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本帖最后由 pluka 于 2009-11-22 17:05 编辑
11.21,继续作业
第四次作业
16、argument188【FF小组】 by duyuan3377 第一篇限时模考的argu,限时基本成功
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=897984&highlight
TOPIC: ARGUMENT188 - A new report suggests that men and women experience pain very differently from one another, and that doctors should consider these differences when prescribing pain medications. When researchers administered the same dosage of kappa opioids-a painkiller-to 28 men and 20 women(实验永远是破绽之一)who were having their wisdom teeth extracted, the women reported feeling much less pain than the men, and the easing of pain lasted considerably longer in women. This research suggests that kappa opioids(非要这种药?)should be prescribed for women whenever(前面不是牙疼么)pain medication is required, whereas men should be given other kinds of pain medication(对男的就无效吗). In addition, researchers should reevaluate the effects of all (明显的范围扩大,无根据)medications on men versus women.
Duyuan筒子的思路:
1、 将范围扩大到所有药物是不合理的。
2、 实验太模糊。
3、 认为K对女性效果强于男性是不合理的。
私以为2和3点可以合并,因为都是关于实验的。像这一种题目不太好写啊……除了实验这个点比较明显之外,很难批驳……
这篇的模板化是一眼就可以看得出来的(大概是前面看了十多篇,有底了——才十多篇就觉得大家的模板都很相似,那么阅卷人看了NNNNN篇,岂不是满脑子都是了?确实,看到相同的开头模式、相同的中段安排、相同的结尾结构,甚至连句子都出现了高频重复句——还是在非常重要的开头和结尾——不觉得无聊才怪。这种情况下只能依靠你的观点来吸引他的注意。问题是,能做到吗?呜呼,模板问题很重要、很重要。语言表达很重要、很重要。要让阅卷人看得眼前一亮,至少觉得不那么僵硬陈腐,才有可能分给你更多的注意力啊!)
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17、argument80~限时完成~还有三天考试~给点建设性意见~斑竹空的话帮忙拍BY wt_2005
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=890901&highlight
TOPIC: ARGUMENT80 - The following appeared as an editorial in a health magazine.
"Clormium 5 is an odorless, tasteless, and generally harmless industrial by-product that can enter the water supply. A preliminary study has linked cooking with water containing clormium 5 to an increased incidence of allergies and skin rashes. Tests of the drinking water in several areas(有病例吗?)have revealed the presence of clormium 5. Although it is possible to remove clormium 5 from water, the costs of routine testing and purification are higher than many communities can afford. Therefore, in order to prevent allergies and skin rashes, communities that cannot afford to rid their drinking water of clormium 5 should(有其他方法吗?)replace drinking fountains in public(?前面的研究可只提到cooking!)buildings, such as schools and libraries, with bottled-water coolers."
Wt的思路:
1、 实验存疑。
2、 让步,就算实验结果正确,那几处的含量也不一定致病。
3、 让步,就算上述假设都成立,也可以有其他方法不一定要更换成瓶装水。
帖子后面有cadget筒子的点评,嗯~跟我的想法差不多。Argu里面实验啊调查什么的肯定有漏洞,要批,但不应当作为重点!重点应当是那些隐含的假设、推论什么的。
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18、argument15, 终于限时完整了 BY kingplough
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=886725&highlight
TOPIC: ARGUMENT15 - The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors.
"Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire(会实施吗)to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products(种类种类)abound in many food stores(与OD的销售区的位置、顾客群一样吗). Since many(哪些?是不是这些食物本身就应该高热高脂)of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and their profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares and other investors not to purchase stock in this company."
Kingp筒子的点:
1、 调查可信度不够。(提到了好几点,都不错!)
2、 低热量食物多并不能说明什么。
3、 让步,就算能说明什么,这时候卖股票也不一定是最好的选择。(这一点好!我就没能分析出来……)
很不错的一篇!观点解释得清楚,语言也很自然,模板痕迹不多。怎么说呢,这个模板痕迹的准则……就是一种感觉吧!细细想一下,发现其实是很看语言的。语言质量一上去,句式多变了,氛围轻松了,整体自然了,模板的僵硬感自然就少了。更重要的恐怕还是要轻松自然。
==================================
24、Argument15--求拍,(限时完成) BY zwolfe
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=817124&highlight
同主题,提前来看。模板化重了点。在攻击调查不合理的时候指出,参与这种调查的可能本身对健康就比较关注,自然会选低热量食物——这种人的天生倾向因素往往是我忽略的啊!
