草根修改铺(楼主不在）

emteddybearUID：2699606

TOPIC: ARGUMENT169 - The following appeared in a letter from a department chairperson to the president of Pierce University.

"Some studies conducted by Bronston College, which is also located in a small town, reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most gifted teachers and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entire staff, we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. Although we cannot expect all offers to be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, the money invested in this effort will clearly be well spent because, if their spouses have a chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept our offers."
WORDS: 322(修改后 558)
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010-3-2 22:27:25

In this argument, the author of the letter recommends that Pierce University (PU) should provide employment for the spouse of each new professor they hired, in order to attract the most talented staffs and improve the moral of all the teachers and researchers. To support the recommendation, the author cites a study conducted in Bronston College (BC). The argument, well-presented above, seems logical for this recommendation at the first glance. However, a close scrutiny of this argument reveals that the argument suffers from several flaws as follows and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.

Firstly, the author makes a wrong assumption that the happiness of a family is only related to the spouses at the same geographic area. The author neglects to account for some other alternatives reasons, such as the whole income of the whole family, the children, and whether they loved each other, etc. All these things will affect their happiness, without take a consideration of these cause, the assumption lends little credible support to the conclusion that only if couples are working at the same geographic area, they will be happier.

Secondly, even though we concede that a same-geographic employment with spouse makes people happier, the arguer may make a wrong assumption that BC is similar with PU in all aspects to conclude that professors in PU will feel happier if working with their spouses at the same geographic area. It is might be the case that these two schools are in different condition about geography, economy, and so on. Perhaps, the traffic of the town BC located might be so inconvenience that it must cost a long time to go anywhere. While, the town PU located is reversely with a high way connected, which makes the geographic separation might not be a problem. There is no information to rule out these possibilities. Therefore, it is unconvincing to make a conclusion on PU simply from the study based on BC.

Moreover, when professors, especially the talent ones, choose an institute, they may take more about reputation of the institute into account. The payments, the research facilities, the fees that the institute can provide, or even whether the team is potential, sometime may much more important than working at the same area with spouses. Maybe there is no need for require one’s spouse to work out, because one professor may be able to afford the cost of whole family. Under this circumstance, providing the employment is not attractive any more.

The last but not the least, even by provide the employment for new professors' spouses will help to attract more new talents. There is no information to support that this propose will improve the morale of the entirely staff. When PU offers employment for the new one, it might be unfair for the old staff, and will make their dissatisfaction, which might decrease the moral but not increase it. Consequently, the conclusion is unsubstantial.

Based on the discussion above, the argument is neither logical nor persuasive at it stands. To strength the argument, the author would have to provide the evidence that working at the same geographic with their spouses area play a great role in family happiness in PU. And to better evaluate the argument, some other information should be given about that this proposition will not make a bad effect between the old staff.

emteddybearUID：2699606

54楼_AY童鞋的

OK in return 贴一篇限时失败的argu  感觉很多时候不是没东西写而是没时间分析题目...甚至题目都没理解透就开始瞎找攻击点了,导致逻辑混乱  
唯一的办法就是每天拜拜春锅  要他让我我考试抽到高频argu就OK啦~
有同感啊
43.The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Theater.
"Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex."
尽管已成立50余年的当地机构Rialto剧院地处闹市，它必须采取重大变革，否则就将面临永久停业。它应该借鉴城外商业街上新的Apex剧院的例子。Apex去年开业的时候，它拥有视听走廊，豪华地毯和座椅，以及最先进的音响系统。而且，最近一次调查中，超过85％的被访者报告说新发行影片的过高票价致使他们看电影的次数每年至少减少五次。因此，如果Rialto想在电影观众减少的情况下保持市场份额，它必须提供和Apex相同的设施和服务。

With the rapid development of the society leading to people pursing a higher standard of entertainment,貌似这个背景开头好像没有什么用一样，没有联系起来 the arguer in this argument unfairly asks for a improvement of equipment for the Rialto Movie Theater (RMT) basing on the Apex Theater (AT)'s successful case. Because there are several critical fallacies in this argument.
没有用模板，赞一个哦，不过文章中还有一个survey，就是人们觉得票价高的那个，是不是也应该加进去呢
1.设备先进不代表能够有更多利润，因为更新设备和维护设备要很多钱。然而要么他提高价格，但是顾客不愿意 要么他按照原来价格卖钱，但是加上设备维护费的高额开销，利润是不是一定多呢？有待考证
To begin with, the arguer mentions that the RTM should update its equipment basing on the assumption that RTM will lose their competitive power without any measures to advance its equipment. However, the assumption is unreliable. As it stands, if RMT update its equipment with a heavily cost and an expansive maintenance cost, it may have to increase the price of the ticket in return, which could exerts a negative impact on the customers in order to balance the cost and the profit. Otherwise, the low price of ticket and the expansive fees for the equipment repairing, perhaps  leads to a less profit. Thus, without providing the evidence to support that RTM will win the favor of the customer because of its equipment updated and that the new price policy are acceptable so as to increase its profit, the arguer unfairly make a conclusion.

