草根修改铺(楼主不在）

suchana03UID: 2764281

TOPIC: ISSUE159 - "The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds."

    Since the dawn of computer technology, machines have been experiencing rapid advancement, leading many to wonder whether they will be superior to human minds in the near future. While I agree that machines are tools of human minds, machines can still be superior to human minds in such aspects as calculation, though not in others including……, as discussed below.
Admittedly and indisputably, the reason for creating machines is to help us with our work. Whether it was in the First Industrial Revolution when the steam machine was invented aimed at improving industrial production, or the Information Revolution characterized by the invention of computer designed to facilitate military contact in the first place, machines were created by humans as a tool to save our time and advance social development. They have been put into factory assembly line to increase efficiency, installed in spaceships to perform difficult experiments and even applied in accidents to undertake arduous tasks. And machines have even been trained to accompany the old, play with the young and even do the housework for the family, as is the case of robots. And scientists have even been working on super microchips that can be implanted into machines to increase their intelligence dramatically, as is the case of Artifical Intelligence. All in all, machines have been an inalienable tool for human society.
Indeed, there is no denying the fact that machines are superior to ourselves in several aspects, especially considering the speed of calculation involved. Whether it was the first computer capable of doing thousands of times of calculation per second or today’s mini laptop able to calculate millions or even trillions of times during the same time, no human mind is able to match this speed. The way computers do their calculations according to established arithmetic programs is far quicker than the way our neuro units are linked up together and activated to start logical reasoning. With a simple input of numbers and a click of mouse, the answer appears immediately, which is undoubtedly far superior to whatever arithmetic tactics we use. That is why we can confidently leave our calculation work to those machines with microchips inside and engage ourselves in more complex design process.
Nevertheless, it does not amout to the conclusion that our fears of being replaced by advanced machines in the near future are justiable, which inevitably overlooks fndamental differences between human mind and machines. Though it is understandable that after many fearful scens depicted in science fiction movies, many ask the question: what if machines would be so superior to us in all aspects that the dominating role humans play and the suborbinate role machines take today are to be reversed in the future? However, by posing such a question, we overlook the fact that human minds are fundamentally different from machines in that machines are programmed while human minds are dynamic. That is to say, the way machines work are based on the orders given by the implanted programs that are created by human minds in the first place. Unlike human minds that are capable to learn from experience, adapt to new environment and think creatively, machines can only perform what are implanted in themselves. Unless told in advance by programmers, a machine has no idea what to perform, just like a robot trained to save people underwater has no idea what action to take if a fire breaks out, or a machine designed to detect strange smiles can sense no anomaly if strange lights flash by. As a result, unless give the same neuro network as that in our human mind, machines can never think actively. Though they can be trained to sense the feeling of sorrow according to the subtle change of muscles on human faces, they can by no means know what to do to console us. Therefore, the fact that human mind is a dynamic entity can not be surpassed by any program.
In sum, machines are tools created by ourselves, and are definitely faster in calculation in face of arithmetic work. Yet, without a fair understanding of the uniqueness of the dynamic mind humans have, we are in danger of putting us in futile fear of being replaced by those order-based machines.

中心点UID: 2746022

改121楼：
TOPIC: ISSUE159 - "The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds."

Since the dawn of computer technology, machines have been experiencing rapid advancement, leading many to wonder whether they will be superior to human minds in the near future(near有点多余，题目只用了will，不一定是near 的future). While I agree that machines are tools of human minds, machines can still be superior to human minds in such aspects as calculation, though not in others including……(??), as discussed below.

Admittedly and indisputably, the reason for creating machines is to help us with our work. (TS主题句后面最好需要适当的论证进行过渡，然后举例子，否则感觉有点脱节)Whether it was in the First Industrial Revolution when the steam machine was invented aimed at improving industrial production, or the Information Revolution characterized by the invention of computer designed to facilitate military contact in the first place, machines were created by humans as a tool to save our time and advance social development. They have been put into factory assembly line to increase efficiency, installed in spaceships to perform difficult experiments and even applied in accidents to undertake arduous tasks. And machines have even been trained to accompany the old, play with the young and even do the housework for the family, as is the case of robots. And scientists have even been working on super microchips that can be implanted into machines to increase their intelligence dramatically, as is the case of Artifical (Artificial) Intelligence. All in all, machines have been an inalienable tool for human society.(这段的结构有待进一步改进，例子比较多，但是比较混乱)
Indeed, there is no denying the fact that machines are superior to ourselves in several aspects, especially considering the speed of calculation involved. (首句建议用Besides。。。,似乎更合适, 和上文是并列关系)Whether it was the first computer capable of doing thousands of times of calculation per second or today’s mini laptop able to calculate millions or even trillions of times during the same time, no human mind is able to match this speed. The way computers do their calculations according to established arithmetic programs is far quicker than the way our neuro units are linked up together and activated to start logical reasoning. With a simple input of numbers and a click of mouse, the answer appears immediately, which is undoubtedly far superior to whatever arithmetic tactics we use. That is why we can confidently leave our calculation work to those machines with microchips inside and engage ourselves in more complex design process.

