jjooyy的作文贴

tautou-fanUID：2510013

哈哈，又是我。。。。。。。。。。这回没有word那我就直接改啦

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country.) z0 o0 J1 e) v. B: T- L5 p$ s
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Although newspapers and magazines provide readers with useful information and vivid pictures, therefore enhancing their knowledge of foreign countries, traveling and other media （do）also serve as essential roles for people to （know）learn 更贴合题目 about them. Consequently, paper materials are only one of the most crucial media for the knowledge of other parts of the world.3 e/ b% E$ ]$ T

There is no denying that magazines and newspapers offer first-hand facts and opinions to people who are eager to acquire. They display authentic news about the situations of some global-catching incidents, show vivid photographs of astonishing scenes, and supply with authorities' and local people's attitudes towards these events. By reading and digesting these information, people can know more about foreign countries' technology, culture and religion. One can get much more information, for instance, than s/he thinks by constantly being updated of the election of president of another country句型很不错呢.+ o8 O# d! H& N+ L+ l* K- t
However, televisions and Internet also have positive influence on the ideas of other countries.这里你讲说电视网络也有积极的影响，如果能再把对帮助人们更好的learn about other countries' ideas有积极地影响加进去是不是更加扣住题目了呢 With real sounds and simultaneous videos on TV, one can be more impressed of the process of incidents; with amazingly storing ability, one can count on Internet to search for whatever he or she wants to learn about. Nowadays people are more inclined than before, to find some traveling tips on Internet and to wait for news这里我没看懂，求解一下，人们在网上找点旅游小贴士，然后等待他们要去旅行的地方的新闻？ about where they are going to take a journey. It would be difficult to suppose how they would prepare for their trips if they could not turn to TVs and Internet.  I0 Y; t' p1 B+ d. p9 @
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In addition, a life experience in a foreign country will ultimately enrich one's knowledge about the country. What one reads on newspapers and magazines, watch （at）on （the） televisions, and search on the Internet are totally说完全不同我觉得未免不妥，说有很多区别差异就行了吧 different from what one goes through in that country by his or her own. The feelings, the experience and the impact are valuable and irreplaceable in comparison to those gained by reading and viewing. Take myself for example. I could never imaging how touched and excited I would sense when I reached to The Sydney Opera House until I arrived in Australia. $ Q: o9 I% B( [; N' I
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Conclusively, except magazines and newspapers, there are other indispensible resources, such as TV, Internet, travelling, for one to obtain the basic understanding of other countries.
改了好几次你的作业了，感觉写的越来越好了，继续加油啊^-^

jjooyyUID：2704028

Art courses are necessary to those who are between five and ten because they not only provide improvement of the ability of art appreciation, but also the capability of hardworking and creativity.

Art courses are necessary to those who are between five and ten because they not only provide improvement of the ability of art appreciation, but also the capability of hardworking and creativity.

To begin with, by learning to create art works themselves, children would be capable of appreciation art, which is quite valuable skill. It is of certain that one should know how to find the most beautiful side of an object, how to use colors and light to demonstrate it in the same way it looks like. In other words, children have learnt how to appreciate art pieces by the time they learn to create their own works. Therefore, even if younger children may not be good at drawing, sculpture, and playing instruments, they can at least learn some art appreciation skills.

In addition, children will naturally understand hard working and fulfill it through the process of art lessons. As is universally acknowledged, great art pieces come from days and nights of hard working. In order to create a new one, younger artists have to spare no effort to practice. For instance, Leonardo Da Vinci spent thousands of hours sketching all kinds of eggs in his childhood before he obtained marvelous skills in drawing. Xianzhi Wang, a distinguished Chinese calligrapher, turned 18 vat of clean water to black, the color of ink, by washing his brush every day after practicing.

Finally, creativity is also one of the most vital elements of producing art works. Without inspiration, an excellent painting is skillful but without soul; without emotions, a euphony symphony is at best mechanical; without motivation, a vivid sculpture is only a depiction but not a creation. Only with creations could one truly accomplish wonderful art works. And through the efforts of practicing and producing art work, children can master creativity in art, as well as in future careers, which is of great significance.

To conclude, art lessons provide younger children an opportunity of art appreciation, the understanding of efforts made and creation found during the process.

