1006G adammaksim的备考日记--杀G需用宰牛刀

adammaksimUID: 2675466

From imong：
一篇非典型的6分argument范文。

TEST 1: ARGUMENT TOPIC

The country Myria, which charges fees for the use of national parks, reports little evidence of environmental damage. This strongly suggests that for the country Illium, the best way to preserve public lands is to charge people more money when they are using national parks and wilderness areas for activities with heavy environmental impact. By collecting fees from people who overuse public lands, Illium will help preserve those lands for present and future generations.


Essay Response – Score 6

This argument is not cogent because it assumes that the stated correlation implies causation, which is not necessarily the case. 概括性起手——一点都不啰嗦。The argument asserts that because the country of Myria charges fees for the use of national parks, there is little evidence of environmental damage. But there are several reasons why one cannot assume that the lack of evidence of environmental damage is a result of the fact that individuals are charged to use these parks.提出来“因果”不成立。另外，看看人家的开头多简单。再次证明，新东方经典八婆开头只有在一篇6分范文里出现过——而且还立刻被commentary骂。各位自己好好想想吧。

First, just because there is a lack of evidence does not preclude the fact that environmental damage may in fact be occurring. 提出来：这个果本身就有问题。 The individuals who are testing the area for evidence of damage may not have the proper scientific instruments or educational training necessary to detect damage that may be present. 注意这里提到的具体的反驳理由，光是maybe they failed to detect相比maybe they lack the … to successfully… 当然缺乏说服力。这也是为什么我一直强调所谓的“具体”和“细节”。In fact, certain kinds of environmental damage may not be detectable in the short term even using the most sophisticated scientific methods.这样子一个in fact更进一步提出额外的可能性 Imbalance in ecosystems, for example, may only become apparent over a long period of time. 作者仍然是不放过“certain kinds of..”，直接扔出来一个“imbalance in ecosystems”，这样子一下子把原题驳得哑口无言。没有这个“imbalance”作为“具体”，达不到这个效果。这一个段落完胜。

Second, even if we concede that there is in fact negligible amounts of environmental damage,小让一步 this does not necessarily mean that by collecting money from individuals who are using the parks one can use these funds to maintain the land for future generations. An alternative explanation may be that because the country charges a fee to use the national parks, people are less inclined to use the parks. It then stands to reason that with fewer people in the parks, there will be less of a detrimental impact on the environment. 这里这一段似乎有点晦涩，不过我的理解是作者重点在于通过指出“人少了”和“捞钱了”的差异，批驳原题的最后一句by collecting fees… help preserve。In addition, even if people are willing to pay the fee, the funds collected may be insufficient to cover the costs of maintaining and preserving the parkland. 再进一步指出和“钱”实际上没太大关系。

Finally, even if we accept that the situation in Myria is successful in that country, we cannot assume that this same scenario will work in Illium.再让一步，拿出杀手锏——经典错误：地区差异。看看人家怎么展开的： There are a myriad of variables that can contribute to the success of this type of environmental maintenance and restoration program.跟上面一样：光这一句解决不了问题。我们很多人的argument只是知道写到这一句，就是死活不知道再往下来上一句这个分就上去了（不知道是不是都是因为给新东方那堆逻辑名词给教的）： Pre-existing and uncontrollable environmental conditions 到这里其实都还是泛泛而谈such as the rate of erosion and the overall climate may cause damage that cannot be rectified by monetary solutions. 好，就要看这里：such as一出，立马摆平。 In addition, cultural norms regarding how one views his or her responsibility and role 更夸张了，连cultural norm都拽出来了 in terms of preserving the environment may influence the intensity of environmental damage that may be sustained. 看了这段，见识了什么叫做“具体”，什么叫做“细节”了吗？人家就是要拿实际分析，拿这种的“实例”来说明问题。“挑”逻辑错误在那里纸上谈兵并不难，可是“写”AW可是要给“说”明白的。

Thus, although the strategy of charging citizens of Myria for the use of its parks in order to collect funds for any restoration that may be required may be successful in Myria, this reality alone does not conclusively suggest that such a strategy would be effective in Illium or any other country. 结语落在了最后一段的论调上。


要用具体事例说问题~~

adammaksimUID: 2675466

借用一下我同学的签名：大中华局域网，天朝子民专用~
1.13
a swelling chorus of critics  这个chorus很常见~异口同声

For education has assumed that human nature is a receptacle for 'facts,' and that this diet of facts will of itself somehow lead to knowledge, and that knowledge by an even more mysterious alchemy will then become wisdom . . . 这段论述很精辟
Buchenwald  应该是来自一个集中营的地名~


mildew 霉

comments:

