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turnpUID: 2776787

turnp
When it comes to the definetion of arts, we can find the answer in the Oxford dictonary: art is the use of painting,drawing,sculpture etc to represent things or express ideas.It is quite obvious that, in accordance with this conception , the fuction of art is easily acquired. We human beings always tend to convey our thoughts and ideas which cannot be accepted or even forbidden by the recent society because of political reasons or prevalent cultural values etc by means of all kind of arts. Given this cognition, I’m convinced that the arts (painting,music,literature,etc) definitely reveal the otherwise hidden and impulse of a society as the following aspects.
Artissts, producers of arts, often have a perpective beyond the range of ordinary people. As the result of observing the world meticulously and insightfully, they are able to cater for the potential needs people are not aware of at first place; with fabulous imgination and special aethesis,  they can see from a higher stance to discover the trend of the world ahead of others.  Take the science ficton, a kind of novel , for example, we can see that a great deal of facilities depicted in fiction books which seemed radical or rediculous at that time eventually become reality in a few decades. “Chang’e goes straight into the moon” is a beatuful legend which is well known by all chinese , at that time , the ancient people took going to the moon as an amazing but unrealistic dream, however, moon landing is a piece of cake in present-day society. And there are many other novels just like this uncover the hidden ideas and impulses, likewise, who can guarantee that the plot ET take home away from human being on earth is just a nightmare existed merely in the movie Avantar several years later?
Painting and music tend to represent the feeling of people to their life, such as hope,happiness,meditation etc,which is hidden in the heart of human being commonly and sometimes beyond expressions. In the 1980s, china just suffered from cultural revolution , finally began to establish its concentration on economic development and open its door to the outside world. At that time, chinese people are too conservative to show their own personality and almost have no idea about the outside world. In the year of 1989, a painting of several half-nude grils playing in a river was hanged in the lounge of Beijing airport, which draw substantial attention all over the country and revealed the potential impluse of that generation as well----- the tremendous desire for unstrained aesthesis.
In sum,the arts are extremely important in human history,they are the production of people’s heart and emotion while they reflect people’s ideas and the impetus of the society.Besides,the arts have so strong power that it can lead a revolution or sharpen the collision in the society.However,other factors like value system or religion should be taken into consideration if we try to figure out people’s attitude or motivation.So on balance,we should make full use of the function of the arts while pay attention to other factors.Only in this way can we judge people’s mind and the impetus of the society thoroughly.

tyfytjUID: 2456129

#38 白马多多

Argument25

In the argument, the arguer arrives at conclusion that to build a golf course and resort buildings similar to thoses(those后面不要s) in Ocean View can improve Hopewell's economy and add its tax revenues. In support of this conclusion, the arguer cites that Ocean View gets huge finacial benifits from built(语法) the courses and resort hotels which attracting(还是语法，这里是谓语吧，要么which不要了) tourists to travel to the town. Although the conclusion seems to be somewhat plausible, a careful examination would show that it goes wrong. (第一段还可以，感觉语言可以再提高一点)

The first problem with the argument is that the arguer assumes that the increasing of Ocean View's tax revenues is the results of buliding a golf course and hotel. But I think the arguer does not supply convincing evidence to support the assumption. To illustrate this point, I have to argue that  too many reasons(factors) could lead to the rising of the town's tax revenues, such as the inflation the nation's economic growth or(and好一点) the increasing of the population of the town. If the town encounters the inflation,maybe the factual tax revenues are lower than before, even it seems that the tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. So, I can hardly be convinced by the arguer with insufficient evidence, so it is illogical to reach such conclusion. (这是主要逻辑错误，可以展开再多写点，比如税收增加不一定是经济好的表现)

The second problem with argument is that the arguer does not provide the previous the amount of town's tax revenues two years ago. The number of 30 percent is so loosely that We couldn't get the conclusion that the town's economy is better than before. For instance,  Two years ago, the total amount of the town's tax revenues was very small, so later, even though the tax revenues has risn (by)30 percent, it couldn't reflect that the town's economy have(has) been prosperous. So, I can hardly be convinced by the arguer with insufficient evidence, it is illogical to reach the conclusion that town of Hopewell will have a better economy. (这一段的论点没有上面强烈，但是能成立)