Nevertheless, it does not amout(amount) to the conclusion that our fears of being replaced by advanced machines in the near future are justiable(justifiable), which inevitably overlooks fundamental differences between human mind and machines. (观点称述很清楚) Though it is understandable that after many fearful scenes depicted in science fiction movies, many ask the question: what if machines would be so superior to us in all aspects that the dominating role humans play and the suborbinate(subordinate) role machines take today are to be reversed in the future? However, by posing such a question, we overlook the fact that human minds are fundamentally different from machines in that machines are programmed while human minds are dynamic. That is to say, the way machines work are based on the orders given by the implanted programs that are created by human minds in the first place. Unlike human minds that are capable to learn from experience, adapt to new environment and think creatively, machines can only perform what are implanted in themselves. Unless told in advance by programmers, a machine has no idea what to perform, just like a robot trained to save people underwater has no idea what action to take if a fire breaks out, or a machine designed to detect strange smiles can sense no anomaly if strange lights flash by. As a result, unless give the same neuro network as that in our human mind, machines can never think actively. Though they can be trained to sense the feeling of sorrow according to the subtle change of muscles on human faces, they can by no means know what to do to console us. Therefore, the fact that human mind is a dynamic entity can not be surpassed by any program.(同样的感觉，全是道理论证，而且句子之间的连接不太好，感觉比较混乱。。)

In sum, machines are tools created by ourselves, and are definitely faster in calculation in face of arithmetic work. Yet, without a fair understanding of the uniqueness of the dynamic mind humans have, we are in danger of putting us in futile fear of being replaced by those order-based machines.

个人水平也有限，改的不好请见谅~~~
整体感觉文章论点清晰、完善，但是在论证段的论述中，结构比较混乱，调整一下逻辑顺序也许会更好点。


由于我级别不够，一小时只能发3个帖子，所以就把我的文章贴在下面啦~~  带来不便请见谅~~~

Issue 103"The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives." (1

研究历史的价值只体现在这种研究和我们的日常生活相关时。
提纲：
1.       1.同意。和我们日常衣食住行相关的历史研究可以让我们了解我们现在生活的发展之路，教会我们要珍惜生活，并启迪我们如何去让生活过得更好。
2.       2.反对。对和我们日常衣食住行无关的历史研究，也有意义，了解历史有利于培养人民的爱国情感。
3.       3.对历史的研究还可以汲取治国安邦的经验教训。

Is the study of history worthy only in so far as the respects that are related to our daily lives? Partly i am in agreement of this opinion. However, to my point of view, the study which is irrelevant to daily lives is of great significance to human race as well. When the research of history been conducted, equal emphasis is supposed to be put on both of the two field.


I am in favor of the assertion that the history study that has connections with the daily life will definitely bring advantages to people. Considering that the history study that is relevant to our daily lives can help people learn the development process of living style, from the old backward original condition to the good modern life, it can motivate people to search for inspiration to make a better life, such as how to produce more healthy food with less damage to the environment and how to clean the polluted water to be potable. It would be no exaggeration to say that no one in the world will forget the hybrid rice, which can produce several times rice more than the former. The inspiration of this invention stems from the inventor, a great Chinese scientist, Longping Yuan, facing the harsh reality that millions of people were suffering from hungry due to lacking food. This person overcame a series of obstacles and ultimately succeeded in creating hybrid rice, which saved millions of people from starvation. Such history researches are of remarkable significance in that the descendants can learn diligence, courage and wisdom from the history people who have made tremendous benefits to our daily lives and then make it possible creating better lives for human beings.

However, the history study which is in relation to our daily lives is as crucial as the relevant one. The research of the important events in the history will help cultivate the people’s patriotic passion which is both a stimulation for people to make concerted efforts and a great power of pushing a country forward. There is no doubt that the Chinese people will never forget Mao Zedong, a prominent brave person who guided the masses to fight for their new lives against the invasion and oppression of Japan. After eight years’ rough fight, they Chinese won and changed the fate of China from the oppressed weaker to the host of themselves. As a result, this eminent leader is still being recalled by millions of Chinese and makes them feel proud of being a Chinese. Likely, there will be no immovable patriotic feeling and national confidence without understanding of the country’s history . Consequently, even though some investigations of the history are irrelevant of our daily lives, they are indispensible and meaningful to develop patriotic passion.


What’s more, precious experiences of running a country can be obtained by the study of history which is also not relevant of daily life. People can absorb lessons from the mistakes so as to avoid the repeated error and learn the successful experiences to guide us forward success. The rule of managing state affairs according to law which is being adopted by many countries throughout the world is the result of analyzing the history. No matter in the ancient Greece or China, facing with the drawbacks of ruling by propriety or man, the statement of regulating the country according to law is a new reform. Which has been proved by the practice of history to be correct. As a result, nowadays, there are many nations which prefer to this rule to manage the country and get excellent effect.


To sum up, history is a treasure-house with inexhaustible precious wealth to descendents. As the saying goes ”history is a mirror to today”. The study aspects of history both about the relevant and irrelevant are significant. What’s we need to do is unearthing the value historical treasure to serve today.

zhouhickUID: 2768760

Issue 103"The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives." (1

研究历史的价值只体现在这种研究和我们的日常生活相关时。
提纲：
1.       1.同意。和我们日常衣食住行相关的历史研究可以让我们了解我们现在生活的发展之路，教会我们要珍惜生活，并启迪我们如何去让生活过得更好。
2.       2.反对。对和我们日常衣食住行无关的历史研究，也有意义，了解历史有利于培养人民的爱国情感。
3.       3.对历史的研究还可以汲取治国安邦的经验教训。

Is the study of history worthy only in so far as the respects that are related to our daily lives? Partly i am in agreement of this opinion. However, to my point of view, the study which is irrelevant to daily lives is of great significance to human race as well. When the research of history been conducted, equal emphasis is supposed to be put on both of the two field.


