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tesolchina
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286楼

发表于 2015-5-10 08:07:58 |只看该作者

diehard 发表于 2015-5-9 22:45
Simon, 你们在指称题目的序号时用的是那个题库文档啊？我之前从官网整理过题库，但是不带序号。为了和大家 ...

博客2楼有个目录 39楼有一个html的倒计时程序里面都有题目序号

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tesolchina
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287楼

发表于 2015-5-10 11:42:15 |只看该作者

Issue 11 behavior largely determined by external forces

11) People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

这道题应该是比较难写的。首先behavior这个概念太大，必须具体化才好处理。另外，这个问题本身很深，涉及到人有没有自由这类哲学问题。我选了两个稍微好写的角度来讨论：一个是人作为工业化生产的一部分，实际上不是控制机器而是被机器控制。其实生产线工人固然如此，即便是都市白领不也得按照既定程序日复一日的工作么？另外，众所周知，消费主义横行的今日，我们很多时候被欲望所操控，广告、信用卡等制度影响我们买了很多本来不需要的东西。当然，我也不想太过悲观，于是在第三段写了一些可能的出路。

其实这个问题还是很值得我们思考的，究竟我们有没有可能获得真正意义的自由。可以探讨的方方面面实在很多，这篇只是在有限的篇幅内初略的谈到两点。

To what extent people could control their own behaviors is an interesting question that concerns many psychologists, economists, philosophers.  The question is important because we all desire freedom but at the same time are subject to different constraints.  In my opinion, due to the industrialization of modern society, our behaviours have been largely determined by different social institutions such as corporation and marketing.  Nevertheless, we may try to regain our freedom by fighting the systems in which we find ourselves.

One of the key features of modern society is industrialization through which the production of goods and provision of services are all standardized and to a large extent automated by machines.  The assembly line approach to manufacturing, for example, requires all the workers to perform the same tasks on machines repeatedly.  The behaviors of the workers are largely determined by the pace of the machines set by the engineers.  Office workers also have to perform tasks following a set of prescribed instructions repeatedly.  While doing so can certainly increase the productivity and reduce errors, there is little room for them to make their own decisions about their behaviors.

At the receiving end of the goods and services are customers who seem to enjoy the freedom of making their own choices with their own money.  But it is well known that consumer behaviors are actually subject to the manipulation of corporations as well through different marketing strategies.  Celebrities are often invited to endorse different products and services so that ordinary people believe that buying such products and services will help them to identify more closely with their idols.  Discounts are often offered and extra credit points can be earned when credit cards are used to make certain purchases because researches have shown that more money can be spent painlessly when credit cards rather than banknotes are used.  Numerous strategies like these have been employed by corporations to lure more customers to buy things we do not really need and to spend money we have not yet earned.

Of course, it is not true that our behaviors are completely under the control of large corporations although most of us do have to be part of the labor force and customer base of the large corporations.  Nowadays many people have become aware of the intrusive effects of being part of the capitalistic economy largely driven by irrational consumerism.  Environmentalists have advocated living a simple life in order to break away from the traps created by large corporations trying to sell things we do not need.  Experts in personal finance have offered prudent advice about using credit cards less and spending money within one’s budgets.  More and more people have come to understand the importance of work-life balance and even plan to retire early to enjoy life.  As more efforts are made to fight against the system of capitalism and consumerism, we still have a chance to regain our freedom.

In conclusion, in the modern society dominated by large corporations, ordinary people’s behaviors as employees and consumers are indeed largely determined by factors that beyond our control.  Nevertheless, we can still try to fight for our freedom as we learn more about how our behaviors have been influenced by external forces.

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288楼

发表于 2015-5-10 20:30:38 |只看该作者

guoguo100011 发表于 2015-2-23 09:01
2月12考的，作文4分。这个文档包括我自己写的一些练习作文，和其他地方搜集来的范文（主要是寄托王老师）， ...

这个文档怎么不存在了呀！

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289楼

发表于 2015-5-11 07:41:05 |只看该作者

关于argument的提纲和全文写作格式

argument的批改比起issue要麻烦一些，因为题目本身就有相当的篇幅。我在看提纲或全文前得先看argument本身。为了提高批改效率，在这里对argument的练习做一些规定，希望大家配合：
1. 必须抄题，包括指引，并按要求写作。
2. 必须将原题的argument拆分成结论和论据- https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1795774-1-1.html
3. 在提纲或全文的中间段之前，请注明这段话要回应原题argument的哪一段话、哪一个点
4. 提纲不仅要写中间段的主题句，还要列出如何回应argument的论述
5. 如果这道题我已经写了范文，请务必对比你的文章和范文，结合范文自评并提出问题。
6.再次强调天下文章一大抄，对于一些关键的句型、关键的套路，要多借鉴ETS和我的范文。

GRE作文6分教学博客

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290楼

发表于 2015-5-11 15:31:02 |只看该作者

您好，老师，诚恳希望加入批改小组，这是我的写作记录啦，先从列提纲开始吧。请老师多指教

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291楼

发表于 2015-5-11 18:21:03 |只看该作者

tesolchina 发表于 2015-5-11 07:41
argument的批改比起issue要麻烦一些，因为题目本身就有相当的篇幅。我在看提纲或全文前得先看argument本身。 ...