才停了3天 感觉文风变了。。。

nunulongUID：2172898

您好，文章已经修改，请查收，水平有限，请包涵！

linran0108UID：2864715

32# jjooyy
Art courses are necessary to those who are between five and ten because they not only provide improvement of the ability of art appreciation, but also the capability of hardworking and creativity.4 L9 X' o! c+ q; E" k: I
总评：我觉得文章用词很不错，但是逻辑上欠一些些，看了以后觉得说服力有些些小问题。
逻辑上似乎是说，孩子对艺术有益，而且觉得不像是以孩子为中心，不过文章总体上不错。
# _% v, k, e- NArt courses are necessary to those who are between five and ten because they not only provide improvement of the ability of art appreciation, but also the capability of hardworking and creativity.% W( y, I3 y! ?/ Y" C8 Z' p: h+ m

! R* ], s1 S; x. [; a' ]+ j+ o$ l% eTo begin with, by learning to create art works themselves, children would be capable of appreciation art, which is quite valuable skill. It is of certain that one should know how to find the most beautiful side of an object, how to use colors and light to demonstrate it in the same way it looks like. In other words, children have learnt how to appreciate art pieces by the time they learn to create their own works. Therefore, even if younger children may not be good at drawing, sculpture, and playing instruments, they can at least learn some art appreciation skills.7 s9 p8 t1 ^- F+ v& s2 ~
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In addition, children will naturally understand hard working and fulfill it through the process of art lessons. As is universally acknowledged, great art pieces come from days and nights of hard working. In order to create a new one, younger artists have to spare no effort to practice. For instance, Leonardo Da Vinci spent thousands of hours sketching all kinds of eggs in his childhood before he obtained marvelous skills in drawing. Xianzhi Wang, a distinguished Chinese calligrapher, turned 18 vat of clean water to black, the color of ink, by washing his brush every day after practicing.( U" m  P7 A8 b3 N

[url=]# F2 N$ u6 h. ~: Q: a/ _[/url]Finally,[o1] creativity is also one of the most vital elements of producing art works. [url=]Without inspiration, an excellent painting is skillful but without soul; without emotions, a euphony symphony is at best mechanical; without motivation, a vivid sculpture is only a depiction but not a creation.[/url][o2] Only with creations could one truly accomplish wonderful art works. And through the efforts of practicing and producing art work, children can master creativity in art, as well as in future careers, which is of great significance.3 V+ W9 d
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To conclude, art lessons provide younger children an opportunity of art appreciation, the understanding of efforts made and creation found during the process.?' E. [url=]W[/url][o3]






[o1]觉得这一段，重点不是很对，说的是对孩子怎么样，而不应该是孩子对于艺术怎么样。



[o2]为什么我觉得这几句话像是背出来的。。不过写得很好：）



[o3]我觉得最后再加一句话表明态度，更好一些。

jjooyyUID：2704028

33分钟，上了一学期 英文的影视鉴赏的效果吗？

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries.

Although domestic films and TV series can convey interesting stories and jokes that foreigners cannot understand, mostly, films from other countries are funnier.

There is no denying that movies made by one's own country can be more understandable, therefore more interesting in some aspects. Films and programs are the products of culture, art and literature. With a full knowledge of one's own country, he or she can enjoy the implement to some related events easily; while a foreigner may not get a clue of it. For instance, the film a world without thieves is of great interest for Chinese, because of a certain amount of jokes than only can be understood in Chinese. However, most people from other countries who watch the movie in English find little fun of it.

Nevertheless, foreign films and TV programs can be much more interesting than others for their superior performance in comedy. It is comedies that can communicate with people all over the world without languages. With facial gesture, viewers know what characters feel; with actions, spectators learn how the plot goes on. Through the combination of them, one can burst into laughter regardless of the obstacle of languages. This is why silence movies, especially comedies, are still classical, and Charlie Chaplin is a distinguished actor that few can surpass him nowadays.

In addition, the advanced plot techniques also enforce movies and TV programs from other countries to be more excellent than domestic ones. While the topics of movies and TV series in my country are always about the traditional contradictions among families, friends and colleges, foreign movies are more willing to dabble to some controversial areas, such as clone, homosexuality and space exploration. The Big Bang Theory, one of my favorite TV series is a perfect illustration. I am so impressed by the jokes in physics made by scientists in the program that I not only acquire knowledge of physics, but also entertain myself by recalling them.