Last but no the least, even if we accept all the foregoing conditions, the arguer just simply assumes that  Hopeweill will be brought lots of benefits if it develops same things like Ocean View built. An appropriate example is not very difficult to seek, the environment of Hopewell is very different from Ocean View, maybe it locates in the desert. The tourists would not like to travel such town to play the golf and then the business in the town couldn’t meet their ends, even the town constructs a better resort building than the other town. SO it is unreasonable for arguer to bolster the recommendation. (比喻沙漠有点牵强吧，这个城镇的海景还是适合旅游的)

To sum up, the argument is unconvincing and doubtful because the evidence cited in the argument doesn't strongly support to what the argue concludes. Therefore, if the arguer could demonstrate the information completely and persuasively, the argument would be more logical and substantial. Obviously, the arguer failed to do it. (总结段语言很好，思路也清晰)

我第一次改文章，有误的地方请谅解

lynnuanaUID: 2772328

47# turnp

[url=]When it comes to the definition of arts, we can find the answer inthe Oxford dictonary: art is the use of painting,drawing[/url]（其中一个词可以换别的呼应issue topic）,sculptureetc to represent things or express ideas.[a1]It is quite（这种主观词开头结尾考官特别注意的地方我觉得尽量少用）obvious that, in accordance with this conception , the function ofart is easily [url=]acquired[/url][a2]. We humanbeings（human beings 似乎常用于自然、生物类文章中，艺术社会政治经济文章用的比较少）always tend to convey our thoughtsand ideas which cannot always be accepted or even forbidden by the recentsociety---because of political reasons orprevalent cultural values etc--- by means of allkind of arts. Given this cognition, I’m convinced that the arts (painting, music,literature, etc) definitely reveal the otherwise hidden and impulse of asociety as the following aspects.

Artists, producers of arts, often have a perspective beyond the range ofordinary people. As the result of observing the world meticulously andinsightfully, they are able to cater for the potential needs people are notaware of at first place; with fabulous imagination and special aesthesis, theycan see from a higher stance to discover the trend of the world ahead ofothers.  Take the science fiction, a kind of novel, for example. Wecan see that great deals of facilities are depictedin the books which seemed radical or ridiculous at that time eventuallybecome reality after a few decades. “Chang’egoes straight into the moon” is a beautiful legend which is well known by all(most of，绝对的词) Chinese . at that time(重复词) , the ancientpeople took going to the moon as an amazing（impossibilities）.but
[url=]unrealistic dream, however, moon landing isa piece of cake in present-day society.[/url][a3]And there are many other such novelsjust like this consideruncovering the hidden ideas and impulses in such novels , likewise, who can guaranteethat the plot(?) ET take home away from humanbeing on earth is just a nightmare existedingmerely in the movie Avantar several years later?(这句有些乱，觉得需要变长句为短句)

Painting and music tend to represent the feeling（emotion） of people to（about） their life, such as hope, happiness, meditationetc, which is hidden in the heart of human being commonly and sometimes beyondexpressions. In the 1980s, China just suffered from [url=]cultural revolution[/url][a4]
, [url=]finallybegan to establish its concentration on economic development and open its doorto the outside world.[/url][a5]At that time, Chinese people then are too conservative to show their ownpersonality and almost have no idea about the outside world. In the year of1989, a painting of several half-nude girls playing in a river was hanged（exhibited） inthe lounge of Beijing airport, which draw substantial attention all over thecountry and revealed the potential impulse of that generation as well----- thetremendous desire for unstrained aesthesis.

In sum, the arts are extremely important in human history, they are theproduction of（from）people’s heart and emotion while they reflect people’s ideas andthe impetus of the society. Besides, the arts have so strong power thatit which can lead（cause）arevolution or even sharpen the collision in the society. [url=]However, other factors like value system orreligion should be taken into consideration if we try to figure out people’sattitude or motivation.[/url][a6][url=]Soon balance, we should make full use of the function of the arts while payattention to other factors.[/url][a7]Only in this way can we judge
people’s mind and the impetus of the society（好像只改写了一半issue topic） thoroughly（太绝对的词）.


