fish1044作业--写作

wawabjUID: 2536676

Recently, the debate of whether or not young people could enjoy life better than the old has been brought forth by some people. Although it is true that most of the people who presented their ideas would agree with the statement that young people enjoy their life better, these people are, in fact, young people themselves. The truth is, the old people who are really enjoying their life have many reasons to win the debate and they are also the one who don’t want to participate this debate at all. （哈，第一段写的真有意思）

To begin with, aged people would have more time for relaxation. While young people spend most of their time struggling for life in their work(我觉得后面这三个词可以不用), the old people are sitting on their porch drinking tea. One secret of enjoying life is that you have to feel it and appreciate it. A short time walking in the park in the morning, some sunshine in one’s backyard and even enjoying one’s coffee in the afternoon is the way to appreciate life. None of those listed above could be afford by young people since they require the much time they don’t have.（用词和描写都很不错）
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Secondly, old people have more life experience than young man ever have, it helps them to understand life more which makes them even more capable to appreciate life. Enjoying life is the same as enjoying a painting, the more you know it, the better you can appreciate it and thus, the more you enjoy it. What a young man could think of when fishing by the lake might be how many fish he could got, however, for the old people, what they really enjoy is the peace and the beauty of the scene which they knew is the most precious thing in life.7 n: k1 S8 k& p5 T
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    Last but not the least, the old people might have more money to enjoy their life than young people. Money is a thing that is not a must to enjoy life, but it is surely necessary. Young people have more things to worry such as their student loan to pay, their housing plan as well as the family daily spend. On the contrary, the old people have accumulated fortune for their whole life. No matter how their material wealth been achieved, they don’t need to pursue more. These give the old people more financial freedom to enjoy their life.  j4 `$ J& d; q0 s

In general, old people have more time, more life experience and even more money to enjoy their lives. In other words, they have every thing it needs for appreciating life. Therefore, as stated in the first paragraph, they don’t even need to participate to that debate, since the answer is way too obvious.

fish写的很不错啊，很流畅，你是不是经常看英文小说之类的？

fish1044UID: 2190500

这个。。。我还从来没有看过英文小说，呵呵。

ly8768UID: 2452066

14# fish1044

Recently, the debate of whether or not young people could enjoy life better than the old has been brought forth by some people. Although it is true that most of(most不是代词后面不能有of) the people who presented their ideas would agree with the statement that young people enjoy their life better, these people are, in fact, young people themselves. The truth is, the old people who are really enjoying their life have many reasons to win the debate and they are also the one who don’t want to participate (in) this debate at all.

they are also the one who don’t want to participate (in) this debate at all这句话有用吗？

To begin with, aged people would have more time for relaxation. While young people spend most of their time struggling for life in their work, the old people are sitting on their porch drinking tea. One secret of enjoying life is that you have to feel it and appreciate it(it应该是指life吧). A short time walking in the park in the morning, some sunshine in one’s backyard and even enjoying one’s coffee in the afternoon is the way to appreciate life. None of those listed above could be afford by young people since they require the much time they don’t have.

理由不错

Secondly, old people have more life experience than young man ever have, it help them to understand life more which makes them even more capable to appreciate life. Enjoying life is the same as enjoying a painting, the more you know it, the better you can appreciate it and thus, the more you enjoy it. What a young man could think of when fishing by the lake might be how many fish he could got, however, for the old people, what they really enjoy is the peace and the beauty of the scene which they knew is the most precious thing in life.

Last but not the least, the old people might have more money to enjoy their life than young people. Money is a thing that is not a must to enjoy life, but it is surely necessary. Young people have more things to worry such as their student loan to pay, their housing plan as well as the family daily spend. On the contrary, the old people have accumulated fortune for their whole life. No matter how their material wealth been achieved, they don’t need to pursue more. These give the old people more financial freedom to enjoy their life.