To conclude, foreign movies are more interesting for their plots and performance, while domestic ones sometimes amuse one because of the cultural jokes that is understandable for the native.

canoe03UID：2786666

不好意思晚了

jjooyyUID：2704028

8.11
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them+tpo1

Children are supposed to make their own decisions, so that they can better prepare themselves with future independence, and choose what they really intend to do, while sometimes parents can guide their kids to determine if they cannot make clear of situations.

It is true that children cannot figure out the best option in some situations because of a lack of experience. At that time, parents should be the ones that guide them to choose what is the most beneficial to them. Confuses always rise among complicated problems, such as which school to attend, whether and how to make up with their best friends after big fighting, and whether to give up some time to develop interests and hobbies. More importantly, it is children's nature to give up difficult things and find some fun. Only through fathers' and mothers' patient education could kids understand which option is truly advantageous.

Nevertheless, since sooner or later young citizens will grow up and determine their own future, making decisions by their own in their childhood not only provides valuable experience of selecting under one's own interests, but also enhances the development of independence. No matter whether kids make their mind after their second thoughts or not, they themselves will finally undertake the results, therefore learning a bitter or sweet lesson. Surely, the consideration of future and self-interest comes, and the independence of children develops eventually. For instance, if a boy always deals with friends and families properly without guidance, then it is no surprise that he can handle human relations effectively in the future.

Additionally, if children can opt freely, they can certainly choose what they are really inclined to do. To select by their own and to do what they intend to do leads to efficiency and effectiveness of work and study. And through the willingness and effectiveness, children can enjoy the moments as well as expect an aspiring future. My cousin is one of the most wonderful illustrations. When he determined to be a cook after graduation from high school is quite controversial and risky, but after ten years' struggling, he now has a large restaurant with some chain shops.

Therefore, although it may be advisable for some parents to guide their children in chaotic situations, determining by kids themselves is a wiser choice for their independence and interests.
时间花的太长了40min+ 中间有几句话有点雕琢。。

伊儿柠檬UID：2761139

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them+tpo1

    Children are supposed to make their own decisions,（不需要逗号） so that they can better prepare themselves with future independence, and choose what they really intend to do, while sometimes parents can guide their kids to determine if they cannot make clear of situations.

It is true that children cannot figure out the best option in some situations because of a lack of experience. At that time, parents should be the ones that guide them to choose what is the（不要THE） most beneficial to them. Confuses （confusion）always rises among complicated problems, such as which school to attend, whether and how to make up with（for） their best friends（friendship） after big fighting with friends, and whether to give up some time （这样的表述不太合适，要么就把放弃什么样的时间要说清楚，比如玩乐的时间）to develop interests and hobbies. More importantly, it is children's nature to give up difficult things and find some fun. Only through fathers' and mothers' patient education could kids understand which option is truly advantageous。

Nevertheless, since sooner or later young citizens will grow up and determine their own future, making decisions by their own in their childhood not only provides valuable experience of selecting under one's own interests, but also enhances the development of independence. No matter whether kids make their mind after their second thoughts or not, they themselves will finally undertake the results, and therefore （此处therefore是用作介词）learning a bitter or sweet lesson. Surely, the consideration of future and self-interest comes, and the independence of children develops eventually. For instance, if a boy always deals with friends and families properly without guidance, then it is no surprise that he can handle human relations effectively in the future..

Additionally, if children can opt freely, they can certainly choose what they are really inclined to do. To select （select只能做及物动词）by their own and to do what they intend to do leads to efficiency and effectiveness of work and study. And through the willingness and effectiveness, children can enjoy the moments as well as expect an aspiring future. My cousin is one of the most wonderful illustrations.When （The decision that）he determined to be a cook after graduation from high school is quite controversial and risky, but after ten years' struggling, he now has a large restaurant with some chain shops.

Therefore, although it may be advisable for some parents to guide their children in chaotic situations, determining by kids themselves is a wiser choice for their independence and interests.

