草根修改铺(楼主不在）

bzr2915UID: 2612029

42.The following appeared in a proposal from the economic minister of the country of Paraterra.
"In order to strengthen its lagging economy, last year the government of the nearby country of Bellegea began an advertising campaign to promote ecologically sound tourism (ecotourism). This year the number of foreign visitors arriving at Bellegea's main airport doubled, and per capita income in Bellegea increased by ten percent. To provide more income for the population of Paraterra and also preserve the natural environment of our tiny country, we too should begin to promote ecotourism. To ensure that our advertising campaign is successful, we should hire the current director of Bellegea's National Tourism Office as a consultant for the campaign."
临近城市Bellegea的政府为促进其落后的经济，去年开展了一项对生态旅游的广告推广。今年到达Bellegea主要机场的外国游客数量翻了一番，人均收入增加了10％。为增加Paraterra居的收入并保护我们有限国土的天然环境，我们也应该推广生态旅游。为保证我们广告策略的成，我们应该雇佣Bellegea现任国家旅游局的主任来担任广告的顾问。

题外话：昨天买手机拿回来一查竟然是翻新机，气翻了，今天还要去找JS血拼，叹... 所以改的比较晚 也可能比较仓促，大家的互改激情好弱啊。。。 恩，以下为个人观点，批判性接受，仅供参考~

    论断忽略了一个前提，就是我们是否有足够的生态旅游资源。如果没有这方面的资源，或是资源不足以吸引人，一切推广活动和广告都是空谈。非常不幸，论者忽略了这一点。
        而对于雇用B国旅游办的经理做广告顾问的建议，其中有一个必需的前提是不被保证的。就是雇用此人有利于我们的广告，但论者既没有提供资料证明B国的成功是因为广告做得好，也没有提供证明此人了解我国的情况，这些资料没有，都不能保证雇用他会对我们的广告有利。
        论者论据不具有说服力。论者引用B国的成功经验，说到他们机场的顾客多了一倍，收入升了10%。首先B国的生态旅游不一定是成功的，因为到机场的顾客不一定参加生态游，而且收入的上升也可能是因为B国在其他领域的发展。其次B国的经验是否适合我们，论者没有给出任何资料，说明两国在生态资源、人文环境、国际地位方面有什么相同，这些都不是因为是邻居而必然相同的。论者引用的论据对于说服我们推广生态游和雇用广告顾问都没有说服力。
        论者结论太武断。论者说为提高收入保存自然环境，我们太需要推广生态游。另外生态游的开发推广若也不必然带来自己然环境的保存，还需要有好的措施。
结论：论者若要加强说服力，还应该提供本国的生态资源状况，是否能够吸引外国人来旅游。而对于是否用此人作顾问，还需要提供它国生态游发展的具体资料，并提供资料证明他对我国的非常了解
                                                                                                                   --资料来源：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-945516-1-1.html


In this analysis, the arguer advocates that the country of Paraterra should start to promote ecotourism, for it will benefit the increasing of income for the population of Paraterra and the preserving of the natural environment. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer cites the example of nearby country of Bellegea, which through the promoting of ecotourism, the number of foreign visitors arriving at Bellegea's main airport doubled, and the citizens of Bellegea's per capita income increased by ten percent. Meanwhile, the arguer claims that to guarantee the success of Bellegea's advertising campaign, Bellegea should engage the current director of Bellegea's National Tourism Office as a consultant for the campaign. At first, the argument might seemly reasonable, however, a thoroughly examination would reveal how groundless the conclusion is.（很规矩的开头，重述略显罗嗦，虽然对整篇文章作用不大，个人觉得时间够也未尝不可，关于开头楼上可以参考历年坛子里的讨论）