I am in favor of the assertion that the history study that has connections with the daily life will definitely bring advantages to people. Considering that the history study that is relevant to our daily lives can help people learn the development process of living style, from the old backward original condition to the good modern life, it can motivate people to search for inspiration to make a better life, such as how to produce more healthy food with less damage to the environment and how to clean the polluted water to be potable. It would be no exaggeration to say that no one in the world will forget the hybrid rice, which can produce several times rice more than the former. The inspiration of this invention stems from the inventor, a great Chinese scientist, Longping Yuan, facing the harsh reality that millions of people were suffering from hungry due to lacking food. This person overcame a series of obstacles and ultimately succeeded in creating hybrid rice, which saved millions of people from starvation. Such history researches are of remarkable significance in that the descendants can learn diligence, courage and wisdom from the history people who have made tremendous benefits to our daily lives and then make it possible creating better lives for human beings. （逻辑没有很多问题，只是觉得这个例证有点牵强，我觉得你举个例子证明袁隆平的勤奋，努力更好）

However, the history study which is in relation to our daily lives is as crucial as the relevant one. The research of the important events in the history will help cultivate the people’s patriotic passion which is both a stimulation for people to make concerted efforts and a great power of pushing a country forward. There is no doubt that the Chinese people will never forget Mao Zedong, a prominent brave person who guided the masses to fight for their new lives against the invasion and oppression of Japan. After eight years’ rough fight, they Chinese won and changed the fate of China from the oppressed weaker to the host of themselves. As a result, this eminent leader is still being recalled by millions of Chinese and makes them feel proud of being a Chinese. Likely, there will be no immovable patriotic feeling and national confidence without understanding of the country’s history . Consequently, even though some investigations of the history are irrelevant of our daily lives, they are indispensible and meaningful to develop patriotic passion.（这一段逻辑比较清晰，不过我觉得描写毛泽东的事迹太过冗长，而且论证也不是很有力，如果再加另外一个例子更好）


What’s more, precious experiences of running a country can be obtained by the study of history which is also not relevant of daily life. People can absorb lessons from the mistakes so as to avoid the repeated error and learn the successful experiences to guide us forward success. The rule of managing state affairs according to law which is being adopted by many countries throughout the world is the result of analyzing the history. No matter in the ancient Greece or China, facing with the drawbacks of ruling by propriety or man, the statement of regulating the country according to law is a new reform. Which has been proved by the practice of history to be correct. As a result, nowadays, there are many nations which prefer to this rule to manage the country and get excellent effect.（这一段例子论证时貌似和论点没有什么关系哦）


To sum up, history is a treasure-house with inexhaustible precious wealth to descendents. As the saying goes ”history is a mirror to today”. The study aspects of history both about the relevant and irrelevant are significant. What’s we need to do is unearthing the value historical treasure to serve today.（总体来说还是不错的，逻辑还是比较清晰，只是要加强点例子就好了--主要是减少冗余，本人也写地不是很好，有意见莫怪哈）

zhouhickUID: 2768760

TOPIC: ISSUE135 - "While most of the environmental problems we face result from the use of technology, society must depend upon technology to find solutions to these problems."
WORDS: 585
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010-3-8 11:54:44
   提纲，第一，承认科技带来很多问题，但是人带来更多。
             第二，论证科技对改善环境有好处。
             第三，但最重要的还是人的行为。

Whether most of the environmental problems we face result from the use of technology so that we must rely on technology to solve these problems? In my view, I concede technology actually brings about many environmental problems for human-beings. Therefore, harnessing technology seems to be an important means to prevent the problems. However, I partly agree with the speaker because we humans should also responsible for finding solutions from ourselves.


Admittedly, technology indisputably attaches many environmental problems to our society during these years, such as The Increasing of Temperature, Ice Melt and so forth. For example, many advanced industries release garbage to the water, expels polluted air to the sky, and extremely destroys environment, or when our cars running in the road with high speed, have we remembered how much polluted air we breathe? Yet, at the same time, technology also helps us improve the quality of our lives, such as convenient transportation, wide distant communication. However, the environmental problems brought by advanced technology are the little part of the entire environmental problems, and the most part of the element is the people, who always create vast majority of pollution. To the people who walk in the road, they throw rubbish casually. If every person in the world just throws one pocket on the road, the pollution made by people is far more than the pollution generated by technology.


On the one hand, with high advanced skills, technology can help largely improve our environment for the reason that it can do far more than people do. Consider, for example, we can create an air-cleaning machine to recycle certain useless air and translate it into clean air, such as oxygen, or to the car, new energy can be used with little or no air pollution rather than the fuel and oil, which releases too much polluted air to the sky. Thus, through advanced technology, we actually take advantages of merits of the technology for environmental problems, and to better prevent from environmental problems, we must established a perfect pollution preventing system by technology. Systematically, how to shift pollution-harmful technology to pollution-beneficial skills becomes the direction of our future technology.


In addition, the other and most significant element of pollution is the people. After all, there are more than 5 billion people in the world, and such a huge number of people are directly related to the prevention of the pollution. Yet, every person has own requirements so that he or she more or less generates little environmental problems to the Earth. Consider, for example, smoking is likely to be the habits of large numbers of males, yet if every male smokes no more than one minutes,
the released polluted air resulting from smoking are heavy enough to destroy many trees, and to endanger our ozone. Therefore, the fundamental means of preventing environmental problems is to improve qualities of people and grow to a sort of merit that trying to give up something in order for the survival of the Earth and human.


