jjooyy的作文贴

jjooyyUID: 2704028

1 托福作文没有什么有效字数的，写多少，就是多少有效，我这篇只有359，我还觉得不够呢，原则上来说是越多越好的
2 上面说到我打这篇文章多出了3分钟，中间被打断一分钟，开头有点慢，相信再写熟一点，肯定够时间的
3 乱码可以用 退格键 删去啊， 颜色的话，发帖的工具栏上面第二个是可以调颜色的，选中字，然后选颜色就可以了
5 另外，你画下划线的句子是什么意思？

dy008UID: 2284812

结构不错

chenrubingUID: 2856741

Although many of those who tend to keeptheir rooms tidy would succeed in their lives, it also happens to thosestudents who do not like their room clean and organized. From my perspective,there are actually little connection betweenbeing clean and being successful.   

As a matter of fact, people whoare inclined to keep their staff organized might success, due to their goodhabits. Classifying things and putting them to places where they ought to becould improve the efficiency of finding documents, clothes and so forth. Ifone works as an accountant, a secretary or alibrarian, which requires a huge amount of time to organizing, classifying andsearching for data, documents and books, （我的意思是这样的对应表达是否是有效的呢？我觉得不太通顺）he who tends to keep their personalstaff in order is more likely to success, since he is born to be organized.
; w( T! W& L! ~3 n+ i1



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However, the quality of keeping rooms clean and tidy could notbe helpful to people who do not need to be well-organized to success. Forinstance, as a football player, what one need is just to keep strong and skillful. And for him, the role as a owner of a untidyhouse has nothing to
do with his victory or defeat. It is just his hygene habit, whichis simply a tinypart of hispersonal life.:

In addition, those who accomplish theirgoals and happento haveorganized rooms might succeed mainly from their other important qualities. Whatdecides one to win or lose is the qualities that are really vital.（这句话意思不太明白） A successful manager would bea wonderful illustration. He sees the big picture, inspires employees, andmakes up mistakes immediately in order to win profits. At last, he achieves thegoal. so, how could his accomplishmentbe attributed to his habit of being clean and organized in his personal life?Obviously, it is his quality of being an excellent leader that matters.

In sum, some people could success in special jobs because of theirhabit of keeping their rooms organized and tidy, while others do not need it tosucceed. On theother hand, except from one’s ability to keep his/her room clean , otherqualities like leadership and confidence are more crucial for success.（这是我改的）

jjooyyUID: 2704028

Sports are favored not only because they could physically exercise people's bodies, but also they would mentally instruct people. They teach one to be confident, teamwork and the attitude towards victory and defeat. With these qualities, one could succeed in other aspects as well.

To begin with, sports teach one to acquire confidence in order to win a game. In other words, if one could not have faith in his/her victory, how could s/he make it at last? Without the belief, the motivation to win is weakened and the performance is far away to satisfactory. For instance, if a ping-pong player is confident enough to win, then s/he may not lose the change of winning, and therefore regain more confidence later. Even if s/he does not manage to seize the opportunity, at least he would have faith that s/he once had a chance to win.

Except confidence, teamwork is another crucial thing sports instruct. Only through playing with others cooperatively could a team taste trimph finally, because usually, those who cooperate more easily and willingly would win for their teamwork. Football is one of the most representitive examples. Eleven players should defend and attack as one. They should fulfill their tasks for the team's strategy and assist teammates to finish theirs at every second on the field.

Last but not the least, as there always exist victories and defeats, the attitude towards them is also the lesson which could learn from sports. Enjoying the games win and cherish games losen is one thing, trying one's best to forget what is done and moving forward to another match is another thing. Unless the match is the last one in one's life, after some time to relax and refresh, one has to adjust himself or herself to another games. Otherwise, s/he may fail to win later.

To summary, faith in victories, cooperation and how to deal with winning and losing games and so forth are the lessons sports could teach.

tautou-fanUID: 2510013

我觉得你写的很好，句子也很老道，我把它放在word里了
就是有几个地方我没看懂，不知能否告诉我一下，嘻嘻

7.24JJOOYY的sports修改by饭套头.doc (31 KB, 下载次数: 9)

2010-7-25 16:36:21 上传

下载次数: 9

jjooyyUID: 2704028

楼上的这样说，我压力很大啊。。。我自己表达的不清楚。。
具体解释在word里面，其实我就是有写作文或者说话，大家都听不懂的习惯- -||

againproUID: 2723437

厄，我语法确实烂到家了，多谢您的修改，附件是一些个人观点，多多指教

jjooyyUID: 2704028

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits

Although television commercial advertisements have led to some unhealthy habit, it is not ads that mainly contribute to the increasingly popular unhealthy lifestyle. Instead, our lifestyle and science have the responsibility.

Admittedly, the fact that a large amount of people get used to viewing ads and unconsciously buy some junk food they commend extensively exists. Nowadays, advertisements are penetrating into our lives that we almost see them every hour when we are awake. When we turn on televisions, ads are between programs; when we drive on the road, we may see more ads than other information; even when we have a meal, a proper advertisement assures that you are eating the healthiest food. Gradually, we used to getting into KFC to try a new type of ice-cream, bringing all kinds of donuts home and eating them while watching television.

However, commercial advertisements may not be the reason we live unhealthy lives. The fast pace of our life forces us to save time and spend some time relaxing ourselves. Image that, after a long day with difficulties and trouble, how could one prefer taking hours to buy and to cook food, and then go to a gym later than having a pizza immediately and then watching a movie? Of course, most people would choose the latter to refresh themselves.

