作文瓶颈了

shirley072UID: 2712200

觉得自己写作遇到瓶颈了，现在基本上要40分钟，一旦限制时间后，词汇的应用就很少了，且句式什么的不丰富了。
这一篇是前段时间写的，肯定是超时写的，不知道内容上和那些关键地方被我忽视了，请赐教啊

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older (15 to 18 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Parents always consider their children as little babies, even when they grown up to 15 to 18 year-old. However, I hold that teenagers, especially as old as aged 15 to 18, should form their own ideas. Thus, parents or other adult relatives are not supposed to make important decisions for their older (15 to 18 year-old) teenage children.

In China, majority children spend their precious 3 years from aged 15 to 18 in high schools. The most significant decision may impact their future lives is to choose an appropriate college or make a decision of going to college or not. I dare to say that is actually the first decision we are about to make, for it possibly leads a variety of living ways. Clearly, the lives belong to teenagers', then the choices will go to their hands. Even some parents claim that they've got abundance experiences, and they know better how to deal with the modern society through learning particular skills in college. However they only adhere to their own appreciations. According to the different circumstance while growing up, such as tremendous change of science and technology, rising material level conditions, or promoted education in psychology, teenagers may figure out a new way leading to success without attending college which seems not to be traditional. Every road reaches Roma, I deem that teenager's intention should be respected.

Nevertheless, ages between 15 to 18 years-old are also regarded as a rebellious times for teenagers. Once parents insist to do the decision, for example, they set a goal of being a doctor for their children, and force they to pick up a medical major by neglecting the real thing their children hope to do, like art. The consequence probably occurs, after a failure in persuasion of giving up the difficult object, a teenager may adopt another measure to oppose that, by learning bad on purpose, talking with hatred attitude or so. If this event comes to an introvert child, a more depressive mood could influence him. Undertaking a long-time enduring, an introvert child may crush in the end. For this situation, suicide is the worst behavior should be avoided.

Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I maintain that parents or relatives should not play a crucial role in making important decisions for their older children. The only way parents will help is to be guiders who assist their children to find their own manner of lives.

xiaolinlhxUID: 2302833

40分钟一般是多少字啊

shirley072UID: 2712200

正常是40min370多个字奥

ivyafter17UID: 2749816

我觉得LZ还是要限时练，即使限时会出现你说的那种词汇句式不丰富的情况。
考试的时候也是限时，现在不强迫自己在规定时间内写完考试的时候怎么办~
我是1.16T，考前一共写过4篇独立写作大概。从我个人经历看，第一篇第二篇不限时，1小时多能写出400多字，3、4两篇是考前那天晚上限时间写的，两篇连着写的，一篇420，第二篇480，写着写着就有灵感了。
然后1.16考场上敲出了550+，自己也很震惊。
所以，一定一定限时练！人都是逼出来的！:)

shirley072UID: 2712200

哇，楼上的好厉害，基础肯定很好呢
我限时练的时候增长速度好慢一个

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

卷卷的作文都不错的，在小组里很用功。加油个。考试时实力会更加爆发

shirley072UID: 2712200

谢谢翠花斑竹的鼓励:loveliness: 我还要使劲加油

6# 我是chineselady

mpromanusUID: 2565872

Parents always consider their children as little babies, even when they (Since you use 'their' in front, readers will assume that this 'they' refers to the same subject as 'their' does - that'll be the 'parents', which obviously is not what you meant.) have grown up to 15 to 18 year-old. However, I hold that teenagers, especially as old as aged 15 to 18, should form their own ideas (Forming an idea can be different from making an decision. Plainly put, you can think 'apple pies are good', that's forming an idea, but not a decision; if you think 'I need an apple pie and I'll go out to buy one', that's called a decision.). Thus, parents or other adult relatives are not supposed to make important decisions for their older (15 to 18 year-old) teenage children.