Once again, this is a article about education and religion and once again I lose my tongue, for I never figure out why education is always entangled with God...What are the "aims" of education and why the pastor as mentioned in the essay define the aim as one "gigantic evasion". Moreover the numerous
metaphors, though gracefully presented, distract my attention to understand the main purpose of the author.

quit here...

adammaksimUID: 2675466

绝不改期
因为
我心疼钱。。。

虫虫一路顺风~~

adammaksimUID: 2675466

bill of rights  a list of the rights that are considered important and essential by a nation.

syphily Syphilis is a sexually transmitted disease caused by the spirochetal bacterium


parlors n.会客室


religion is as unmentionable as syphilis was in Victorian parlors. 一个很辛辣的比喻~~


too hot a potato 烫手山芋~


waterworks 自来水厂。。。？


Schools should accept religion and the churches as a factor of social life, just as much as they do the waterworks.


water down 掺水，使行文不那么有力  原来英文里也有掺水一说~~


In the study of ... community life—government, markets, industry, labor, welfare, and the like—there [is no] reason for the omission of contemporary religious institutions and practices.



[It deserves study] conducted with at least as much respect as is given to the great secular classics, and devoid of arbitrary interpretations to the same extent. . . ."


existing classes on history, sociology, psychology, economics, philosophy, literature, music, the fine arts.


comments:
It's another article about the religion which deals with a problem we never meet in a atheism country. To be honest, the subject is kind of vague for me. Although truly favor a separation of church & state, I don't know whether it is wise for the religion & education. Maybe religion is not so important, for most students in China who may learn little about religion during their education can still behave themselves with the communist " Eight Honors & Eight Disgraces" in their minds...
Ok, I'm kidding. What I actually agree with is " to teach about the religion, but not to teach religion itself". That means, in my opinion, for a better understanding of our secular world and ourselves, religions should be taught as a subject and a phenomena of human culture instead of a pre-existing truth for people to accept leaving no latitude of inquiring.

adammaksimUID: 2675466

基本是觉得时间越来越少了
加油吧~~~

adammaksimUID: 2675466

National Endowment for the Arts an independent agency of the United States federal government that offers support and funding for projects exhibiting artistic excellence

soft-core 晦涩的

underachieveing adj. 不得志的

matinees 日场

baptize vt.为。。。施洗礼


If the virtue of the arts is their capacity to inspire economic activity, it’s not clear why they deserve special consideration over, say, restaurants or fashion designers. Isn’t it possible, after all, that we’re going to the symphony mostly as an excuse to wear that new Oscar de la Renta silk faille kimono gown, or as an afterword to a meal at Jardiniere? Even if we don’t axe the NEA in favor of the National Endowment for Snooty Designer Labels and Fancy San Francisco Restaurants, shouldn’t we at least be urging it to expand its support of the kinds of live theater—comedy clubs, strip clubs, WWE wrestling—that are likely to draw bigger, more economically exploitable crowds than a bilingual puppetry adaptation of Don Quixote?整段论述都相当精彩~

comments:
I should say this is such a eloquent essay with strong logic and full of pungent ironies. If this is a ISSUE response, with no doubt, it totally reaches the 6 level.
Whether it is reasonable for artists beg for subsidies from the government like, say, those banks and manufacture companys in a time of bailout? To this question, the author gives out a certainly "no". In his opinion, artists, as a group, should be special in our society who will bent themselves to the so-called sugar daddy. And this remind me of a famous saying " Don't bent yourself for bread." form a great Chinese poet. However, in a more pratical thinking, I have to say even artists will need money to maintain thier fundamental necessities as common people. As I know, many talented artiest live a poor life with bad health condition. Sometimes subsidies is necessary for a better development of art.

adammaksimUID: 2675466

neuron n.神经元 soup up  加大马力的 comments: To be honest, I don't like giving comments about this kind of paper with only description about a new technology and little controversial points. Thus I always feel like having nothing to say. In this essay, the author tells us something about the ontogenetic which may be a combination of optics and genetics. As I know, because of absence of a precise method to reveal he activities of our brain, out understanding about our most important organ is as little as we do about a planet millions of light-years away. However, with this promising and groundbreaking technology, now It is possible for scientists to scan the micro machanism of the brain and finally help people get away from the shadow of Parkinson's disease and schizophrenia.

adammaksimUID: 2675466

beef up 加强 comments: I'm happy to see a technology once used to destroy computers and telecommunication system, now may lower the price of cars and benefit our society. As a students majoring in EE, I'm familiar with the physical process of generating an EMP, or known as electromagnetic pulse. And the principle of it has been discovered many years ago by Faraday. However we always need some great practicer to transform those mighty theoretical tools into gears and devices that can bring convenience to our daily life. And the use of EMP in auto industry is a good example.