[a1]As defined in the Oxford dictionary，art is the use ofpainting, drawing, sculpture etc to represent things or express ideas.
[a2]看了几遍这句话，没看懂
[a3]However, moon landing has never been an unrealistic dream inpresent-day society.
[a4]adecade of cultural turmoil ---suffer 后面接负态度词
[a5]这句话建议在本段最后说，有一个层次变化
[a6]这句在上文似乎没有呼应？
[a7]这句是上句的引申，只是可惜文中没有相呼应的分论点

格式乱了，具体可看邮件。

白马多多UID: 2560385

131."The arts (painting, music, literature, etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society

The speaker claims that the arts reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society, is this true? Admittedly, most famous acts have the function to expose s spirit and the soul of a society. However, there are so many great arts which just reflecting a author’s personal interests. My opinion can be greatly substantiated by the following discussions.

First and foremost, there is no denying the fact that too many great work of arts have a common characteristic to reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society, such as the famous painting “American Gothic”, Beethoven's "Fifth symphony " ,Mark Twain’s fictions and so forth. A better case in point is best provided by some works of pop music composed by Michael Jackson,who is king of pop and great philanthropist.
He wrote the famous songs ,” we are the world” “ they don’t care about us” “earth song” to go against the discrimination and to heal the world. His works usually have profound meaning to reveal ideas of peace and to fill the world with love. So, the great acts can impulse a society and bring a lot of benefit to a society.

Despite the merits of the speaker’s claim, however, I have to say that there are also lots of acts only meeting to the aesthetics. They usually don’t have profond meaning about serious problems of moral, race, laws. The act history abounds with the examples of great acts which give us enjoyments of beauty, mystery and love feeling. For instance, Leonardo da Vinci”Mona Lisa”, one of the most famous paintings in the act history, brings us tremendous satisfactory of esthetics and attract innumerable people travelling to France to appreciate it every year. Therefore,like this kinds of paintings, not all works of act would reveal the profound ideas about society.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, “There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people’s eyes.” To one work of act, different people may have different views due to their distinctive culture, experience. I can think of no better illustraion of the point than the example of Lobsters, painted by Qi Baishi,who is one of the most celebrated modern painters in China. Many people said “these lobsters are so vivic and lovely”after saw this noted painting. However, other persons said “they are the representation of people who lived in china” . Accordingly, it is ridiculous that all of acts have a function that reaveling the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society.


In summary, due to the reasons dicussed above, I can safely conclude that different kinds of acts have various significance and peole will acquire distinctive meaning from the acts.

写到后来感觉偏题了，不过这道题目到底应该是什么样的思路，还是没搞清楚。
还有就是 我的word 没有拼写检查功能，每次写完我的自己检查过几遍，不过总有写小错误自己发现不了。抱歉对批改队员带来了不必要的麻烦

白马多多UID: 2560385

改tifytj #44

ISSUE131

It is no doubt in the new era, we have an enormous require( requirement？) of arts for our civilized society and fast developing technology. While the speaker asserts that arts such as literature, painting, music appeal the ideas and impulses hidden in the otherwise side of a society, I concede it to some extent for the reason that some certain arts which are related to local culture and society closely, such as music, literature, always remind people of what they ignore. However, from my point of view, some other arts don’t have that function. For instance, painting is a display of the artists’ own thoughts and personalities and architecture is a reflection to the demand of living environment.(这句话有两个 is，不知道这是复杂句式还是写错了) （开头不错，交待大背景，给出自己的观点）

As it is known to all, art is quite different from basic techniques, as mechanism and chemistry which need rational research and calm analysis. Art is something perceptual and subtle, and it shows what people think about others, the society or the world from the bottom of their heart. With the（删） more and more advanced science technology, convenient living environment as well as higher life quality, art
plays a much more important role in people’s
（删？）modern society, but does art show the hidden ideas or close ones of the society?（这段挺好，用词非常好，感觉你词汇量挺多）