First of all, the premise of this conclusion is not established. A significant prerequisite to promote ecotourism is the country have enough ecological resources which could be exploited. However, the whole passage doesn't show what kinds of ecological resources the Paraterra have, whether this country have the potential capacity as its neighboring country of Bellegea to promote ecotourism. If the country of Paraterra lacks enough ecological resources, the whole proposal means nothing. Besides, the proposal of engaging the current director of Bellegea's National Tourism Office as a consultant for the campaign fails to concern that whether the director has the ability to help them, even the director could efficiently promote the ecotourism in Bellegea, who can ensure she/he will success in Paraterra, concerning she/he doesn't familiar with the condition of Bellegea. Without these key premises, it's impossible to conclude any meaningful conclusions.
这一段对两个谬误的攻击是有效的，但并不突出，一个逻辑漏洞一个COUNTER-EXAMPLE是很无力或者说太大众的反驳，平庸从这儿就可以看的出来。具体点在这一段，对于第一个错误你的反驳理由是如果目的城市没有生态资源那么就不能实行，这仅仅是你的一个臆断，到底目的城市有没有生态资源值得开发这一点文章没有提我们也不知道。为了让你的论述更加有力，紧接着你应该递进一下讨论就算目的城市有生态资源也不足以说明其情况可以普适到原城市BE，比如目的城市的生态资源少或者没有特色不足以吸引人等等。关于第二个漏洞，你仅攻击了XX人能力不行如何如何，对城市的不熟悉如何如何，到底什么能力不行？为什么对城市不熟悉会影响其办事效率，这些你都要讨论，虽然你觉得没有必要，其实ETS很看重。其实这里还有一点“做广告”原文没有任何证据说这个人在广告方面做得牛X。
你大可以如上述递进反驳某个错误，鄙人举的例子仅为抛砖引玉，也许不对，批判性接受。

In addition, even if we acknowledge the establishment of above mentioned preconditions, the author's arguments are insufficient to support the conclusion. The arguer takes the success of Bellegea as an example to prove that promoting the ecotourism in Paraterra also will be succeed, but the problem is that the two situations are maybe not similar enough to justify the analogical deduction. We have not enough statistics to prove that the two countries have the similar climate, geographical features, traffic condition, etc. Any differences will make the success of Bellegea cannot be duplicated in the Paraterra.（略显泛泛） Moreover, the purpose of the foreign visitors arriving at Bellegea's main airport probably not for touring, maybe for the conference or business, or just transfer, and the increasing of the incoming of citizens of Bellegea maybe due to the development of industry in the Bellegea.

Finally, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. The purpose of promoting ectourism is to increase the income of the population of Paraterra and preserve the natural environment. Nonetheless, there is no evidence to show that the citizens of Paraterra gains low paid and the environment has been polluted so severely.（错误反驳，一定要居民收入低，环境差才要提高国民收入，改善环境？来句俗的，我国人民或者美利坚人民为了追求更高品质的生活，就没有此方面的需要了？时刻提醒自己：你是一个客观的评论者，不要将自己的臆断加到文章中去。私以为这里重点应该讨论即便你采取了这方面的措施，由于很多特殊的原因，也不能改善提高环境和国民收入。） Maybe the income of the population of Paraterra is higher and the environment is better than Bellegea's, in that case, the Paraterra is not necessity to learn from Bellegea.

As it stands, the conclusion reached in this argument is invalid and misleading. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide evidence concerning the detailed situation of Paraterra and Bellegea, such as the climate, geographical features, economic base, etc. With these premises we can ensure the conclusion is well-reasoned and persuasive.

文章语言方面问题不大（-- 也可能是我语言水平比较低..),逻辑错误的筛选有待提高，论证部分推荐多方面思考反驳不要局限在错误本身，全文结构规矩，无大碍，整体来说这是一篇中规中举的文章，恩，加油~

meredithpc0426UID: 2754868

color]改197楼

3. It is more important allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long----term research that might help future generation.

