Minori的作文本，希望大家不要手下留情。。。

minori1207UID：2886626

是10月17号的那场，今天开始练习大作文。
坚持每天都写。
待会上传第一篇。

minori1207UID：2886626

Nowadays, with the development of modern society, whether children should go to college for further education has become a hot issue. People have differing reasons on why students should have to learn further education in college. In my opinion, reasons why children should have college learning are based on the following aspects.
First of all, generally speaking, a college education plays an important role in a person's success. In colleges or universities, students can learn advanced levels of knowledge and skills which can not obtain by their family education or social experience. These skills should be learned for them because of the future professions. For example, if a person wants to start his career in financial company, how can he complete with others whose major are financial or accounting?
As a result, I think the knowledge which obtained from colleges or universities is necessary to students who want to gain successful professional careers.
Second, it is true that children can enlarge their circles when they are having college's lives. Unlike high schools, they will meet different people who come from different regions, even different countries. As a result, they can share their experiences which may dramatically different from their own. Besides, according to a lately research, conducted by the China Post, after polling thousands of postgraduates, shows that students in the same colleges, they are likely to be partners when they should start their own business career. Lots of examples can back to my point, like Bill Gates and ....., they were classmates when they were students in Harvard University, and later on, they started their own business, Microsoft.
Third, by attending the colleges, students can learn more values and principles which not from doctrine but from real life experiences. They must be responsible for all their livings. They will become more mature and independent. Besides, by working with others, they can gain the experience that how to communicate with different people with various purposes. Furthermore, they should be persistent and hardworking, because of the academic environment. Like Balzac and Beethoven, devoting their lives to the fields which they like best.

On the other hand, admittedly, a college education really has some drawbacks. For example, the people who come from underprivileged family may entail big financial burden. However, more and more governments and schools provide subsidies and part time jobs to the students who can not pay the tuitions and fees. As a result, I don't think it is a big problem to worry about.

Based on the above reasons, I think, the importance of attending the college education is obvious. Getting a university is a very important key to students' success.

minori1207UID：2886626

这篇感觉写得不是一般的差啊…………囧……

In the past time, parents do play an important role in children's decision making, such as they will choose their children's majors when children are applying for the colleges. Now, more and more people have a conflicting view on this issue: Whether parents should help their children to decide their futures or just let their children make own decisions. In my opinion, parent is an important factor in decision-making but not the determiner.

Firstly, generally speaking, helping children to make decisions may have a negative impact on children's future development. They may rely on their parents excessively because they have lost some important abilities which can help them survive in this cruel society, such as independence and communication skills. Without parents' helping and protection, they don't have the abilities which can help them to solve the difficulties that do exist in the society. Sometimes, parents should not only tell their children what should do and how to do, but tell them why this should be done in this way. Parents should teach the children to have a kind of independent thinking ability which can help children based on this ability to make their own decision if it is necessary.

Second, the decisions that made by parents sometimes can be wrong or mislead their children. For instance, Bill Gates dropped out from Harvard without negotiating with their parents, and he operated his own company Microsoft with his good friend. Eventually, his achievement shows that he made a right decision for himself. To some extent, children really know what they want or how to do to achieve their goals. They can be responsible for their future if they are mature enough to make decisions wisely. Parents at this kind of circumstance should trust their children and support what their children done.

Third, letting children make their own decision can motivated children hard working and persistence. For example, Balzac devoted 15 hours a day in writing. Finally his more than 90 novels have collective as The Human Comedy. What if his parents decided to let Balzac to learn singing? Or let Beethoven be a writer when he was a little child? If parents support children's reasonable ideas, they will be motivated by their own interests. What's more, children may devote more to their own choices. They want to prove their decisions are right because these are their own business.

Admittly, some children who can not identify clearly what is right or wrong should let their parents help them in decision making, because children are likely be misled by some critical or statements. Parents should make the decisions for their children at this circumstance, which can avoid their children from some dangerous situations and uncertainties.

To sum up, children actually can make their decisions by their own under some specific conditions. However, children are easily misled by some factors when they are too young to understand situations. As a result, whether parents should make decisions for their children or not should depends on different situations.

alexanderheUID：2491856

Nowadays, with the development of modern society, whether children should go to college for further education has become a hot issue.（开头实在太模板+流俗了吧。上大学的难道还是children吗？做决定的是他们自己，而不是父母。建议改成：Since knowledge and information are growing in importance in the modern world, people pay more attention to the issue of whether they should attend college.） People have differing reasons on why students should have to learn further education in college. （这句有几个语病，建议改成：Views on this issue vary from person to person）In my opinion, reasons why children should have college learning are based on the following aspects. (改成However, based on the following aspects could I assert that, college education is important and necessary to everyone.)

