jjooyy的作文贴

jiangskyskyUID: 2478960

修改好了
请查收

longxue26UID: 2687755

实在是抱歉 昨天忘记给你看这篇文章了 最近脑子不好用 犯傻    :@
还得谢谢你给我的作文批改哈

Possessing an insecure job with a high pay can motivate one to cherish the moment and to accomplish more achievements, while having a secure job with low salaries cannot. Additionally, with a high salary every month, one can easily find a job if one day he or she lose our<和前面的she保持一直 应该> jobs.
首先 我不太明白你为什么用这种开头 就是 直接上来就评论 没有介绍背景  当然我不是说不好 只是 很少见到
其次 最后一句话 我懂你要说的意思 但是这么说感觉联系不紧密 没有力量  而且应该加个 i think, in my opinion这样的话  可以说成 since one is competent for a high-salary job, it will definitely easy for him/her to find another good position in other companies. 个人意见哈 我说的也不好.
最后 我觉得还是应该说一句表明你立场的话. 简短地说也好啊

To begin with, valuing the job arouses when it comes to an instable job with high salaries, which probably not occurs to a stable but low-income job这句要说啥啊??. The more instable the work is, the more valuable the job can be. The feeling that one is right now doing the most crucial job in the world actually leads to consciousness and prudence, which enhance one's capability at work and in turn increase the possibility of sustaining the job. Comparison to stable jobs with a little money, which only cause little efforts to maintain it, unstable jobs force one to perform better and improve himself or herself.   
这段 前面的论点是什么 我没看懂
我觉得应该重点说后部分--工资少的人更容易疏忽工作 慢待工作 而风险高的人更容易努力工作 对公司贡献更大 而这样的工作往往也是最有价值的工作 比如... 举个例子 比如销售啦 风险大 红利高 但是直接和公司挂钩 若是没有杰出的业绩 公司没钱 本人必然失业

In addition, high pays with high risks always lead to high requirements for the work. And in afraid of losing them, one will spare no efforts<说的好> to meet these standards, and to accomplish missions perfectly. On the other hand, a secure job with low salaries may not require much for employees, therefore contributing to easy and fruitless results. Since what one wants at work is always money and self satisfactory, then taking insecure positions will surely satisfy them. For instance, my brother decided to build his own company instead of being an employee in a multinational company three years ago, because he hated<wow 这个说的狠了点儿>
to follow others' orders and to finish boring tasks all day long. And to our surprise, he managed to run his company under huge pressures.说到这儿就停了???
例子本来很好的 但是没有表述好  
离开公司的原因不要写的那么浅  应该说 要实现个人目标啦 挑战困难和风险啦 这样子  多描述在压力下他如何战胜困难赢得胜利 这样才能突出你的论点

Finally, even if one gets fired for some reason, with salaries provided before, it is quite easy to continue to live comfortably and to find a suitable job later, unlike a secure job, in which one may have a tough time when seeking for jobs. As is universally acknowledged, if there is a job, there is chance to lose it. 多说无益Although losing an insecure job is of greater possibility than a safe one, the money saved from high salaries can really help one get through the days between jobs. On the contrary, one with little deposits, because of low incomes before, can hardly survive without jobs. Therefore, a seemingly attractive low incomes position with security to some extent is more risky than an unstable position with high salaries.
这段的角度很好 但是重新整理一下再说看看呢
如果一旦失业  那么过去工资高的人容易找到更好的工作 而过去工资地的人却容易被别人误认为能力差 而且生活条件会约束他 等等

In conclusion, an unstable job with high salaries overweighs the opposite one, because it offers one a chance to value the work and attempt to proceed. Also with high incomes, one can survive when looking for a new job, unlike jobs with low salaries.

咱不用模板不行吗? 问题是大伙都这么用 就不好了吧...

jjooyyUID: 2704028

47# longxue26

谢谢你的批改 你的意见很有见地~每次写到工作的 我就愁了

jjooyyUID: 2704028

TPO1
我真的记得听力的内容啊~越写越罗嗦了！

While the reading material states that providing the option of four-day workweek will be beneficial for both the company and the employees, the speaker expresses the opposite opinion.