OK 收到。

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tesolchina
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292楼

发表于 2015-5-11 22:42:40 |只看该作者

issue的主要问题之一：自相矛盾的观点(Inconsistent Stance)

这是我3月份在Quip上指导时写的一个文档，现在放在这里。以后遇到同学有这类问题会直接给出这层楼的链接

在issue写作中，很多同学不能写出一个自圆其说的复杂观点。常常在写出一个观点句之后，用however紧跟另一句否定前面的观点。关于这个问题，论坛上其他的高分网友也讨论过。

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1604684-1-1.html
*AW拿4分其实并不难，阻碍我们拿高分的因素无外乎两点
1) 过多拼写，语法错误导致意思无法准确传达
2) 过于纠结2正一反或者2反一正八股文论证导致分析不透彻，而且观点容易自相矛盾。*

对于原命题我们可以说部分同意、部分反对，但是我们必须清晰的指出在什么情况下同意，什么情况下反对。其实这个要求，题目的writing instruction已经写得很清楚-
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... age=4#pid1778934728

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should **consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true** and explain how these considerations shape your position.

这里的ways in which 就是要我们分不同情况讨论

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

这种题型只是换了一种说法- specific circumstances

其实所谓的批判性思维就是一种对于简单的一般性结论（generalization）及刻板印象（stereotype）的理性拒绝。要做到这一点就要具体情况具体分析。

看一个反面的实例：Issue 123 Outline by妄言 (https://quip.com/qLCbAmwJwFRO)

123. The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

In the age of globalization, there is no denying that collaboration plays an essential role in fostering future leaders since it equips the young to address greater challenges. I believe that a lesson of cooperation works better than the idea of tug-of-war in promoting youth leadership in many fields, be it politics or business. However, cooperation is not necessarily superior compared with friendly competition as they highlight different aspects of leadership.

原作者在however前后的内容明显是自相矛盾的

可以改为

I believe that teaching cooperation can better prepare young people for future challenges as leaders who will have to supervise a team of people to work together to solve problems. While it is equally important for leaders to have a strong sense of competition, I believe that there is no need to tell them the importance of competition because it is already institutionalized in our daily life.

这里会陆续累积一些反面和正面的案例

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tesolchina
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293楼

发表于 2015-5-12 16:05:01 |只看该作者

鄙视那些发习作不抄写作指引的版友
连写作指引都不抄考个啥GRE作文啊

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tesolchina
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294楼

发表于 2015-5-13 11:13:14 |只看该作者

Argument 11 示范 limiting the use of farmland leads to housing price hike

The council of Maple County, concerned about the county's becoming overdeveloped, is debating a proposed measure that would prevent the development of existing farmland in the county. But the council is also concerned that such a restriction, by limiting the supply of new housing, could lead to significant increases in the price of housing in the county. Proponents of the measure note that Chestnut County established a similar measure ten years ago, and its housing prices have increased only modestly since. However, opponents of the measure note that Pine County adopted restrictions on the development of new residential housing fifteen years ago, and its housing prices have since more than doubled. The council currently predicts that the proposed measure, if passed, will result in a significant increase in housing prices in Maple County.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

Conclusion: The council currently predicts that the proposed measure, if passed, will result in a significant increase in housing prices in Maple County.

Fact: The council of Maple County, concerned about the county's becoming overdeveloped, is debating a proposed measure that would prevent the development of existing farmland in the county. - the measure will  prevent the development of existing farmland in the county

Proponents of the measure note that Chestnut County established a similar measure ten years ago, and its housing prices have increased only modestly since.

However, opponents of the measure note that Pine County adopted restrictions on the development of new residential housing fifteen years ago, and its housing prices have since more than doubled.

land supply - the proportion of farmland in the county- how important is farmland as a source of land for housing
other
overall economic development
demand side - population (demographic structure/ people who move in)

=============

Maple county council predicts that, after introducing the proposed policy on land use, the housing price will increase significantly. Considering the cases that may support or challenge the prediction, it is important to answer a number of questions about the land supply for housing, overall trend of economic development and the population growth of Maple county to decide if the prediction is reasonable.