First of all, generally speaking, a college education plays an important role in a person's success. (去掉a)In colleges or universities(直接写In college), students can learn advanced levels（无s） of knowledge and skills which can not obtain(be obtained) by their (改成via)family education or social experience. These skills should be learned for them because of the future professions. （这一句有些莫名。建议改成: One is unable to succeed in his/her own field regardless of these skills）For example, if a person wants to start his career in (a) financial company, how can he complete with others whose major are financial （Finance）or accounting?! （这句不知道怎么改.....逻辑上有问题，谁说这个人就不是学finance或者accounting的了？还有，貌似?!之类的用法只在中文里出现，英文作文最好少用感叹号，毕竟是议论文不是。）As a result, I think the knowledge which obtained from colleges or universities is necessary to students who want to gain successful professional careers.（改成：Therefore, anyone who wants to be a success on professional career should take the knowledge obtained from college serious.）

Second, it is true that children can enlarge their circles when they are having college's lives. Unlike high schools, they will meet different people who come from different regions, even different countries. As a result, they can share their experiences which may dramatically different from their own. Besides, according to a lately research, conducted by the China Post, after polling thousands of postgraduates, shows that students in the same colleges, they are likely to be partners when they should start their own business career. Lots of examples can back to my point, like Bill Gates and ....., they were classmates when they were students in Harvard University, and later on, they started their own business, Microsoft.

Third, by attending the colleges, students can learn more values and principles which not from doctrine but from real life experiences. They must be responsible for all their livings. They will become more mature and independent. Besides, by working with others, they can gain the experience that how to communicate with different people with various purposes. Furthermore, they should be persistent and hardworking, because of the academic environment. Like Balzac and Beethoven, devoting their lives to the fields which they like best.

On the other hand, admittedly, a college education really has some drawbacks. For example, the people who come from underprivileged family may entail big financial burden. However, more and more governments and schools provide subsidies and part time jobs to the students who can not pay the tuitions and fees. As a result, I don't think it is a big problem to worry about.

Based on the above reasons, I think, the importance of attending the college education is obvious. Getting a university is a very important key to students' success.

只改了前两段就花了我半个小时.....不好意思没时间继续改了~给你一个思路，以后的路还长着呢，加油。

17308001UID：2737541

Nowadays, with the development of modern society, whether children should go to college for further education has become a hot issue. People have differing（different） reasons on why students should have to learn（go on） further education in college. In my opinion, reasons why children should have college learning are based on the following aspects. 开头不好你可以说 随着社会的进步人们越来越重视大学教育4 C& X; D$ d* ]+ ?6 R. a
First of all, generally speaking, a（删） college education plays an important role in a person's success. In colleges or universities, students can learn advanced levels of knowledge and skills which can not obtain（be obtained） by their family education or social experience. These skills should be learned for them because of the future professions. For example, if a person wants to start his career in financial company, how can he complete（compete） with others whose major are financial or accounting?
As a result, I think the knowledge which（珊） obtained from colleges or universities is necessary to students who want to gain successful professional careers.9 D- L! G7 j* _% r' Y* p
Second, it is true that children can enlarge their circles when they are having college's lives. Unlike high schools, they will meet different people who come from different regions, even different countries. As a result, they can share their experiences which may dramatically different from their own. Besides, according to a lately（latest） research, conducted by the China Post, after polling thousands of postgraduates, shows that students in the same colleges, they are likely to be partners when they should start their own business career. Lots of examples can back to my point, like Bill Gates and ....., they were classmates when they were students in Harvard University, and later on, they started their own business, Microsoft.
Third, by attending the colleges, students can learn more values and principles which not from doctrine but from real life experiences. They must be responsible for all their livings. They will become more mature and independent. Besides, by working with others, they can gain the experience that how to communicate with different people with various purposes. Furthermore, they should be persistent and hardworking, because of the academic environment. Like Balzac and Beethoven, devoting their lives to the fields which they like best.