（没有让步。。。 限时起来根本没时间理攻击点的先后顺序） 然而作者的调查和分析都不可信
调查用户没说明白他们的分布，也就是说是否有代表性还有待验证
再者作者分析说用户看电影次数减少会导致市场变小？  很可能每个人看电影次数少了 而喜欢看电影的人多了 总体看来是市场变大了也说不定啊（这一点很好，我没有想到）
What is more, the arguer predicts the decreasing of the customer of the theater basing of the unwarranted survey and the false analysis. Since the auger did not clearly interpret the distribution of the respondents. Perhaps, most of these respondents are from the low income group which cannot afford the extra entertainment cost. Besides, the arguer also unequally assumes that the reducing times of customer going to the movies means the decreasing moviegoers. What he ignores to consider is that although the less time（fewer times? ） people go the theater, the more people take part in the group of moviegoer (every time), which means the increase of customer for the movies. As a result, the survey and the assumption seem to be unsound unless the arguer provides more data to support that the respondents are representative to the whole market and more details to substantiate his assumption.

最后，就算市场小了，作者根本就没分析什么原因会导致RTM的份额变少，得快点更新设备为了保持份额
可能是经济危机的影响导致市场份额变小的，。
Finally, even though the market of the moviegoers are decreasing, the arguer fails to provide the all-around analysis about what will cause the RTM losing its customers and then unfairly offer a critical recommendation. There are lots of factors to limit the citizens going to the movie. Perhaps, under the coming economic crisis, most of people who facing the unemployment are busy to seek their new job so as to spend less time on their entertainment or they cannot afford the ticket relying on their blank income. If so, to update the equipment with extra cost seems to be an unwise measure for the RTM, which are likely to result in the financial trouble of RTM. As the regular pattern of history tells us, the market of the moviegoers will finally be restored after the economic crisis. If this is the case, the RTM may be the perference of the customer (and there is no need to update its equipment). Thus, lacking of the details to rule out the possibilities which heavily effects customer going to the RTM, the arguer fails to conclude that the reducing customer is caused by the RTM’s out-of-dated equipment.

To sum up, the argument is unpersuasive and should be reconsidered. To strengthen this argument, more details about the distribution of the survey and information about the preference about the advanced equipment of the customer are required.

单个段的攻击没有问题，不过整体上确实有点乱，看了很久才搞清楚。按照__ay的思路，可以把body1放到最后来攻击：
1.
没有证据表明市场变小了à2.即使市场变小了也不一定是因为设备问题à3.再递进一下，说设备的现先进不一定比不先进时带来的效益多，要权衡
不晓得这样要得不，其实也许__ay的思路差不多
还有__ay没有说Apex剧院的情况，貌似一个字都没有提呢，难道我没有找到？

__ayUID：2688700

62# emteddybear 当然可以攻击AT啦 说他设备好但不一定利润高  不郭我是找到一个攻击一个  没时间整理思绪~~  能力有限的情况下只能这样了

bzr2915UID：2612029

改61楼~
TOPIC: ARGUMENT169 - The following appeared in a letter from a department chairperson to the president of Pierce University.

"Some studies conducted by Bronston College, which is also located in a small town, reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most gifted teachers and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entire staff, we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. Although we cannot expect all offers to be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, the money invested in this effort will clearly be well spent because, if their spouses have a chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept our offers."
WORDS: 322(修改后 558)
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010-3-2 22:27:25

In this argument, the author of the letter recommends that Pierce University (PU) should provide employment for the spouse of each new professor they hired, in order to attract the most talented staffs and improve the moral of all the teachers and researchers. To support the recommendation, the author cites a study conducted in Bronston College (BC). The argument, well-presented above, seems logical for this recommendation at the first glance. However, a close scrutiny of this argument reveals that the argument suffers from several flaws as follows and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.（这一句模板气太重，完全北美的感觉，改写一下，我的建议是开头把主要错误轻点一遍，重述题目虽然也可以但是对文章的帮助不大，有时候给人的感觉是凑字数）

Firstly, the author makes a wrong assumption that the happiness of a family is only related to the spouses at the same geographic area. The author neglects to account for some other alternatives reasons, such as the whole income of the whole family, the children, and whether they loved each other, etc. All these things will affect their happiness, without take a consideration of these cause, the assumption lends little credible support to the conclusion that only if couples are working at the same geographic area, they will be happier.（这一段反驳细节展开不够翔实，每一种可能往详细里说）

Secondly, even though we concede that a same-geographic employment with spouse makes people happier, the arguer may make a wrong assumption that BC is similar with PU in all aspects to conclude that professors in PU will feel happier if working with their spouses at the same geographic area. It is might be the case that these two schools are in different condition about geography, economy, and so on. Perhaps, the traffic of the town BC located might be so inconvenience that it must cost a long time to go anywhere. While, the town PU located is reversely with a high way connected, which makes the geographic separation might not be a problem. There is no information to rule out these possibilities. Therefore, it is unconvincing to make a conclusion on PU simply from the study based on BC. （这里我觉得重点应该在质疑那个STUDY的可信性，然后再说BC所在的小镇子和PU情况可能不同不能类比，另外原文里并没有提到PU位于小镇子中，在另外这个STUDY中的小镇子到底是一个什么概念，到底多小才能被称为一个SMALL TOWN?这些都可以在这段里攻击，恩）

Moreover, when professors, especially the talent ones, choose an institute, they may take more about reputation of the institute into account. The payments, the research facilities, the fees that the institute can provide, or even whether the team is potential, sometime may much more important than working at the same area with spouses. Maybe there is no need for require one’s spouse to work out, because one professor may be able to afford the cost of whole family. Under this circumstance, providing the employment is not attractive any more.