1、一些语言的表达不太完整
2.有些词语我认为放在此文中不太合适，尽管是高级词汇
3、论据不够充分
4、从整个行文还有内容上看，楼主功底还是很深的。。。
加油。。。

yezi2010UID：2722638

作文已改好，请查收~不好意思，改晚了，见谅！

jjooyyUID：2704028

[url=]Although there do exist some exceptions, in most situations, making one's capability known by others is one of the most essential elements for people who expect promotion or increase of salaries.[/url]


Acceptance of one's strength and accomplishment does not matter for those whose work even does not need the acceptance of [url=]contemporary peers[/url] and the public. For an artist, a distinguished piece of work may not be recognized until decades later; for a scientist, an excellent theory can be attacked for its controversy; for a designer, an impressive design may be regarded as wield and scary. [url=]Let alone their employers and critics.[/url] However, great creations will eventually bring to recognition through passing of time, and so are their creators. For instance, Vincent Van Gogh, a famous artist, never got approval of his paintings until he passed away.

Nevertheless, if one works in companies and factories, display their ability in their work is the best way to get promoted or more salaries. In those organizations, employees are not only defined by their performances at work, but also the impressions to their boss. For those who are all diligent, the key to earlier promotion than others is to demonstrate themselves to the superior [url=]technically and thoroughly.[/url] I myself am a distinctive illustration for that. I used to study really hard and to avoid communicating with my teachers. At that time, few awards come to me. As soon as I made my efforts to talk to them, they found my attempts, and rewarded me with recognition and awards.
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In conclusion, people mostly need to display their capability to the superior for their future career, while in some cases, the acceptance from others may not count much.


第一次没有检查拼写错误就发上来 真丢脸

jjooyyUID：2704028

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for the government to spend money on art museums and concert halls than on recreational facilities such as swimming pools and playgrounds.

While recreational facilities can support themselves by attracting a huge amount of people, museums and concert halls usually need funding from government, for their vital roles in conveying and transmitting culture and art, displaying diversity and huge expenses that cannot be covered easily.

To begin with, museums and concert halls serve as an essential means for art and culture education. By exhibiting various kinds of antiques, museums display how ancestors lived and how they communicated with each other; by providing opportunities to listen to concerts, concert halls provide people with lively experience to contact with music impressively. Those artistic and cultural facilities enrich people's lives as well as enhance their knowledge gradually, while entertainment facilities only amuse the public, without further education functions.

In addition, diversity usually comes from museums and concert halls, not playgrounds and swimming pools. Cities and countries nowadays are suffering from going to the same end. No matter it is in New York or Tokyo, there are always similar recreational facilities like playgrounds and swimming pools. If one needs to find some diversity in a place, except some scenery spots, it must be museums and concert halls. They display various types of architecture, distinctive antiques and local music, demonstrating how different these cities once were.  

Finally, concert halls and museums cannot support themselves for their little income and huge maintenance fees, in contrast with playgrounds and swimming pools, which are capable of gaining some profits. Holding a splendid concert requires qualified bands and correspondent charges. Displaying all rounded exhibitions needs valuable objects and expensive security measurements. Regarding the increasing tendency of going for fun but nothing serious, the total tickets numbers for those activities have decreased and will keep going down. If museums and halls are expected to survive in such condition, then the financial support from governments is of necessity.

To conclude, museums and concert halls are indispensable for the art and culture education and diversity they provides. Therefore, in order to support their maintenance, which may not be covered by tickets, governments should spend some money on them, unlike entertainment facilities.

白菜学英语UID：2731720

改好啦~

jonathan0929UID：2588704

改好了~

longxue26UID：2687755

8-13的作文修改
先提个小建议  如果下次能附上word附件 就更好了

While recreational facilities can support themselves by attracting a huge amount of people, museums and concert halls usually need funding from government, for their vital roles in conveying and transmitting culture and art, 到此为止 都说的非常有创意!displaying diversity and huge expenses that cannot be covered easily.最后一句把我看迷糊了 支持 还是不支持呢?

To begin with, museums and concert halls serve as an essential means for art and culture education. By exhibiting various kinds of antiques, museums display how ancestors lived and how they communicated with each other; by providing opportunities to listen to concerts, concert halls provide people with lively<live> experience to contact with music impressively. Those artistic and cultural facilities enrich people's lives as well as enhance their knowledge gradually, while entertainment facilities only amuse the public, without further education functions.

