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lovesasa0820
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2010-8-7 16:08:12 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

8.7
Depending on personal experience,personality type and emotion concern,different people hold diverse opinion about the statement that whether the college students should take part-time jobs when they are in university.Some claim that students should focus on their college study rather than taking other kinds of jobs outside school.while others state that it is necessary for the students in the university to contact society by having some different part-time jobs.as far as I concern,I support the later perspective for following reasons.

To begin with,having various part-time jobs can provide abundant experience to a fresh-man who has never been in a complex society.for instance,a friend of mine has been a waitress in a famous restaurant called Fish Harbor during her summer holiday,she said she has gained practical working experience that she never learnt in school,the most precious one is that every international company should has its own Enterprise culture and also should spread the culture to every staff in the company.She thought this two-mouth working experience brought her the unaccepted achievement that what the real environment of a successful corporation is and how to be a useful staff.

What`s more,taking various jobs in college also plays a important roles in the student`s personal career .It is common that many college students feel confused about their future life.By having four-year study in university,students will realize that the subject they take do not fit them very well,but at the same time,they may also have no idea about they really want to take as their long-life career.It is obvious that doing part-time job can help you understand what you exactly want.For example,my sister,a college students,took touch with psychology first time when she had a part-time job in a hospital,then she was attracted by the magical and wonderful subject and finally decided to be a psychologist in future.It is a gorgeous case that indicate people might find their persue by having part-time jobs.
-
Although I agree that taking part-time jobs may have some disadvantage,it is no doubt that young people can meet some new challenge and opportunities through doing part-time jobs,everyone expects a colourful life and do not want it become tedium.

To sum up,it is sagacious that students should spend their spare time in part-time jobs,and the unforgettable experience will offer them valuable lesson of their long-term career ,even a unique memory during their lifetime.

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作文本

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venusmiya
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沙发

发表于 2010-8-7 17:25:25 |只看该作者

随便逛逛，觉得楼主写得挺不错的，开头直接有力，各段例子也挺合适。

来学习了

我要用意念的力量求包养

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mseyj
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板凳

发表于 2010-8-8 11:00:49 |只看该作者

Depending on personal experience,personality type and emotion concern,different people hold diverse opinion about the statement that whether the college students should take part-time jobs when they are in university.Some claim that students should focus on their college study rather than taking other kinds of jobs outside school.（无句号）while others state that it is necessary for the students in the university to contact society by having some different part-time jobs.as far as I concern,I support the later perspective for following reasons.

To begin with,having various part-time jobs can provide abundant experience to a fresh-man who has never been in a complex society.for instance,a friend of mine has been a waitress in a famous restaurant called Fish Harbor during her summer holiday,she said she has(had) gained practical working experience that she never learnt in school,the most precious one is that every international company should has(have?) its own Enterprise culture and also should spread the culture to every staff in the company.She thought this two-mouth working experience brought her the unaccepted（不合格的？） achievement that what the real environment of a successful corporation is and how to be a useful staff.3 j例子详述的很好 q# c' H) Q, j2 [( v" I o0 h

What`s more,taking various jobs in college also plays a important roles in the student`s personal career .It is common that many college students feel confused about their future life.By having four-year study in university,students will realize that the subject they take do not fit them very well,but at the same time,they may also have no idea about what they really want to take as their long-life career.It is obvious that doing part-time job can help you them? understand what you exactly want.For example,my sister,a college students,took touch with psychology first time when she had a part-time job in a hospital,then she was attracted by the magical and wonderful subject and finally decided to be a psychologist in future.It is a gorgeous case that indicate people might find their persue by having part-time jobs.(有分析有例子，好 I, v7 c+ e( C- I" s6 z6 B5 I7 l
-
Although I agree that taking part-time jobs may have some disadvantage?,it is no doubt that young people can meet some new challenge and opportunities through doing part-time jobs,everyone expects a colourful life and do not want it become tedium.-s, I! c/ A3 ^, D j
' L' d6 G5 R+
To sum up,it is sagacious that students should spend their spare time in part-time jobs,and the unforgettable experience will offer them valuable lesson of their long-term career ,even a unique memory during their lifetime. 貌似整篇文章未提 disadvantage?

