Superchaos的作文贴……

superchaosUID: 2863434

8月14日交
09.08.07NA      
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.

No matter when and where, people have to make all kinds of choices from daily trifling ones to significant ones that may determine one’s future life. Therefore, to lead children to a more agreeable life, parents should not take the opportunity to pick up the choices for the children; instead, they should allow the children to make their own choices.

For one thing, when encountering significant choices that may determine children’s future study or work, children should be asked to make their own decision. Nowadays in china, it is very common that parents choose the university and the major for their children; leaving no space for children to decide where they are dreaming for or what subject they are interested to pursue. And the consequence could be quite terrible like children having no passion at all towards the predicted major or them wasting time on games rather than study. Therefore, one thing should be considered is that parents should ask and respect their children’s choices. Only in this positive way could guarantee children’s healthy growth and keep them maintain the long time passion for the decisions they make.

On the other hand, instead of taking the responsibilities for the children to make choices, parents should give children all kinds of useful information and some meaningful advices. It is undeniable that parents think everything for their kids, but this over protected behavior may lead their children foster negative characters such as dependence or premature mental. Hence, as both adults and friends, the responsibilities of parents are to provide thoughtful advices and necessary support to ensure children becoming more independent, and sometimes help them understand their situation better, which are essential for children to make right choices.

However, due to immature thinking and lack of necessary experience, children may be blinded because of limited information or some adolescent impulse. Then it is parents who should play a critical role to revise their children’s decision and guide them back to the right direction.

All in all, it is better for children to make choices by themselves, meanwhile, parents should accompany with them, help them, guide them to make the right and unregretful decisions.

superchaosUID: 2863434

This is only a test.

lostsunelfUID: 2760404

帮你改好了，详见附件！

zhuminhappyroseUID: 2517250

楼主改好了，请见附件哈~

我的邮箱：
672479721@qq.com

superchaosUID: 2863434

8月17日
2008.5.16
independently writing: 是telephone 还是television对人类的有more effects

From the advent of the first primitive television decays ago to nowadays the advanced high definition ones, the development of television has undergone an unprecedented progress, which definitely influences people’s all aspects of life. And there is no doubt that television produces far more effects than telephone does.

For one thing, the long history of television guarantees itself the opportunity to influence people’s life from all aspects. After its invention, the popularity of television had become unstoppable. Later every family possessed its own television, which consequently changed people’s habit of entertaining: watching TV became the most welcome way of entertaining. At home, people spend more and more time in front of TV, watching all kinds of programs from latest news happened at home or abroad to various TV series which may attract them totally. At work or school, there is no better way to kill time when break for people to talk about what they watched last night. Compared with all these changes and advantages of television, telephone plays a role merely as a tool to contact with people, which leaves telephone no chance to influence people significantly.

Moreover, it is the ample TV programs that have profound effects to all the people, old or young, male or female. Nowadays these TV programs have been so generous that they can satisfy almost every person’s particular appetite. For young children, there are cartoons or educational programs which are both funny and meaningful for them to have an unforgotten childhood. For the old, the operas and programs about healthy life will definitely let them enjoy their late years’ life. For those who like sports, the special TV stations keep casting the sport events all over the world, providing them the latest and the most exciting shows. In other word, TV programs are indispensable in people’s daily life to make it more colorful and delightful. Comparatively, people use telephone to simply inform messages or news. It should be considered more as a communication tool rather than a living pattern.

Take all in account, we should not neglect some programs may produce negative effects to children or adolescents. Therefore, parents and adults are obligated to prevent kids from being affected by these shows to ensure them a health environment to grow healthily.

All in all, I strongly believe television has far more effects to people than that of telephone.

serena-blueUID: 2811284

From the advent of the first primitive television decays ago(不好意思，这儿没看懂） to nowadays the advanced high definition ones, （这个短语太长了吧）the development of television has undergone an unprecedented progress, which definitely influences people’s all aspects of life. And there is no doubt that television produces far more effects than telephone does.