To sum up, I partly agree with speaker's assertion. Understandably, technology indisputably is a main tool for us for solving environmental problems. However, it is useless if we human-beings are not aware of our environment. After all, human is the prime creature of the Earth and control the destiny of the nature so they must bear the most heavy burdens of preventing environment. Therefore, I think that the chief means to deal with environmental problems is to improve people's moral and ethical standards.

mailantUID: 2556159

Whether most of the environmental problems we face result from the use of technology so that we must rely on technology to solve these problems? In my view, I concede technology actually brings about many environmental problems for human-beings. Therefore, harnessing technology seems to be an important means to prevent the problems. However, I partly agree with the speaker because we humans should also ( be ) responsible for finding solutions from ourselves.


Admittedly, technology indisputably attaches many environmental problems to our society during these years, such as The Increasing of Temperature, Ice Melt and so forth. For example,(前面例如了，后面还例如会使人觉得有些唐突，可改为An example that aptly illustrate this point involves the problem of garbage releasing) many advanced industries release garbage to the water, expels polluted air to the sky, and extremely destroys environment, or when our cars running in the road with high speed, have we remembered how much polluted air we breathe? Yet, at the same time, technology also helps us improve the quality of our lives, such as convenient transportation, wide distant communication. However, the environmental problems brought by advanced technology are the(the 换为only a ) little part of the entire environmental problems, and the（primary cause devoted to it） most part of the element(删掉) is the people, who always create（the）vast majority 习惯搭配of pollution. To the people who walk in the road, they throw rubbish casually. If every person in the world just throws one pocket （没有垃圾或废纸的意思）on the road, the pollution made by people is far more than the pollution generated by technology.


On the one hand, with high advanced skills, technology can help largely improve our environment for the reason that it can do far more than people do. Consider, for example, we can create an air-cleaning machine to recycle certain useless air and translate it into clean air, such as oxygen, or to the car, new energy can be used with little or no air pollution instead of rather than 删掉 using the fuel and oil, which releases too much polluted air to the sky. Thus, through advanced technology, we actually take advantages of merits of the technology for（换为to deal with） environmental problems, and (in order to unravel the)to better prevent from environmental problems, we must established a perfect pollution preventing system by technology. Systematically, how to shift pollution-harmful technology to pollution-beneficial skills becomes the direction of our future technology.


In addition, the other and most significant element of pollution is the people. After all, there are more than 5 billion people in the world, and such a huge number of people are directly related to the prevention of the pollution. Yet, every person has their own requirements so that he or she more or less generates little environmental problems to the Earth. Consider, for example, smoking is likely to be the habits of large numbers of males, yet if every male smokes no more than one minutes, the released polluted air resulting from smoking are heavy enough to destroy many trees, and to endanger our ozone. Therefore, the fundamental means of preventing environmental problems is to improve qualities of people and grow to a sort of merit that trying to give up something in order for the survival of the Earth and human.


To sum up, I partly agree with speaker's assertion. Understandably, technology indisputably is a main tool for us for solving environmental problems. However, it is useless if we human-beings are not aware of our environment. After all, human is the prime creature of the Earth and control the destiny of the nature so they must bear the most heavy(heaviest) burdens of preventing environment pollution. Therefore, I think that the chief means to deal with environmental problems is to improve people's moral and ethical standards.(注：红色为应添加，青绿色为应删除，建议作者在语言上多加斟酌，避免低级错误。举例上如能用一些像哥本哈根气候会议这样的例子会更有说服力。个人意见，仅供参考)

mailantUID: 2556159

issue 131 "The arts (painting, music, literature, etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society."
艺术（绘画、音乐、文学等）展现了那些隐藏的观点和社会的脉动。


The essence of art lies in that it provides us with the insight to understand what is eternal and universal. That’s the reason why the speaker claims that the arts display the thought and motivation of a society which have being screened. Without question, my views on this issue coincide closely with the speaker. From an aspect of the artistic origin, and the representation of the art, they will surely reveal the hidden social concepts and inspirations. Yet, strictly speaking, although the opinion of speaker appeared rigorous, there are still a few small loopholes which should be considered thoroughly, in some cases, the ideas and impulses of a society are directly revealed by specific arts, especially as the document literature.

To begin with, one compelling argument in favor of speaker’s view has to do with the fact that the inspiration to originate the work of art is firmly rooted in society. Without the contents supplied by the stage of society, merely through acting blindly at the artist’s home cannot create any appealing work of art. Take the celebrated composer Beethoven as an example, one day; he concentrated all his efforts on writing a sonata at home. Although he cudgeled his brain for it, the melody was still far from his satisfactory. Instead of keep on writing, Beethoven decided strolling outside to calm his tighten nerves. When he walked in a park, suddenly he was drawn by piano sound from a worn-out house not far away. He directly walked toward there, what surprised him is that a blinded young girl playing a shabby piano; the girl unceasingly played one tune. The girl who remain strived in adversity deeply enlightened Beethoven, the notably sonata Moonlight had been originated under the experience. From this instance we can clearly realized that since the ideas and impulses of a society serve as the material of art creation, conversely, the arts definitely revel part of the thought and motivation of a society.

Furthermore, take into consideration of another argument in that the special technique of expression of the arts. As Leo Tolstoy once said, art is a use of indirect means to communicate from one person to another. Therefore, in most cases the connotation of the arts is not directly perceived through the sense. To understand it we need expert training through which a special subject has been formed, namely aesthetic. Apt examples involved the painting Mona Lisa, drawing by distinguished painter Leonardo da Vinci. This picture reflected folks’ appreciation of the beauty at that time, nonetheless, without this kind of appreciation capacity, the picture ostensibly can be deemed as just a portrait of woman. Accordingly, the arts have been considered as the revealing of hidden ideas and impulse of society.