In addition, the development of science and technology aimed at bring about convenience should take some responsibility. If televisions had not been invented, people would have more time for family and friends getting together, chitchatting about recent news. Also, if manufacture machines were not so developed and chain shops spread so widely, we would love to cook and eat healthily. Therefore, because of the efficiency of modern technology, they save a huge amount of time and energy for us, leading to a quick, convenient and unhealthy lifestyle.

In a word, while advertisements potentially force us to buy some unhealthy products, modern lifestyle and tech drive us to live unhealthily.

杯具的字数 327 状态不好。。

crystal5841UID: 2710710

21# jjooyy

感觉好像开头的意思是广告导致了人们的不良习惯（habit, lifestyle）,没有明确指出是饮食习惯。
第三段的主题句的意思好像是说广告不是我们不良生活习惯的原因。而结尾段说广告使得我们买了一些不健康的产品。
所以总体觉得没有特别突出广告对于不良饮食习惯的影响。（其实在每一段里面还是提到了的，但是主题句好像没有反映）

jjooyyUID: 2704028

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career. -

Nowadays selecting new companies and new jobs in order to get better paid is increasingly prevalence among youngsters. However, does this phenomenon really proves that young adults should take several jobs in a row to find what they are fit for and then start a long career? From my perspective, it depends on what career one finally wants to choose.

For those who choose to do researches and work in academic fields, it might be more advisable to start up a career as soon as possible. As is universally acknowledged, researchers almost need to spend their lifelong time conducting experiments, making surveys among animals and people and finishing some meaningful studies. Supposing one graduates from university and retire normally, let's calculate the available time to achieve some accomplishments. There might be at most thirty-five years left. And if one takes other kinds of jobs after graduation, the time would be thirty years or less. Difficult as it seems for one to make some breakthrough in his or her fields.

For those who are eager to be promoted and raised to the management class, switching work could help gain experience from different jobs. Since managers are supposed to be familiar with how their departments work, as well as how to deal with various inferior employees, all kinds of work in a department would enhance one's knowledge of different jobs and experience getting along with all types of people, thus forming one's quality to be a manager. Therefore, usually those whose work experience is richer than others would be more advantageous in promotion.

Except these situations, if one may not determine what to do in the future, switching some jobs to find the proper job is also of necessity. There do exist some youngsters who are not aware of what they could do and what they are good at. For their sake, they should seek for jobs in diversity to get the answer. For instance, Liu, a successful businessman, once worked for more than ten jobs around China. And one day, he found out that he can easily communicate with others and transfer whatever information he wants to. Then he stopped changing jobs and devoted himself as a salesman. As we see finally, he successfully creates his company and manages it easily.

To summary, whether to switch jobs and then to begin a career depends on what kind of career one wants to take. One should choose to take a career immediately after graduation if s/he is willing to do academic researches, while select to switch jobs to gain enough experience to get promoted and start a career later. Whereas, if one is not clear about his or her career, he or she should attempt to find one through changing jobs.

请猛拍 时间大大超出了

nunulongUID: 2172898

你好，文章已修改，请查收！水平有限，多包涵！

tautou-fanUID: 2510013

改的晚了，不好意思
7.27 ads--修改by饭套头.doc (29.5 KB, 下载次数: 0)

2010-7-30 11:51:07 上传

下载次数: 0

tmdxlpUID: 2745223

谢谢你帮我修改···
我的水平不高，不好意思

jjooyyUID: 2704028

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country.

Although newspapers and magazines provide readers with useful information and vivid pictures, therefore enhancing their knowledge of foreign countries, traveling and other media do serve as essential roles for people to know about them. Consequently, paper materials are only one of the most crucial media for the knowledge of other parts of the world.

There is no denying that magazines and newspapers offer first-hand facts and opinions to people who are eager to acquire. They display authentic news about the situations of some global-catching incidents, show vivid photographs of astonishing scenes, and supply with authorities' and local people's attitudes towards these events. By reading and digesting these information, people can know more about countries' technology, culture and religion. One can get much more information, for instance, than s/he thinks by constantly being updated of the election of president of another country.

However, televisions and Internet also have positive influence on the ideas of other countries. With real sounds and simultaneous videos on TV, one can be more impressed of the process of incidents; with amazingly storing ability, one can count on Internet to search for whatever he or she wants. Nowadays people are more inclined than before, to find some traveling tips on Internet and to wait for news about where they are going to take a journey. It would be difficult to suppose how they would prepare for their trips if they could not turn to TVs and Internet.

In addition, a life experience in a foreign country will ultimately enrich one's knowledge about the country. What one reads on newspapers and magazines, watch at the television, and search on the Internet are totally different from what one goes through in that country by his or her own. The feelings, the experience and the impact are valuable and irreplaceable in comparison to those gained by reading and viewing. Take myself for example. I could never imaging how touched and excited I would sense when I reached to The Sydney Opera House until I arrived in Australia.

Conclusively, except magazines and newspapers, there are other indispensible resources, such as TV, Internet, travelling, for one to obtain the basic understanding of other countries.

字数不多，检查发现语法没错，40+min 慢！
这大概就是我的正常水平的作文~

zungeUID: 2660136

题目是Newspaper和Magazine，感觉本文更多在介绍其他几种媒介。而且这些媒介之间没有明显的比较句。
第三段与前面略有重复，其实可以合成一下:)
最后一段果断提醒我了这道作文题的出题意图 -_-#你把握得很好，赞一个!
第二段和第三段的一些术语看来是直接译过去的，好像都不太对...建议搜一搜词典吧:)

一起加油!