In general, old people have more time, more life experience and even more money to enjoy their lives. In other words, they have every thing it needs for appreciating life. Therefore, as stated in the first paragraph, they don’t even need to participate to that debate, since the answer is way too obvious.

觉得你这个三个分观点都写的挺好，而且长短适中

fish1044UID: 2190500

9.19作业，感觉思路不清晰，希望大家批评。

It has been a long discussing problem that whether or not one should work for the big company. Most people hold their point that one should work for small companies since one’s self-value could be better displayed their. However, in my perspective, working for big companies is more preferable due to the reasons stated as follow.

First of all, working in a team, which is required by most big companies, could achieve a bigger goal than the one who work alone. There is an old saying in China that, three leather worker could outwit Zhu geliang, the smartest man ever in chinese history. People could share resource such as intelligence and expertise that each individual possess. A skillful lumberjack might be able to make a steady wood house all by himself but several ordinary workers together could build a skyscraper. Just like working by hand separate mankind from animal, working in team characterized a whole new advanced society.

Second, though criticized by many people who don’t like large company, specialization of individual’s work is part of the reason for my favoring of big companies. With the booming development of the human technology, knowledge is also growing in an astonishing rate. We human typically don’t have that much time to learn every kind of knowledge of even most of them in the world. Resulting from the previous reason, our education has becoming more and more specialized. You have to choose a specific major when you are entering a college. Moreover, you can only study in one particular subject as a graduate student. Since our personal knowledge tend to be more specialized, the specialized work in a big company can just fit us in and be the very place for us to shine.

Last but not the least, as stated by Newton, we can see further because we are standing on the shoulder of the giant. Working for the big company enlarges our vision to the market, to the society or even to the whole mankind. Take IBM as an example, it is now working on the super wide band satellite communication protocols which is the future technology that people could only see in the next ten years. What an exciting experience it would be if you could be part of the team who works for this kind of technology.


As a conclusion, working for the big company is preferable for me because of their team work pattern, specialized work and their vision to the future.

liuxiaoyinUID: 2631993

[It has been a long discussing problem that whether or not one should work for the big company. Most people hold their points that one should work for small companies since one’s self-value could be better displayed (their删掉）. However, in my perspective, working for big companies is more preferable due to the reasons stated as follow.

R
First of all, working in a team, which is required by most big companies, could achieve a bigger goal than the one who work alone. There is an old saying in China that, three leather worker could outwit Zhu geliang, the smartest man ever in chinese history. People could share resource such as intelligence and expertise that each individual possess. A skillful lumberjack might be able to make a steady wood house all by himself but several ordinary workers together could build a skyscraper. Just like working by hand separate mankind from animal, working in team characterized a whole new advanced society.写得很精彩，赞~~~

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Second, though criticized by many people who don’t like large company, specialization of individual’s work is part of the reason for my favoring （用favouritism好点） of big companies. With the booming development of the human technology, knowledge is also growing in an astonishing rate. We human typically don’t have that much time to learn every kind of knowledge of even most of them in the world. Resulting from the previous reason, our education has becoming more and more specialized. You have to choose a specific major when you are entering a college. Moreover, you can only study in one particular subject as a graduate student. Since our personal knowledge tend to be more specialized, the specialized work in a big company can just fit us in and be the very place for us to shine.

Last but not the least, as stated by Newton, we can see further because we are standing on the shoulder of the giant. Working for the big company enlarges our vision to the market, to the society or even to the whole mankind. Take IBM as an example, it is now working on the super wide band satellite communication protocols which is（are） the future technology that people could only see in the next ten years. What an exciting experience it would be if you could be part of the team who works for this kind of technology." S/ X; p' y0 M

As a conclusion, working for the big company is preferable for me because of their team work pattern, specialized work and their vision to the future.
理由很充分，表达很清楚还有不少精彩的句子。只有个别小小的语法错误。建议结尾再丰满一点，用点比喻句，排比句什么的，是结尾看上去更有气势，更饱满b]