First, the professor holds that the company will spend more money by offering the option of four-day workweek in the lecture. Because employees spend fewer hours at work, new employees are hired to finish the same amount of tasks. Therefore, more money to train employees and to provide health benefits are required for the new workers than before. Also, new computers and offices are costly in that condition. The point above is totally different from the reading, which believes by supplying shortened workweek, employees will avoid costly errors, and the company will pay less for their shorter work time.

In addition, That with the shorter work time, the company will force employees to overwork and maintain the number of staff is the speaker's opinion. The company will raise the expectation of their staff since they have more time to relax themselves and rest fully. What's worse, instead of finding new ones to finish the work left due to the shortened workweek system, some companies will even ask their employees to accomplish the same amount of work that they can only finish in five days. In that case, employees will have more unpleased jobs to do, with no one enter for new jobs. On the contrast, the reading states that workers will possess more free time to improve the quality of their life.

Finally, in the listening material, employees who choose to work four days a week can hardly get a chance of promotion, because of the requirement of the stability of management and supervision. Additionally, he who takes the option of four-day workweek is more likely to be fired during the depression. Therefore, the statement above throws doubt on the improvement of employees' personal life, which is concluded in reading.  

serena-blueUID: 2811284

首先说明一下，这是我第一次做综合作文，没有看过模板或者经验，如果有什么不妥的地方，请见谅啊。。。
第一段，学习了！
While the reading material states that providing the option of four-day workweek will be beneficial for both the company and the employees, the speaker expresses the opposite opinion. 9 \0 }. e4 H6 y( b7 d  ]& d
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First, the professor holds that the company will spend more money by offering the option of four-day workweek in the lecture. Because employees spend fewer hours at work, new employees are hired to finish the same amount of tasks. Therefore, more money to train employees and to provide health benefits are required for the new workers than before. Also, new computers and offices are costly in that condition. （这句话学习了）The point above is totally different from the reading, which believes by supplying shortened workweek, employees will avoid costly errors, and the company will pay less for their shorter work time.( W+ |9 l, I9 q" u' m
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In addition, That with the shorter work time, the company will force employees to overwork and maintain the number of staff is the speaker's opinion. The company will raise the expectation of their staff since they have more time to relax themselves and rest fully. What's worse, instead of finding new ones to finish the work left due to the shortened workweek system, some companies will even ask their employees to accomplish the same amount of work that they can only finish in five days. In that case, employees will have more unpleased jobs to do, with no one enter（entering) for new jobs. On the contrast, the reading states that workers will possess more free time to improve the quality of their life.

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Finally, in the listening material, employees who choose to work four days a week can hardly get a chance of promotion, because of the requirement of the stability of management and supervision. Additionally, he who takes the option of four-day workweek is more likely to be fired during the depression. Therefore, the statement above throws doubt on the improvement of employees' personal life, which is concluded in reading.  
学习了很多，首先谢谢作者。
每一个点都讲到了，而且，可以说很详细，而且把原文和lecture总结到一起了。不过字数好像有点多，其他的没有可以挑剔的了~~~学习学习~~

qlshunUID: 2602870

While the reading material states that providing the option of four-day workweek will be beneficial for both the company and the employees（三个方面：employee,company and the whole country）, the speaker expresses the opposite opinion." {" \) F# N. D3 S0 q

First, the professor(我们怎么知道说话的是个professor?) holds that the company will spend more money by offering the option of four-day workweek in the lecture. Because employees spend fewer hours at work, new employees are hired to finish the same amount of tasks. Therefore, more money to train employees and to provide health benefits are required for the new workers than before. Also, new computers and offices are costly in that condition. The point above is totally different from the reading, which believes by supplying shortened workweek, employees will avoid costly errors, and the company will pay less for their shorter work time." b( N! @6 D. w& `( Y

In addition, That with the shorter work time, the company will force employees to overwork and maintain the number of staff is the speaker's opinion. The company will raise the expectation of their staff since they have more time to relax themselves and rest fully. What's worse, instead of finding new ones to finish the work left due to the shortened workweek system, some companies will even ask their employees to accomplish the same amount of work that they can only finish in five days. In that case, employees will have more unpleased jobs to do, with no one enter for new jobs. On the contrast(in the contrast /in contrast to), the reading states that workers will possess more free time to improve the quality of their life.

