斑竹们~高手们~帮我看看我能不能上四分啊~

hurongchildUID: 2595535

今天是申请延期的最后一天，21号就考了，而我目前的水平不知能不能上四分，所以希望高手们给我看看，如果觉得可以上四分我就不延期了，如果不行的话请大家跟我说一声，因为没有上四分的话我还得重考~~今天早上给我们一个上了四分的高中同学看了看，她说我的习作比她的考试时写的好，同时也提了一些问题，但是毕竟是一个高手，我想多听听大家的意见，毕竟认识的人也会顾及我的感受，但是板油们不需要顾及我的感受，谢谢大家。这两篇作文时近期限时写的，不需要大家改，只要看看，说说我的水平能不能上四分，需不需要延期，这最后一周可以如何提高，想说什么就说什么吧~很紧急的哈~希望高手们帮帮忙~谢谢大家的帮助，小女子感激不尽~~

issue 69
Should the government place few restrictions on scientific research and development, as the speaker asserts? I fundamentally agree with the speaker, given that so much restriction will do harm to scientific development. But a comprehensive analysis tells us the importance of proper limits and regulation of the scientific research and development.

One compelling argument for the speaker's view is that the research in any scientific field cannot develop well when the government put restrictions and installments on it. When Bruno raised the hypothesis of the "sun-centered" conceptions, the government of Rome was frightened that this hypothesis would ruin their controlling and finally burned Bruno to death on the Rome Flower Square. Because of government's restriction, the study of geography was delayed and the "sun-centered" revolution was not broken out until hundreds of years later. In this example, we can see how great the influence that the government restrictions have on the scientific development is.

Another appealing argument for the speaker's view is that the scientific research can develop better when the government didn't limit it but give support to it. One of the most important developing countries--China--has witnesses a great progress in its scientific and technological development. Because of the support of its government, its astronomy, high-tech fields, medicine research and nuclear weapon field have all experienced big development, which make China a country that cannot be ignored in the scientific field all around the world. If the government of China doesn't give support to scientific study and put restrictions to it, China can hardly achieve such goal so quickly and greatly.

However, when we realize that the government's restriction is detrimental to the scientific development, we should also realize that proper and reasonable restrictions on the scientific study is sometimes good and even necessary for the goodness of the country and the world in the long run. For instance, the research of the technology of colon has to be under the restrictions of the governments, or very serious ethical problem would arise and threaten the order of society. Also the mass--destruction weapons have to be developed and controlled by the government well, or the safety of people's lives all around the world would be at risk.

In the final analysis, the best way to deal this issue is to seek for a balance between the government's restrictions and the freedom of the scientific study. The government should not place many restrictions on the scientific study that is good for society and country, while at the same time the government should watch it to develop to the direction that is good for people by laws and regulations. Only in this way will science benefit society to the most extant.


argument203
TOPIC: ARGUMENT203 - The following appeared in a newspaper feature story.
"At the small, nonprofit hospital in the town of Saluda, the average length of a patient's stay is two days; at the large, for-profit hospital in the nearby city of Megaville, the average patient stay is six days. Also, the cure rate among patients in the Saluda hospital is about twice that of the Megaville hospital. The Saluda hospital has more employees per patient than the hospital in Megaville, and there are few complaints about service at the local hospital. Such data indicate that treatment in smaller, nonprofit hospitals is more economical and of better quality than treatment in larger, for-profit hospitals."
WORDS: 399
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2009-9-12 21:00:48

The argument concludes that treatment in nonprofit hospitals is more economical and has better quality than treatment in larger, for-profit hospitals. To support this conclusion the speaker cites the facts that in the nonprofit hospital in Saluda the average length of patient's stay is shorter, the cure rate among patients is higher, the number of employees is bigger, and the complaints there are less than in the nearby for-profit hospital in Megaville. This argument is logically unconvincing in several critical respects.

In the first place, the speaker assumes that the treatment in the nonprofit hospital is more economical and of better quality, based on the fact that the average length of patient's stay is shorter. However, a shorter stay doesn't necessarily indicate that the nonprofit hospital is of better quality and more economical. Perhaps the nonprofit hospital is less responsible for the patients due to their nonprofit nature. And the patients are asked to go back home before they are totally cured. If this is the case, this nonprofit hospital's quality is not guaranteed. Without possibilities like this the speaker cannot convince me that this nonprofit hospital is of better quality.

The speaker also considers that a higher cure rate indicates a better quality, but he fails to take into the account the possibility that patients with serious illness tend to go to larger hospitals and patients with just small problems like headache and cold may just go to some smaller hospitals to seek for help. Considering the fact that the serious illness is more difficult to cure than the slight problem, we can understand why the small, nonprofit hospital in Saluda has a higher cure rate even if it is not of better quality than the for-profit hospital.