Notwithstanding the preceding reasons which proved the viewpoint of author, one point had been overlooked by the author. There is one kind of art forms called document literature, it’s main function lies in giving factual report of some subject or activity in the society. There is no need to conjecture the real meaning of the literature, anything that the author wished to express has been straightly displayed in the face of reader. If the author can take into account of this point before making the conclusion, the opinion of the author would be more well-reasoned and persuasive.

To sum up, although there exited loophole in the author’s judgment, one flaw cannot obscure the virtues. On the whole, we have to concede that the arts definitely display unscreened ideas and impulses of a society, at least to some extent.

qisaimanUID: 2703629

The essence of art lies in that it provides us with the insight to understand what is eternal and universal. That’s the reason why the speaker claims that the arts display the thought and motivation of a society which have being screened. Without question, my views on this issue coincide closely with the speaker. From an aspect of the artistic origin, and the representation of the art, they will surely reveal the hidden social concepts and inspirations. Yet, strictly speaking, although the opinion of speaker appeared->appears or seems rigorous, there are still a few small loopholes which should be considered thoroughly, in some cases, the ideas and impulses of a society are directly revealed by specific arts, especially as the document literature.

To begin with, one compelling argument in favor of speaker’s->my view has to do->involves with the fact that the inspiration to originate the work of art is firmly rooted in society. Without the contents supplied by the stage of society, merely through acting blindly at the artist’s home cannot create any appealing work of art. Take the celebrated composer Beethoven as an example, one day; he concentrated all his efforts on writing a sonata at home. Although he cudgeled his brain for it, the melody was still far from his satisfactory. Instead of keep on writing, Beethoven decided strolling outside to calm his tighten nerves. When he walked in a park, suddenly he was drawn by piano sound from a worn-out house not far away. He directly walked toward there, what surprised him is that a blinded young girl playing a shabby piano; the girl unceasingly played one tune. The girl who remain strived in adversity deeply enlightened Beethoven, the notably sonata Moonlight had been originated under->from the experience. From this instance we can clearly realized that since the ideas and impulses of a society serve as the material of art creation, conversely, the arts definitely revel part of the thought and motivation of a society.
本段论点从社会对艺术的启发作用，试图证明论点。这个想法不错，不过例子太过冗长，而且说服力不强。月光曲又揭示了什么hidden ideas 呢？

Furthermore, take into consideration of another argument in that the special technique of expression of the arts. As Leo Tolstoy once said + and I paraphrase, art is a use of indirect means to communicate from one person to another. Therefore, in most cases the connotation of the arts is not directly perceived through the sense. To understand it we need expert->professional training through which a special subject has been formed, namely aesthetic->this is a adj. Apt examples involved the painting Mona Lisa, drawing by distinguished painter Leonardo da Vinci. This picture reflected folks’ appreciation of the beauty at that time, nonetheless, without this kind of appreciation capacity, the picture ostensibly can be deemed as just a portrait of woman. Accordingly, the arts have been considered as the revealing of hidden ideas and impulse of society. 好奇这个mona lisa 的意义是怎么得到的。这个争议比较大，还是换换吧。

Notwithstanding the preceding reasons which proved the viewpoint of author, one point had been overlooked by the author. There is one kind of art forms called document literature -> 简洁点, it’s->whose main function lies in giving factual report of some subject or activity in the society. There is no need to conjecture the real meaning of the literature, anything that the author wished to express has been straightly displayed in the face of reader àaudience . If the author can take into account of this point before making the conclusion, the opinion of the author would be more well-reasoned and persuasive.
这个就不好了吧，不是要与作者的论点争辩，是展现自己的观点。 不要那么明显的提及author. Speaker 或许更适合些。

To sum up, although there exited loophole in the author’s judgment, one flaw cannot obscure the virtues. On the whole, we have to concede that the arts definitely display unscreened ideas and impulses of a society, at least to some extent.


没太明白作者的观点中hidden ideas 指的是什么？ 比如对现在来说，达芬奇当时的社会hidden ideas是通过monalisa体现的？ 还是说现在的人们要通过monalisa去寻找当时的hidden ideas？
我也一直被这个题目折磨。哎。。。。
大家共同探讨吧

qisaimanUID: 2703629

ISSUE138 qisaiman- "Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
WORDS: 600
TIME: xxx
DATE: 2010-2-28 23:12:00

The speaker asserts that mistake is the only way leading to discovery or progress. However, I cannot share this opinion. I will argue that mistake is not a panacea for discovery or progress. It is the scientific research and political advance that bring us to where we are today.

A brief look back at the history illustrates that we human beings did bring many progress in both scientific disciplines and social realms, such as increased lifespan and reduced infant mortality, more opportunity for education, growing concern for the less advanced people and shorter work time. Of all the motives for these progresses, scientific discovery serves as an essential reason since it has enhanced the productivity of mankind to a level never saw before. The medical research spectacularly improves the health condition. Physical and mathematical study brings us with computer and the modern communication approaches, by which we have access to the information in an unprecedented speed and quantity. And the modern transportation tools, including vehicle, airplane and space shuffle, enable us a greater expansion to space in a significantly reduced time.