There is a saying, ”art comes from life” which present the relation of art and life. In this way, artists’ work（works）might be closely related to society and embody the local specialties. Because of the more inborn gift than others, artists can creat new forms of their fields and reveal hidden sides of society, which people neglect before. （我能理解你这的意思，但是总感觉有点怪怪的，对于有些有疑问的句子，最好拿到小组里大家讨论一下）There are two examples about music and literature. Nowadays, rap and hip-hop, as the most popular music styles, has formed a storm all over the world, which stands for the culture of negros （这词严重贬义，改作文的要是个黑人的话，你拿不到高分了，嘿）in America and before this few people realize the perfect rhythm sensation of them especially being represnted（represented） by Jay-Z, Keane West and so forth. The other example is about literature, The masterpiece by Victor Hugo, Les Misérables, told us the suffering life of people from the bottom of that society in the beginning of the 19th century which was not （not？加了not 意思不对了吧？）revealed in the control of autarchy. （最后段加个小的总结句，才完整，范文里大部分都有总结的）

As the kinds of arts are so various that other arts have not such functions mentioned above, a lot of arts mainly express the artists’ own genius intellect and their personalities. Painting is such kind of art that lies on the artist’s individuality, just like Picasso whose works present his superb personal brushwork and skill noticeably. Nevertheless, another art called architecture is a typical kind that develop（中式英语） with the demands of society and the quality of living.（这段不完整，最后怎么没例子支持你的论点，感觉才写了一半）

In sum, I fundamentally agree with the speaker’s assertion, but he unfairly generalizes the functions of the arts. In my opinion, it is exact that the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses are revealed by certain arts including music and literature, other ones desided (decided?)by artists’ genius like painting, and more, others are determined by people’s life and development of society like architecture.
我英语基础比较差，语法可能会改错了。不要介意。
前面写的挺好，你是限时写的吗？ 最后第二段不完整，而且建议你每段最后也加个中心句来总结下。

tyfytjUID: 2456129

argument 我第一次写。。。惭愧。。。先发上来吧。。。

Argument 150

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the decline in the numbers of amphibians worldwide is due to the global pollution of water and air. To support the conclusion, the arguer raises two studies about amphibians in Yosemite National Park in California. In addition, the arguer reasons that the introduction of trout caused the decline of amphibians in Yosemite and denies that is the real reason for the Yosemite decline because that is not applicable to the whole world situation. From my point view, the argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

First, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the global pollution of water and air and the decline in the numbers of amphibians worldwide. While the decline in the numbers of amphibians is to some extent caused by the pollution of water and air, there are more factors causing it also such as changeable climate, over-industrialized city, lack of protection of amphibians. In spite of so many factors, the arguer fails to figure out how the water and air were polluted and how the pollution leads to the decline in the numbers of amphibians in the world, so we cannot conclude the pollution of water and air is the main cause resulting to the decreasing of amphibians.

Second, the arguer makes a false analogy between Yosemite National Park and the whole world. The decreasing numbers of species of amphibians in Yosemite National Park have not direct relation with the numbers of those worldwide, because the environment for amphibians’ living is quite different from that in other places. The global data of something can not be presented by that of a certain place, I think.

In addition, the arguer fails to rule out the possibility that the introduction of trout has caused the decline in amphibian population in Yosemite National Park. Since the arguer tries to convince others that trout are not one cause of the decline of amphibians in Yosemite National Park as well as all over the world, he should illustrate that trout are not the killers to amphibians. However, the introduction of trout, mentioned in the argument, seems to be the main cause towards the decline of amphibians in Yosemite National Park.

