0910G【Try Best】第一小组 argument173 by GG86_Fly

GG86_FlyUID: 2641450

TOPIC: ARGUMENT173 - The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.

"Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers."


This argument suggests that decreasing emphasis on international news and refraining from displaying such stories on the magazine covers should be implemented to change the situation of the poorest-selling magazine issues. However, the arguer could not account for other possible explanations for the poor-selling situation, and the reason cited in this argument lends little support, thus makes the suggestion untenable.

First of all, the argument fails to indicate that the international news stories were the cause for the relatively poor sales of the magazines. However, there would be other explanations. Maybe people don't buy it because of other contents in the magazine, not the cover stories. It is entirely possible that several issues may sell well, while others with the international news that could not attract people lead the whole sale condition to a poor situation. Without ruling out possible alternatives to the poor sales, the argument cannot ascribe the poor sales to the international news stories.

Secondly, the reason that competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news lends little support to the arguer’s suggestion. The argument does not give us any information about the change after they decreases the number of international cover stories. If the sales situation is increasing, it would indicate that the international news stories are the cause of the poor sales situation. But if the sales number is still decreasing, it would make no sense to this argument.

Thirdly, the arguer cites the increased cost of maintaining foreign bureaus to report on international news as an additional reason to the suggestion. However, the arguer fails to convince us that the cost is too high to afford it. Moreover, even if they use the money to other news, such as entertainment news or domestic news, it can not ensure that they will get a better respond.

In conclusion, the argument has some flaws as it stands. To justify the argument, the arguer should convince us that the poor-selling situation is due to the international news stories, and the better respond is got after their competing mews-magazines have made the change. To better evaluate this argument, we would also know whether it is a good choice that decreasing the cost of international news and use it in somewhere else can get a better payback than in international news.

nlhustUID: 2404239

This argument suggests that decreasing emphasis on international news and refraining from displaying such stories on the magazine covers should be implemented to change the situation of the poorest-selling magazine issues（这句话怎么理解？首先，situation可以这么用吗？其次，已经是poorest-selling magazine Issues了，它的situation怎么change呢？如果向后面那个那样说还行，但我还是不知道能不能表达为poor-selling situation，google上没搜到。。）. However, the arguer could not account for other possibleexplanations for the poor-selling situation, and the reason cited in thisargument lends little support, thus makes the suggestion untenable.（这句话貌似说了很多攻击点，其实就是什么都没说的样子）

First of all, the argument fails to indicate that the international news stories were the cause for the relatively poor sales of the magazines. However, there would be other explanations.（这一句为什么用However开头？与前文有转折或对比的关系吗？） Maybe people don't buy it because of other contents in the magazine, not the cover stories. It is entirely possible that several issues may sell well, while others with the international news that could not attract people lead the whole sale condition to a poor situation. (前面说可能不是封面故事导致销量少，而这一句中说有可能某些卖的比较好，而另外一些有不吸引人的国际新文的卖的不好而导致整体销量差。这一句难道是前一句中所诉问题的一种可能性？这一句中到底哪些对应封面故事，哪些对应other contents？还有the whole sale conditions 是怎么样的原文中并没有提到吧？感觉跳跃性太大，有点看不明白了。)Without ruling out possible alternatives to the poor sales, the argument cannot ascribe the poor sales to the international news stories.

这一段论述的不太清晰，起码我觉得写的是不明不白了啊。我仅仅是看到作者说出有其他可能性会导致销量下降，但作者并没有给出令人信服的它因，这样一来，最后那句总结句就更是令人觉得郁闷了。

Secondly, the reason that competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devoted to international news lends little support to the arguer’s suggestion. The argument does not give us any information about the change after they decreases（decreased） the number of international cover stories. If the sales situation is increasing(还能这样说？？这种搭配好别扭。), it would indicate that the international news stories are the cause of thepoor sales situation（绝对了点，就算涨了也应该只是may be the cause of... 吧）. But if the sales number is still decreasing, it (it指代什么？) would make no sense to this argument.