PS.给我评完了在QQ上给你我说一声啊，我叫“凌"
19# fish1044

liuxiaoyinUID: 2631993

跟你比我写的好幼稚啊~~~帮我改改吧~~

goback211UID: 2419259

It has been a long discussing problem thatwhether or not one should work for the big company. Most people hold theirpoint that one should work for small companies since one’s self-value could bebetter displayed their. However, in my perspective, working for big companiesis more preferable due to the reasons stated as follow.
First of all, working in a team, which isrequired by most big companies, could achieve a bigger goal than the one whowork alone. There is an old saying in China that, three leather workercould outwit Zhu geliang, the smartest man ever in Chinese history. Peoplecould share resource such as intelligence and expertise that each individualpossess. A skillful lumberjack might be able to make a steady wood house all byhimself but several ordinary workers together could build a skyscraper. Justlike working by hand separate mankind from animal, working in teamcharacterized a whole new advanced society.(为什么小公司就没有team呢，这段写得不错，句子很好)
Secondly, though criticized by many people who don’t like large company,specialization of individual’s work is part of the reason for my favoring(favor就可以了) of big companies. With the booming development of the humantechnology, knowledge is also growing in an astonishing rate. We humantypically don’t have that much time to learn every kindof knowledge of even most of them in the world(没读懂，有点拗口). Resulting from the previous reason, our education has becomingmore and more specialized. You have to choose a specific major when you areentering a college. Moreover, you can only study in one particular subject as agraduate student. Since our personal knowledge tend to be more specialized, thespecialized work in a big company can just fit us in and be the very place forus to shine.
Last but not the least, as stated by Newton, we can seefurther because we are standing on the shoulder of the giant. Working for thebig company enlarges our vision to the market, to the society or even to thewhole mankind. Take IBM as an example, it is now working on the super wide bandsatellite communication protocols which is the future technology that peoplecould only see in the next ten years. What an exciting experience it would beif you could be part of the team who works for this kind of technology.
As a conclusion, working for the bigcompany is preferable for me because of their team work pattern, specializedwork and their vision to the future.(结尾可以再扩充一下)

不错，举得例子挺好的，加油

fish1044UID: 2190500

9.22 作业

时间掌握的越来越好了，嘻嘻。

Every man has to work. However, not every people know what is the real meaning of working. Some might argue that everyone works for money while others claims that people should work for joy. In my opinion, neither the financial explanation nor the work for joy theory could tell the whole story.

For the first stage of our life, people couldn’t deny that they are, or in some sense, should work for money. However cruel it might be, it is true that we owe a lot of debts when we first step into the society. We had to pay our student loan for example, or we have to begin to sent money back home since it would be your responsibility to pay your parents back since you are capable of making money. Then, as you grown, you have to save money for your housing, your car and your family spent. Those items add to your burden so you need to work really hard to make your ends meet. In this case, you should working for money.

It won’t be the same case when it comes to the second stage of your life. Thanks to your hard work, you are getting more and more experienced and equipped with more valuable knowledge, you life is, at the same time, changing exponentially. Your income has been raised to the point that can cover almost all your expense and as well, you almost got all you need at this very age. You don’t have to worry about you life, especially the aspects concerns about money. Nevertheless, when the physical desire has been satisfied, one would start to seek for mentally fulfillment. At this time, your work which could bring the feeling achievement or which would contribute the society and thus wins the respect from it will be your major source of happiness. Thus, you are working for joy at this stage.


As a conclusion, my point to the discussion is that, one won’t work for money or just for joy in his or her whole life. It totally depends on the stage that you are now in. Generally speaking, these two stages are the ones that everyone would experience, what difference from each others is simply the amount of time each stage would last.

fish1044UID: 2190500

9.24作业

Due to the increment of the average income of the whole society, traveling has becoming one of the most preferable outdoor activities that people like. In some senses, traveling is a general habit of most people. However, when come to the question that whether the best way to travel is to travel by oneself or by group, people can’t always come to agreement. In my opinion, I believe that traveling by oneself could be more enjoyable than traveling in a group that led by someone else. My point of view bases on the following reasons.