As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer should have to demonstrate that the global pollution of water and air has a causal relationship with the decline in the numbers of amphibians worldwide and point out that it is suitable not only in one place but also in all the world. Additionally, the arguer must provide evidence to rule out the possibility that the introduction of trout caused the decline in amphibian population.
--汤

lynnuanaUID: 2772328

Argument150.
The following is a letter to the editor of an environmental magazine.
"The decline in the numbers of amphibians worldwide clearly indicates the global pollution of water and air. Two studies of amphibians in Yosemite National Park in California confirm my conclusion. In 1915 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 1992 there were only four species of amphibians observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. The decline in Yosemite has been blamed on the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1920 (trout are known to eat amphibian eggs). But the introduction of trout cannot be the real reason for the Yosemite decline because it does not explain the worldwide decline."


Does the decline in the numbers ofamphibians worldwide represent the global pollution of water and air? The arguer claims so in the letter, with the evidences of two studies of amphibiansin a national park—Yosemite in California. Meanwhile, he refutes to ascribe theplunge of amphibians in Yosemite to the introduction of trout. In his view, the threat of trout, because it fails to explain the worldwide decline, could notbe the real reason for amphibians decline in Yosemite. However, with manifestly unfounded grounds and perplexing statement，this argument seemscompletely untenable.

First of all, the author asserts two studies of amphibians in Yosemite to prove that worldwide amphibians decline reflects the global pollution of water.Unfortunately, the absent of the significant details in the two studies make his assertion unconvincing. How do the scientists conduct the studies? Are the two studies only towards the number of amphibians? Or are the samples of theanimals healthy and representative? The less information the author provides,the less reliable his conclusion is； let alone no information offered.

Second, the reasons of the descent in the numbers of amphibians are various.Pollution of water and air may be an important, but not the only one aspect.Perhaps these amphibians were moved from other lands which are totally different from Yosemite Park in environment. If so, habitat loss would resultin gradual extinction of the animals. Or perhaps some external causes like infectious disease, drought and war in California have ever killed most of the amphibians. Moreover, perhaps these species are under the biologic evolution.In this process, from the year 1915 to 1992, some species lost their lives while the fittest survived. Without considering these factors, the author cannot conclude that only water and air pollution should be responsible for thedecline of amphibians in Yosemite.

Third, the claim that the introduction of trout would be the real reason for the Yosemite decline still needs to be investigated. On one hand, No evidence reveals whether the number of the trout is increasing or not. If the trout in the water are also declining, then we have every reason to believe that the water must have been polluted. On the other hand, it is highly possible that the trout have lost the ability of predation and eventually lost the interestin eating amphibian eggs; because in most of park, the predators and preys are always fed separately.

Finally, even if that pollution caused Yosemite’s amphibian decline is true,the single sample is inefficient to confirm the author’s conclusion in the first sentence. Yosemite cannot represent the whole world. To strengthen hisargument, he must provide additional samples from diverse geography regions inthe world. Otherwise, no one would accept such a groundless viewpoint.

Numbers of species are in danger of extinction in every moment. I appreciate the author’s concern about the decline in the numbers of amphibians, yet his statement on the reasons of the decreasing is incomprehensive and even confusing. Such an analysis would mislead the public opinion and to some extent, accelerate loss of species of amphibians if put into practice.

--lynn 4.5

update

汤：“(不是很明白作者这一段的立场是什么，原文里是否认鳟鱼的引进是两栖动物减少----but the introduction of trout cannot be the real reason for the Yosemite decline…，但为什说the claim that the introduction of trout would be the real reason for the Yosemite decline still needs to be investigated？这样看起来好像原文是肯定鳟鱼的引进是造成两栖动物减少的真正原因了)”

lynn：你提的很对，我改了下:
Third, the claim that the introduction of trout would be the real reason for the Yosemite decline still needs to be investigated. On one hand, no evidence reveals whether the number of the trout are increasing or not. If the number of trout in the water has been growing while comparatively, that of amphibians has been declining since 1920, then we have every reason to believe that the throut are highly suspected for the descent in the park. On the other hand, it is very possible that the trout only eat the eggs of certain species of the amphibians, which is likely to be the reason that only four species left in Yosemite. Since no clue has been given on these aspects, the conclution the author makes is still open to doubt.