The last but not the least, even by provide the employment for new professors' spouses will help to attract more new talents. There is no information to support that this propose will improve the morale of the entirely staff. When PU offers employment for the new one, it might be unfair for the old staff, and will make their dissatisfaction, which might decrease the moral but not increase it. Consequently, the conclusion is unsubstantial.

这里两段其实可以合并攻击一个错误：到底PU这个投资是不是像原文中的“the money invested in this effort will clearly be well spent ”，你投了钱雇了家属特别是对所有员工，如果不能吸引到教授那么无疑这就是一个失败透顶的PROJECT，或者并不能提高员工的斗志,这样把两段并在一起，会把问题分析的更透彻。


Based on the discussion above, the argument is neither logical nor persuasive at it stands. To strength the argument, the author would have to provide the evidence that working at the same geographic with their spouses area play a great role in family happiness in PU. And to better evaluate the argument, some other information should be given about that this proposition will not make a bad effect between the old staff.

攻击的点多但是一点而过，不如重点攻击几个主要错误并进行详细的分析，反例要充实要多要有递进，效果就是阅卷的一看一个例子比一个例子有说服力，最后五体投地，一句带过几个反例是对资源的极大浪费，恩，其实逻辑错误大家找的都差不多，关键看的是分析过程，千万别只顾着找错了~

bzr2915UID：2612029

收尾比较仓促，请楼下狠拍，你的留情就是对我的残忍~

TOPIC: ARGUMENT177 - The following is a letter that recently appeared in the Oak City Gazette, a local newspaper.

"Membership in Oak City's Civic Club-a club whose primary objective is to discuss local issues-should continue to be restricted to people who live in Oak City. People who work in Oak City but who live elsewhere cannot truly understand the business and politics of the city. It is important to restrict membership to city residents because only residents pay city taxes and therefore only residents understand how the money could best be used to improve the city. At any rate, restricting membership in this way is unlikely to disappoint many of the nonresidents employed in Oak City, since neighboring Elm City's Civic Club has always had an open membership policy, and only twenty-five nonresidents have joined Elm City's Club in the last ten years."
WORDS: 318(493)
TIME: 00:28:35
DATE: 2010-3-3 16:04:37

Though, the argument seems logical at first, it contains several fatal flaws. First, the author bases on no evidence to claim that nonresidents do no contribution to the club. Also, the arguer fails to articulate why this policy would not hurt nonresidents' heart. Moreover, the comparison between Elm City (EC) cannot be an evidence to support this assertion. I will discuss all these logic flaws as following.

To begin with, the author offers a weaken assumption that only residents could make contribution to such a club, which is a totally subjective view by the arguer. Without more evidences to prove such a presumption, it is quite possible be another situation, for example, residents- as long time they have been stayed in - may lose the ability to find some hidden problems among their living environment. These problems including the decline of living environment, the effectiveness of local offices, and some violate behaviors of city governors. Without an effect contrast between other cities it is difficult to find out these potential crisis, which could be solved by nonresidents who with a higher standard in their cities effectively. Furthermore the reason that supports this point has logical mistakes. First, there is no causal relationship between paying tax and giving a good advice to improve a city. It is likely that as the heavy tax burden, there is no time for residents to make a sound advice instead of complaints. Second, there is no evidence to support that a non tax payer could not give their effort to improve the city. It is the most cases that the nonresident, though do not pay tax to the city, could offer more information about the out world to the local city. The more advices the better, after all, there is no reason for the club to refuse more critical suggestions.

In addition, whether this restriction would disappoint the nonresidents is not a simple problem as the argument discusses. In most situations, offers few seats to minority showing the respect to them, however, without any position it is quite possible to provoke the conflict between residents and nonresidents. As there is no evidence to show that nonresidents have no desire about the participation of the club, the author cannot assert that this restriction does hurt their hearts. The argument also fails to give sufficient reasons to prove that there exist a number of similarities for the two cities to transplant their experience with each other.

In sum, the letter contains some flaws which weaken its logic. It is helpful to provide more evidences such as non tax payer do no contribution to the improvement of cities, and residents have the advantages over nonresidents to do a progress of the local city to support the point that only local residents could take part in the club. Also it is could be improved by making a specific survey about the two cities to substantiate there exists significant enough similarities between them.

AlbusWuUID：2689993

for 61楼 emteddybear
第一次修改作文，而且水平有限，改得不好见谅哈~~~
In this argument, the author of the letter recommends that Pierce University (PU) should provide employment for the spouse of each new professor they hired, in order to attract the most talented staffs and improve the moral of all the teachers and researchers. To support the recommendation, the author cites a study conducted in Bronston College (BC). The argument, well-presented above, seems logical for this recommendation at the first glance. However, a close scrutiny of this argument reveals that the argument suffers from several flaws as follows and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.