Admittedly, mistakes do exert grand influence in the scientific research. It is worthy to note that when we refer to mistakes, it does not necessarily mean that it is entirely wrong. Actually, the science history has told that it is more than a process of gradual approaching to the truth. As the scientific method indicates, we first propose a hypothesis to explain the known phenomenon and predict the unknown one. Then, to verify the hypothesis, specific experiments are designed and carried out. In the end, we may obtain data or just observe the result to examine the hypothesis. If it stands up to the experiment, it is deemed as a theory until there is further evidence suggesting otherwise; if not, we have to look for another possible explanation. The debate on the nature of light aptly demonstrates my points. First, Newton proposed a particle theory to explain the direct propagation of light. While this theory failed when the double slot refraction phenomenon was observed, which had been believed as an indispensable feature of wave. Then there was a wave theory of light. However, the later one cannot provide convincing explanation to other features of light. Finally, we come to the quantum theory which reconcile the two inadequate theories. Here the mistakes stem from an inadequate understanding to the objective law, and by employing the scientific method, we attain a more comprehensive perception to the light, thus lead to numerous discoveries that benefit us today.

However, in a narrow meaning of progress, the mistake is not necessary requisite. My personal experience can tell much. First, progress can indicate some less impressive gain as discussed above. For example, we find another alternative method to facilitate daily life, it can be regarded as progress too, or more clearly, an innovation. Nowadays the human being sometime acts as somewhat multi-task system. I am often required to handle several things simultaneously. With the increased routines, I may discover other alternative way which can bring more efficiency. Then I turn to this way and make a small yet remarkable progress. Does this have anything to do with mistakes? I am afraid not. Here the progress just means a more reasonable approach, from the inefficient one to efficient one.

Furthermore, when it comes to the social progress, it should be attributed to the growing awareness of citizenship, democracy and law. Historical and social research has long revealed that technology itself cannot guarantee a social progress, and it is the appropriate social environment that transforms the technological advancement into the well-being of public.

In conclusion, not all mistakes promise an opportunity to progress. The enduring impetus of our betterment lies in our unyielding hope to a better life and pursuit to the happiness.

星华月影UID: 2632876

The speaker asserts that mistake is the only way leading to discovery or progress. However, I cannot share this opinion. I will argue that mistake is not a panacea for discovery or progress. It is the scientific research and political advance that bring us to where we are today. (建议把这几句单句合成一个长句，一个自然段里全是单句读着显得很停顿。)
A brief look back at the history illustrates that we human beings did bring many progress in both scientific disciplines and social realms, such as increased lifespan and reduced infant mortality, more opportunity for education, growing concern for the less advanced people and shorter work time. Of all the motives for these progresses, scientific discovery serves as an essential reason since it has enhanced the productivity of mankind to a level never saw before. The medical research spectacularly improves the health condition. Physical and mathematical study brings us with computer and the modern communication approaches, by which we have access to the information in an unprecedented speed and quantity. And the modern transportation tools, including vehicle, airplane and space shuffle, enable us a greater expansion to space in a significantly reduced time.

Admittedly, mistakes do exert grand influence in the scientific research. It is worthy to note that when we refer to mistakes, it does not necessarily mean that it is entirely wrong. Actually, the science history has told that it is more than a process of gradual approaching to the truth. As the scientific method indicates, we first propose a hypothesis to explain the known phenomenon and predict the unknown one. Then, to verify the hypothesis, specific experiments are designed and carried out. In the end, we may obtain data or just observe the result to examine the hypothesis. If it stands up to the experiment, it is deemed as a theory until there is further evidence suggesting otherwise; if not, we have to look for another possible explanation. The debate on the nature of light aptly demonstrates my points. First, Newton proposed a particle theory to explain the direct propagation of light. While this theory failed when the double slot refraction phenomenon was observed, which had been believed as an indispensable feature of wave. Then there was a wave theory of light. However, the later one cannot provide convincing explanation to other features of light. Finally, we come to the quantum theory which reconcile the two inadequate theories. Here the mistakes stem from an inadequate understanding to the objective law, and by employing the scientific method, we attain a more comprehensive perception to the light, thus lead to numerous discoveries that benefit us today.

However, in a narrow meaning of progress, the mistake is not necessary requisite. My personal experience can tell much. First, progress can indicate some less impressive gain as discussed above. For example, we find another alternative method to facilitate daily life, it can be regarded as progress too, or more clearly, an innovation. Nowadays the human being sometime acts as somewhat multi-task system. I am often required to handle several things simultaneously. With the increased routines, I may discover other alternative way which can bring more efficiency. Then I turn to this way and make a small yet remarkable progress. Does this have anything to do with mistakes? I am afraid not. Here the progress just means a more reasonable approach, from the inefficient one to efficient one.

Furthermore, when it comes to the social progress, it should be attributed to the growing awareness of citizenship, democracy and law. Historical and social research has long revealed that technology itself cannot guarantee a social progress, and it is the appropriate social environment that transforms the technological advancement into the well-being of public.

In conclusion, not all mistakes promise an opportunity to progress. The enduring impetus of our betterment lies in our unyielding hope to a better life and pursuit to the happiness.

个人觉得这篇文章语言方面很不错，值得我们学习，至少是我，但是我对作者的观点有点疑惑。在第一段，作者将科学技术和题目中说的“失败”相比。个人觉得不妥，科学技术是一个具体的事物，而“失败”是抽象的，个人觉得没有可比性。的确有种写法是让抽象的东西具体话，但个人对这个的理解是这样的，比如讨论在某某具体的领域失败是不是成功的因素等等， 而不是直接的将失败和一个领域拿来比较。

星华月影UID: 2632876

TOPIC: ISSUE25 - "Anyone can make things bigger and more complex. What requires real effort and courage is to move in the opposite direction-in other words, to make things as simple as possible."
WORDS: 466          TIME: 04:20:38          DATE: 2010/3/8 14:22:36

According to the speaker, the process of make things as simple as possible is more difficult than the process of make things more complex and comprehensive. However, in my point of view, no matter which process contains large amount of wisdom which is valuable to obtain and can be obtained by industriously pursuing. Thus the author overstates the difficulty and significance of making things simpler.

