the quality as well as the quantity of the work.(我觉得，虽然在某些方面，论证确实是指的从不同得角度讲同一个东西，但有层次、有递进会更好一点。比如，先说P会提高效率，然后论证说P会增加信心，拿自己做个例子，随后说信心增加效率上升，最后总结说P会使得效率增加？）



More importantly, practical plans can help avoid chaos during the process that I（据说在正式的文章里最好不要有I\MY\MINE\之类的主观性过强的词~）als.



On the contrary, challenging plans can create chaos. For example, you may have a dream to become a celebrated pianist and you know nothing about the piano now. Then you may start drafting your challenging plan, like learning to play piano for 3 months and getting a particular certify, which is pretty difficult. And you may have a lot of goals to achieve after that. But the first goal is too difficult, thus you are very likely to fail. Then the plan will be totally broken and you will get into chaos. What's more, you may be unconfident to finish the following work, which will definitely result in failure. - R0 y, P  N- n/ q! m& m




However, challenging plans have their own value, like（like不可以用来举例哟亲~用such as） motivating people to work hard. When people have practical plans, which include several easy goals, they may be over relaxed and do not work hard to achieve the goals. That is serious. On the other hand, if people have challenging plans, they may be motivated because the whole work is difficult and they have felt（为什么用完成时呢？） the pressure of failure.



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In a nutshell, practical is positive to help people find confidence during the work, and sometimes it is even necessary for avoiding chaos. Nevertheless, challenging plans have their own values and they can be useful to motivate people to work hard.

我觉得你文章蛮流畅的，但论证逻辑上不够充分。
我们一起加油~
↖(^ω^)↗

theflyfishUID：2101420

改好了。写的不错，学习了。

qqweer2007UID：2686919

7.16

应小呆UID：3109940

欢迎你来改我的作文~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1280678-7-1.html

7.165 y6 T* u$ k7 }- v+ H
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: In a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticize couldn’t be successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your idea.10,2,13 : O- Q# J6 e- i3 _) @




These（There） is an old saying that "even Homer sometimes nods"（学习了~）. As we all know, everyone makes mistakes and accepting criticize helps us correct them and ameliorate （学习了~）our own abilities. On the contrary, those who can not accept criticize modestly will be confronted with dilemma during the process to success. Several following reasons can help support my opinion that accepting criticize is necessary to success.（学习了一种新开头方式~）


First of all, correcting mistakes means progress and finding mistakes in（去掉in？另外我觉得and前后连接的两个虽然含义上并不并列，但猛一看会被误解呢( ⊙ o ⊙ )） is a arduous task for ourselves but a easy work for others. It's a typical example when students dealing with reports, articles or homeworks. Students find it rather difficult to check their own mistakes but finding mistakes from others' works is pretty simple. The reason of the phenomenon is that people observe things from different angles and think about things with different mind. So we can draw a conclusion that accepting criticize from others is definitely a shortcut to find shortages of us. As presented above, correcting mistakes is progress for people can gain new experiences and skills by negating themselves and rebuilding themselves. In a nutshell, wise people improve themselves and achieve goals by taking several steps as accepting criticize, finding shortages and correct them.（我觉得后面这句扩展蛮好的~我觉得这段要是加个更细致点的例子就更好了，那个例子太短了，感觉不如你的说理有说服力呢）2 O7 E3 w# g5 E0 d' ?0 V' P7 N5 n
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More importantly, in a cooperation of team, accepting criticize is basis of the relationship among team members. Modesty is Chinese traditional virtue and accepting others' suggestions is one of the forms of modesty. People who are modest are always welcome in a group. On the other hand, people who are arrogant and can not accept criticize will definitely be isolated. In other words, listening to others and accepting suggestions are tools to communicate with others. Hence, if everyone of a team are（is？） modest and likely(不太明白likely在这里的这种用法==) to accept criticize, the team will be in consensus and give a fantastic performance in works. Team's success will also result in individual's success（学习了~）.



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However, people can not expect success only by accepting others' suggestions. Opinions of their own are equally significant. What's more, people should regard the path of checking by others a supervisor instead of a corrector. Only devoting themselves to current work and trying their best can help people find their limit. And thus they can improve abilities.) k6 U* ?! @$ C1 w2 h& w6 j




With reasons listed above, a conclusion can be drawn that the willingness of accepting criticize is closely related to the success of a team as well as an individual.

qqweer2007UID：2686919

11# 应小呆
辛苦了。
语病很多啊。我无语。真是见笑了。

冰雪蜂鸟UID：2754485

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement: In a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticizecouldn’t be successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your idea.

These is
(用these的话复数在哪里？如果是复数为什么还是is？应该用It is…)an old saying that"even Homer sometimes nods". As we all know, everyone makes mistakesand accepting criticize help us correct them and ameliorate our own abilities. (这句话有语法问题，everyonemakes mistakes 是一句完整的话，再写一句。尽管有and还是分开更简洁明确。Accepting criticizehelps us correct…) On the contrary, those who cannot accept criticize modestlywill be confronted with (不用被动,直接confront就好) dilemma during the process to success. Several following reasons canhelp support my opinion that accepting criticize is necessary to success.

First of all, correcting mistakes meansprogress and finding mistakes in is a arduous task for ourselves but a easywork for others. It's a typical example when students dealing with reports,articles or homeworks (homework). Students find it rather difficult to checktheir own mistakes but finding mistakes from others' works is pretty simple.
The reason of the phenomenon is that people observethings from different angles and think about things with different mind. So we can drawa conclusion that accepting criticize from others is definitely a shortcut tofind shortages of us. As presented above, correcting mistakes isprogress for people can gain new experiences and skills by negating themselvesand rebuilding themselves. In a nutshell, wise people improve themselves andachieve goals by taking several steps as accepting criticize, finding shortagesand correct them.
这一段观点和论据都非常好的，我也学习了！但是可以不可以重新organize一下段落呢？将橘色部分 “sowe…”作为第一句开门见山，绿色部分的主要内容作为第二句解释主题，然后是前面的例子，最后是后面的总结。只是我个人更倾向于这样的结构啊~

More importantly, in a cooperation of team,accepting criticize is basis of the relationship among team members. Modesty isChinese traditional virtue and accepting others' suggestions is one of theforms of modesty. People who are modest are always welcome in a group. On theother hand, people who are arrogant and cannot accept criticize will definitelybe isolated. In other words, listening to others and accepting suggestions aretools to communicate with others. Hence, if everyone of a team are (is) modesand likely to accept criticize, the team will be in consensus and give afantastic performance in works. Team's success will also result in individual'ssuccess. "

However, people cannot expect success onlyby accepting others' suggestions. Opinions of their own are equallysignificant. What's more, people should regard the path of checking by others asupervisor instead of a corrector. Only devoting themselves to current work andtrying their best can help people find their limit. And thus they can improveabilities.
我认为后连段观点也很好，从individual上升到team，而且文章组织结构也很好！

With reasons listed above, a conclusion canbe drawn that the willingness of accepting criticize is closely related to thesuccess of a team as well as an individual.

冰雪蜂鸟UID：2754485

打错了，清理内容。

qqweer2007UID：2686919

7.18 TPO 7 综合