The twenty-first century, intrigues the rapid change and development in different fields, leads to increasing various immediate, existing social problems which need our attention to handle. As a member of the global village, it is essential and beneficial for people to allocate money for dealing with immediate social problems, only in this way can our offspring will（去掉） survive the society successfully.
To begin with, the immediate and existing problems occur gradually, such as violence, pollution as well as unsound educational systems. And educational systems definitely will become one of the most significant issues in the world, since children’s physical and mental health hinges on different environment to live and grow. For instance, Tom, an American-born-Chinese, lives in New York, who has ability to think independently, for he can arrange various extra-curriculum activities by himself during summer session. However, if he lives in China, probably feels obliged to follow arrangements of parents about participating activities, such as participating remedial classes, summer camps. Others probably would ask that:” what is the difference between Chinese and American students? If both of them encounter the same problem during working at the factory, Chinese students will get help and learn from others, but American students will make their best efforts to solve this problem by learning the specific knowledge form textbooks and references, so, I surely believe that American students have more competence to address problems and communicate with others under the severe environment than Chinese students on account of the educational ways they received, free environment to live, grow and study. Thus, the government should be encouraged to hold numerous activities for students to attend, such as field survival camp, internship programs, Chinese students will posses much opportunities to cultivate their abilities.（既然是问题 要突出其危害性 不解决会带来什么 这样才能体现出紧迫性啊）
Additionally, spending money to deal with global pace issue is also worthwhile, because it(指代不清) will exert catastrophic effect on countries. To illustrate it, Bali Laguna, Indonesia was hitted by terror in 2001, after Bali bombing, many visitors do not want to go there for entertaining and local residents go way from their home. The second day of the incident, Indonesia’s stock-market composite index fall 10%, which causes the Indonesia government change policies and steps of developing its economies.This example illustrates that any other unstable factors of a country cannot make it to be prosperous, for the economic and social development, like a machine, needs to operate in the healthy circumstance, otherwise, which cannot fully growth. （例子应该是支持你这个论点的，和pace有什么关系？？而且，少了分析， 说下印尼政府没有及时注意这个问题，导致长期回复不了之类的后果）Additionally, provided that the government would like to spend money dealing with problems of pace, not only can our future generation healthy survive in the world, but the countries’ development will be greater than others as well. In short, so-called “ pace issues” that needs to be aroused by countries to address.（对你的pace issue不是很明白？若是还是着手解决现在的问题 那和前一段教育的是并列吗？如果这样，教育的那段就显得有点拖泥带水了。）
Admittedly, long-term research will also beneficial for our future generation to some degrees in many aspects. If scientists invented a specific medicine to cure AIDS, those people who suffer from this disease would be happy, in that the increasing number of people has been suffered from it in the world for a long time. However, research to find a key for curing AIDS is a long process to go, which not only needs substantial investment but scientists’ hard-working spirit and strong research capabilities.（哈哈 这个好新鲜…那投资现在的问题） Granted that, the government spends a great number of money to research up-to-date academic project, the efficiency and fruition is exceedingly inefficient. Therefore, from aspect of efficiency to analyze, dealing immediate problems will posses the best fruitness（better fruition）.(个人觉得这段太武断了 如果完全要说未来项目的投资带来的利益少 好像有点说不过去，建议作者综合下，只说他们有可能在短其解决不了问题，紧迫性没前者强，毕竟钱有限啊)
In sum, although spending money for long-research will have many merits, yet it cannot compete with advantages of dealing with immediate problems if efficiency and fruitiness is taken into consideration. My view is that only when a country completely deals with immediate problems, do our future generations grow into successfully in a harmonious environment.

meredithpc0426UID: 2754868

Issue 46: Government should focus more on solving immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future.

"Future" has been one of the hottest and thought-provoking topics everywhere since the late of the 20th century. People today seems to be too cult in picturing a blueprint for future while relegating more urgent problems to the second place. From world-class forum to classrooms, from elite magazines to our daily newspapers, issues as global warming, cultural recession, and problems caused by globalization and mass-destructive weapons never fail to draw attention whenever they have relevance to the "future" issue.

Yet when experts, policy makers and those who give "future" the most priority try to make everyone of us understand the importance of our responsibility, either to future generation or to other living creatures on earth, is there anyone who give a damn thing on those who are on the blink of starvation and disease, who spend 24-hours of every day to worry about whether wars and riots happened in their country will take their lives away, who can not afford to buy their children a book, who live in desperate...

I am not a pessimist who believe in the doom day of earth, and I admit that it is out of condemn to consider the consequence of what we do today and its serious impact on future, but the thing is, while we are keen to all these predication and prevention things, should the government, the servant of the public, at least pay as much as attention to those imminent and sometimes cruel reality at this moment? And figure out a better way, instead of sacrificing contemporary interests, especially those who come from interior classes, who have no one to speak for them.

History teaches us that no one, neither Peter the Great nor Stalin, can go by shortcuts to the ideal world they hope to build and rule, without solving the existing problems. It is because only under a peaceful and harmony environment can we construct future, we can not build a Babylonian garden hang in the air. Recently broke-up scandals of Akio Toyoda, president of Toyota, who is on his way to lead the motor industry to a new road of mass productivity and high efficiency, relying on replacing general components with ones made in Japan factories, is a case in the point. Without figuring out how to solve the contradiction between high quality and high productivity, I bet not only he can not continue his initiative trying, but lose the basement where he stands.

True as it is, should governments totally set aside issues, concerning the development of humans, such as environmental one? Of course not, for we’ve already sacrificed too much for the survival of human kind. And it is our duty to draw the line between basic human needs and our desires and unsatiable voraciousness. There should not be a sudden "halt" on all those industries millions of people living their life on, yet government is responsible to get the idea across that for a reasonable and promising society, we get to overcome selfishness and encourage providence, by always having “future” in mind, and do as much as we can to preserve an untainted landscape, for our offsprings.