For one thing, the long history of television guarantees itself the opportunity to influence people’s life from all aspects. After its invention, the popularity of television had become unstoppable. Later every family possessed its own television, which consequently changed people’s habit of entertaining（entertainment): watching TV became the most welcome way of entertaining(entertainment). At home, people spend more and more time in front of TV, watching all kinds of programs from latest news happened at home or abroad to various TV series which may attract them totally. At work or school, there is no better way to kill time when break for people to talk about what they watched last night. Compared with all these changes and advantages of television, telephone plays a role merely as a tool to contact with people, which leaves telephone no chance to influence people significantly.(最后句话，有点太绝对了。。。）

Moreover, it is the ample TV programs that have profound effects to all the people, old or young, male or female. Nowadays these TV programs have been so generous that they can satisfy almost every person’s particular appetite. For young children, there are cartoons or educational programs which are both funny and meaningful for them to have an unforgotten（unforgettable) childhood. For the old, the operas and programs about healthy life will definitely let them enjoy their late(last) years’ life. For those who like sports, the special TV stations keep casting the sport events all over the world, providing them the latest and the most exciting shows. In other word(s), TV programs are indispensable in people’s daily life to make it more colorful and delightful. Comparatively, people use telephone to simply inform(send) messages or news. It should be considered more as a communication tool rather than a living pattern." A6 X5 h- z" P. @"

P
3 M) \% C4 m4 R0 \8 M; ?
Take all in account, we should not neglect some programs may produce negative effects to children or adolescents. Therefore, parents and adults are obligated to prevent kids from being affected by these shows to ensure them a health environment to grow healthily.

in all, I strongly believe television has far more effects to people than that of telephone.
第二段和第三段的论证有点重复，讲电视成为人们的娱乐方式，和电视节目如何如何。。。
没什么其他大的问题了，加油哦

yandong1208UID: 2798280

批改啦~见附件~=]
chaos revised.doc (25 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2010-8-18 13:00:54 上传

下载次数: 6

qsubqUID: 2838781

我要看看别人怎么批判你！

superchaosUID: 2863434

19th AUG
2008.12.5 NA
Do you agree or disagree: Playing sports give you more lessons about the life.

Having been present and developing for centuries, sports activities are playing increasingly significant role in people’s daily life, from enhancing the quality of our bodies to strengthening our awareness of many virtues such as teamwork and never giving up. It is no doubt that playing sports can teach us more lessons about life.

I personally enjoy sports every much and I play a lot of sports activities like football, swimming and basketball. These experiences give me important lessons about how to face my life healthily, bravely and wisely. When I was very young, I spent quite a lot of time kicking football with my little companions. We had no restricted rules about the game, and we simply played for fun, running happily, freely on the ground. Even though a lot of my classmates studied art or piano that time, I grew healthily without much illness and I knew a lot of little friends. When I was in high school, I began to love swimming. I still remembered clearly the feeling at that moment when I first stepped into the pool. The strong pressure pressed my chest and I felt like I was going to die painfully. But, after several days’ practice, I managed to overwhelm this fear and I succeed, learnt how to swim, most importantly I learnt how to be brave when facing any difficulties either in my study or life.

Thinking about these activities I took from years ago till now, I rank the most influenced lesson I ever learnt from playing sports is that I have learnt how to be wise.
Basketball is a rather intense game which requires both strong body conditions and fluent teamwork. From simply shooting the balls to competing the fierce games, I learnt the essence of the game gradually. When you are involving the match, you have to be smart, wise enough to find the weakness of your competitor and amplify your partners’ potentials as well. And I find the basic principle also applies to our daily life---be wise. Only by this can we really experience our life more utterly.

It is acknowledged that when people start to work less and less time will be allocated for sports activities. This is irreversible for most of people, but not for me. Because of these meaningful lessons I have learnt from sports, I will definitely continue my enthusiasm for sports, and be health, be brave, be wise towards my life.

ArantUID: 2814596

原来你也看幸运星啊...
かがみ最高！こなた俺の嫁！

superchaosUID: 2863434

8月21日交
(09.01.17 NA )Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

People have to eat every single day, however, how often do you eat while you are watching Ads that attempt to persuade you to buy certain kinds of food? How often would you think about the plot in the Ads when deciding what to eat?
The answers are obviously no and I don’t regard advertising has any connection to people’s unhealthy eating habits.