Finally, in the listening material, employees who choose to work four days a week can hardly get a chance of promotion, because of the requirement of the stability of management and supervision. Additionally, he who takes the option of four-day workweek is more likely to be fired during the depression. Therefore, the statement above throws doubt on the improvement of employees' personal life, which is concluded in reading.  : o.

作者写得很全面 ， 觉得语言再提炼一下，有些句子有点罗索

jjooyyUID: 2704028

TPO2  时间还是不够

Although the passage claims that assembling a group to attack a project has several advantages, such as the quicker response, the creative solutions that can be come up and the shineness of some people, the lecture totally casts doubt on it.

First, the reading material holds that a group possesses a wider range of knowledge, skill and experience, therefore leading to a quicker response, which is against what the lecture says. In the lecture, a team cannot move quickly because it takes a huge amount of time to reach consensus. Many hours are spent to discuss about how the project should go along.

Second, the listening material contradicts about the point of people getting to shine in the team, stated by the reading. The lecture says that after six months, the company finds some people do not finish what they are supposed to do. However, when the team succeed, those people who get free ride also enjoy the glory of the team because they are members of the team. ON the other hand, those who contribute a lot or have insights of the project have their name unmentioned.

Finally, while the reading argues that individuals are not responsible for the decisions made by the team, the listening contends that the direction the group goes to may be influenced by some influencial people. If those influencial people tend to agree the choice, then the whole team will be led to agree the decision, in spite of some people's disagreeing. And verse versa.

In a word, the listening material contradicts what the reading say in three aspects.

serena-blueUID: 2811284

Although the passage claims that assembling a group to attack a project has several advantages, such as the quicker response, the creative solutions that can be come up and the shineness of some people, the lecture totally casts doubt on it.: K& Q! [3 j
zh
这儿有个疑问想请教，上一次关于4天工作日的那个练习，我在首段阐述了new policy的主要内容，另一个同学帮我修改说不用写上，但是呢，我觉得就像这次的，也写上阅读材料里提到的内容，楼主觉得呢？
First, the reading material holds that a group possesses a wider range of knowledge, skill and experience, therefore leading to a quicker response, which is against what the lecture says. In the lecture, a team cannot move quickly because it takes a huge amount of time to reach consensus. Many hours are spent to discuss about how the project should go along.

Second, the listening material contradicts about the point of people getting to shine in the team, stated by the reading. The lecture says that after six months, the company finds some people do not finish what they are supposed to do. However, when the team succeed（gets succeess), those people who get free ride also enjoy the glory of the team because they are members of the team(of the whole group). ON the other hand, those who contribute a lot or have insights of the project have their name unmentioned. 9 x7 O: m7 e% V- c$ e4 h

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Finally, while the reading argues that individuals are not responsible for the decisions made by the team, the listening contends that the direction the group goes to may be influenced by some influencial people. If those influencial people tend to agree the choice, then the whole team will be led to agree the decision, in spite of some people's disagreeing(disagreement). And verse versa.6 q) b+ N/ D0 O" k# v

In a word, the listening material contradicts what the reading say in three aspects.
点子都写到了，语言也很流利！说实话，没发现什么问题。像楼主学习了！

louisa427UID: 2458920

Although the passage claims that assembling a group to attack a project has several advantages, such as the quicker response, the creative solutions that can be come up and the shineness of some people, the lecture totally casts doubt on it.8 d+ C2 d+ Y2 D8 u% K5 L

