[a习作temp] ARGUMENT2 求改 [复制链接]

jerryyuan
UID：2841374

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 71
注册时间: 2010-6-26
精华: 0
帖子: 0

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-4-13 02:33:14 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 jerryyuan 于 2011-4-13 13:23 编辑

作文很差,第一次写,作文想拿3分就够,麻烦大家帮忙看下
argument 2

In the letter, the committee of homeowner from the Deerhaven Acres recommends the citizens of Deerhaven Acres should adopt their own set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting to raise their local property value. To support this recommendation, the committee use Brookvile community as an example: In this kind of rule, the average property values have tripled in Brookville seven years ago. This argument makes some logically mistakes in several crucial respects.

First, the committee unfairly assumes the increase in local properly values is due to restrictions of landscaping and house painting rather than any other factors and the committee cannot provide  evidence to substantiate this assumption. Lacking such evidence it is entirely possible that perhaps it was just due to the investment on property, or it's just an aberration. Without ruling out other possibility, the assumption is unconvincing.

Secondly, Even if the raised of properly values was due to the restriction. The committee arbitrary considers that the Deerhaven Acres will get the same result is not reasonable. It is entirely possible that the house buyer of Brrokvile maybe more interested in house appearance and the house buyer of Deerhaven does not care about it. Either in this kinds of cases, the restriction will not effect the price of property. Without ruling out these possibilities, the committee cannot convince me to believe that the property of Deerhaven will raise.

Thirdly, the committee does not consider other way which will raise the property value---Such as improve the living environment or raise the living quality and so on. Lacking evidence to support that it is the only way to achieve goal, the committee cannot convince me. Even if there are not other ways, the committee still unfairly infers from the old date of Brrokvile's property to prescience Deerhaven’s property value. It is entirely possible that the result will oppose. If the committee cannot provide the statistics about the tendency of property's price, I will still remain unconvincing attitude to the assumption.

  In sum, without scant evidences to provide assumptions, the committee cannot justify the recommendation is correct. In order make recommendation believable, the committee must provide some evidences that (1) more information about increase in Brookvile, and (2) The statistics about the tendency of property's price in Deerhaven. And in order to assess recommendation better, I need some information about Derrhaven Acres's population and economics condition of Deerhaven Acres.