In addition, diversity这里到底是啥意思呢? usually comes from museums and concert halls, not playgrounds and swimming pools. Cities and countries nowadays are suffering from going to the same end. No matter it is in New York or Tokyo, there are always similar recreational facilities like playgrounds and swimming pools. If one needs to find some diversity in a place, except some scenery spots, it must be museums and concert halls. They display various types of architecture, distinctive antiques and local music, demonstrating how different these cities once不要说once啦 用现在时态说明这个city的性质不是更贴切吗? were.  这段 很有想法 但是 再稍稍 直接地说出 市政府应该大力投入到博物馆和音乐厅的建设 来让这个城市更有特色 更加吸引人 就更perfect了!

Finally, concert halls and museums cannot support themselves for their little income and huge maintenance fees, in contrast with playgrounds and swimming pools, which are capable of gaining some 为了强调这两个地方盈利的能力 应该是用huge, amounts of这样的程度形容词profits. Holding a splendid concert requires qualified bands and correspondent charges. Displaying all rounded exhibitions needs valuable objects 展品的话就直接说exibits也好啦 and expensive security measurements. Regarding the increasing tendency of going for fun but nothing serious,这么说就不好 我觉得可以这么说下试试: since门票都比较低廉 这两处的盈利都非常微薄 甚至有的时候无法支撑之后的展出或者表演,或者员工的工资也有问题, 这么说看看呢? the total tickets numbers for those activities have decreased and will keep going down. If museums and halls are expected to survive in such condition, then the financial support from governments is of necessity.

To conclude, museums and concert halls are indispensable for the art and culture education and diversity they provides. Therefore, in order to support their maintenance, which may not be covered by tickets, governments should spend some money on them, unlike entertainment facilities.

其实我觉得 开头可以更干脆直接一些 也许是我自己没看清楚
其他的 结构都很好啦  立意也挺新颖的 议论的部分也不错!
大家一起加油!

别忘了看看我的哈!

jjooyyUID：2704028

我讨厌写因果关系的段落 讨厌死了 最近怎么总是这样写呢
456 word -around 1h - -|||

8.1409.09.25NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to take a secure job with a low pay than to take a job with a high pay but is easy to lose.

Possessing an insecure job with a high pay can motivate one to cherish the moment and to accomplish more achievements, while having a secure job with low salaries cannot. Additionally, with a high salary every month, one can easily find a job if one day he or she lose our jobs.

To begin with, valuing the job arouses when it comes to an instable job with high salaries, which probably not occurs to a stable but low-income job. The more instable the work is, the more valuable the job can be. The feeling that one is right now doing the most crucial job in the world actually leads to consciousness and prudence, which enhance one's capability at work and in turn increase the possibility of sustaining the job. Comparison to stable jobs with a little money, which only cause little efforts to maintain it, unstable jobs force one to perform better and improve himself or herself.   

In addition, high pays with high risks always lead to high requirements for the work. And in afraid of losing them, one will spare no efforts to meet these standards, and to accomplish missions perfectly. On the other hand, a secure job with low salaries may not require much for employees, therefore contributing to easy and fruitless results. Since what one wants at work is always money and self satisfactory, then taking insecure positions will surely satisfy them. For instance, my brother decided to build his own company instead of being an employee in a multinational company three years ago, because he hated to follow others' orders and to finish boring tasks all day long. And to our surprise, he managed to run his company under huge pressures.

Finally, even if one gets fired for some reason, with salaries provided before, it is quite easy to continue to live comfortably and to find a suitable job later, unlike a secure job, in which one may have a tough time when seeking for jobs. As is universally acknowledged, if there is a job, there is chance to lose it. Although losing an insecure job is of greater possibility than a safe one, the money saved from high salaries can really help one get through the days between jobs. On the contrary, one with little deposits, because of low incomes before, can hardly survive without jobs. Therefore, a seemingly attractive low incomes position with security to some extent is more risky than an unstable position with high salaries.

In conclusion, an unstable job with high salaries overweighs the opposite one, because it offers one a chance to value the work and attempt to proceed. Also with high incomes, one can survive when looking for a new job, unlike jobs with low salaries.