：00update

zhusichao88UID: 2786754

楼主加我吧，4月22号考，刚写了十篇左右的issue...qq 490990557

dfly_zxUID: 2643573

The argument is not cogent because the author makes a hasty generation that the situation in Yosemite National Park can be representative of the general situation around the world. The author unfairly concludes that the global pollution of water and air should be responsible for the decline in the numbers of amphibians both in Yosemite National Park and around the world. The conclusion is unconvincing for the following reasons.

Firstly, the author assumes that the decline in Yosemite could only be resulted from two factors, that is, the introduction of trout and the pollution of water and air. However, the author fails to consider other possibilities. It could be the case that hunting for amphibians has increased during year 1915 to 1992 which could lead to a declination of the numbers and species. It is also possible that during these decades, animals in Yosemite suffered from disasters such as unexpected flood, long lasting drought, etc. Admittedly, these extreme climates could even induce to extinguish of the animals. The fact that the author provides no evidence to rule out these and other possibilities renders the argument ungrounded.
Even if we accept that trout and pollution are the only reasons bringing about the consequence. The second underlying assumption that the decline of amphibians could not be a result of both the introduction of trout and pollution is also unacceptable without an explanation. It is possible that the introduction of trout is the main parameter while the water and air condition may not change much around Yosemite during the years. What is more, it could also be possible that trout is the only reason responsible for the decline while the environment in Yosemite National Park was well protected by the government and the residents.
In addition, the author commits a fallacy of hasty generation. Even if we concede that the decline of amphibians in Yosemite was only caused by the pollution, it does not necessarily indicate that pollution bring about the decline worldwide for that the single example is rarely sufficient for the generalization. Yosemite could be a park exist some special conditions different from most parks around the world. If governors and the administrators did not adopt sufficient measures to keep the environment clean and safe while tourism to the park lead to a worse living conditions for the animals, a possible consequence could be a decline of the numbers and species of amphibians. At the same time, conditions for amphibians around the world may be better than Yosemite while they suffered a lot from the attack by the natural enemy that make a similar consequence. The argument is not cogent unless the author provides evidence to analysis the above-mentioned critical assumptions.
In sum, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. More precise evidences, such as more specific surveys in more parks, comparison of different conditions for different places, and so forth, need to be accumulated to make a general conclusion.

turnpUID: 2776787

turnp
In this argument, the arguer conclude that it is the pollution of water and air rather than other causes attributes to the decline in the number of amphibians worldwide. And therefore the reduction of amphibians in both numbers and species in Yosemite is due to the same reason instead of the introduction of trout in the park's waters. However, the arguer is unable to provide any cogent evidence to support his assertion and there are several fallacies can be found as follows.
   In the first place, the whole argument is based on the consumption that the number of amphibians all over the world has been decreased. Unfortunately, no such pertinent statistics or data can be found in this argument. Naturally, we can presume that the conclusion is fallacious when its premise is still uncertain.   At the even worse, this unconvincing conclusion is used to explain for the case happened in Yosemite, which makes this argument completely groundless.
In the second place, assume that the number of amphibians worldwide is definitely in decline, the arguer is, however, failing to consider other possible alternatives to the reduction of amphibians except water and air pollution. Such alternatives may include the fact that there are more and more amphibians become a delicious dish on the table for people's growing unwholesome appetite. For instance, in china, nowadays, frog, which is a typical kind of amphibians well known for containing lots of protein, are considered to be very nutritious and therefore become popular in restaurants. It is possible that the serious globe warming substantially jeopardizes the living environment of amphibians as well. Thus, it is too arbitrary for the arguer to make conclusions without any supportive evidence.
  Furthermore, the arguer commits a severe logical flaw in assuming that the reason in decline worldwide and the reason in decline in Yosemite is the same regardless of the Yosemite specificity. When it comes to the possible cause of the reduction in Yosemite, say, be it the introduction of trout into the park's waters, the author denys it without any compelling evidence. As far as I concerned, it might perhaps be a legitimate explanation for the decline in Yosemite. After all, trout are known for preying on amphibians’ eggs and they have been introduced into the park for almost 70 years in Yosemite, which can indeed cause an immense reduction of amphibians as long as the number of trout is large enough.
To sum up, this argument is rather weak in lacking of conclusive evidence and logical consecution. In order to make it more acceptable, more studies should be made to reinforce and substantiate the conclusion.
----turnp 4.5