Moreover, having more employees per patient is not a sure indicator that the nonprofit hospital is better. Perhaps the nonprofit hospital is less efficient in dealing with illness and therefore need more employees. The speaker also unfairly claims that the nonprofit hospital has better quality because there are few complaints about service there. It is entirely possible that the patients who go to the for-profit hospital have higher expectations because they need to pay for the treatment, and therefore they are more likely to complain.

In conclusion, the argument, while it seems logical at first, has several flaws discussed above. The argument could be improved by providing more information about the real quality in the nonprofit hospital and make clear the real reason why the average stay length is shorter, the cure rate is higher and the complaints are less than in the for-profit hospital.

hurongchildUID: 2595535

各位斑竹们~请你们帮帮忙吧~我在寄托太傻都发了帖子 还没有人理我呢 真是焦急啊···

stanzyUID: 2629386

and installments on it. installment在这里是什么意思？分期付款？
how great the influence that the government restrictions have on the scientific development is have 改为has，我觉得这句话的主语是how great the influence，所以......
Also the mass--destruction weapons have to be developed and controlled by the government well应该是as well吧？

but he fails to take into the account the possibility take into the possibility into account that
therefore need 改为needs
总体来讲这篇argument还是很容易找错误的。按照顺序把那三个问题说说就行了。我觉得楼主的argument和issue简直不是一个水平！Argument写得特别好，而issue就有点......我不是说别的不好啊，别介意：）我的意思是说不如argument好。努努力，四分总是有的：）

hurongchildUID: 2595535

3# stanzy 恩 你说的对 我高中同学也这么说 但我就是argu用了模板 而issue没用···模板真的如此强大吗~~我知道我的issue不好的~所以很焦急吗~你觉得这两篇文章能上四分吗？issue我应该怎么办呢·····？

stanzyUID: 2629386

说实话，我也不知道能不能上4分，也没有4分的过来交流一下经验。我准备这次试验一下在完全没有模板的条件下Issue到底能有多少分。所以我也算是半裸考状态了，呵呵：）不行的话，两三个月后又是一条好汉：）

Issue是可以借用Argument模板的。比如你提出一个论点，然后可以谈谈你为什么这么认为，如果不这样会怎么怎么。我觉得Issue就像一些话题，可以谈谈感想嘛，还有为什么我会有这种感想。有一些新东方的提纲，我就觉得很跑题。一说历史，就是历史对过去现在将来的作用。废话！谁不知道历史有那些作用啊。GRE毕竟是研究生考试，研究生就这点思考水平啊。

所以这次考试，我决定发泄一下。把自己平时思考过的问题写写得了。万一真碰到了 The absence of choice is very very rare的题目，我就再看看另一个。实在要写了，也就谈谈感想吧。我总是觉得谈感想字数少，但是字数多了就一定分数多吗？

hurongchildUID: 2595535

说实话，我也不知道能不能上4分，也没有4分的过来交流一下经验。我准备这次试验一下在完全没有模板的条件下Issue到底能有多少分。所以我也算是半裸考状态了，呵呵：）不行的话，两三个月后又是一条好汉：）

Issue ...
stanzy 发表于 2009-9-13 21:53

issue可以用argu的模板吗~~？我就觉得我思想很贫乏，真的看了一个话题后不知该说些什么了····

stanzyUID: 2629386

我是说你可以看看Argument的一个问题是怎样展开讨论的。先提一个主题，对吧？然后为了证明它写了一堆证明和推理，对吧？然后写一个建设性的结论。我觉得这就可以当成Issueu的模板。怎么说呢，以前有一个美国人说：如果我们辩论，那我们就说：I agree with you. Because 1,2,3.或者I don't agree with you. Becasue 1,2,3.而你们中国人似乎就不说什么证据，只重复自己的主张。这不就是在说咱们得Issue吗？即使在Issue里不举例子，起码也应该有一些推理吧？我看了好多同学的作文似乎都在重复自己的主张，那不就成循环论证了？字数挺多，其实内容非常少

所以，明天我也去考试了。我想试着少些点字，多写写论证过程或者什么的，看看能有多少分：）我想楼主时间还多吧？没关系的，可以再练练

hurongchildUID: 2595535

7# stanzy
恩 确实应该论证多一点 我觉得我有论证啊~我每个点都举了例子啊~
你今天就考啊~加油加油~~你人这么好一定高频的~~

daniel.wuzUID: 2679294

我觉得你写的挺好的，真的
其实你看看官方出的4分的文章，也就是有个结构在那里
3分的基本就是不沾边。
我觉得如果楼主AW只是想拿4分，好好搞搞argument，把argument的分拿高了，issue的分就算拿个3个，一扯平均分也很高

hurongchildUID: 2595535

我觉得你写的挺好的，真的
其实你看看官方出的4分的文章，也就是有个结构在那里
3分的基本就是不沾边。
我觉得如果楼主AW只是想拿4分，好好搞搞argument，把argument的分拿高了，issue的分就算拿个3个，一扯平均分 ...
daniel.wuz 发表于 2009-9-14 13:39