楼主的结构不错，句式多变，词汇量看着也大。有点issue感觉了，连sagacious都出来了。
是篇好文章！
只是能说一两点disadvantage可能更好

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zyxr90
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地板

发表于 2010-8-8 14:16:05 |只看该作者

Depending on personal experience,personality type and emotion concern,different people hold diverse opinion about the statement that whether the college students should take part-time jobs when they are in university.Some claim that students should focus on their college study rather than taking other kinds of jobs outside school.while others state that it is necessary for the students in the university to contact society by having some different part-time jobs.as far as I concern,I support the later perspective for following reasons.

To begin with,having various part-time jobs can provide abundant experience to a fresh-man who has never been in a complex society.for instance,a friend of mine has been a waitress in a famous restaurant called Fish Harbor during her summer holiday,she said she has gained practical working experience that she never learnt in school,the most precious one is that every international company should has its own Enterprise culture and also should spread the culture to every staff in the company.She thought this two-mouth working experience brought her the unaccepted achievement that what the real environment of a successful corporation is and how to be a useful staff.

What`s more,taking various jobs in college also plays a important roles in the student`s personal career .It is common that many college students feel confused about their future life.By having four-year study in university,students will realize that the subject they take do not fit them very well,but at the same time,they may also have no idea about they really want to take as their long-life career.It is obvious that doing part-time job can help you understand what you exactly want.For example,my sister,a college students,took touch with psychology first time when she had a part-time job in a hospital,then she was attracted by the magical and wonderful subject and finally decided to be a psychologist in future.It is a gorgeous case that indicate people might find their persue by having part-time jobs.
-
Although I agree that taking part-time jobs may have some disadvantage,it is no doubt that young people can meet some new challenge and opportunities through doing part-time jobs,everyone expects a colourful life and do not want it become tedium.（这里最好能说一下disadvantages是什么，将这句移到结尾说一下虽然有disadvantages，但是advantage更多，更好）
To sum up,it is sagacious that students should spend their spare time in part-time jobs,and the unforgettable experience will offer them valuable lesson of their long-term career ,even a unique memory during their lifetime.
至于其他的以我这水平也看不出来，楼主见谅

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lovesasa0820
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5楼

发表于 2010-8-8 23:25:54 |只看该作者

谢谢大家的指教，尽力就好啦
大家共同进步啊

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lovesasa0820
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6楼

发表于 2010-8-12 20:14:30 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 lovesasa0820 于 2010-8-12 20:16 编辑

If you don`t make sure the other people(especially influent people or your employers)know your strength and assignments,you will not get successful in your life.

There is no denying that get successful is a major aim in the life of most people.Depending on personal adventure,personality type and emotion concern,different people will hold diverse views on the methods that are possible for a desirable person to approach and obtain success.Some state that it is necessary to show your strength and assignment to some influent people like your boss or employer.However,the other has the opposite idea of this perspective.As far as I concern,I definitely agree with the latter view for the following reasons.

To begin with,it is a truism that the definitions of success must vary in the mind of different people,for instance,painters will regard a well known drawing painted by themselves as their whole life`s success,workers will feel successful if they have a dream promotions or get a high praise from the employs.In principle, is not completely right to claim that only when others witness the strength and assignments of people,can they reach the peak of success,because different kinds of jobs and career need different types of success.

What`s more,strength and assignments are not the only reflections of success,there are still many other powerful materials which can show your abilities and faculty,like the communication skills,professional technologies and even your falling.For instance,my sister,who is a stubborn girl,has wrote her novel for 2 years and at the same time has to face the heavy stress from her parents.Because she is a stubborn person and always stick to her own decision,nowadays her first long-term novel,which named Lianhua., is very famous in the China. It is a case that can approve us that showing other things to the influent people also can lead you to a road that connected to huge success.

Although in some companies,the employers will observe and measure the assignments and strength as the major criterion of promotion,there are still some relevant aspects.Since nowadays,employers will be measured from a full-corner perspective,some abstract matter also will be taken into consideration,such as the personalities or even the outlooks.For instance,a decent appearance also is a significant aspect of a worker who receive and serve customers.

To sum up,it is sagacious that people should show more of their personalities,not just assignments and strength, to both the other people and themselves.As an old saying referred,"it is a hard and prolong way that enter to the gorgeous success. ",every one of us has to make effort and experience incredible hardship if you want to see the colourful light of the success.

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