dfly_zxUID: 2643573

The conclusion endorsed in this argument is that the global pollution of water and air leads to the decline of the number of amphibians, and several evidences are offered in support of this conclusion. On the one hand, the author provided the statistics in the argument which seemingly show the pollution and its serious result. On the other, to make his reason rigorous he excluded the possibility that it is the trout that give rise to the declined number（个人感觉题目里面对这点我们应该持否定态度，本来作者就是否定这个可能性，只是提了一下）. However, as discussed blow, the argument suffered from several flaws and is therefore unpersuasive.

First of all, while the author fails to take into account other factors impinging on the same result, the two studies in the argument fail to support the conclusion.  The reduction of the species may not be resulted by the affection of the environment but the man-made migration, and the loss of the species of amphibians could be absolutely(虽然前面有could be都还是少使用或不用absolutely这种绝对的词) due to the relatively illness competent-ability when confronting the other four(指代不明). Even if the reason that the author mentioned is truly the reason that gives rise to the reduction, it can not be just only one.(Even if we accept that the reason asserted by the author is tenable, there can be other factors inducing the result.) Besides, the author irrationally took the term “four species of amphibians observed” as “there were only four living”. After all, not to be observed does not mean the disappearance(extinguishment).

Secondly, the procedure of the studies is not concrete enough so that the conclusion is far from certainty. For supporting example(不要supporting感觉好些), perhaps, the declination of the number of amphibians can be due to the human behaviors like a large scale of capture; perhaps, there not exists the reduction which is due to the studies’ mistakes;(循环论证？和第二段里的论据属于一类的) perhaps, it is because of the overproduction in 1915 when the number of the amphibians is in its highest point that attributed to the gradual reduction in the next decades(感觉这理由有点牵强，不合适). What’s more, the term “abundant” and “drastically reduced” is too vague to be statistically meaningful. In this case, the decrease is just a relative concept(学习一下，有道理，新概念~), and the conclusion based on the incomplete information.

Last but not least, the exclusion in the end of the argument is highly doubted. It is ungrounded to analogy between the decline in the park as an individual and that in the world as a whole. While the eco-system is likely to lead to the worldwide decline, the case in the park can be just attributed to the temporary activity and construction that lead to the temporary change during the studies.

In short, unless he provided further and concrete information about the studies, it is mistaken and unreasonable for the author to assert his conclusion.有框架，论证方面不错，但还要继续加强论点论证的能力，个人看法，欢迎讨论指正~

71crystalUID: 2527564

我4.21AW，目前写了大概写了15篇argue，8篇issue，QQ545022500
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贴一下我的argue和issue，恳请批改，谢谢~
argue 14 The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.
“There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring.”

