jjooyy的作文贴

louisa427UID：2458920

The speaker casts doubt on the opinion that dinosaurs are endotherms, explained by the reading passage, in three aspects.

Initially, in the lecture, polar dinosaurs do not prove anything. In the ancient times, it was much warmer in the polar area than nowadays, and was warm enough for animals which were not endotherms to live in有这句吗？我貌似没有听到。. Additionally, when it got colder, dinosaurs could pass through these times by migration and hibernation. Obviously, this point goes against what the reading says.reading  说了什么？要简单提一下。

Subsequently, the speaker argues that the leg position of dinosaurs may have some other explanations other than being efficient for running. Perhaps, this leg position will support the huge weight of dinosaurs, since dinosaurs were all large-sized. Again, this contradicts the reading's supposing about the relation between the leg position and the movement.: r2 k0 Q7 R6 h1 p

Finally, the listening also holds that dinosaurs were not endotherms because of their growth ring. 这段我觉得应该要提一下hc哪个结构 ，虽然恐龙也有这个结构，但是不能说就是恒温动物。为啥？因为他还有个grow ring。In comparison to those endotherms which grow rapidly all the time, dinosaurs have their own growth ring. They grow slowly when it turns to cooler, and grow rapidly if it gets warmer again. Consequently, their different growth rate makes them not one of endotherms, which totally refutes the Haversian canals and endotherms theory in the reading.

主要论点都在，看得出听力功底不错，比我好的多了，我都听不全。如果阅读部分的内容稍微提及或者再多带点就更棒了，加油！

louisa427UID：2458920

Considering the immaturity and the special need of young children, advertising designed for children are advisable, if strictly controlled. Accordingly, children will have fun and even learn something in those ads.虽然很好的开头，但是没有点到不良饮食习惯啊，要点题。

begin with, children are more likely to be driven by various commercials, no matter whether the context of the ads is right or wrong, owing to a lack of experience. There are some behaviors not suitable for their ages, like taking diet pills to get thinner. More importantly, if the behaviors of the characters on the advertisements are inappropriate, such as drinking, smoking, and driving at a crazy speed, kids will still take them in easily and imitate to some degree if they get a chance, which will at least lead to a negative lifestyle. For example, my five-year-old cousin learnt how to smoke just by watch those advertisements on TV.这段还是一样，只说了吃减肥药，刚扣题就飞了，后面就开始说别的了，就看这第一段，只能感觉你是在写广告对孩子的影响，但看不出是对饮食习惯的影响。

In addition, if not making advertisements for children, many other advertisements put some "best" in them什么意思？, which even deceive adults, confusing children about fantasy and reality. It is not uncommon that commercials exaggerate their products and services to sell. They display how healthily it could be if having those junk foods, how happily life could be if using those useless gadgets and how easily work could be done if utilizing those "amazing" tools. All these ads eventually make children to believe that how wonderful life could be if having those products and that money can solve any problems in real life. Of course, that is definitely not the truth.

Finally, kids will entertain themselves and concentrate more on the healthy ads that are particularly directed to them, if there do exist such advertisements. Given the passionate that children possess to wait eagerly in front of the screen for cartoons, it will not be surprising that they will be more amused to watch some commercials for them. They may memorize the songs, the words and the characters in those special ads, which can be helpful for education. Since they do no harm to children's growth mentally and physically, it will be a relief to parents and society as a whole.

Therefore, designing some advertisements for young children will avoid other commercials influencing on them negatively, and impart some healthy concepts to them.
语言词汇没有问题，但是从开头开始，没有点名你是同意还是不同意这个观点，然后后面的叙述中我感觉你是同意的，那么按照思路，就是广告怎么样影响不良饮食习惯的形成？而且论题中没有设定限制是kids，你的观点就设定为kids，那么大人和老人的不良习惯就不是广告引起的？这篇思路有点范了，要再缩小下

alt735UID：2795126

已改

xqsissyUID：2812149

59# jjooyy

虽然我没有找到综合作文的题目，但是，我还是很乐意改的～～～

先占座，下载了改之。。。

jianndqinUID：2492884

改好

alt735UID：2795126

我的 TPO 4  组长你还没有改呢

nunulongUID：2172898

您好，文章已修改，请查收，水平有限，请包涵！

奔跑蜗牛UID：2579189

Considering the immaturity and the special need of young children, advertising designed for children are advisable, if strictly controlled. Accordingly, children will have fun and even learn something in those ads.
considering the young children's difference, especially their immaturity and special need, it is advisable to design advertising for them under strictly control.  开头写的太突兀了
考虑到young children的自身特点，他们需要什么 什么，然后接着说广告有这样的特点，再写ads 控制的好的话 怎样怎样
ads 不建议在学术写作中用

jjooyyUID：2704028

68# 奔跑蜗牛
就是说 开头也要写具体，不能概括的写上一句话，写出观点就可以了？
谢谢蜗牛~~

奔跑蜗牛UID：2579189

68# 奔跑蜗牛  
就是说 开头也要写具体，不能概括的写上一句话，写出观点就可以了？
谢谢蜗牛~~
jjooyy 发表于 2010-8-24 19:27

也不是具体

俺觉得是在第一句两个分句之间加一点连接的句子
要不 不清楚为什么就一下推出后半句了
got it

jjooyyUID：2704028

70# 奔跑蜗牛
懂了！ 衔接的不够好！
话说 你的注册日期还是是我的生日。。。

jjooyyUID：2704028

tpo7  
In the reading, the author holds that American wood companies may not take efforts to receive ecocertifucation for three reasons. However, the lecturer effectively challenges the opinion, demonstrating the opposite is true.