In order to assess the impact of limiting the development of farmland to housing prices, it is critical to look into how important the farmland is as a source of land for housing.  If the real estate developers in Maple had been relied on fameland in the past to build houses, as the case of Pine County may be, the prices of houses may increase significantly as the developers may face a shortage of land for building new houses.  On the other hand, if the developers could obtain land from other sources, e.g. reclaim the land from the sea or build houses in forest parks, which might be the case of Chestnut, the policy would only have a modest impact of the housing prices as the supply of land and houses will not be affected.

Of course, the supply of land is not the only factor that will influence the housing prices.  We also need to ask what the economy of Maple will be like in the next 10 or 15 years.  If the Maple economy is expected to grow significantly in the next decade with a number of investment projects on the horizon, the housing price may increase as a result. This is because when the economy is strong people will enjoy higher income and can afford more expensive houses.  This could be the main reason why after a similar policy was introduced in Pine, the housing prices had doubled.  We need to examine more closely the cases of the housing price increase in Pine and see whether Maple is similar to Pine in terms of the trend of economic development.  Alternatively, if the economic outlook of Maple is more similar to Chestnut, where the housing prices had changed very little, the prediction may not be accurate.

Another important factor we need to consider when predicting housing prices is population.  Maybe the population size of Pine had grown exponentially in the past 15 years due to the booming economy creating more job opportunities and attracting more people moving over here.  Or perhaps, the average age of Pine county residents is relatively low leading to the natural growth of population size in the next 15 years. If the demographic structure of Maple resembles that of Pine or Maple expects a large number of people moving in, the housing prices may increase in the next few years, not necessarily a result of the proposed policy.  On the other hand, if Maple has the similar demographic structure as Chestnut and does not attract people from other areas, it is less likely that the housing prices will increase.

Overall speaking, it is important to bear in mind that predicting housing prices of an area is very difficult as there are a variety of factors in play and the proposed policy may or may not be the decisive factor.  We need to ask questions about the land supply in Maple and see if it is similar to the case of Pine or Chestnut.  More importantly, we also need to ask questions about other factors that may not be related to the proposed policy if we are to make a reasonable prediction of the housing price.

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tesolchina
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295楼

发表于 2015-5-13 22:49:07 |只看该作者

Argument 50 示范薰衣草香枕治疗失眠

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-5-13 22:55 编辑

50. An ancient, traditional remedy for insomnia—the scent of lavender flowers—has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored electronically. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. At the beginning of the second week, the volunteers discontinued their sleeping medication. During that week, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. Therefore, the study proves that lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

conclusion: lavender cures insomnia

what would happen in week 4 and the long term

how the lack of sleep in week 2 affect sleep in week 3

controlled room? what about going back to their own homes
placebo effect?

Insomnia is a medical condition a great many people suffer from and wish for a quick cure. The conclusion that lavender remedy cures insomnia seems too good to be true. We need evidence about the long-term effect of the remedy, how the lack of sleep in week 2 might affect sleep in week 3 as well as how the experiment conditions might influence the volunteers’ sleep in order to evaluate the argument.

To begin with, the results suggested that volunteers seemed to sleep better in week 3 after using the pillow but we need more information about how well they sleep in week 4 and in the long term to decide if insomnia was cured.  It is important to note that the volunteers suffered from chronic insomnia which might be alleviated temporarily by the remedy.  Yet, the volunteers may have trouble sleeping again once the human bodies get used to levanda smell and the remedy becomes less effective.  Therefore, we need to track the long-term development of the medical condition in order to evaluate the effectiveness of the remedy.

Another issue that deserves further investigation is whether the volunteers slept better in week 3 because of the remedy.  Given the fact that they did not sleep very well in week 2 after terminating the use of sleeping pills, the volunteers may have slept soundly in week 3 simply because they felt too tired.  After enjoying some sound sleep in week 3, their insomnia conditions may come back again.  The point here is similar to the concern over long-term effect discussed in the previous paragraph.  But the focus here is whether the remedy was actually effective during the three week experiment.

A final issue that we need to consider is how the controlled environment might contribute to the improvement of sleep quality. Since the volunteers have been sleeping in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored electronically, it is safe to assume that the environment is almost free from distraction that the volunteers are normally subject to.  When they participate in the study, they may forget about all the problems that bother them in their daily life.  In other words, the lab environment might help them sleep better.  It would be helpful if the volunteers could continue using the remedy at home and more data could be collected about their sleep in a more natural environment.  After all, the remedy would be useless if the volunteers can only sleep well in a controlled room.