To begin with, making problems deeper and more complex is conventionally regarded as a effort-requiring process. For example, a primary school student might feel common when he or she sees the following equations: 1+3=4, 1+5=6 / 2+3=6, 1+7=8, 3+7=10... Goldbach, yet, posed the famous Goldbach's conjecture from these simple equations, which is the oldest unsolved problem in the number theory and all mathematics. His conjecture is that every even integer greater than 2 is a number that can be expressed as the sum of two primes. This illustrates the point that even the simplest and most ordinary phenomenon might contain the great wisdom which cannot be discovered without effort. Another example is that the designers of computer network must make the network protocols extremely complex and comprehensive, otherwise, the protocol might not be sufficiently secure and there would be severe consequences. One of problems that they must take into consideration is Byzantine Generals problem, which in fact is still a shallow problem. This problem can be expressed as following: two armies of Byzantine plan to attack one city together, and the general of one army send a message to the general of the other army to declare when to start the attack. Nevertheless the first general does not know whether the second general receive the message. One might say the second general could send a feedback, but he or she would not know whether the first one receive the feedback, then the plan would not be made out. It can be seen that even a problem that seems to be simple at first glance, still requires effort to solve.

Admittedly, to make things simple, one might also pay the effort. For supporting example one should look no further than the theory of modeling. This kind of theory, which requires people to simplify the problems by ignoring the dispensable and unnecessary details which could be the obstacles in process of researching and extracting the essential, intrinsic and eternal facets of the problems, has earned significant popularity in the fields of mathematics, biology, physics, chemistry and even finance. From this example, therefore, we can conclude that simplification is in reality a process which demands wisdoms.

To sum up, the speaker's claim overstates the difficulty of simplification, at least to some extent. In final analysis, both simplification and some problems or phenomena which seem simple and common at first glance might contain wisdom which can be received through effort.

leslinUID: 2571497

leslin再来改改

TOPIC: ISSUE25 - "Anyone can make things bigger and more complex. What requires real effort and courage is to move in the opposite direction-in other words, to make things as simple as possible."
WORDS: 466          TIME: 04:20:38          DATE: 2010/3/8 14:22:36

According to the speaker, the process of make things as simple as possible is more difficult than the process of make things more complex and comprehensive. However, in my point of view, no matter which process contains large amount of wisdom which is valuable to obtain and can be obtained by industriously pursuing. Thus the author overstates the difficulty and significance of making things simpler.
开篇点题，表明观点很到位，很简洁

To begin with, making problems deeper and more complex is conventionally regarded as a effort-requiring process. For example, a primary school student might feel common when he or she sees the following equations: 1+3=4, 1+5=6 / 2+3=6, 1+7=8, 3+7=10... Goldbach, yet, posed the famous Goldbach's conjecture from these simple equations, which is the oldest unsolved problem in the number theory and all mathematics. His conjecture is that every even integer greater than 2 is a number that can be expressed as the sum of two primes. This illustrates the point that even the simplest and most ordinary phenomenon might contain the great wisdom which cannot be discovered without effort. Another example is that the designers of computer network must make the network protocols extremely complex and comprehensive, otherwise, the protocol might not be sufficiently secure and there would be severe consequences. One of problems that they must take into consideration is Byzantine Generals problem, which in fact is still a shallow problem. This problem can be expressed as following: two armies of Byzantine plan to attack one city together, and the general of one army send a message to the general of the other army to declare when to start the attack. Nevertheless the first general does not know whether the second general receive the message. One might say the second general could send a feedback, but he or she would not know whether the first one receive the feedback, then the plan would not be made out. It can be seen that even a problem that seems to be simple at first glance, still requires effort to solve.
这里作者用了两个例子：哥德巴赫猜想和计算机网络技术。我稍微感觉有些疑惑：题目中提到的是making simple is difficult，而不是simple question is difficult，感觉稍微有些不一样。确实哥德巴赫猜想很简洁也很难，但是提出这个看似简洁的哥德巴赫猜想的过程是否困难，是否需要努力，我认为这一点才是需要重点说明的。当然，后面的计算机网络的问题也是一样的。

Admittedly, to make things simple, one might also pay the effort. For supporting example one should look no further than the theory of modeling. This kind of theory, which requires people to simplify the problems by ignoring the dispensable and unnecessary details which could be the obstacles in process of researching and extracting the essential, intrinsic and eternal facets of the problems, has earned significant popularity in the fields of mathematics, biology, physics, chemistry and even finance. From this example, therefore, we can conclude that simplification is in reality a process which demands wisdoms.
这一段说明问题是不是短了点？感觉这个找主要矛盾的例子很切中核心，但是论述方面好像少了些...

那个，作者这里是不是少了一段.....作者的观点应该是原题过分强调了把问题简单化的难度，而忽略了把问题复杂化的方面，可是作者好像没有对后者进行论述呢...