There is hardly a constant answer for this question, and it is certainly not an easy multiple choice in our math exam. To always have future in mind, yet try not to accomplish it at the huge expense of contemporaries may be the best way to cope with this complex contradiction.

mianyixueUID: 2556529

楼上我来拍！！

Issue 46: Government should focus more on solving immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future.

"Future" has been one of the hottest and thought-provoking topics everywhere since the late of the 20th century. People today seems to be too cult in picturing a blueprint for future while relegating more urgent problems to the second place. From world-class forum to classrooms, from elite magazines to our daily newspapers, issues as global warming, cultural recession, and problems caused by globalization and mass-destructive weapons never fail to draw attention whenever they have relevance to the "future" issue.
第一段写的很到位，句型很有特点。
Yet when experts, policy makers and those who give "future" the most priority try to make everyone of us understand the importance of our responsibility, either to future generation or to other living creatures on earth, is there anyone who give a damn thing on those who are on the blink of starvation and disease, who spend 24-hours of every day to worry about whether wars and riots happened in their country will take their lives away, who can not afford to buy their children a book, who live in desperate...
？？还以为是分段陈述，原来是层层递进！
I am not a pessimist who believe in the doom day of earth, and I admit that it is out of condemn to consider the consequence of what we do today and its serious impact on future, but the thing is, while we are keen to all these predication and prevention things, should the government, the servant of the public, at least pay as much as attention to those imminent and sometimes cruel reality at this moment? And figure out a better way, instead of sacrificing contemporary interests, especially those who come from interior classes, who have no one to speak for them.
这种写作结构很适合汉语作文，但英语中总分式结构比较受用，而且评卷老外容易误解你的文章意图。
History teaches us that no one, neither Peter the Great nor Stalin, can go by shortcuts to the ideal world they hope to build and rule, without solving the existing problems. It is because only under a peaceful and harmony environment can we construct future, we can not build a Babylonian garden hang in the air. Recently broke-up scandals of Akio Toyoda, president of Toyota, who is on his way to lead the motor industry to a new road of mass productivity and high efficiency, relying on replacing general components with ones made in Japan factories, is a case in the point. Without figuring out how to solve the contradiction between high quality and high productivity, I bet not only he can not continue his initiative trying, but lose the basement where he stands.

True as it is, should governments totally set aside issues, concerning the development of humans, such as environmental one? Of course not, for we’ve already sacrificed too much for the survival of human kind. And it is our duty to draw the line between basic human needs and our desires and unsatiable voraciousness. There should not be a sudden "halt" on all those industries millions of people living their life on, yet government is responsible to get the idea across that for a reasonable and promising society, we get to overcome selfishness and encourage providence, by always having “future” in mind, and do as much as we can to preserve an untainted landscape, for our offsprings.
这段感觉有点偏，不知道你想说什么，题目是做出一个选择， 你这是想偏向哪一方呀，主旨不够明确。

There is hardly a constant answer for this question, and it is certainly not an easy multiple choice in our math exam. To always have future in mind, yet try not to accomplish it at the huge expense of contemporaries may be the best way to cope with this complex contradiction.
文字表达的很好，句型用的都很到位，很漂亮。 但是你的行文结构建议修改，容易让人误会你的文章主旨，还有就是你后面的论据不足，有些偏题。要注意下。

mianyixueUID: 2556529

TOPIC: ISSUE131 - "The arts (painting, music, literature, etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society."

syllabus
A In deed, the arts reflect impulses and the underlying ideas of a certain time.1.the source of arts is life.2.what artists think is limited in a certain time of the whole history
B In addition,different forms of arts have their own characters.
C However, we can find the hidden ideas and impulses of a society in dfferent ways, such as achitecture and politics.

The speaker contents that the hidden ideas and impulses of a certain society would be reflected by the arts. To some extent, the arts play a vital role in the whole society, which we shouldn't ignore. However, in other cases, I believe some other forms reveal the ideas and impulses of a society.

In deed, the arts reflect impulses and the underlying ideas of a certain time in a society. In my observation, there are two reasons which cause the phenomenon. In the first place, the derivation of the arts is from life. Some arts reveal the real life and others reflect something beyond the realism. But any form of arts is based on our life, such the nature, city and emotions of people and even the thinking of cosmos. For instance, Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" is famous around the world, which is very normal in our life. In the second place, what artists think is limited in a certain time of the whole history. Artists are human beings, whose thoughts can't beyond the surroundings around us. Even though some artists are so forward that other people in a certain time of the history can't understand their arts, yet all the artists' thoughts can't be apart away from the time where they live because they live there. So, it's reasonable to believe that the artists' masterpieces reflect upon the ideas and impulses of a society.