(BC的survey是作为一个既定事实出现的，个人认为不应该先攻击其合理性，而应该先攻击错误类比，再攻击说对于PU来说员工在同一地方工作并不是家庭幸福的决定因素)
First of all, the arguer may make a wrong assumption that BC is similar with PU in all aspects to conclude that professors in PU will feel happier if working with their spouses at the same geographic area. It (is) might be the case that these two schools are in different conditions of (about) geography, economy, and so on. Perhaps, the traffic of the town BC located in might be so inconvenient (inconvenience是名词) that it would (must 语气太强烈) cost a long time to go anywhere. While the transportation of the town PU located in is highly developed that the geographical separation might not be the problem.  (While, the town PU located in is reversely with a high way connected, which makes the geographic separation might not be a problem.) However, this argument fails to rule out all these possibilities. (There is no information to rule out these possibilities. )Therefore, it is unconvincing to make a conclusion on PU simply from the study based on BC.

In addition, it is unwarranted that the happiness of a family is only related to the spouses’ working distance. (the author makes a wrong assumption that the happiness of a family is only related to the spouses at the same geographic area. )The author neglects to account for some other alternatives reasons, such as the whole income of the whole family, the children, and whether they love(d) each other, etc. All these issues(老用things很难看) will affect their happiness, without take serious (a) consideration of these causes, the assumption lends little credible support to the conclusion that only if couples are working at the same geographic area, they will be happier.

Moreover, when professors, especially the talented ones, choose an institute, they may consider more about the reputation of the institute, (into account,理解你的意思，但很拗口) as well as(这样可以扩写句子了) the payments, the research facilities, the fees that the institute can provide, and even whether the team is potential enough. (, sometime may much more important than working at the same area with spouses.很累赘)  (Maybe there is no need for require one’s spouse to work out, because one professor may be able to afford the cost of whole family. Under this circumstance, providing the employment is not attractive any more. )这个例子感觉不恰当，既然不用出去工作，自然不存在去招聘的问题了，这段最好重写一下，个人意见…

The last but not the least, even by providing the employment for new professors' spouses will help to attract more new talents. There is no information to support that this propose will improve the morale of the entire(ly,原文中有的还要写错…) staff. When PU offers employment for the new one, it might be unfair for the old staff, and it will render them dissatisfactory (make their dissatisfaction), which might decrease the moral instead of  (but not ) increasing it. Consequently, the conclusion is unsubstantial.

Based on the discussion above, the argument is neither logical nor persuasive as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the author would have to provide the evidence that working at the same geographic area with their spouses (area) plays an important (a great) role in family happiness in PU. And to better evaluate the argument, some other information should be given as the old staff will benefit from the policy as well (about that this proposition will not make a bad effect between the old staff.)

AlbusWuUID：2689993

改完了61楼的，贴一下我的习作哈，希望大家帮帮忙哈~~~
130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

Position: The way to educate children determines the orientation of society. We've do well in bringing up children now while there still exist some serious problems which hinder the development of a better society in the future.

1.How we educate children today determines the orientation of the society.
2.What we did good in education.
3.Serious problems need to be solved.


Children are the flowers of the society, as an old saying goes. That is to say, this society will benefit from today's children in the future. However, it is questionable, as obviously, today's adults are yesterday's children, but not all of them have done good to the society. So will the children today affect tomorrow's society? The answer is yes, apparently. But what will influence the way children acting to the society?
       In my view, how children are educated today actually determines the orientation of the society in the future. It is evidently that young people are easily influenced by the circumstances around them, for their lackage of the ability of justification. On the one hand, the one who is educated to steal by his father will possibly turn to a thief when he grows older, which will inevitably harm the society. On the other hand, the one whose mother is a policewoman may ask him to be courageous and lend a hand to those who need help, which will do good to the society. Children are not apt to justify what is good or bad, only the one who educates them tells so. Moreover, less sensitive as they are, children are more likely to take actions by emotion. That is to say, children may failed to control his anger and become insolent to the others, probably being brutal to the whole society. Accordingly, children need to be well forstered in order to bring benefits to the society.
       It is appreciated that we've already achieved several successes in educating children, which have brought prosperity to certain areas and fields. For instance, a growing number of specialists in the field of astronomy are being educated year by year, who make it available for us to explore the universe and even travel to the the outer space, which not only broadens our views but also stretches our living space. Not to mention the doctors who keep us healthy, and the car makers who bring convenience to us. What's more, some children are educated to be teachers or other educaters, who are the main body of the education system.
       Notwithstanding, there exist several serious problems which not only hinder the development of children but also the society. It is commonly known that lots of children are always being asked to win the first in class, in school, even in the whole nation. That brings pressures to the inmatured children that are too huge for them to tolerate. When they are criticized for not being good enough, it is likely for them to be frustrating and breakdown, which will lead to even worse performance in the school. And later, when they grow up, if they are still not restored from the miserable experience, the society will possibly suffer from it.
       In addition, today's children are asked too often to memorize facts instead of the way to use them, which render them be lack of creativity. As a result, innovations hardly occur, probably.
       To sum up, it is possibly to draw the conclusion that how the children are nourished will determine the orientation of the society, and actually, we've done a great deal to bring up children, although there are some serious problems should be solved. We need to believe that, as the society is developing, our children will be well educated, and in turn, our society will benefit from them in the future.