To sum up, the speaker's claim overstates the difficulty of simplification, at least to some extent. In final analysis, both simplification and some problems or phenomena which seem simple and common at first glance might contain wisdom which can be received through effort.
结尾和开头一致呼应很好。

因为我感觉好像文章少了一段，所以没办法进行大评价。但是我感觉作者在举例子的时候应该挑选一下例子的哪些方面需要详细论述，而不是全部论述。
个人愚见，还请多指教了~~~

leslinUID: 2571497

还望狠批~~~

9."Academic disciplines have become so specialized in recent years that scholars' ideas reach only a narrow audience. Until scholars can reach a wider audience, their ideas will have little use."
Words: 458
According to the statement above, scholars can only make their specialized ideas have more use through reaching a wide audience. In my opinion, I have to declare that this statement has exaggerated the influence of the scope but ignored other factors.

It is true that academic disciplines have narrow audience since the specialization of them developed. As more and more cross-subjects are emerging, academic information has become only meaningful to few people, which may lead to a narrow audience. And less people can understand the ideas of these scholars, which will decline the influence of these ideas.

However, the specialization does not surely lead to the decline of influences. For example, chaos is a specialization of physics and mathematics. Although it is highly specified, yet it has considerable influence on nearly every aspect in society such as astronomy and material engineering. In astronomy, there is a famous example called three-body problem: the movement of three planets has no obvious discipline, which is a phenomenon of chaos. And in material engineering, the whole movement of particles in materials obeys the rules of probability but every one of them is moving in chaos. From the two examples above, we can conclude that specialization can cause either decline or rise of influences.

What’s more, even the scope of influence is small; it does not reasonably bring about uselessness. For example, mass-energy equation is a specialized formation in physics, which can be well understood by few people, even physicists. But it is still made of great use in human society: the application of nuclear energy has widely spread across the world, whose theoretical origin is mass-energy equation. And another extreme case is the atomic bomb. As we all know, the atomic bombs in Japan had caused a great far-reaching influence on the history of human beings, although its origin can be hardly comprehended by most of us.

In addition, the use of certain ideas and thoughts has no direct and obvious relationship with the understanding of them, which means that although audiences of ideas are few, their uses may be wide. The widespread application of personal computer is a proper illustration. Although very few of us have grasped the principal of LED or the working process of CPU, yet there are still millions of personal computers in use. More extremely, lots of people do not understand the binary, which is the basic discipline of the computer while this situation does not stop them from using computers.

In conclusion, the statement that specialized ideas with a narrow audience will have little use is single-faceted, because ideas with narrow audience do not equal to those of little use. Only through careful analysis of every factor and logical connection can we reach a convinced conclusion.

mianyixueUID: 2556529

这个我来拍

hanwenxiUID: 2690692

楼上的同学能发一篇你的么，想接着改改，节约时间 133# mianyixue

mianyixueUID: 2556529

9."Academic disciplines have become so specialized in recent years that scholars' ideas reach only a narrow audience. Until scholars can reach a wider audience, their ideas will have little use."
Words: 458
According to the statement above, scholars can only make their specialized ideas （have more use，又不是并列句怎么有两个谓语呢？这个用法不对，more useful即可） through reaching a wide audience. In my opinion, I have to declare that this statement has exaggerated the influence of the scope (but ignored ,这个又是同一个毛病，可改为while ingnoring)other factors.

It is true that academic disciplines have(既然后面用since,这里就应该改为 have had) narrow audience since the specialization of them developed(这个真别扭，建议改为developed specialization). As more and more cross-subjects are emerging, academic information has become only meaningful to few people, which may lead to a narrow audience. And less people can understand the ideas of these scholars, which will decline the influence of these ideas(这句的重点既然是后面，那就建议改下句式：Since less people......,the influence of these ideas will be declined).

However, the specialization does not surely lead to the decline of influences. For example, chaos is a specialization of physics and mathematics. Although it is highly specified, yet it has considerable influence on nearly every aspect in society such as astronomy and material engineering. In astronomy, there is a famous example called three-body problem: the movement of three planets has no obvious discipline, which is a phenomenon of chaos. And in material engineering, the whole movement of particles in materials obeys the rules of probability but every one of them is moving in chaos. From the two examples above, we can conclude that specialization can cause either decline or rise of influences.

What’s more, even(这里改为even if 合适) the scope of influence is small; it does not reasonably bring about uselessness. For example, mass-energy equation is a specialized formation in physics, which can be well understood by few people, even physicists. But it is still made of great use in human society: the application of nuclear energy has widely spread across the world, whose theoretical origin is （from the ）mass-energy equation. And another extreme case is the atomic bomb. As we all know, the atomic bombs in Japan had caused a great far-reaching influence on(我记得是用In) the history of human beings, although its origin can be hardly comprehended by most of us.

In addition, the use of certain ideas and thoughts has no direct and obvious relationship with the understanding of them（这样的问题已经出现好几次了，改为their understanding即可，你的用法太臃肿了）, which means that although audiences of ideas are few, their uses may be wide. The widespread application of personal computer is a proper illustration. Although very few of us have grasped the principal of LED or the working process of CPU, yet there are still millions of personal computers in use. More extremely, lots of people do not understand the binary, which is the basic discipline of the computer while this situation does not stop them from using computers.

这段和上一段似乎有些观点太相近了，建议，两段并为一段。

In conclusion, the statement that specialized ideas with a narrow audience will have little use is single-faceted, because ideas with narrow audience do not equal（建议改为mean） to those of little use. （Only through careful analysis of every factor and logical connection can we reach a convinced conclusion.这句话在A里也许适用，这里好像多余）
这段属于总结，但似乎只是总结了一段，其余两段的内容没有容纳好

这篇文章逻辑性很强，举的例子很具体与专业关系紧密，很好，我要向你学习，哈哈。
但是，你的句型用法建议加强