To begin with, the reading believes that people in the United States do not care much about advertising, the ecocertification included, since they do not trust ads. Contrarily, the listening maintains that people do distinguish from advertisements for products and advertisements for consumer certification. Therefore, it is more likely for them to trust the ecocertification, which shares international fame of being trustworthy.
篮字为第一遍未听到内容

In addition, the passage resorts American wood companies not receiving ecocertification to consumers' concerns about prices more than other elements, which is opposite to the lecture. In the lecture, the speaker says that if the difference of prices between products is quite little, like five percent, then people are more incline to weigh other facts over prices. In that case, a product with ecocertification will be more advantageous than others, demonstrating that its company do concern about preserving resources and protecting environments.

Finally, while the reading material suggests that American companies will be satisfied with catering to domestic demands without ecocertification, the speaker holds the different idea. If domesticate companies want to compete with foreign ones in American markets, they are also obliged to receive the ecocertification. Otherwise, foreign companies will fully occupy the market soon.

serena-blueUID：2811284

In the reading, the author holds that American wood companies may not take efforts to receive ecocertifucation for three reasons. However, the lecturer effectively challenges the opinion, demonstrating the opposite is true.

To begin with, the reading believes that people in the United States do not care much about advertising, the ecocertification included, since they do not trust ads. Contrarily, the listening maintains that people do distinguish from advertisements for products and advertisements for consumer certification. Therefore, it is more likely for them to trust the ecocertification, which shares international fame of being trustworthy.; T; R% e5 J" H. X
篮字为第一遍未听到内容) U4 }% D7 `) M& x) g! v' `4 `
我听到的内容是，美国人相信那些国际消费者机构做的认证international agency，呵呵。。

In addition, the passage resorts（resort是不及物动词，表示诉诸） American wood companies not receiving ecocertification to consumers' concerns about prices more than other elements, which is opposite to the lecture. In the lecture, the speaker says that if the difference of prices between products is quite little, like five percent, then people are more incline to weigh other facts over prices. In that case, a product with ecocertification will be more advantageous than others, demonstrating that its company do concern about preserving resources and protecting environments.; {& Q: n( c, j! n1 i

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Finally, while the reading material suggests that American companies will be satisfied with catering to domestic demands without ecocertification, the speaker holds the different idea. If domesticate companies want to compete with foreign ones in American markets, they are also obliged to receive the ecocertification. Otherwise, foreign companies will fully occupy the market soon.
读下来很完整流畅，没什么特别要修改的地方。呵呵

louisa427UID：2458920

It is of certainty that people are more or less driven by money, teachers included. However, will raising instructors' salaries truly improve the quality of education? If so, will it be the best way? From my perspective, it does work to some extent, but it will not be the best way。好开头！

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There is no denying that the increase of teachers' salaries motivates them to do a better job. It can be said that salaries are symbols 我觉得用judgement好一点of one's attitude towards work and the results of work. If they can be raised wisely and gradually, most teachers will feel their attitudes are appreciated and their work is praised. Under this situation, they will excavate their potential and 改成to会好一点 improve the quality of education. A recent study conducted by my university suggests that teachers who get higher salaries than their peer's feel more confident and work harder.& Y9 J, i* Z4 ^1 `' \* N$ h
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However, raising salaries may also affect education in a negative way. Those who have their salaries raised could be those who lecture to teach more knowledge in class and force students to do huge amount of homework that they can hardly bear, therefore improving data of education like students' GPA. In that case, other teachers who are envy of the money will take the same way to educate用force好一点 students to improve education. On the other side, students actually learn in a passive way and may even turn negative attitudes towards schools. 没明白这点Therefore, the quality of education declines even if educators have higher salaries.

Even assuming the quality of education raises with teachers' salaries, it is also not the the best way to improve education. In my opinion, it is improving teachers' quality that matters most. Willingness and hard working cannot always change the situation. Simply put什么意思，put后要接什么, if a teacher takes great initiation to be an excellent education conductor？, but without formal education and scientific methodology, he/she can never be a good teacher.  Also, for a teacher who once devoted oneself to learning teaching skills and improving communicating abilities, how can he/she possibly fail to teach students?3 U; {% E. w: S" b0 Y; ?; v& x1 ^
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To draw a conclusion, raising teachers' salaries can be helpful in some situations, but it can also lead to negative influences on education. Additionally, even if it works, it is still not the best way to improve the quality of education

jjooyyUID：2704028

tpo8 似乎超时了。。
While the reading passage throws doubt on the accuracy of the memoir of the Chevalier de Seingalt, the lecture is, on the contrary, quite firm about the correctness of the memoir.

To begin with, the reading presents that the fact that the Chevalier was very rich goes against his loan from a Swiss merchant. However, the speaker maintains the Chevalier may borrow money for gambling and parties, and later cover the loan with his wealth. These two facts are actually not contradictory.

In addition, the phrases of the conversations with the reputed writer Voltaire recorded in the memoir is questioned for their accuracy by the reading, but confirmed by the listening. The lecturer contends that the Chevalier remembered the conversations and kept them in record many years before the memoir. By consorting to his journals and diaries constantly, what the memoir writes is quite true.

Finally, the listening material also challenges the opinion held by the passage that the Chevalier's escape from prison is because of a bribe. The point from the reading can be easily weakened by the fact that many other prisoners in the same prison who have more powerful friends failed to escape. Additionally, according to an old government record, the prison repaired the ceiling after the Chevalier's escape. This lends more credence to the memoir's account that the Chevalier escaped by breaking the ceiling.