First of all, you could know your visiting site better since you should have sometime to prepare your trip. Although this process might be considered to be time consuming, it actually adds the knowledge of the place you are going to visit. For example, if you are visiting the summer palace, you would probably referring to some website and check for the history of the summer palace. These stories might included big events happened there or just some interesting unauthentic history about the something people don’t much, such as the huge jar on the road side. You can choose what to know and how much to you need to know about the tour site is you prepare your trip yourself.

Secondly, when you are traveling alone, you can travel to the place that interests you much. When you are going with a group led by someone, the group leader has to take everybody else’s interest into consideration. Thus, you might need to sacrifice your self-interest to the larger group. On the contrary, you can focus on your own interest when you are traveling alone. Again, take traveling to the summer palace for example, you might visit the tower up on the hill that seldom people might interested in.

Last but not the least, your schedule will be more flexible if you are traveling alone. It’s always the case that a travelling group has very tight schedule. Also, there are limit choice for you due to the financial or organization problem to the large group of people. Nevertheless, when you were travelling alone, you refer to your own financial status and timing to arrange your own trip. For example, you might spend two days visiting the summer palace if you like that place or you could just skip the Forbidden City if you think the entrance fee is unaffordable.


In conclusion, I strongly agree with the opinion that the best way for people to travel is to go alone. Since traveling is an important mean to relax and enjoy one self, thus, the advantage of flexibility as well as the self-focus is just too attractive for me to refuse.

Jodie_310UID: 2439321

Due to the increment of the average income of the whole society, traveling has becoming (become) one of the most preferable outdoor activities that people like. In some senses, traveling is a general habit of most people. However, when come to the question that whether the best way to travel is to travel by oneself or by group, people can’t always come to agreement. In my opinion, I believe that traveling by oneself could be more enjoyable than traveling in a group that led by someone else. My point of view bases on the following reasons.; t! E% v2 o2 l4 M1 }3 W0 |
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First of all, you could know your visiting site better since you should have sometime to prepare your trip. Although this process might be considered (to be 可省可不省，省了简洁点) time consuming, it actually adds the knowledge of the place you are going to visit. For example, if you are visiting the summer palace, you would probably referring (refer) to some website （s） and check for the history of the summer palace. These stories might included big events happened there or just some interesting unauthentic history (我觉得用anecdote更合适，趣闻轶事)
about the something people don’t much (?这里是不是缺了点什么), such as the huge jar on the road side. You can choose what to know and how much to (do ) you need to know about the tour site( is you prepare your trip yourself括号内的可以删掉吧，不然句子不通顺).
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Secondly, when you are traveling alone, you can travel (同一个句子中尽量避免重复用词，可换成visit之类的) to the place that interests you much. When you are going with a group led by someone, the group leader has to take everybody else’s interest into consideration. Thus, you might need to sacrifice your self-interest to the larger group. On the contrary, you can focus on your own interest when you are traveling alone. Again, take traveling to the summer palace for example, you might visit the tower up on the hill that seldom people might interested in.

Last but not the least, your schedule will be more flexible if you are traveling alone. It’s always the case that a travelling group has very tight schedule. Also, there are limit choice (s) for you due to the financial or organization problem to the large group of people. Nevertheless, when you were travelling alone, you refer to your own financial status and timing to arrange your own trip (you can take your own financial status into account and arrange your own trip. Would it be better?). For example, you might spend two days visiting the summer palace if you like that place or you could just skip the Forbidden City if you think the entrance fee is unaffordable.
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In conclusion, I strongly agree with the opinion that the best way for people to travel is to go alone. Since traveling is an important mean to relax and enjoy oneself, (thus去掉 ), the advantage （s） of flexibility as well as the self-focus is just too attractive for me to refuse.