嘿嘿~首先谢谢你~看官方的觉得四分好像不难，但是那么多人的作文结构那么完整，字数又那么多，却只有3.5，3分的，让我觉得很奇怪，也许ets提高了难度呢···?我觉得我要是得四分，就只有让argu上5，issue上3，但是能不能达到是个问题呢···

fizzacreedUID: 2589636

我的帖子被删了？
我记得我回过帖子的啊

hurongchildUID: 2595535

11# fizzacreed
应该不会吧~可能是没有留上言~~你再留一次啦~谢谢你哈~~你说的啥啊？

hurongchildUID: 2595535

TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 446          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009-9-14 21:23:36

Does the most beneficial influence of history lie in breaking down the illusion that people living in different times are different greatly from each other? The speaker claims so, and I fundamentally agree with the speaker, but I believe the influences of history are not confined with just one aspect.

People indeed have a belief that the different people living in different time differ from each other greatly, before they explore and learn more from history. This common belief is held because the condition and environment in which people live during history have changed, with new ideas and methods coming out. With the thinking that people can be influenced by the environment, they believe as well that people are changing with the development of environment.

However, this belief has caused many bad results. Because people believe they are different from people in the history, they assume that the things happened in the past to the generations before would not happen again. For instance, they often think what they are thinking and doing are right, ignoring the fact that people in history often made mistakes. When the earlier Americans stop the people with different skin colors to join in the public inquisition as politics and education, they treat the view held by Martin Luther King as strange, forgetting that in the history, when many innovative and right ideas arise, people usually press those ideas.

It is after people learn history and start to respect it that they begin to realize that actually people in different times are very similar in many ways: they all make mistakes, they always tend to believe their own views and reject others’ views, and they have similar negative characteristics such as laziness and self-conceited. When the lesson of history is reinforced once and once again, people finally realize that they should respect history and use history as a powerful and intelligent consultant when they face new things. For instance, when the financial crisis happened in 2008, informed economists went back to the economical crisis in 1930s because people and the rule in society are very similar with those in the past.

While the history indeed break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from those living in other time, the significances of history are not confined in only this aspect. History is not just a mirror of the past, but also an indicator of the present and the future; history provides us a safety feeling because we all belong to certain times and groups and cannot be separated from the people living in other time.

Therefore, as I see this issue, I agree with the speaker that history plays a vital role in breaking down the illusion that people living in different times differ from each other. However, we should also consider the importance of history in other aspects. This is how we can understand history thoroughly and make the best of it.

hurongchildUID: 2595535

TOPIC: ARGUMENT238 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.
"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."
WORDS: 347          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2009-9-14 21:23:36
In this memorandum, the arguer recommends that Mira Vista College (MV) to offer more business courses and computer technology and hire additional job counselors. To support this recommendation, the editorial compares the job-finding situations in the Green Mountain College (GM) with the situations in MV. This argument is logically unconvincing in several critical respects.

In the first place, by saying that the MV should learn from the GM, the argument unfairly assumes that the graduations from GM can find better jobs than the graduations from MV. The argument doesn't give enough evidence to support this assumption. Although 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors find jobs from perspective employer, this number doesn't necessarily indicate that all the jobs they found are promising. Perhaps the jobs they got were just some not decent jobs and paid humbly. Also, in the MV, it is entirely possible that the graduations who did not informed the placement office had got excellent jobs. If the situation in MV is better than that in GM, it is not necessary for MV to learn from GM at all.

Even if the job finding situations in GM is better, this success might not be a result of the more business courses and more job counselors. Firstly, the success might not result from the better resumes and interviewing skills. It might because that the graduations from GM have better basic knowledge and academic performance. Also, even if they indeed have better interviewing skills, these skills are possible be the consequences of their own efforts and own talents, but not the results of more business courses and more job counselors.

Even if the better job finding situations in GM was due to more business courses and more counselors, this doesn't mean this success will happen in MV as well. Perhaps MV already have enough business courses and enough job counselors, and addition of these things would not work out. Or, perhaps, the students in MV are not talent enough, and they cannot benefit from this action for their own problems.

In conclusion, the argument, while it seems logical at first, has several flaws discussed above. The argument could be improved by providing evidence that the job-finding situation in GM is indeed better than that in MV. It could be further improved by substantiating that the success in GM was due to more business courses and more job counselors there and this success could be repeated in MV.

hurongchildUID: 2595535

你们觉得这两篇和前两篇比较如何？我觉得又退步了···你们觉得呢~~