First, the reading material holds THE IDEA that a group possesses a wider range of knowledge, skill and experience, therefore leading to a quicker response, which is against what the lecture says. In the lecture, a team cannot move quickly because it takes a huge amount of time to reach consensus. Many hours are spent to discuss about how the project should go along.$ E9 G" L+ Y5 z2 k. U1 A5 P0 ]( b
; @; N- a' M' X0 `" ]
Second, the listening material contradicts about the point of people getting to shine in the team, stated by the reading. The lecture says that after six months, the company finds some people do not finish what they are supposed to do. However, when the team succeed, those people who get free ride also enjoy the glory of the team because they are members of the team. ON the other hand, those who contribute a lot or have insights of the project have their name unmentioned。 0 D7 ?. P3 s, U: y
) D# ^$ b1 H4 z2 P
Finally, while the reading argues that individuals are not responsible for the decisions made by the team, the listening contends that the direction the group goes to may be influenced by some influencial people. If those influencial people tend to agree the choice, then the whole team will be led to agree the decision, in spite of some people's disagreeing. And verse versa.这句用的很匪夷所思。3 f# ~% W9 w( ?+ D1 {
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In a word, the listening material contradicts what the reading say in three aspects.

总体还是很不错的！值得学习

jjooyyUID: 2704028

315个词 估计可以30分钟写完 还是少了

8.19:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
　　Telephone has greater influence on people’s lives than TV.

Although telephones can convey sounds and voices simultaneously to the other side of the world, from my perspective, I tend to believe televisions affect people's lives more than telephones, because they change our lifestyles, teach us lessons, and entertain us easily.

To begin with, with the advent of televisions, people are increasingly dependent on TV in daily lives. It is not uncommon that families spend their time together in front of the screen, watching, chitchatting and laughing. Also, friends are used to gossiping the latest TV episode to kill time. Gradually, televisions penetrate our lives, taking our time to watch it and to miss it. According to a recent survey reported in Scientific China, more than half of the population in China spent over three hours in front of the screen instead of reading books.

In addition to that, televisions also serve as an essential role in education and entertainment, whereas telephones only transform others' voices, with no other functions. By displaying science reports and social studies, people learn practical knowledge easily. Furthermore, televisions are one of the best teachers in the world. They provide authentic sounds as well as vivid scenes in order to get one understood. For example, I myself have more impressions on animals that explained by Animal Planet, a famous TV program, than creatures I learnt from my biology class.

Finally, providing interesting stories to amuse one is also the primary function of TVs, in contrast to phones, which can only provide fun if the people at the end of the line are funny. By showing comedies and interesting flashes, people have a good time refreshing and relaxing themselves. No wonder nowadays some people are even addicted to watching TV and relaxing themselves all day long.

To conclude, televisions influence people much more than telephones, for they are a part of our lives, and essential to educate and to amuse us.

jjooyyUID: 2704028

TPO4 连检查20min 哈哈哈哈 似乎是因为内容少了。。

The speaker casts doubt on the opinion that dinosaurs are endotherms, explained by the reading passage, in three aspects.

Initially, in the lecture, polar dinosaurs do not prove anything. In the ancient times, it was much warmer in the polar area than nowadays, and was warm enough for animals which were not endotherms to live in. Additionally, when it got colder, dinosaurs could pass through these times by migration and hibernation. Obviously, this point goes against what the reading says.

Subsequently, the speaker argues that the leg position of dinosaurs may have some other explanations other than being efficient for running. Perhaps, this leg position will support the huge weight of dinosaurs, since dinosaurs were all large-sized. Again, this contradicts the reading's supposing about the relation between the leg position and the movement.

Finally, the listening also holds that dinosaurs were not endotherms because of their growth ring. In comparison to those endotherms which grow rapidly all the time, dinosaurs have their own growth ring. They grow slowly when it turns to cooler, and grow rapidly if it gets warmer again. Consequently, their different growth rate makes them not one of endotherms, which totally refutes the Haversian canals and endotherms theory in the reading.

jjooyyUID: 2704028

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children should be allowed.
21:38-22:15   嗯 比较顺 因为TPO14的阅读。。

Considering the immaturity and the special need of young children, advertising designed for children are advisable, if strictly controlled. Accordingly, children will have fun and even learn something in those ads.

To begin with, children are more likely to be driven by various commercials, no matter whether the context of the ads is right or wrong, owing to a lack of experience. There are some behaviors not suitable for their ages, like taking diet pills to get thinner. More importantly, if the behaviors of the characters on the advertisements are inappropriate, such as drinking, smoking, and driving at a crazy speed, kids will still take them in easily and imitate to some degree if they get a chance, which will at least lead to a negative lifestyle. For example, my five-year-old cousin learnt how to smoke just by watch those advertisements on TV.