AlbusWuUID：2689993

改61楼 站位
bzr2915 发表于 2010-3-3 21:15

我没看到有人占位...看到后面没人贴改过的文章，就下手改了，失误啊...

emteddybearUID：2699606

改 67楼

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

Position: The way to educate children determines the orientation of society. We've do well in bringing up children now while there still exist some serious problems which hinder the development of a better society in the future.
(⊙o⊙)…， 把raise 和socialize 同一归为educate
1.How we educate children today determines the orientation of the society.
2.What we did good in education.
3.Serious problems need to be solved.


Children are the flowers of the society, as an old saying goes. That is to say, this society will benefit from today's children in the future. However, it is questionable, as obviously, today's adults are yesterday's children, but not all of them have done good to the society. So will the children today affect tomorrow's society? The answer is yes, apparently. But what will influence the way children acting to the society?
       In my view, how children are educated today actually determines the orientation of the society in the future. It is evidently that young people are easily influenced by the circumstances around them, for their lackage（lack 好像就可以当一个名词） of the ability of justification. On the one hand, the one who is educated to steal by his father will possibly turn to a thief when he grows older, which will inevitably harm the society. On the other hand, the one whose mother is a policewoman may ask him to be courageous and lend a hand to those who need help, which will do good to the society. Children are not apt to justify what is good or bad, only the one who educates them tells so. Moreover, less sensitive as they are, children are more likely to take actions by emotion. (这句话好突兀的感觉) （That is to say, children may fail（ed） to control his anger and become insolent to the others, probably being brutal to the whole society.）把这一句放在moreover后面会不会好些 Accordingly, children need to be well forstered（fostered） in order to bring benefits to the society.
       It is appreciated that we've already achieved several successes in educating children, which have brought prosperity to certain areas and fields. For instance, a growing number of specialists in the field of astronomy are being educated year by year, who make it available for us to explore the universe and even travel to the the outer space, which not only broadens our views but also stretches our living space我们还没能住到外太空去呢，难道我理解错了？. Not to mention the doctors who keep us healthy, and the car makers who bring convenience to us. What's more, some children are educated to be teachers or other educaters, who are the main body of the education system.这个例子貌似不是很恰当，前面的例子不错
       Notwithstanding, there exist several serious problems which not only hinder the development of children but also the society. It is commonly known that lots of children are always being asked to win the first in class, in school, even in the whole nation. That brings pressures to the inmatured（immatured） children that are too huge for them to tolerate. When they are criticized for not being good enough, it is likely for them to be frustrating and breakdown, which will lead to even worse performance in the school. And later, when they grow up, if they are still not restored from the miserable experience, the society will possibly suffer from it.
       （为什么要分段呢）In addition, today's children are asked too often to memorize facts instead of the way to use them, which render them be lack of creativity. As a result, innovations hardly occur, probably.
       To sum up, it is possibly to draw the conclusion that how the children are nourished will determine the orientation of the society, and actually, we've done a great deal to bring up children, although there are some serious problems should be solved. We need to believe that, as the society is developing, our children will be well educated, and in turn, our society will benefit from them in the future.

通读了之后，感觉思路还是很清晰的，不过感觉没有很好的诠释开头段的这两句话but not all of them have done good to the society. So will the children today affect tomorrow's society?

emteddybearUID：2699606

求狠拍！！！！

TOPIC: ISSUE11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."
WORDS: 421
(改后653)
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010-3-3 10:28:02
哎 限时的真的好烂啊，只有再重新改一遍，几乎算是重写了，郁闷ing
As the development of the society in the world, different countries are all facing some persistent social problems and each country is less likely separated. It seems that globalization represents the trends of the time. Some people even propose that all nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems. I think it is an initiated idea, ideally can bring many profits for the participated nations, but difficult to make it come true.

Obviously, there are many advantages to build the school intent to solve the persistent social problems. For one thing, in our modern time, a myriad of dogged problems have occurred in most of countries, such as crime, economic crisis, pollution, energy source, etc, all of which have bothered us for a long time. Although each nation has being tried their best to deal with them. The pace of recovering is not likely to catch up with the destroyed rate. It shows that it is impossible to solve these problems only by one individual country. People in different must cooperate together. And the school seems one available method to reach the goal. For another, the students and faculties from different nations study and work together, which makes them understand each other much more than before. Diversity culture conflict force them accept diversity cultures, and enlarge their views and ideas. By this way people learn how to respect other nation culture, which will do a favor of the globalization, the peach of the world.

However, even though we can get a lot if the global university is built, there are more obstacles we must face at before it is built.

Firstly, the financial problem may be a big problem. Obviously, the built of the university will cost too much, especially when it will do researches on those “expensive” subjects. And then the questions come out---Which country would participate into the program? How much money should each nation provide for this university? Do they need to give the same? But the real is that each country has its own national condition; developing country and developed country are much different at the financial state. For instance, some Africa countries are even suffering from hunger. It is impossible to ask for money from them. But if the program is afforded only by those rich countries, there are also some cases. The one is they give up this program, because they certainly do not will to do good things for others even though they are one of the beneficiary. For example, the air pollution is not one nation’s business, if they fund to solve this problem, all the world will profit. The other case is that they only fund to those most urgent subjects in their own countries. But it will be not the primary intent of the program.


