[i习作temp] issue160【0906G Fight 4月同心砥砺冲刺组大帖】第1周第2作业 by SUP1428 [复制链接]

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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-2-18 15:32:17 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

This statement actually consists of a series of two related claims: 1)the ability to keep consistently committed to particular principles and objectives is the most essential quality of an effective leader.2)any leader would accomplish little if he/she is quickly and easily influenced by shifts in popular opinion. In my view point, I concede that the quality of containing stably to principles and goals is important to an effective leader. Nevertheless, the clams are too absolute and ignored the importance of the public opinion. Moderation should be made between the two.

Admittedly, there is no doubt that to be an effective leader, he should have principles and also the strength to stick to his objectives. After all, as a leader, he should possess his own special charisma, his impressing personality, and his strong influence. And all these will be conveyed or showed through his particular, singular principles or objectives as well as his consistency. In retrospect of some outstanding political leaders they might attribute their success to their certain tenacity. For example, Dwight D. Eisenhower, greatest military leader in the Second World War, has an eminent saying ”chins up!” which is his perpetual principle; martin luther king, gained worldwide respect as a leader of civil rights, that “I have a dream” is his firm conviction; and also nelson Mandela, his unchanged belief that “peace and unite” makes him an honorable president of south Africa. As well as in the business realm, key leadership position inherently calls for a certain tenacity especially in this fierce competitive and complex society. As an effective leader he should keep strong confidence and convictions to the goal or crucial decision in order to stimulate the subordinates’ favor to achieve success and avoid losing opportunities due to hesitating.

However, it does not mean that a leader should always stick to his own particular principles and objectives stubbornly. As situations are keeping its rapid pace of changing, it is hard for a set principle or objective suitable for any condition. Consistence in the certain principles and objectives will only conduce to a rigid formation. Though an effective leader should gain the certain tenacity with his principles, he should not be deaf to the advices from the mass. After all , with the ever-changing conditions the certain principles need to be completed. Roosevelt in the Depression is the very example to break the tradition and complete principles and objectives to help American shake off the threat of economical depression. It is also true in the business field. In today’s hyper-competitive technological-driven economy, where any leader failing to keep path with ever-changing business and technological paradigms soon falls by the way side.

In addition, as an effective leader, that just have conviction or the ability to commit to the particular principles is not enough. Also he should be equipped with the ability of effective communication, bring the best out of people, making decisions in crisis or uncertainty, and be a reader, learner and communicator, be a friend possesses confidence and humility, etc. all these timbers will contribute to render a effective leadership.

In sum, if we were to take the speaker’s advice completely we would risk becoming a world without leaders, who are flexible and advanced with the ever-changing world, such qualification may lead to more effective leadership. Thus, it would be more appropriate to strike a balance between the strongly conviction to one’s principles and taking advices of the mass. Polarity in each side is not advisable

Fight, 砥砺, 作业

RE: issue160【0906G Fight 4月同心砥砺冲刺组大帖】第1周第2作业 by SUP1428

by 7 witchyaya #10

This statement actually consists of a series of two related claims: 1)the ability to keep consistently committed to particular principles and objectives is the most essential quality of an effective leader.2)any leader would accomplish little if he/she is quickly and easily influenced by shifts in popular opinion. In my view point [from my point of view/ from my viewpoint], I concede that the quality of containing stably to [contain to是个词组么？] principles and goals is important to an effective leader. Nevertheless, the clams are [the claim is应该合适些] too absolute and ignored [ignore ] the importance of the public opinion. Moderation [?] should be made between the two.

Admittedly, there is no doubt that to be an effective leader, he should have principles and also the strength to stick to his objectives. After all, as a leader, he should possess his own special charisma, his impressing personality, and his strong influence. And all these will be conveyed or showed through his particular, singular principles or objectives as well as his consistency. In retrospect of some outstanding political leaders they might attribute their success to their certain tenacity. For example, Dwight D. Eisenhower, greatest military leader in the Second World War, has an eminent [这个形容词好像一般用来形容人] saying “chins up!” which is his perpetual principle [chins up” 可以做为一种原则吗？还是我对它的理解不对哩。。]; martin luther king, gained worldwide respect as a leader of civil rights, that “I have a dream” is his firm conviction; [这个句小分句在句子里的成分是？，这个例子也让我觉得没有什么说服力，仿佛用错了位置] and also Nelson Mandela, his unchanged belief that “peace and unite[unite是verb,这是固定说法么？]” makes him an honorable president of south Africa. As well as in the business realm, key leadership position inherently calls for a certain[？] tenacity especially in this fierce[fiercely] competitive and complex society. As an effective leader he should keep strong confidence and convictions to the goal or crucial decision in order to stimulate the subordinates’ favor[下属的？] to achieve success and avoid losing opportunities due to hesitating.
[嗨，自己这题就没写好，在这批作者的文章都有写不好意思。只是说出我的拙见，冒犯的地方，作者见谅哈。。]
这段，作者写对原则和目标坚持的必要性，分别写了两个方面，一是政治方面，一是商业领域。从一个旁观者的角度来看，感觉不是很有说服力。政治领域，作者说一个领导者需要有特别的魅力、让人印象深刻的个性及强大的影响力，而这些将能过他对特定原则或目标以及consistency表现出来。这一点，我觉得不太严谨，领导者的魅力可以通过许多其它途径来表现哦。。例如，对遵从人民大众的意见，适时的compromise.等。另外，三个例子感觉也不太合适。商业领域，，[stimulate the subordinates’ favor[下属的？] to achieve success]意思？