In addition, different forms of arts have their own characters. In painting, more artists tend to describe what they think and feel. For instance, in China Banqiao Zheng always drew bamboo as his picture, because he believed bamboo had an upright character which was just similar with his thoughts. In music, artists are willing to create more happiness for their fans. Illustrate with an example, the Beatles was famous all over the world in last century and still influence people now, who composed so many songs such as come together and all my life, that people all the world can receive satisfaction and happiness from their beautiful music. In literature, artists put more enthusiasm on creating different people and lives, which show us fictitious worlds and give us a cue of thinking about the realistic society and life. From "Jane Eyre", we can realize people's thoughts about love in the time when Jane lived. All the arts above reveal the ideas and impulses of a society from different aspects of society.

However, not only do the arts show people the underlying ideas and impulses, other form such as architecture but also tells us something about the society. the Great Wall in China has been built for a long time, which tell us the diplomatic politics and the people's living situation in the certain history. The Pyramids in ancient Egypt describe the culture level and wisdom of ancient people. From the buildings, we can know what they believe, and look forward.

In sum, the arts are great and contain so much information about the impulses and ideas of a society, while other form such as architecture also show the similar information for us.

bzr2915UID: 2612029

TOPIC: ISSUE131 - "The arts (painting, music, literature, etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society." syllabus A In deed, the arts reflect impulses and the underlying ideas of a certain time.1.the source of arts is life.2.what artists think is limited in a certain time of the whole history B In addition,different forms of arts have their own characters. C However, we can find the hidden ideas and impulses of a society in dfferent ways, such as achitecture and politics. The speaker contents that the hidden ideas and impulses of a certain society would be reflected by the arts. To some extent, the arts play a vital role(泛泛了，vital role 和 反映社会隐含观念什么的没有必然联系） in the whole society, which we shouldn't ignore. However(看不出有转折关系，你可以说艺术什么的纵然反应了社会的XX，但是XX,因为前面的VITAL ROLE过于笼统这里的转折已经被削弱的近乎于0了）, in other cases, I believe some other forms（过于宽泛，这里的forms是指哪个方面的？还是艺术？） reveal the ideas and impulses of a society. （开头观点的引出不鲜明） In deed, the arts reflect impulses and the underlying ideas of a certain time in a society. In my observation, there are two reasons which cause the phenomenon. In the first place, the derivation of the arts is from life. Some arts reveal the real life and others reflect something beyond the realism. But （转折的很唐突，这里也看不出来有转折）any form of arts is based on our life, such the nature, city and emotions of people and even the thinking of cosmos. （和主题没关系，社会隐含IDEA注意隐含这个字眼儿）For instance, Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" is famous around the world, which is very normal in our life. In the second place, what artists think is limited in a certain time of the whole history. Artists are human beings, whose thoughts can't beyond the surroundings around us. Even though some artists are so forward that other people in a certain time of the history can't understand their arts, yet all the artists' thoughts can't be apart away from the time where they live because they live there. So, it's reasonable to believe that the artists' masterpieces reflect upon the ideas and impulses of a society（人家原题说的是hidden one 再审题）. In addition, different forms of arts have their own characters.（用作TS不合适） In painting, more artists tend to describe what they think and feel. For instance, in China Banqiao Zheng always drew bamboo as his picture, because he believed bamboo had an upright character which was just similar with his thoughts. In music, artists are willing to create more happiness for their fans. Illustrate with an example, the Beatles was famous all over the world in last century and still influence people now, who composed so many songs such as come together and all my life, that people all the world can receive satisfaction and happiness from their beautiful music. In literature, artists put more enthusiasm on creating different people and lives, which show us fictitious worlds and give us a cue of thinking about the realistic society and life. From "Jane Eyre", we can realize people's thoughts about love in the time when Jane lived. All the arts above reveal the ideas and impulses of a society from different aspects of society. However, not only do the arts show people the underlying ideas and impulses, other form such as architecture but also tells us something about the society. the Great Wall in China has been built for a long time, which tell us the diplomatic politics and the people's living situation in the certain history. The Pyramids in ancient Egypt describe the culture level and wisdom of ancient people. From the buildings, we can know what they believe, and look forward. In sum, the arts are great and contain so much information about the impulses and ideas of a society, while other form such as architecture also show the similar information for us. 中心要突出 把握关键字眼。

fairyand77UID: 2489516

不知道我考雅思准备的作文能不能发上来请大家帮忙改呢？

sarawu1989UID: 2717145

TOPIC: ISSUE147 - "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
WORDS: 541          TIME: 00:43:00          DATE: 2010/3/27 16:53:06

With the explosive development of science and technology, our lives are changing every day. When it comes to tradition and modernization, there are a host of different opinions held by different individuals. Are tradition and modernization so incompatible that one has to choose between them? Admittedly, sometimes they are contradictory. However, in most situations, they combine pretty well and no choice has to be made between them.