Secondly, to achieve the intent of the program, the management of the school must be away from political. But it is difficult to get there. For one thing, when determine which subjects should be involved and how much money should be provided to those subjects, each country has their own desires. There is no doubt that all the country want the school can fund more money for those subjects their countries eager to solve. Even though they male a deal of this problem, how about the achievement of the researches, especially for some controversial subjects. For example, assuming that the school successfully has addressed the nuclear energy, which should be used energy source. However, some tragedy may be caused if there is not an advanced management. It is difficult to ferret out if some researchers apply the products into weapons for their mother country.

In summary, before successfully deal with the obstacles mentioned above, it is impossible to built the global school. That is easy to said, hard to done!

__ayUID：2688700

65# bzr2915

TOPIC: ARGUMENT177 - The following is a letter that recently appeared in the Oak City Gazette, a local newspaper.

"Membership in Oak City's Civic Club-a club whose primary objective is to discuss local issues-should continue to be restricted to people who live in Oak City. People who work in Oak City but who live elsewhere cannot truly understand the business and politics of the city. It is important to restrict membership to city residents because only residents pay city taxes and therefore only residents understand how the money could best be used to improve the city. At any rate, restricting membership in this way is unlikely to disappoint many of the nonresidents employed in Oak City, since neighboring Elm City's Civic Club has always had an open membership policy, and only twenty-five nonresidents have joined Elm City's Club in the last ten years."
WORDS: 318(493)
TIME: 00:28:35
DATE: 2010-3-3 16:04:37

Though, the argument seems logical at first, it contains several fatal flaws. First, the author bases on no evidence to claim that nonresidents do no contribution to the club. Also, the arguer fails to articulate why this policy would not hurt nonresidents' heart. Moreover, the comparison between Elm City (EC) cannot be an evidence to support this assertion. I will discuss all these logic flaws as following.

To begin with, the author offers a weaken assumption that only residents could make contribution to such a club, which is a totally subjective view by the arguer. Without more evidences to prove such a presumption, it is quite possible be another situation, for example, residents- as long time they have been stayed in - may lose the ability to find some hidden problems (such as 接上后面那句话的内容会比较好些吧?) among their living environment(为什么呢？ 这里就应该紧接着进一步分析说是居民看不到和其他地方的差异 所以没有建设性意见和差异性眼光). These problems including the decline of living environment, the effectiveness(ineffective?) of local offices, and some violate behaviors of city governors. Without an effect contrast between other cities it is difficult to find out these potential crisis, which could be solved by nonresidents who(动词咧?) with a higher standard(这里说a wide experience会不会好一些？2个地方都住过 当然wide experience啦~) in their cities effectively(还可以再进一步说明 通过引进外地的技术,投资,管理制度啥来解决上面提到的问题). (这里是不是该分段了?)Furthermore the reason that supports this point那个point? has logical mistakes. First, there is no causal relationship between paying tax and giving a good advice to improve a city. It is likely that as the heavy tax burden(这个跟他们没时间有啥关系?得进一步说明), there is no time for residents to make a sound advice instead of complaints. Second, there is no evidence to support that a non tax payer could not give their effort to improve the city. It is the most cases that the nonresident, though do not pay tax to the city, could offer more information about the out world to the local city( so as to enrich the city). The more advices the better, after all, there is no reason for the club to refuse more critical suggestions.

In addition, whether this restriction would disappoint the nonresidents is not a simple problem as the argument discusses.(其实这里最好就有个铺垫指出A城政策不适于B城然后再论证  就显得很自然了) In most situations, offers few seats to minority showing the respect to them(你能解释一下为什么不公正待遇是有礼貌的表现不?你是不是想说disrespect的?), however, without any position(without any position 是说限制非居民吧？with no attention on them会不会好一些？) it is quite possible to provoke the conflict between residents and nonresidents. As there is no evidence to show that nonresidents have no desire about the participation of the club, the author cannot assert that this restriction does hurt their hearts. The argument also fails to give sufficient reasons to prove that there exist a number of similarities for the two cities to transplant their experience with each other. (the case in A can not be carried out in B就可以了  我觉得语句有些罗嗦~)
个人觉得第二段说论述过程应该是先指出作者错误在那然后再分析

In sum, the letter contains some flaws which weaken its logic. It is helpful to provide more evidences such as(求证，such as后可以跟句子？) non tax payer do no contribution to the improvement of cities, and residents have the advantages over nonresidents to do a progress of the local city to support the point that only local residents could take part in the club. Also it is could be improved by making a specific survey about the two cities to substantiate there exists significant enough similarities between them.
我觉得读这个文章怪别扭的  句子之间的衔接上有待加强~
当然也可能是我英文水平问题  HOHO~

rodgoodUID：2619326

70楼的修改


TOPIC: ISSUE11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."