Merely based on unwarranted assumption and dubious evidence, the speaker of the memo claim that the people in Green Thumb Gardening Center should sell the vegetable seeds they stock to the gardeners to make more profits. To strengthen the argument, the speaker cites the results from a national survey, which shows that many gardeners were not satisfied with fresh seeds in supermarkets. And the local magazines had been sold out in a row. At first glance, the recommendation seems founded, nevertheless, it relies on a series unsubstantiated assumption which is unconvincing as it stands.
Firstly, one problem with the argument is that it assumes that the nationwide survey about the gardeners’ attitude about the vegetable seeds applies equally to a relatively small area, such as a town or a village. Yet this might not be the case, for a variety of possible reasons. Perhaps the local gardeners are used to buy seeds from supermarkets, and they believe that the seeds from any other companies or gardening center are not fresh enough. Or perhaps the nation survey were conducted through the gardeners who never buy ones from supermarkets before, and then they dissatisfied with the quality there. Without ruling out such possibilities, the speaker cannot justifiably conclude that the Green Thumb Gardening Center should provide seeds to local gardeners as well.
Secondly, the argument assumes too hastily that the sold out of gardening magazine will necessarily result in the behavior that the argument predicts. Perhaps, the buyers are not gardeners, and they buy magazines just for interesting and not aim to get information about how to plant vegetable seeds. Moreover, we have no evidence to show the content of the magazine, it is absolutely false to assert from the title of the magazine to tell that it is about how to planting and inside shows the method of seeding.
Finally, the speaker claims that we will expand the variety of vegetable seeds this coming spring. The author assumes without justification that background conditions have remained the same at different time. The assumption is unwarranted because things rarely keep the same over expand periods of time. There are likely all kinds of difference between this year and the coming year. We can not sure that the production will be fine in the coming spring. For instance, the weather of last year is so well for seeds growing, and it has large amount of seeds this year. However, the weather this winter may extremely cold, and the seeds may not in a good harvest. Any of these possibilities, if true, would serve to undermine the claim that we will expand different kinds of seeds for gardeners this coming spring.
In Sum, the speaker’s claim does not warrant his conclusion. To strengthen this argument, he or she also needs to provide clear evidence-perhaps from widely survey- that the nationwide survey is representative of the each individual, especially every village. And the speaker should show us more clearly that the sell condition about the magazine can indicate that the buyers aim to get knowledge about planting seeds not for fun. In order to better evaluate the argument, I need more information to ensure that the Green Thumb Gardening Center can of course provide variety of vegetable seeds this coming spring just like ever before.

71crystalUID: 2527564

issue 208
“The best way to teach—whether as an educator, employer, or parent—is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones.”

In this age of competition for talents, the quality of person is increasingly significant in society, therefore education which aims to improve one’s personal quality is taken seriously. Larger amount of people try to gain the access to enter college or university and parents all have desires to make their children more comprehensive in education. However, more and more different voices about what is the best way to educate come out during the recent decades. Should the educators or parents speak highly of their students or child always? Is it necessary to blame the ones who receive education for their faults? As far as I am concerned, adopting an alternative method is far more important. So we should combine appropriate admiration with timely critique actually.
   Admittedly, German poet and dramatist Johan Wolfgang Goethe ever said “Man errs so long as he strives.” This famous remark indicates the fact that negative aspects actually cannot be avoid in education. We should sometimes ignore the drawbacks or passive effects, because we need confidence in fighting, and care the dark side too much will no doubt reduce our enthusiasm in pursuitting the goals. A recent survey taken by CRIS (China Research Institute for Society) shows that about 89.76% of the success ever ignored the failure in their study or career, This result, to some extent, magnifies the importance of disregarding negative effects.
Notwithstanding, it is not wise to take the passive parts out of ourselves completely. A person who cannot face up to the disadvantages which stand in the way of his or her success can hardly be a talent the society wants. It is easy for the one to loss oneself since ignoring negative sides. Taking the competition in education as an example, we can , of course, simply regard the failure in competition as a negative action. To encourage competitiveness among students, national education system, on a large scale, adopt the scholarships as the stimulant. It is known to the public that some students can obtain this praise, but others nor. Considering the parents, whose child lose the opportunity to get the scholarship does not regard this as a event, and take a laissez-faire attitude towards their child. They fail to provide a constructive suggestion and thus their child cannot get improvement of personality. As educators, employers or even parents, the best way to educate is make the educatee recognize the significance of accepting various kinds of results, includes punishment, criticism even injustice. They should be told “Success covers a multitude of blunders”, which from George Bernard Shaw, the British Dramatist.
Further more, not only the critique, but also praises is critical for educatees. Praises for positive actions confirm the rightness of the educatee’s behaviors, making them feel honorable and pleased in their group. Consequently, they have more confidence to continue these behaviors and moreover have a stronger desire to do better to gain more praises. It is a kind of positive stimulant to encourage them to pursuit a higher level. Additionally, those who don’t gain praises are more likely to spontaneously behave more activity and treat those being praised by teachers, employers or parents.
Generally speaking, it is advisable to neither simply renders praises nor only provides critiques to educatees. The best way to educate is cooking both of them mix up, and only in this way can we taste the perfect dishes resulted from intelligent education.

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