On the other hand, admittedly, a college education really has some drawbacks. For example, the people who come from underprivileged family may entail(be entailed) big financial burden. However, more and more governments and schools provide subsidies and part time jobs to the students who can not pay the tuitions and fees. As a result, I don't think it is a big problem to worry about.: b# y) ~' q% }4 a  l& S* A
& O+ G9 {. A6 r: o, N$ }' u
Based on the above reasons, I think, the importance of attending the college education is obvious. Getting a university is a very important key to students'

总之 写作语言有待提高 句式也有待注意 加油 错误还是很多的

minori1207UID：2886626

4# alexanderhe
实在是太感谢了。
谢谢你宝贵的半小时帮我修改。
我的作文还是属于起步菜鸟阶段，给我了好多好中肯的意见啊。
受益匪浅！
谢谢！

我觉得我原来弄作文的方法不大对。
仅仅把例子背了，然后框架知道了，但是语言表达和逻辑上面问题好多。
我会加油，再一次谢谢你！

minori1207UID：2886626

5# 17308001

谢谢这位同学，不过就是你修改的地方我看得不是很清楚，有些乱码。
呵呵，不过谢谢你的时间和你的建议。
加油加油！\(^o^)/~

minori1207UID：2886626

Do advertisements promote things we do not need or products that may improve our lives?


Since mass media and information are growing in importance in the modern society, people pay more attention to the issue of whether advertisements improve our lives by promoting things and products which we do not need. Views on this issue vary from person to person. However, based on the following aspects would I assert, advertisements are important and necessary to every social member, no matter whether they need products or not. We can hardly ignore the benefits of advertisements, which have greatly changed our lives from the following aspects.

First of all, generally speaking, by advertisements we can get the latest and useful information about some new products which contain lots of new functions with some cute designs and services to customers. Let us take i-pod which produced by Apple Company as an example. It caught my eyes when I first saw it on the television. The advertisement of i-pod contains lots of colorful images and fictions which are attractive, its useful and considerate functions such as mp3 and mapping which suit for the teenagers' needs.再加一个例子比较好。。。 By advertisements, I know that when I get hurt, I can use Band-Aids to prevent infection and accelerate the healing of the wounds. By advertisement, men know that Gillette razors are a safer and more comfortable way of shaving. By advertisement, I know that I can use Rejoice shampoo to prevent dandruff. Therefore, advertisement is a good way to let people know about new production based on developing technology.


Second, some advertisements contain lots of information which demonstrate some kinds of moral values and principles needed in our society. Various kinds of advertisements which contain lots of pictures and stories tell us what the carefulness is or how to be the person who owns special (attractive) personality. Advertisements tell us what persistence is and the concept of hardworking when its contains (, which involve) Balzac and Beethoven, children will gain lots of values and unique metrits (merits) from these advertisements.

Admittely, (admittedly) some advertisements do show lots of products and services that we really do not need. However, in my opinion, it is not the fault of advertisement because that whether you need to buy the products or not depend on your own decision.

To sum up, advertisements play an important role in our society because it tells us tremendous valued information and teaches us some precious principles. Advertisement is irreplaceable for our human beings somehow.  


初稿共350多个字，写了大概49分钟。。。囧。。。
肯定能做好！加油！


修改稿大概有420个字左右~~

谢谢大家帮忙看看~！3Q3Q!

minori1207UID：2886626

Do advertisements promote things we do not need or products that may improve our lives?


Since mass media and information are growing in importance in the modern society, people pay more attention to the issue of whether advertisements improve our lives by promoting things and products which we do not need. Views on this issue vary from person to person. However, based on the following aspects would I assert, advertisements are important and necessary to every social member no matter whether they need products or not. We can hardly ignore the benefits of advertisements, which have greatly changed our lives from the following aspects.

First of all, generally speaking, advertisements help us get the latest and useful information about some new products which contain lots of new functions with some cute designs and services to customers, (改为are the major source from which people obtain the latest and useful information about some new products and services) and therefore transmit unique thoughts and ideas of different company culture. Let us take i-pod which produced by Apple Company as an example. It caught my eyes when I first saw it on the television. The advertisement of i-pod contains lots of colorful images and special functions which are attractive to its customers. And its useful and considerate functions such as mp3 and mapping suit改成 satisfy the teenagers' needs.再加一个例子比较好。。。 By advertisements, I know that when I get hurt, I can use Band-Aids to prevent infection and accelerate the healing of the wounds. By advertisement, men know that Gillette razors are a safer and more comfortable way of shaving. By advertisement, I know that I can use Rejoice shampoo to prevent dandruff. Therefore, advertisement is a good channel  let people know about new production based on developing technology.


Second, some advertisements contain lots of information which demonstrate tremendous kinds of moral values and principles needed in our society. Advertisements involve lots of celebrities’ pictures, stories, and sayings which teach us valued merits. Such as persistence and hardworking by showing that Balzac worked over 15 hours a day for a decade to write novels and Beethoven composed the No. 9 Symphony 3 years before his death. Children will be affected by precious metrits (merits) from these advertisements.