楼主功底很好呀，句式多样，用词也很丰富。有些小细节再检查下就可以了。
理由想得也不错。我就是老凑不出3个理由，例子也很难想，头疼哎。。。

fish1044UID: 2190500

哇～这个点评太好了。你的功力也不浅。
你说的问题很到问，下次一定改正！

fish1044UID: 2190500

9.28 作业

    In the current society, people are being connected together tighter and tighter. You are inevitably related to others, in a friendly way or in a hostile way. So, the ones you are facing are either friends or enemies. Thus, friends are among the most important fortune that one could ever had. When refers to the questions that, whether humors friends are more important or smart friends more important, many people might find themselves in a dilemma position. However, I would view that question in this way: Smart friends are more important than humorous friends.

    First of all, humorous friends can only cheer you up in present while smart friend can make you laugh at last. It is true that smart friends might seem to be somewhat cruel when you are consoling them with your problem. For example, when I am facing the cross section in my life that I have to choose to work or continue my study, I make my decision with no hesitation that I would work after my graduate study since most of my friends did the same. However, one of my friends advised me that I should continue my study. He gives some specific reasons such as the cruel competition in the society as a master student as well as the fact that not every one has the chance to pursue a doctoral degree. This advice lights my way and I finally make up my mind to study abroad. A smart friend is very important especially in such critical situation.

    Moreover, it is much easier to find humorous friends than to find smart friends. Almost every person got some senses of humor, but only few of them could be called smart. Diamond is precious because it is rare. It is the same to friends. When you are hanging out with only the humorous friends, you can at most be another humorous people. Nevertheless, when you have some of the friends who are smart, you might have the chance to be one of them which would make yourself as precious as your smart friends since not every one could be consider as clever.

    In conclusion, friends are generally all important to anyone in the society. If I have to classify my friends as more important and less important, I think that the smart friend would influence me more. Not only could they help me make long term decision, but also they are themselves precious due to the small population of them.

独眼豆豆UID: 2692023

In the current society, people are being connected together tighter and tighter. You are inevitably related to others, either in a friendly way or in a hostile way. So, the onesperson you are facing are either friends or enemies. 这句话看不出来有什么意义，并且后面的thus与前面关联性不大Thus, friends are among the most important(precious) fortune that one could ever had. When refers to the questions that, whether humorshumorous friends are more important or are smart friends more important, many people might find themselves in a dilemma position. However, I would view that question in this way: Smart friends are more important than humorous friends.
    First of all, humorous friends can only cheer you up in present while smart friend can make you laugh at last. It is true that smart friends might seem to be somewhat cruel这里什么意思？ when you are consolingconsulting them with your problem. for example的内容和前面关系不紧密For example, when I am was facing the cross section in my life that whether I should have to choose to work or continue my study, I makemade my decision with no hesitation that I would work after my graduate study since most of my friends did the same. However, one of my friends advised me that I should continue my study. He givesgave some specific reasons such as the crueldrastic competition in the society as a master student这里什么意思，没看明白 as well as the fact that not every one has the chance to pursue a doctoral degree. This advice lighted my way and I finally makemade up my mind to study abroad. A smart friend is very important especially when you are in such critical situation.
    Moreover, it is much easier to find humorous friends than to find smart friends. Almost every person gothas more or less some a senses of humor, but only a few of them could be called smart. Diamond is precious because it is rare, which is applicable It is the same to smart friends. When you are hanging out with only the humorous friends, you can at most be another humorous people. Nevertheless, when you have some of the friends who are smart, you might have the chance to be one of them which would make yourself as precious as your smart friends since not every one could be considered as clever.
    In conclusion, friends are generally all important to anyone in the society.这个句子和文章中心一点关系都没有！in conclusion的内容要是你上面内容的总结，必须要写到humorous friend. If I have to classify my friends as more important and less important, I think that the smart friend would influence me more.前面说了if要classify,后面却没说怎么classify。 Not only could they help me make long term decision, but also they are themselves precious due to the small population of them.

fish1044UID: 2190500

9.30

Movies are becoming one of the life essentials in the modern society. With the development of the projecting technology, movies are also being more affordable for common people. However, the debate of whether a entertain movie or serious movie is better has been brought forward. In my opinion, both for the movie producer and the audience, entertain movie is preferable.