In China, majority of children spend their precious 3 years from aged 15 to 18 in high schools. The most significant decision that may impact their future lives is to choose an appropriate college or to make a decision of going to college or not. I dare to say that is actually the first decision we (Who? I thought you were talking about 'them' children.) are about to make, for it possibly leads to a variety of ways of living ways. Clearly, the lives belong to teenagers', then the choices will go to their hands. Even some parents even claim that they've got abundant experiences, and they know better how to deal with the modern society through learning particular skills in college. However they only adhere to their own appreciations?. According to the different circumstances while growing up, such as tremendous change of in science and technology, rising material level conditions?, or promoted education? in psychology, (I'm basically not getting any of this sentence so far. I can guess at what you mean, of course, but your examiner probably won't be able to.) teenagers may figure out a new way leading to success without attending college which seems not to be traditional. Every road reaches Rome (This is not the correct version of 条条大路通罗马..Please google 'All roads lead to Rome', and please at least spell 'Rome' correctly..=.=), I deem that a teenager's intention should be respected. (Personally, I would expect a bit more of generalization here, something that doesn't only pertain to your example of choosing a college. Your example is well written, but you also need to establish a certain degree of generalization, a topic, that condenses the 'idea' behind such an example. The meaning of 条条大路通罗马 can certainly be applied to other choices in life, so it is a 'big' concept of making decisions in order to achieve a certain goal of success. Therefore you can say what you're discussing here is a generalized concept of a particular kind of decision making, but the principle could be the same for other kinds of decisions. Such generalizations help user to see that you understand both the larger picture and the details. It generates a sense of well-rounded logic development.)

Nevertheless, ages between 15 to 18 years-old are also regarded as a rebellious times for teenagers. Once parents insist to do the decision-making, for example, they set a goal of being a doctor for their children, and force them to pick up a medical major by neglecting the real thing their children hope to do, like art. The consequence that probably occurs, after a failure in persuasion of giving up the difficult object?, is that a teenager may adopt another measure to oppose that? (What exactly is 'that'?), by learning badly on purpose, talking with hatred attitude or so. If this event comes happens to an introvert child, a more depressive mood could influence him. Undertaking a long-time enduring?, an introvert child may crush in the end. For this situation, suicide is the worst behavior that should be avoided. (Yeah, well, that's serious, but how does this relate to decision making anyway? You need to go back to the topic in question like you did for the previous paragraph.)

Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I maintain that parents or relatives should not play a crucial role in making important decisions for their older children. The only way parents will help is to be guiders who assist their children to find their own manner of lives.(You didn't mention this at all in the essay. Avoid raising new arguments in the conclusion by doing what Chinese students love to do - you'd call it 升华 - because it makes the essay appear unfinished and confuses the readers as to what exactly the purpose of this essay is. Readers would think 'I thought we were talking about WHY parents shouldn't make decisions for these children! Why are we suddenly talking about WHAT they should do? How does this relate to the reasoning?'. The important factor to consider here is: does this 升华 help your reader to see better and more clearly why your opinion is valid? Usually, as far as my experience goes, is does not, and it's usually the other way round i.e. the reasoning makes the reader see why the 升华 is true... So I always tell people not to do 升华 at all because it's difficult to pull off, and ending the essay on a clean, simple conclusion without any 升华 is perfectly okay if the body of your essay is substantial enough.)

总结：

没看出你的语法词汇句式有太大问题，除了莫名其妙的中式表达比较多之外。。倒是有越往后写越赶的感觉，赶着结束就顾不上好好发展逻辑了。。

这篇来说主要是第二个论点没有发展完整，最后没有回到题目去联系，这样子是不能算一个有说服力的观点的。另外就是针对结论段，不要搞升华，因为一搞升华经常容易扯出文章没讲到的东西来，结论段就开了个口子漏水了。只要结论对文章里的主要论点总结得干净，完整，不用升华也不会扣你分，有升华也不会帮你加分，因为反正你都没展开，不会显得你思考多全面的。。

我个人更看重写出正确、清晰、条理分明的文章，而词汇和句式的变化，是随着能把话讲清楚这个能力而来的。当你会仔细考虑一句话怎么讲才能把自己所想的精炼、准确、最大化地传达给读者的时候，你自然会用心地选择自己的用词、关联和句式的组织。但是如果你只会写华丽的格式句，没有足够的表意能力，读者从你的文章中得到的信息依然是有限的。