Admittely, (admittedly) some advertisements do show lots of products and services that we really do not need. Moreover, some people claim that advertisements are flooded with violent scenes sometimes. However, in my opinion, it is not the fault of advertisement because that whether you need to buy the products or not depend on your own decision and government also has responsibility to regular the market of advertisement. If that is the case, I don’t think advertisement will be a big problem to worried about.

To sum up, advertisements play an important role in our society because it tells us tremendous valued information and teaches us some precious principles. Advertisement is irreplaceable for our human beings somehow.

chxh2020UID：2587109

怎么不是29日的作文呢？

minori1207UID：2886626

10# chxh2020

前天写的，不过前天没有占位。
昨天自己改了一遍。
so~~

minori1207UID：2886626

Since knowledge and technology are growing importance in our modern society, more and more people pay attention on children's education. Whether parents are the best teachers of their own children? Views on this issue differ from person to person. However, from the following aspects would I assert that, parents play an important role on their children rather than the best one.

On the one hand, nobody can ignore the effects of parents, because they teach their children lots of knowledge and skills. There is a good example to back to my points. As we all know that Mozart is a famous musician who composed tremendous masterpieces and began writing short musical compositions at the age of five and gave his first public performances the same year. His father, the court musician and devoted teacher to his children, had given Mozart musical lessons by the age of three. Goethe's father gave Goethe lessons in five languages when he was a little child. Because of these great parents' pre-education, the greats can get lots of fundamental learning which can help them to be successful in their career in the future.

Moreover, not all children are lucky to have such fabulous parents like Mozart or Goethe. However, some parents are the bad models for their children because they may have lots of bad habits. For example, parents who always drink spirits or smoke are more likely to have a bad effect on their children, because their children may easily mimic their actions by curiosity. What's worse, children may suffer some extents abuses or have no chance to communicate with their parents in order to get some valued lessons and principles which can help them to seize their dreams. Under such a poor circumstance, how can we define these parents as best teachers of their children?

On the other hand, generally speaking, some parents' effects are limited to their children's education due to parents' own experiences and knowledge. As the development of our society, more and more companies focus on enlarging their business scale because of globalization. Under this circumstance, it is no doubt that different languages are the keys to operate the business for multinational companies. Most parents can not teach their children these kinds of capacity because they also have no ideas about these languages. Based on these conditions, teachers in schools may be supplements of their families’ education. A good teacher may light children to new heights.

To sum, parents may not be the best teachers but they still play an important role in children's education because they can let their children know the warmth of families and some basic skills and values.

chxh2020UID：2587109

今天实在是太累了。改不动了。明天给你改哈。

minori1207UID：2886626

Since technology and education play an important role in our society, more and more people pay their attention on multitude reasons of learning in students’ development. Views on this issue vary from different person to person. As far as I concerned, marks really do is an effective reason in students' learning intention, but not the most important one.

To start with, I believe that interest is one of the most import motivations to encourage students to learn. Doing things that make people really interested will offer them greatest passion, and people are more likely to dedicate more time to it to make more contributions. Take my own experience as an example. I always have a burning ambition to be a psychotherapist because psychology is my favorite course. What’ more, more and more people, under such a heavy pressure at work, have been deeply depressed in our society. Thus the role of being a psychotherapist is getting more and more important. As a self motivated person, I always believe that I have this ability to make my dream come true because I am fond learning it. The self interest of psychology leads me to read tremendous books with greatest passion.

What's more, people may want to study because the social and family conditions. As we all know that lots of places in China now are still underdeveloped though it is really better than before. However, once students grasp the opportunity to access the higher education, they will delicate themselves in learning process. I can back up my point with a true story. Xiao Yun, one of my college roommates, came from an underprivileged family located in Gan Su, an underdeveloped inner province in Northwest of China. Both of her parents, cotton farmers, who had lost their land in the industrialization of China, had to work at various construction sites in the city. The salary of them was less than 1000 RMB per month, the equivalent of 120 US dollars. As a result, Xiao Yun knows that it is quite a precious opportunity for her to study in the college. She works extremely hard in order to changing her life based on her knowledge professions and making more money in the future.

Moreover, some people who want to become a particular famous person are more likely to study. For instance, a student was influenced to be the person like Marie Curies when she was a little child. This student may study very hard in order to achieve her goals because Marie Curies obtained her radium from 8 tons of pitchblende for 7 years. Marie Curies is a symbol which stands for hard working and persistence.

Admittedly, marks may motivate students to learn knowledge. However, low mark may lead children to suffer tremendous pressures if they think it is essential of studying. Marks are not important compared with reasons mentioned above.

To sum, lots of reasons may influence and encourage students to learn, nor only the marks but interests, conditions of family and famous person’ s motivation.