Argument 1 第一次写AW的文章，套用5.5 求大神帮忙修改啊！

李进加油UID: 3326543

[1] Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean. [Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.]

In this argument the author cites that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palea because of archaeologists' recently discovering such a “Palean” basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea .To justify this conclusion the author points out that the Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Palean could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. I find this argument specious on several grounds.
     First, the author assumes that no Palean boats have been found,but no evidence is provided that boats is not excited ever in Palea. Maybe it has not been found by archaeologists. And on accurate evidence shows that the Palean have no ability to build boats , or they have no 挖凿工具 such as ........Maybe these evidence cannot justify that the Palean have the ability to build a boat, but it may be the evidence that the Palean have the ability and skills to build a boats. Lacking such evidence the author cannot simply convince me that the Palean have no boats.
     Secondly, the author's position that the Brim River is very deep and broad precludes the possibility that it remains unchanged from the ancient to nowadays. Yet the author fails to provide assurances that the Brim River stay between Palea and Lithos when the Palean lives here. Perhaps it is just a land linking this two village, and the river is shaped after .... And perhaps the Brim River is low and narrow. Lacking this evidence the anthor cannot reasonably conclude that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.
     Thirdly，the author assumes that these baskets cannot be carried by the Palean to the Lithos, there is no evidence is showed that the basket cannot be taken by the river. Perhaps it is rushed by a flood, or it is carried by some animals such an the dogs or something else. Without rolling out these possibilities , the author cannot make a conclusion that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.
   Fourthly, even assuming that the Palean have no access to boats, the author falsely assumes the Lithos have no ability or skills to build boats. Perhaps the Lithos could have crossed the Brim River and take the baskets with boats. In short, without any evidence that the recommended course of action will be enough to prevent the predicted problems, the author’s conclusion remains dubious at best.
In sun, as it stands the argument is wholly unpersuasive. To bolster it that author provide the evidence that the Palean have no ability and skills to build boast, and the Brim River has been remained unchanged. To better assess the argument it would be useful to assume evidence that people in the village across the Brim River have no ability or skills to build boats. Also useful would be information about the likelihood that the basket was not drift to the other side of the river accidentally.
     


求大神修改，我要杀8G，一点点的努力！

李进加油UID: 3326543

可以帮我修改发给我：373098336@qq.com

dennis_szsyUID: 3133539

你确定你follow the instruction了吗？我没找到哦... what specific evidence is needed, 你虽然指出有问题的地方，但没指出哪些 specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument

dennis_szsyUID: 3133539

最好按照要求再写一次吧，现在作文跟以前不一样了，按以前那种写法可能考试吃大亏咯

李进加油UID: 3326543

dennis_szsy 发表于 2012-7-23 20:48
最好按照要求再写一次吧，现在作文跟以前不一样了，按以前那种写法可能考试吃大亏咯

意思是要体现specific evidence?

李进加油UID: 3326543

dennis_szsy 发表于 2012-7-23 20:46
你确定你follow the instruction了吗？我没找到哦... what specific evidence is needed, 你虽然指出有问题 ...

我好像点了一下

李进加油UID: 3326543

dennis_szsy 发表于 2012-7-23 20:46
你确定你follow the instruction了吗？我没找到哦... what specific evidence is needed, 你虽然指出有问题 ...

我好像点了一下