First and foremost, modernization indeed seems to escape from tradition sometimes. The statement brings immediately to mind the example of spongiform encephalopathy. Hundreds of years ago, sharing the brain after a person died for food used to be traditional custom in some villages. Then more people died without obvious symptoms. The more people died, the more brains living people ate; the more brains people ate, the more people died. As a result, these villages tended to extinct, until the factor killing people was found later by a scientist. It was the spongiform encephalopathic virus, living in dead people's brains, which killed so many people. However, in modern times, there exists no such custom; consequently, few people get this disease. This is to say, something stupid has been removed from our lives, for a better life.

While for most occasions, tradition and modernization are good friends. For instance, a student has the right to choose to take traditional classes or accept the distant education. And both have their own advantages, in order to fulfill different students. Lending even more credence on the statement is book and e-book. E-book makes it come true that we can read on a vacation without a heavy luggage. Besides, it also protects many trees due to decline of the print books. However, we still need regular books, on which we can write freely. Other examples to support this opinion are car and bike, library and computer, and so on. In short, tradition and modernization are not necessarily incompatible, both of which could contribute to a harmonious society.

In our daily life, we benefit from the combination of tradition and modernization, which supplies us perfect objects to fulfill our goals. Such as combination of letter and email, and cooperation of traditional medicine and western medicine. However, sometimes we also have to make a choice between them due to the incompatible situations. For example, the statue of female was not equal to male in the past. This should be removed, because women have the right to control their lives and earn the respects of society. In addition, the excessive open and confusing relationship between girls and boys should be removed in modern life. More and more university students surprise parents. They cohabitate, hang out just for fun and make trouble without responsibility. Due to the huge burden to build the future society, I cannot imagine the destiny of our society unless they change their behavior and learn to be responsible.

In sum, tradition does not mean fool and modernization does not mean smart either. In most occasions, the two can combine pretty well and bring about a better society. However we must find out the shortage lying in these two cultures, and change it sparing no effort, no matter which is wrong. Only in this way, can our culture become better and better.

powerjohnUID: 2778361

Issue 047 society does not place enough emphasis in the intellect-that is, on reasoning and other cognitive skills.

Nowadays, a debating over whether enough attention has been focused on intellect is increasing. Supporters argue that reasoning and other cognitive skills are neglected in daily life. While, the opponents hold the view that other abilities rather than intellectual factors should be reinforced. As my concern, I will give the evidence favoring the latter one and refuting the former one.

Intellect, especially IQ used more often, is over-emphasized in our society. Just think how we spent our first 30 years after birth--entrance exams to primary school, high school, college and numerous mid-and-final exams after entrance. What are these exams testing? Right! It's your IQ. It is even not over after graduation from college. Before taking a position in company, some tests lies in front of you; if you fail them--sorry, the company will turn you down. You may argue that IQ is not everything to complain your feeling of unfair. However, it is the rule! Another reason why intellect is thought to be more important than other factors such as leadership, virtues, passion and so on lie in that people with more knowledge are generally more productive and respected by others. Professors, engineers and financial experts, seldom of which do not have a PhD degree, earn very high salary and enjoy a high social status.

But, is intellect really so important as we thought? Or does IQ deserve obtaining so much worship? Definitely no! We know many people who do not own a degree of master or PhD but are very successful. Ruiming Zhang, CEO of Hair Corporation of China, who did not even graduate from primary school, has lead the firm into top 500 around the world. We can numerate lots of people like Mr. Zhang. Why these people were not found before they succeeded? Maybe one of the most important reasons is that intellect is easier to be observed than other talents (EQ as a general representative) which need some specific condition to show up. Leadership needs a special condition to shine. Cao Cao, one of the most famous figures in Chinese history, was thought to be at most a high level officer in peaceful time. But he made him an empire because he could explore all his gifts in wars.

Not only can EQ help us to succeed, it also plays a very important role in our daily life. When tackling problems in real world, as IQ calculates how many ways we can solve them, while, EQ decides which way should be adopted. IQ helps us to do things in a correct way, but EQ tells us what is correct to do. People lack of EQ may be very harmful to both himself and the society. The rising criminal rate in college, killing classmates and teachers with guns in particular, demonstrates that how dangerous people with high IQ but low EQ can be.