==================================
19、Argument1,球拍(限时没有完成,拖延五分钟) BY dugufly
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=885971&highlight
TOPIC: ARGUMENT1 - The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Previous experience(!)has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives.(能考虑健康生活的起码就不是穷人,卖得好很有可能,但不一定是因为健康)We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville(没有实地调查), which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time(空前的高,那么是不是有外因影响比如要办奥运会了= =)highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full(以上只能泛泛说明重视运动,但并不等于重视健康生活!). We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.(喂,后面完全离题了吧!)"
这个错处还是比较明显的,一环套一环的错误假设错误推论,越偏得越多。
然而dugu同学批的三个点分别是运动衫、俱乐部和儿童健身,流于表面,偏题了。
again,要注意的是推理过程,时刻要提醒自己结论是什么,中心问题是什么!
===============================
20、argument137,终于限时写出来了 BY kingplough
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=883504&highlight
TOPIC: ARGUMENT137 - The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.
"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."
哎呀,这个跟第7篇是同主题……归的时候忘记了。
这一篇很难写啊,思路什么的很难想到新的,基本上就是围着another explanation之类来的。
===============================
21、限时写的argument38,往死里拍吧~~ BY hx880603
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=878125&highlight
TOPIC: ARGUMENT38 - The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds(难道感冒了人人都看医生?不是吃个药就好了嘛!不吃药也能好!). Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds(完全无道理). Since colds are the reason(很多时候大家只是找个借口,不是真的感冒吧)most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement(为啥不直接吃鱼) derived from fish oil(什么种类的鱼,跟前面的一致么), as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
论证过程中用了好多错误假设和武断的判断,一步一步就偏题了……
Hx的思路:
1、 批看病少和没感冒的联系。
2、 批逃课是因为感冒。
3、 批I药有用。
4、 提出降低逃课率的其他原因。
大方面跟我想的差不多,细节有不同,但觉得段落的顺序可以调整一下,这样子看不出什么逻辑联系,最好能将各个段落联系起来,一环一环地批,力量增加很多的。一个常用手法就是让步,问题是,让步也是很复杂的啊……一着不慎就误用了啊……sigh,多看多练多把握吧!
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28、快考了,急求拍!第一篇限时,未完成。ARGUMENT38,哭死了!BY xushaonan611051
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=799974&highlight
跟第21篇是同主题。
Xus的思路:
1、 批调查结果。
2、 批鱼油能治感冒提高出勤。把治感冒和提高出勤放在同一位置?感觉混乱了,作者的意思应该是因果而不是并列
3、 批缺席是因为感冒。这与上一段很有些连接问题,上一段应该好好改一下
4、 批地理因素不同应加以考虑。这是一个点,但不是重点
==================================
22、argument17,第一次限时写,球拍,谢谢!(已修正简单语法错误)BY ustcmc(Shaka)
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=863955&highlight
TOPIC: ARGUMENT17 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Walnut Grove town newspaper.
"Walnut Grove's town council has advocated switching from EZ Disposal (which has had the contract for trash collection services in Walnut Grove for the past ten years) to ABC Waste, because EZ recently raised its monthly fee from $2,000 to $2,500 a month, whereas ABC's fee is still $2,000. But the town council is mistaken; we should continue using EZ. EZ collects trash twice a week, while ABC collects only once. Moreover, EZ-which, like ABC, currently has a fleet of 20 trucks-has ordered additional trucks. Finally, EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were 'satisfied' with EZ's performance."
啊呀,这一篇!此前看过一篇帖子分析的……额……不记得是哪一篇帖子了,总之很厉害!嗯这篇的思路跟那个差不多:环保、车多不等于表现好、为啥涨价。
貌似17是很难写的一篇(看到有说法称17是最难写的之一,本人连题库都没看完一遍,没有发言权)。说到难写,就是思路啊思路!argument这东西最根本的最重要的总是思路,再想到是跟NNNNNN个人一起写……就觉得思路要出彩是多么的困难……
============================
好,8篇,休息。
看了这些篇,感觉出模板是个什么概念了。说实话,我一直都不知道那是什么= =||| BS俺吧,俺新东方只上过一个词汇课,没上过别的,也没上过其他培训,诸如机经啊模板啊这个那个的考试术语,一直是不懂的……因为听说模板很影响分数,所以心中对其怀有一种莫名的恐惧,同时又不知道那到底是个啥,于是恐惧加深= =|||……现在虽然也不能完全把握那是个啥东西,不过大概能体会到为什么说模板很影响分数了。真是很缺少个性和灵活感~主要是不够自然啊。如果哪天俺每篇作文不用事先想要套什么结构,大笔一挥唰唰唰……那是不要命了= =||| 呜呼!其实模板这东西跟个人写作习惯也有关吧,大家都有爱用的结构嘛!嗯接下来要锻炼的,就是努力让自己爱用的结构变得精炼有效与众不同,养成好习惯,不一定要模板~
11.22, 发现第28篇跟21是同主题,忽略了,编辑到一起。 |
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