这一段说的是由于不知道结果，所以不知道其他竞争杂志的改革是否有用，理由很好；这个点还可以从Newsbeat与其它竞争杂志的差异说起，然后人家适用的对自己不一定有用。

Thirdly, the arguer cites the increased cost of maintaining foreign bureaus to report on international news as an additional reason to the suggestion. However,the arguer fails to convince us that the cost is too high to afford it.（这个感觉不能成为反驳的理由，难道一定要cannot afford 了才减少报道量吗？如果已经无法支付这些费用了的地步了的话感觉破产的可能性比较大了啊。文中的意思也应该是太贵了报道划不来而已吧？） Moreover, even if they use the money to other news, such as entertainment news or domestic news, it can not ensure that they will get a better respond.（的确是这样的，但没有展开说明，没有给出证据的理由给人的感觉很空洞，说服力不强）

这一段的点找的很对，但是所举的反驳的理由不是很好。

In conclusion, the argument has some flaws as it stands. To justify the argument, the arguer should convince us that the poor-selling situation is due to the international news stories, and the better respond is got after their competing mews-magazines have made（是否有时态问题？had made?） the change. To better evaluate this argument, we would also know whether it is a good choice that decreasing the cost ofinternational news and use it in somewhere else can get a better payback thanin international news.(最后一句的两点有点重复，而且读起来有可能出现断句错误，反正我刚刚读了几遍，也可能是我脑袋不太清醒了。。)


整篇文章每个错误都找到了，用以陈述的理由大部分也是很恰当的，但是有些没有进行展开或这没有举出具体的例子，从而使得文章看起来不是那么的令人信服了。感觉这篇文章写的没有之前的用心，模板套用的有点多，或者是我的错觉？？

另外，关于cannot的用法，可以看一下这些 http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cannot
                                                      http://www.alexfiles.com/cannot.shtml
                                                       http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutspelling/cannot

GG86_FlyUID: 2641450

2# nlhust
对于你给我Argument的批评，我接受了，我最近看了很多范文，可能想尽快找到自己的模板，所以套用的比较明显一点了，套用模板确实可以节省时间，但你们很明显就发现这种痕迹，我也觉得这么早就模仿不是个好方法，希望能给大家当个教训，尽量在写出自己风格之后再形成自己的模板。

nlhustUID: 2404239

嗯，这个要慢慢来的，我觉得模板不是刻意找出来的，而是写着写着就成了自己的套路。版上都是说前期可以套用别人的模板，熟悉后就可以脱离模板了。你应该已经远远超过了熟悉的程度了，所以加油写出自己的风格吧！
我也要加油了，很多东西想说又说不出来，所以173前两段的反驳理由就写成那样了，看了你们的文章学到了很多，我要努力增强自己的表达能力啊。。

heliappleUID: 2621347

1# GG86_Fly
This argument suggests that decreasing emphasis on international news and refraining from displaying such stories on the magazine covers should be implemented to change the situation of the poorest-selling magazine issues. However, the arguer could not (does not) account for other possible explanations for the poor-selling situation, and the reason cited in this argument lends little support, thus makes the suggestion untenable.

First of all, the argument fails to indicate that the international news stories were the cause for the relatively poor sales of the magazines. However, there would be other explanations. Maybe people don't buy it because of other contents in the magazine, not the cover stories. It is entirely possible that several issues may sell well, while others with the international news that could not attract people lead the whole sale condition to a poor situation. Without ruling out possible alternatives to the poor sales, the argument cannot ascribe the poor sales to the international news stories.
这一段似乎并没有给出alternatives 的理由，所以论述的有些不充分

Secondly, the reason that competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news lends little support to the arguer’s suggestion. The argument does not give us any information about the change after they decreases the number of international cover stories. If the sales situation is increasing, it would indicate that the international news stories are the cause of the poor sales situation. But if the sales number is still decreasing, it would make no sense to this argument. 即使国际新闻作为封面的期刊刊数变少，而其销量增加了，也不代表销量和国际新闻为封面有密切关系。这一点不就是我们需要驳斥的吗？

Thirdly, the arguer cites the increased cost of maintaining foreign bureaus to report on international news as an additional reason to the suggestion. However, the arguer fails to convince us that the cost is too high to afford it. Moreover, even if they use the money to other news, such as entertainment news or domestic news, it can not ensure that they will get a better respond.投入和产出是否成正比，应该是楼主想在这一段表达的意思吧，但是没有说清楚

In conclusion, the argument has some flaws as it stands. To justify the argument, the arguer should convince us that the poor-selling situation is due to the international news stories, and the better respond is got after their competing mews-magazines have made the change. To better evaluate this argument, we would (should) also know whether it is a good choice that decreasing the cost of international news and use it (表述不明)in somewhere else can get a better payback than in international news.