To sum up, intellect and other virtues as EQ are both important in terms of one's overall development. Without intellect, we can not make our survivor in modern society. Without EQ, the world will sink in chaos. As the ads of Suisse Credit propagandize (and I paraphrase): People are made of both rationality and emotions, talent and tenacity, logic and passions. We should strive to develop not only reasoning and other cognitive skills, but also the ability to lead, the heart to listen, the courage to stand with principles and the most important--a colorful inside world which could bridge the outside with virtues of human being.

fchtiancaiUID: 2696347

题目：ARGUMENT 235 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the general manager of KNOW radio station.

"Several factors indicate that radio station KNOW should shift its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. Consider, for example, the number of older people in our listening area has increased dramatically, while the total number of our listeners has recently declined. Also, music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music. Finally, continuous news stations in neighboring cities have been very successful, and a survey taken just before the recent election shows that local citizens are interested in becoming better informed about politics."


In the argument ,the authoe presents that radio station KNOW should shift its paogramming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format.To support the conclusion,the author make a comparsion with the neighboring cities,which have been very successful,and a survey taken just before the recent election shows that local citzens are interested in becoming better informed about politics.At the first glance,the conclusion seems to be somewhat logical and convincing ,but after a further detailed consideration,I cannot agree with the argument in the following reasons.

The first reason I cannot agree with the argument is that the author did't assert other information about the radio station.The fact that the number of our listeners has recently declined and the number of older people in our listening area has increased dramatically,cannot assert that we must shift our program.
At the same time ,music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music.The arguer fails to establish the causal relationship between this and shifting its program.The argument is unacceptable unless there is compeling evidence to support the connection between these two events.

In addition,even assuming that the decreased sales due to the shifting its program,the author fails to consider possbile differences between our area and the neiguboring cities that might help to bring different result for our area.Only if the arguer can provide more substantiated information can this argument be fully accept.

Last but not the least,the memo provides no evidence that the number of respondents is statistically significant or that the repondents were representative of all in general.Lacking information abount the randomness and size of the survey's sample,the author cannot make a convincing argument based on that survey.All these factors should be taken into account before come to the final conclusion ,nevertheless,the author neglect nearly all of them.

To sum up,the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the argument does not lend powerfull support to what the author maintains.To make the memo more convincing,the author should provide more detailed information about the area and radio station.

bzr2915UID: 2612029

楼上两位 你们都不改楼上的？ 看好规则再发帖 ~

BackerShuUID: 2658043

占，改205楼~~
建议206，207互改吧~
楼主不在，大家保持队形~~


With the explosive development of science and technology, our lives are changing every day. When it comes to tradition and modernization, there are a host of different opinions held by different individuals. Are tradition and modernization so incompatible that one has to choose between them? Admittedly, sometimes they are contradictory. However, in most situations, they combine pretty well and no choice has to be made between them.

First and foremost, modernization indeed seems to escape from tradition sometimes. The statement brings immediately to mind the example of spongiform encephalopathy. Hundreds of years ago, sharing the brain after a person died for food used to be traditional custom in some villages. Then more people died without obvious symptoms. The more people died, the more brains living people ate; the more brains people ate, the more people died. As a result, these villages tended to extinct, until the factor killing people was found later by a scientist. It was the spongiform encephalopathic virus, living in dead people's brains, which killed so many people. However, in modern times, there exists no such custom; consequently, few people get this disease. This is to say, something stupid has been removed from our lives, for a better life.
有些stupid的传统跟现代的科学矛盾，应该消除，对应TS前半部分，很清晰。例子的中的名词不认识，汗~~


While for most occasions, tradition and modernization are good friends. For instance, a student has the right to choose to take traditional classes or accept the distant education. And both have their own advantages, in order to fulfill different students. Lending even more credence on the statement is book and e-book. E-book makes it come true that we can read on a vacation without a heavy luggage. Besides, it also protects many trees due to decline of the print books. However, we still need regular books, on which we can write freely. Other examples to support this opinion are car and bike, library and computer, and so on. In short, tradition and modernization are not necessarily incompatible, both of which could contribute to a harmonious society.