However, it does not mean that a leader should always stick to his own particular principles and objectives stubbornly. As situations are keeping its rapid pace of changing, it is hard for a set principle or objective (to be ) suitable for any condition. Consistence in the certain principles and objectives will only conduce to a rigid formation. Though an effective leader should gain the certain tenacity with his principles, he should not be deaf to the advices from the mass. After all, with the ever-changing conditions the certain principles need to be completed. Roosevelt in the Depression is the very example to break the tradition and complete principles and objectives to help American shake off the threat of economical depression.[] It is also true in the business field. In today’s hyper-competitive technological (technology)-driven economy, where any leader failing to keep [这个句式是？] path with ever-changing business and technological paradigms soon falls by the way side.
这段是想表达不能一味坚持某些原则或目标，因时制宜的重要性哈。
这个切入点挺好的呢。ROOSEVELT的例子也恰到好处好。
红色画线部分与整段内容有些偏离，作者可能是想更切题，与题目讲到的POPULAR opinion联系上。但我觉得这样不如就单一的表达不能死板地保持故有的原则不变。而在下一段写也要听大众的意见这一点。

In addition, as an effective leader, that just have conviction or the ability to commit to the[去掉] particular principles is not enough. Also he should be equipped with the ability of effective communication, bring the best out of people[这句话的意思是？估计是俺不熟悉的表达方式，跟俺讲讲俺学飞下哈。], making decisions in crisis or uncertainty, and be a reader, learner and communicator, be a friend possesses [possessing] confidence and humility, etc. all these timbers will contribute to render a [an] effective leadership. [建议：可以花多点笔墨说说听从大众意见的必要性，好处等等。]

In sum, if we were to take the speaker’s advice completely we would risk becoming a world [ we become a world?]without leaders, who are flexible and advanced with the ever-changing world, [作者想说flexible…这些品质可以使领导人more effective哈，晨直接接such这句不太合适哈，毕竟such这句是个完整的句子，没法修饰who这个定语从语的哦？]such qualification may lead to more effective leadership. Thus, it would be more appropriate to strike a balance between the strongly conviction to one’s principles and taking advices of the mass. Polarity in each side is not advisable

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板凳

发表于 2009-2-20 00:03:41 |只看该作者

谢谢批改~~~~
我参考组里同学的作文和好例子又改了一下

This statement actually consists of a series of two related claims: 1)the ability to keep consistently committed to particular principles and objectives is the most essential quality of an effective leader.2)any leader would accomplish little if he/she is quickly and easily influenced by shifts in popular opinion. From my point of view, I concede that the quality of sticking to particular principles and goals is important to an effective leader. Nevertheless, the claim is too absolute and ignores the importance of the public opinion.

Admittedly, there is no doubt that to be an effective leader, he should have particular principles and also the strength to stick to his objectives which is optimal. In a group, a leader’s function is just like a train, which has many departments but only one head. If the leader is lack of his own principles and wavers all the time, he/she will lose credit which comes from subordinates and adherents and the group will be tore up soon by different directions and different opinions.
The apt illustration of this point involves the story about George Washigton, as a principal leader and the first president of the U. S, refused to follow the advice that to declare himself the king of America so as to gain his dream about establishing a democratic country after achieving the American liberation, so you can imagine what would occur if Washigton were scant of resolution and consistently principles. As well as in the business realm, key leadership position inherently calls for a certain tenacity especially in this fiercely competitive and complex society. As an effective leader he should keep strong confidence and convictions to the goal or crucial decision in order to stimulate the whole group to achieve success and avoid losing opportunities due to hesitating.

However, it does not mean that a leader should always stick to his own particular principles and objectives stubbornly. As situations are keeping its rapid pace of changing, it is hard for a set principle or objective to be suitable for any condition. Consistence in the certain principles and objectives will only conduce to a rigid formation.. After all, with the ever-changing conditions the certain principles need to be improved or even changed. Roosevelt in the Depression is the very example to break the tradition and improve the principles and objectives to help American shake off the threat of economical depression. It is also true in the business field. In today’s hyper-competitive technology-driven economy, where any leader failing to catch up with ever-changing business and technological paradigms soon falls by the way side.

on the other hand, if a leader blindly persist his principles and objectives and be deaf to the advices from the popular opinions, he would risk potential failure and losing popular supports. Because of the limits of the ordinary people, I t is hard for a person to keep all the decisions made by him right, moreover, he will overlook some well-meaning aspects and lose appropriate opportunity to correct his mistake before the fallen of disaster. Also, it is impolite to refuse listening to others’ advises especially when his principles are not reasonable, moreover, he would risk losing respect and prestige from his supports—let along an effective leadership

In sum, if we were to take the speaker’s advice completely we would risk becoming a world without leaders, who are flexible and keep pace with the ever-changing world. These qualifications may lead to more effective leadership. Thus, it would be more appropriate to strike a balance between the strongly conviction to one’s principles and taking advices of the mass. Polarity in each side is not advisable

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