As the development of the society in the world, different countries are all facing some persistent social problems, and each country is less likely separated. It seems that globalization represents the trends of the time.( 本来就是吧，不是“好像是”) Some people even (这个even有跳跃。建议删去。如果一定要，可以在这句话前面加上“一些人建议加强国家间合作”以过渡) propose that all nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems. I think it is an initiated idea, (which) ideally can bring many profits for the participated nations, but difficult to make it come true.

Obviously, there are many advantages to build the school (with the) intent to solve the persistent social problems. For one thing, in our modern time, a myriad of dogged problems have occurred in most of countries, such as crime, economic crisis, pollution, energy source, etc, all of which have bothered us for a long time. Although each nation has being tried their best to deal with them. The (, the) pace of recovering is not likely to catch up with the destroyed rate. It (it是什么？这句话为什么说一个国家不能解决？金钱？实力？还是其他？) shows that it is impossible to solve these problems only by one individual（语义重复） country. People in different （countries）must cooperate together（语义重复）. （这里说的合作有哪些呢？个人觉得可以举些例子来和建学校对比，结合下句来说明建学校的优势）And the school seems one available method (“可用的”没有说服力。且为什么这个方法优于其他合作的方法？没有说清楚) to reach the goal. For another, the（×） students and faculties from different nations study and work together, which makes them understand each other much more than before. Diversity（diverse adj.） culture conflict forces them accept diversity cultures, and enlarge their views and ideas.(凭什么说“冲突”就能带来这些好处？何况就发生在身边，相隔数千公里都能打起来，在一起就带来好处了？) By this way people learn how to respect other nation culture, which will do a favor of the globalization, the peach of the world.

However, even though we can get（benefit） a lot if the global university is built (from the university), there are more obstacles we must face at (×) before it is built.

Firstly, the financial problem may be a big problem. Obviously, the built (building) of the university will cost too much, especially when it will do researches on those “expensive” subjects(首先从句应该用一般现在时。另外，哪些学科“很贵”？上课应该成本贵不了哪去吧). And then the questions come out---Which country would participate（指出钱？） into the program? How much money should each nation provide for this university? Do they need to give the same（contribute the same amount）? But the real is that each country has its own national condition; developing country and developed country are much different at the financial state. For instance, some Africa countries are even suffering from hunger. It is impossible(太绝对了吧，人家愿意出钱呢，个人意见.只是让人家出钱不合适，不近情理) to ask for money from them. But if the program is afforded only by those rich countries, there are also some cases. The one is （that）
they give up this program, because they certainly do not will to(are not willing to) do good things for others even though they are one of the beneficiary. For example, the air pollution is not one nation’s business, if they fund to solve this problem, all the world will profit. The other case is that they only fund to those most urgent subjects in their own countries. But it will be not the primary intent of the program. 戛然而止，呼应下TS吧


Secondly, to achieve the intent of the program, the management of the school must be away from(avoid)
political（politics）. But it is difficult to get there(do so). For one thing, when determine which subjects should be involved and how much money should be provided to those subjects, each country has their own desires. There is no doubt that all the country(个人感觉太绝对了，比如我们中国就maybe无私，呵呵) want the school can fund more money for those subjects their countries eager to solve. Even though they male a deal of this problem, how about the achievement of the researches, especially for some controversial subjects. For example, assuming that the school successfully has addressed the nuclear energy(什么叫解决核能？为什么要解决它？), which should be used （as）energy source这是个从句，主句在哪里？. However, some tragedy may be caused if there is not an advanced management. It is difficult to ferret out if some researchers apply the products into weapons for their mother country.

In summary, before successfully deal with the obstacles mentioned above, it is impossible to built the global school. That is easy to said, hard to done!（This is an easy concept to understand, but difficult to translate into practice）

__ayUID：2688700

啊。。。。  发晚了  排到最后了都。。。。。 哈哈
先占位~在改~
40"Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem."
我们不应该仅仅关注学者和研究者的著作能否对社会做出贡献。更重要的是关注他们如何追求实现自己的兴趣，无论那些兴趣显得是多么的非同寻常。(少数和多数之科学家)

To truly promote the society, the author concludes that the researches and scholars should pay less attention to the researches useless to the world. However, I can hardly agree with the author, for the reason that any researches has its destiny to develop the society, but their works cannot be accepted in a short-time.

Admittedly, one should follow his interests which are the driving power of the creativity in order to benefit the society. Person will be complete inspired only if they do the work they want. That is, to pursuing an effective promotion the performance of people in the business, the researches etc. taking the personal preference in to account is necessary. A topical example that it is the person called Van Gogh, regarded as a great painter in the people's mind gives the Sunflower birth. Despite his difficult life, he paint what he want, press what he like, and color what he prefers. clearly illustrates that man doing his interests helps light up his creativity, release his lust, and encourage his depression.

However, an essential valuable research is irrelevant to the time, which means that it unfairly ensures its value in a short-time. Since the research making no contribution to the society in that era does not suggest its value cannot be dug out by the people later. As an old saying goes, "gold will glitter forever". To some extent, it interprets that in the complex world, a work’s ignored mean nothing about its useless, but the lack of the people who is able to find out its wander. Confucius, a well-known philosopher in ancient China, creates his works advocating people of benevolent and friendly. As a result, people, in the present day, realize that the works indicate the reasonable thoughts to peace the world and the effective way to effect people in a positive way.