In our daily life, we benefit from the combination of tradition and modernization, which supplies us perfect objects to fulfill our goals. Such as combination of letter and email, and cooperation of traditional medicine and western medicine（这句没主语，应该前面是 , 号吧）. 此处观点刚提出来，没有展开，不太合适。 However, sometimes we also have to make a choice between them due to the incompatible situations. For example, the statue of female was not equal to male in the past. This should be removed, because women have the right to control their lives and earn the respects of society. In addition, the excessive open and confusing relationship between girls and boys should be removed in modern life. More and more university students surprise parents. They cohabitate, hang out just for fun and make trouble without responsibility. Due to the huge burden to build the future society, I cannot imagine the destiny of our society unless they change their behavior and learn to be responsible. 转折以后，主要讲make choice的问题，这样一来感觉整篇文章与TS有些偏离



In sum, tradition does not mean fool and modernization does not mean smart either. In most occasions, the two can combine pretty well and bring about a better society. However we must find out the shortage lying【laying】 in these two cultures【culture modes似乎好一些，个人意见】, and change it sparing no effort, no matter which is wrong. Only in this way, can our culture become better and better.

BackerShuUID: 2658043

TOPIC: ARGUMENT97 - The following appeared in a memo from the manager of television station KICK.

"A nationwide survey reveals that a sizeable majority of men would like to see additional sports programs on television. After television station WACK increased its sports broadcasts, its share of the television audience in its viewing area almost doubled. To gain a larger audience share in our area, and thus increase company profits, KICK should also revise its broadcast schedule to include more sports coverage."

The argument is far from cogent. Basing on a survey of the audience, the increasing share of the television in WACK, supposing the successful experience could also be implemented in KICK, the advice to add more sports coverage to the broadcast schedule sounds reasonable on its surface. However, failing to see the differences between KICK and WACK, as well as some other logical flaws, weaken the argument.

To begin with, the nationwide survey can not predict the trends of television share in local of KICK. First, the nationwide results may different from the trends in KICK. It is entirely possible that the residents’ attention to the additional sports programs in KICK declines, while people in other cities show great appetites, thus the nationwide results turn out to be sizeable majority. Second, the survey only concerns about the men’s attitude to the additional programs. In fact, the amount of other groups such as women, children who also watch television could be as large, if not more, as of men. Without taking the women’s attitude into consideration, the survey results may be unwarranted and meaningless.


Furthermore, the arguer falsely assumes that the additional sports lead the television share to uplift in WACK. There is no evidence to show the definite cause and effect relationship between the increasing share and the additional sports programs. Generally speaking, television shares vary with the content that the provided by the TV stations, but not the amount of the content. Since the arguer has not mentioned the time span of statistical results of the television share in WACK, it is entirely possible that there is a famous sports meeting broadcasted by the television at certain period. People may only see the sports meeting and seldom take a glance at the additional sports. It is also possible that the station broadcast some interesting comics, which lead to the increase of the television share. Without ruling out these possibilities, the influence of the additional sports to the increasing share can not be sound.

Even if the survey result is reliable and the additional sports do increase the television share in WACK, extending this regulation hastily to KICK is still open to question.
The arguer assumes that the television share will also grow in KICK basing on the experience of WACK. However the existed differences in television share, the audience structure and their appetites also influence the trend of television share. First, what is the television share of WACK now? If it is high enough, or even higher than that of KICK, rescheduling may not be a wise measurement, because the high television share may decline due to changes. Second, the structure and the appetites of the viewers are worth mentioning. If the majority audience of KICK is women, or children, they may tend to enjoy the programs like music, talk shows, and teleplays, other than sports programs. Adding sports programs, the television may become less attractive to them and lead to share declination. The argument neglects all these factors in making its conclusion.

Given the television share enlarges because of the rescheduling strategy, that the profits of the station will boost is still open to doubt. The arguer, at least, fails to take the following two factors that influence the profits. On one hand, adding more sports coverage needs extra resource including time, energy and money which also increases the investment of the station. In the argument, there is no evidence shows that the station can get profit from this additional investment. On the other hand, usually, a station earns most, if not all, of its profits through the advertisements. After programs rescheduling, the additional sports programs may take up the time for advertisements, or the customers may tend to choose the station with less sports programs to broadcast their advertisements. In this situation, the profits of the station may probably decrease. Without ruling out these possibilities, the conclusion of earning more profits is also groundless.

After carefully analyzing the evidence as well as the reasoning, it is clearly that the conclusion can not be safely reached. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should make sure whether the increasing of the television share is due to the additional sports programs of WACK, propose a specific survey to show the real needs of the audience of KICK, and take both the similarities and differences between two stations into account. Also, evidences to justify that profits of the station will increase due to larger television share should be given.

第一次写Argument，没限时，感觉写得太长了，楼下狠批吧~~
从各个角度，批驳点的取舍，段落的展开，总之越猛烈越好，谢谢~~