In addition, if not making advertisements for children, many other advertisements put some "best" in them, which even deceive adults, confusing children about fantasy and reality. It is not uncommon that commercials exaggerate their products and services to sell. They display how healthily it could be if having those junk foods, how happily life could be if using those useless gadgets and how easily work could be done if utilizing those "amazing" tools. All these ads eventually make children to believe that how wonderful life could be if having those products and that money can solve any problems in real life. Of course, that is definitely not the truth.

Finally, kids will entertain themselves and concentrate more on the healthy ads that are particularly directed to them, if there do exist such advertisements. Given the passionate that children possess to wait eagerly in front of the screen for cartoons, it will not be surprising that they will be more amused to watch some commercials for them. They may memorize the songs, the words and the characters in those special ads, which can be helpful for education. Since they do no harm to children's growth mentally and physically, it will be a relief to parents and society as a whole.

Therefore, designing some advertisements for young children will avoid other commercials influencing on them negatively, and impart some healthy concepts to them.

estopUID: 2864494

8-20独立，全是长句子，脑袋大了，没发现什么错误，说说内容
开头，一上来表明了观点，控制的ads应该被allow。young children是不是意思重复我也不知道

第一部分：容易被误导（行为上的）
第二部分：容易被误导（产品属性）
第三部分：广告对于儿童可以娱、教结合

结论：避免负面影响，提供健康的方面

但是题目最后有个be allowed，感觉除了开头第一段提到一个if strictly controlled，就再也没有体现了。只是讨论influence

jjooyyUID: 2704028

TPO5-越写越少了。。。。。
The speaker challenges the three competing theories of the usage of "great houses", as presented by the reading material.

First, the speaker casts doubt about the theory that "great houses" are for residential, which is explained by the reading. Although they seem like "apartment buildings" at Taos, New Mexico outside, they do not look like to be lived inside. However, few fire places and no enough rooms are founded in great houses, suggesting that they are not suitable for residential, especially for hundreds of families' residential.

Second, the theory that the Chaco structures were used to store food in the passage is also refuted by the lecture. Since there are no traces of maize and maize containers left, it is of little possibility for the place to store maize.

Third, lecture says some other materials exist to cast doubt on the likelihood of being a ceremony centre for the houses, disagreeing with the third theory of the reading. The presence of sands, stones and even building structures makes the theory impossible. Besides, those broken pots can simply be the reminders left behind after regular meals.

jjooyyUID: 2704028

8.21
The best way to improve education is to raise teachers’ salaries.
好GRE啊。。
It is of certainty that people are more or less driven by money, teachers included. However, will raising instructors' salaries truly improve the quality of education? If so, will it be the best way? From my perspective, it does work to some extent, but it will not be the best way.

There is no denying that the increase of teachers' salaries motivates them to do a better job. It can be said that salaries are symbols of one's attitude towards work and the results of work. If they can be raised wisely and gradually, most teachers will feel their attitudes appreciated and their work praised. Under this situation, they will excavate their potential and improve the quality of education. A recent study conducted by my university suggests that teachers who get higher salaries than their peer feel more confident and work harder.

However, raising salaries may also affect education in a negative way. Those who have their salaries raised could be those who lecture to teach more knowledge in class and force students to do huge amount of homework that they can hardly bear, therefore improving data of education like students' GPA. In that case, other teachers who are envy of the money will take the same way to educate students to improve education. On the other side, students actually learn in a passive way and may even turn negative attitudes towards schools. Therefore, the quality of education declines even if educators have higher salaries.

Even assuming the quality of education raises with teachers' salaries, it is also not the the best way to improve education. In my opinion, it is improving teachers' quality that matters most. Willingness and hard working cannot always change the situation. Simply put, if a teacher takes great initiation to be an excellent education, but without formal education and scientific methodology, he/she can never be a good teacher.  Also, for a teacher who once devoted oneself to learning teaching skills and improving communicating abilities, how can he/she possibly fail to teach students?

To draw a conclusion, raising teachers' salaries can be helpful in some situations, but it can also lead to negative influences on education. Additionally, even if it works, it is still not the best way to improve the quality of education.