Additionally, personal interest researches could effective benefit the society only to the extent that the researches should not be out of the moral standard. These researches such as biography weapons, clone technology, etc. sometimes seem to be crazy that they are born to break up the order of the world, which means a widely involved world, or a moral disaster. Otherwise, the controversial researches are likely to exert a negative impact on the progress of the society. For instance, the clone evaluated as both negative and positive attitudes are a hot topic in the current day. On one hand, this technology brings a fresh air to the treatment of incurable diseases. On the other hand, it is defined as a dangerous research of clone people, for the reason that the widespread using of these researches could arouse numerous problems of law, moral, etc. leading to a broken order in converting ethical standards.

To sum up, society develop with a stable, controllable only if the personal interest conducted in a correct way, inspiring people in the mind and encouraging them in the work. Besides, lacking of the talent scouts with a widely knowledge and a profound analysis for the researches, one can rarely make a full use of these researches.


1.科学著作能不能对社会的贡献是无法短期内判断的.
        现在看来没用的理论不代表将来会没用
        就如 是金子总会发光 gold will glitter forever 一样  任何科学研究都有他的价值 然而我们这个社会缺少的是伯乐
        例子 孔子

2. 无论著作的效果如何,我们应该关注个人追寻自己的兴趣方向
        鼓励个人追寻自己的兴趣方向的时候更容易发散自己的思维,提出创新的一些东西
        然而创新性的作品正是社会发展的动力
        例如 梵高(Van Gogh)能够给予向日葵生命(Sunflower)是因为他喜欢画画
               
3. 有些科学研究超出了社会道德范围之外的 我们是不应该赞同的
        科学研究的前提是不应该给社会带来危害的前提下
        但是有些科学研究的成果可能会给社会带来很多麻烦
        比如说克隆技术
        克隆技术的成果会给社会带来不稳定的因素
        因为它会引发许多道德,法律等问题
        所以类如克隆技术的研究是不应该提倡的

rodgoodUID：2619326

啊哦，误操作。实在不好意思，网络不好，请lz见谅~~

rodgoodUID：2619326

70楼习作已改

谢谢修改先~~~


TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."

In the society today with the rapid development of science and culture, it seems that much is getting so new and complex that we cannot get any help from the past, which means old and out of date, when we encounter problems today. However, we need not to be so pessimistic. From the two factors, inner one and outer one, leading to the growth of society and what the reality is, it is convinced that we can take advantage of the past to guide our lives today.

To begin with, the factors that influence the society are supposed to be discussed, which can be generated into two, inner factor and outer factor.

On one hand, the inner factor, the humanity, remains the same. Why is humanity the inner factor of societies? In the history of human beings, people are the constructor of societies. The development of societies depends on people's behaviors mostly determined by humanity. That is to say, the essentials of human beings always influence where societies go. So what is humanity? The Renaissance artists used their brushes and melodies to depict people's pursuit of love, genuineness, and beauty. The Japanese film, Rashomon, uncovered the dark side of humanity: selfish, unreliability, and imperceptibility. Although these works were temporary, their significance of grasping the humanity correctly is of lasting value. Since for thousands of years the humanity does not change, there will be similarities of people's activities even in different period that make the societies having similarities.


On the other hand, the outer factor, the objective rules of development of things, is consistent. Firstly, time is continuous, so no development in our lives is discrete. For example, in scientific research, every breakthrough is based on the former achievements. It is like a ladder leading to the sky; every rung of which contributes to the next. Similarly, everything develops step by step. Secondly, every development has the process of start, development, and end. We come to the world from birth, we grow up to adulthood, and we die within 100 years. Not only lives, but also other things have such experience, such as a big company, a nation, even the little pen we use everyday. Thirdly, results must have their causes. From consequences, we can retrospect their reasons and think about how the reasons cause the consequences. So the development of things has regular patterns to follow.

Therefore, although societies at different times look different, there are probably similarities and laws for us to refer to, which of course can guide our lives today.

Actually, we are living in an era where people exert the past to guide them before making decisions. In the field of politics, politicians create as well as carry out policies referring to formers to try their best to avoid similar failures, thus bring about prosperity. In the field of economy, researches on economic phenomena are launched to find out new laws, and provide theoretical support for government to make decisions. In the field of military science, leaders research the famous battles and military book when making aggressive strategies. A good example is the theme of Improve the State of the World in the World Economic Forum (WEF) Annual Meeting in Davos, Switzerland in January, 2010: Rethink, Redesign, Rebuild. Obviously, the first one is “rethink.” Rethink what? Rethink the past. Rethink the financial crisis that has not yet passed by, rethink the triggers of the crisis, rethink the essential causes, rethink the world, rethink ourselves, and rethink the history. They are the premise of “redesign” and “rebuild.” Only when we slow down our fast steps and look back to the road we have walked on can we recognize what we gain as well as lose that guide our living at present and in the future.

In sum, from the points of disciplines of development and humanity, we are able to understand the world and history more comprehensively, which guide us from what we get by studying the past. It is of great significance because today will turn into yesterday and we should grow from it. Fortunately, we are doing so.