First of all, it is the irregular eating schedule that causes people bad habits for eating. It is not uncommon that people rush to work with fast food on their hands every morning, plugging food into mouths while running, even though they may have recognized the harm they are doing to their stomach. Good chances are that days by this bad eating habit will render them into poor digestion system. Moreover, the phenomenon that people work very late without having their meals at regular time is another main reason contributing to the unhealthy eating habits. Under heavy work pressure, people often have to work for continuous hours and, consequently, hardly can they realize they haven’t taken any food for quite long hours till they cannot bear the limitation of hunger. That people don’t eat regularly each day is definitely the significant factor that is responsible for the establishment of people’s unhealthy eating habits.

What’s more, people’s personalities should be considered when analyzing the reasons of building bad eating habits. It is acknowledged that people’s appetites differ from person to person. When choosing what to eat, different people have their own particular decisions. Take me as an example. Having been taught thousands of times the benefits of eating vegetables, however, I still hesitate to order this healthy and green food when eating. I know I may be lack of certain kinds of vitamin but I just don’t like eating vegetables. I believe there are many other people like me who don’t eat vegetables much, for which we have no explicit reasons. Personality is such a mysterious thing that cannot be explained clearly.

From what have discussed above, there is hardly any connection between Ad and the factors of developing people’s unhealthy eating habits. It is people themselves that should be responsible for the establishment of bad eating habits.

jywbabyUID: 2874405

12# superchaos
不好意思 权限还不够传附件
People have to eat every single day, however, how often do you eat while you are watching Ads that attempt to persuade you to buy certain kinds of food(这两句个人认为逻辑上没有广义的对立用however连接 是不是作者的高深用法 我不太了解)? How often would you think about the plot in the Ads when deciding what to eat(是广告的情节么吸引顾客么)?
The answers are obviously no and I don’t regard advertising has any connection to people’s unhealthy eating habits.(ragard后面貌似不可以加从句，为什么不用think这种意思直接又准确的词语？). A6 y7 B' D* H
% ?$ e# W; }3 m& k- q: A
First of all, it is the irregular eating schedule that causes people’s bad habits for eating. It is not uncommon (为什么不直接用common 是让读者多思考么？)that people rush to work with fast food on their hands every morning, plugging(这个词这么用合适么 我觉得stuffing更贴切和形象) food into mouths while running, even though they may have recognized the harm they are doing to their stomach(亮点句,nice). Good chances are that days by this bad eating habit will render them into poor digestion system(render这样用合适么，是否可以使用一些读者易懂的词语来表示). Moreover, the phenomenon that people work very late without having their meals at regular time is another main reason contributing to the unhealthy eating habits. Under heavy work pressure, people often have to work for continuous hours and, consequently, hardly can they realize they haven’t taken any food for quite long hours till they cannot bear the limitation of hunger(倒的不错！不过limitation of hunger这种用法我没见过，不知道合不合适). That people don’t eat regularly each day is definitely the significant factor that is responsible for the establishment of people’s unhealthy eating habits.7 M# I+ U; k3 l0 w) z9 i4 w

What’s more, people’s personalities should be considered when analyzing the reasons of building bad eating habits. It is acknowledged that people’s appetites differ from person to person. When choosing what to eat, different people have their own particular decisions. Take me as(The story of myself is) an good example. Having been taught thousands of times the benefits of eating vegetables, however, I still hesitate to order this healthy and green food when eating. I know I may be lack of certain kinds of vitamin but I just don’t like eating vegetables. I believe there are many other people like me who don’t eat vegetables much, for which we have no explicit reasons. Personality is such a mysterious thing that cannot be explained clearly.2 }1 N; S% L: b. f0 w5 e1 f% Z
From what have discussed above, there is hardly any connection between Ads and the factors of developing people’s unhealthy eating habits. It is people themselves that should be responsible for the establishment of bad eating habits.
写的很不错 句子也很华丽 学习了。另外善意提醒下，写作的句子不一定每句都要用很难得句型和很奇怪的词组来显示难度，语言是用来沟通的而不是用来设置障碍的。

jywbabyUID: 2874405

谢谢你的修改非常有用
BTW 我在word里面给你改的 粘到这里就成这样了 颜色也没了 不好意思啊

dxjjUID: 2885844

I've graded your "advertising" passage. It deserves a 5 although 4.5 is a possibility. No need to improve it.

Cheers,
D