First of all, for the movie producer, they can make more money out of entertain movie. Those entertain movies cater the public’s taste so that people are more willing to pay for the movie tickets. For examples, the movie named “Transformer” has won a box income of almost a hundred million Chinese yuan in just a few days. On the contrary, the serious movie such as Oscar winner “Chicago” can’t be as profitable. Moreover, the money earned by the movie producer would then be reinvest on another entertain movie which also keeps the prosperous of the entertain movie market.

Secondly, for the audience, people would like to watch entertain movies more than serious ones. On the very basis, people watch movies mostly because they want to relax themselves. Serious could just make things worse since this kind of movies always make people think, which is the last thing people want to do while they are watching movie. However, the purpose of entertain movies are to amuse their audience, to make them laugh or excited. For example, the “Transformers” is movie that could bring you to another exciting world where car and some other electronic products can transform to robots. Also, the “Transformer” represents a lot of people’s memory of their childhood. It is no doubt that most of people like it.


As a conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea that entertain movies are better than serious movies. People actually turn to movies to seek an alternative way for them to relax, and entertain movies fit right on this. Moreover, due to the profit that entertain movie could bring to the movie producer, they are more willing to invest more money on this industry and thus boosting the improvement of the whole movie industry. Thus, no only for the audient, but also for the producer, entertain movies are certainly better than serious movie.

scarlettzfUID: 2594692

9.30
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( V+ G5 R% K7 S7 n' v2 M# A) [Movies are becoming one of the life essentials in the modern society. With the development of the projecting technology, movies are also being more affordable for common people. However, the debate of (on)whether a entertain movie or serious movie is better has been brought forward. In my opinion, both for the movie producer and the audience, entertain movie is preferable.
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* v$ n4 p( R2 T% x' wFirst of all, for the movie producer, they can make more money out of entertain movie. Those entertain movies cater the public’s taste so that people are more willing to pay for the movie tickets. For examples, the movie named “Transformer” has won a box income of almost a hundred million Chinese yuan in just a few days. On the contrary, the serious movie such as Oscar winner “Chicago” can’t be as profitable. (恩，个人觉得这个理由不是特别的充分。大众的需求是什么我们无从得知，事实上，奥斯卡的获奖者都有很好的收票房，当然赚的钱也就多了。)
Moreover, the money earned by the movie producer would then be reinvest on another entertain movie which also keeps the prosperous of the entertain movie market.
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; G: b/ u! |9 W. R) C4 |Secondly, for the audience, people would like to watch entertain movies more than serious ones. On the very basis, people watch movies mostly because they want to relax themselves. Serious could just make things worse since this kind of movies always make people think, which is the last thing people want to do while they are watching movie. However, the purpose of entertain movies are to amuse their audience, to make them laugh or excited. For example, the “Transformers” is movie that could bring you to another exciting world where car and some other electronic products can transform to robots. Also, the “Transformer” represents a lot of people’s memory of their childhood. It is no doubt that most of people like it.
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) ?+ V' [" s8 u  {4 v" SAs a conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea that entertain movies are better than serious movies. People actually turn to movies to seek an alternative way for them to relax, and entertain movies fit right on this. Moreover, due to the profit that entertain movie could bring to the movie producer, they are more willing to invest more money on this industry and thus boosting the improvement of the whole movie industry. Thus, no only for the audient, but also for the producer, entertain movies are certainly better than serious movie.
觉得你的英语功底很强大！！词汇量比较大，而且几乎没有什么语病（以我的水平来看，呵呵），但是就是观点上的逻辑性在把握一下。
我的作文和你写的完全不同的观点，也想请你指教一下！
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1012275&extra=
谢谢！