The experiments with the lavander remedy are certainly very interesting and it is tempting to accept the conclusion that the remedy can cure insomnia. But we need more evidence about the issues discussed above in order to decide if the argument is reasonable.

=============

有兴趣的同学可以看看这篇论文- Insomnia: Assessment and Management in Primary Care
http://www.aafp.org/afp/1999/0601/p3029.html

其实还有一个很重要的点我没有写到就是原文只说第三周比前两周睡得好但是是否达到治愈失眠的标准呢这就要看失眠的临床定义是什么了这篇论文里估计有干货写好这个点

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tesolchina
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296楼

发表于 2015-5-14 19:20:55 |只看该作者

科研与教学日志-5.14.2015

不少网友在寄托上写日记督促自己学习。其实我也在找offer，不过不是留学申请的offer，而是工作的offer，因为我明年6月就要博士毕业了，明年9月就要开始工作。目前的计划是今年9月之前完成博士论文的初稿，并在下半年投出2-3篇论文。任务可谓十分艰巨。所以我也需要鸡血与鸡汤，也来写点日记吧。

刚才整理了一下我的博士论文稿，目前整个框架已经出来，其中有一章已经写了一大半，另一章大概也写了一半的样子。除了这两章外，大概还要写3章的样子。老板要求我的博士论文字数控制在7-10万字，包括Bibliography，我感觉这实在不是一件太难完成的任务。在我看来其实博士论文并一定要写得很好，关键是要有一些内容可以尽快在SSCI收录的期刊上发表。因此，博士论文不会是我重点投入的任务，相反要尽快弄完，这样才能有精力去好好的准备投稿和其他的研究项目。

另外，我的博士论文的前几个章节将会和在论坛上的辅导深度结合，也就是说论坛指导将会沿用博士论文里的理论框架，而论坛指导过程中收集的数据将作为博士论文研究的数据。在这里和大家分享一下我的博士论文题目吧：

Tutoring Chinese Students for GRE Writing Tests in an Online Forum:A Computer-Assisted Action Research Study
在線論壇上指導中國學生備考美國研究生院入學寫作測試：一個計算機輔助的行動研究

这篇论文完成后，最迟明年年底，我希望能出版一本GRE作文的指导书，希望能与寄托合作出版，毕竟书的内容里会包括很多寄托版友的习作和我的点评等等。

另外，等我博士论文写完了，今年9月我会去美版开一个博客指导申请去美国读理工科博士的同学写留学文书。其实这个是我最初博士论文的选题，后来因为一些原因改为研究GRE作文。但是我以前在华科已经指导过超过100位同学写留学文书，这方面的经验也是很丰富的。当然，我的留学文书指导也是免费的，最终目标还是出一本比较有用靠谱的留学文书辅导书吧。

嗯，想想未来几年我要做的这些事情，还是很值得期待的。希望过几年再回来看这些文字的时候，我会为今天的努力而感到自豪！

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发表于 2015-5-14 20:35:26 |只看该作者

tesolchina 发表于 2015-5-14 19:20
不少网友在寄托上写日记督促自己学习。其实我也在找offer，不过不是留学申请的offer，而是工作的offer，因为 ...

我先加报名加入写文书的小组

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tesolchina	+ 5	跟我学GRE作文的美国理工科博士申请人优先~.

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298楼

发表于 2015-5-15 00:14:14 |只看该作者

5.14 更新

issue12 欢迎指正

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... xtra=#pid1779450478

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tesolchina
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长老一袋

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299楼

发表于 2015-5-15 08:56:58 |只看该作者

心平气和的指导

感觉前段时间在指导部分版友的作文时，情绪管理得不好，对于一些句子层面的错误未能做到心平气和，以致在点评时语气较重较负面。

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
“Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”

GRE作文6分教学博客

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tesolchina
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长老一袋

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300楼

发表于 2015-5-15 09:10:17 |只看该作者

博士论文重点研究对内容和形式的反馈

接下来的辅导要将反馈作为核心，这也是我的博士研究的重点。反馈可分为内容和形式，内容是指篇章结构、立论、例证等方面，而形式则是指句子层面的句型、语法、用词等。我需要分析之前一段时间对版友做的内容反馈，将反馈进行分类，每一种发一个帖子，做一个编号，以后再反馈的时候直接发代码和帖子链接。然后一定要跟进版友在反馈后的修改。

而句子层面的反馈则以句子加油站为基地，对句子层面的问题进行分类整理，辅以针对句式多样性的教学。

感觉之前已经辅导了不少同学，要抽时间对辅导纪录进行整理，并力求使今后的辅导更加系统化，方便后续的数据收集。

GRE作文6分教学博客

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