寄托天下
楼主: 嘉木香草

嘉木香草的TOEFL奋斗贴~~ [复制链接]

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
5
寄托币
381
注册时间
2010-4-27
精华
0
帖子
5
发表于 2010-12-2 16:51:30 |显示全部楼层
嗯,12月2号的昨天写的,忘贴了。。。加油,作文!!!

12.2嘉木.doc

15.5 KB, 下载次数: 5

TOEFL is a game

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
175
注册时间
2010-6-25
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2010-12-3 13:01:58 |显示全部楼层
46# 嘉木香草

When comes to the topic of comparing of creation and planning, which is more meaningful in assist(assiting) people to achieve a best solution(solutions) to questions, many people state that staying(keeping) creative is quite important for waiting for(加stimulating) the inspiration  of the solving methods. Others, on the contrary, refute the idea by giving the shortages of plan. I am the one, who is and probably  will forever argue against the statement of find a best solution without a through plan. The reasons are as follow(follows):

First and foremost, planning plays a essential part in helping people avoid of the harm for(caused by) the unsure situation. This is an example which dates back to the 1930s, the great depression. Think about it carefully, why was that happened? The explaination(explanation) is that the economics(economy) was mastered(controlled) by the manufacturers, without any plan or master(guide) of the government. Only after the rigorously enforced strategy of planning economic (could)made it possible to reverse the terrible time for many Americans.

In addition, planning can provide people with a surrounded blue script(蓝图应该是blueprint), which makes one master(第三次出现了,呵呵,一般是指一个人精通一项技能,coordinate) the total condition about how is everything going on and, consequently, change his/her plan if necessary in order to solve the problem or achieve the goal(去掉吧,太罗嗦了). Take the presidential victory of Abama for instance, only after the tremendous pre-working by himself and his ministers, (这个逗号应该不能去掉)can they realize their final dream(这样说是不是好一些,achieve their final goal/aim). During the presidential election, there had occured many accidents, but with the careful preparation and modulation in time, he finally winned. A successful president(A person who want to become a president还没有变长总统呢是吧) cannot achieve his/her goal without careful and detailed preparation. It is difficult(太平淡,it is unbelievable) to imagine a brilliant president(candidate) wins a competation(competition) just becasue of his/her creative performance on the campaign.

Undeniably, the ability of being creative is quite important in many situations(这个词重复的太多了,改为area/realm试试) and subjects, such as arts, musics, literitures and many other essential components of human beings society(去掉吧,改为so forth). Planning, however(nonetheless), (will)increase the possibilities(可能性没有复数吧) of (加great)accomplishments in one`s life. It is not to say creation cannot find a solution to a problem(这句话毛病很多,say一般不要用在正式的写作里,除了引用别人的名言时;creation改为creativity;creativity不能做find的主语,有生命的东西才能find对吧,建议改为it is not to mean that creativity can not produce useful solution to a problem), it is just that with a forethought about the complication, we can explore a best method to the success(succeed).

(From)All those reasons above, we may safely(surely) draw a conculsion that only under(through/by)carefully planning and throughout thinking, (去掉逗号)can it supply us with a best way to our puzzles(好像一般指小困惑,不确定) rather than just being creative.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
5
寄托币
381
注册时间
2010-4-27
精华
0
帖子
5
发表于 2010-12-3 16:16:53 |显示全部楼层
1204的独立,辛苦修改人了,仍是逻辑上的问题,希望予以指示~~谢谢!

1204嘉木.doc

16.5 KB, 下载次数: 3

TOEFL is a game

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
333
注册时间
2010-10-9
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2010-12-3 19:48:31 |显示全部楼层
很不错滴,加油啊!~

1201嘉木-By Lina.doc

23.5 KB, 下载次数: 3

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
333
注册时间
2010-10-9
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2010-12-3 19:49:23 |显示全部楼层
不好意思啊发晚了>.<.....
写的还是很不错滴,加油哈!~

1201嘉木-By Lina.doc

23.5 KB, 下载次数: 5

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
5
寄托币
381
注册时间
2010-4-27
精华
0
帖子
5
发表于 2010-12-3 23:27:49 |显示全部楼层
50# linaxu0123
嗯!没事,呵呵,谢谢谢谢,被牛人夸奖心中甚是激动,继续努力!
TOEFL is a game

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
5
寄托币
292
注册时间
2008-2-1
精华
0
帖子
2
发表于 2010-12-4 15:12:40 |显示全部楼层
作文已改
12[1].3 by EEEE456258.doc (29.5 KB, 下载次数: 15)

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
5
寄托币
381
注册时间
2010-4-27
精华
0
帖子
5
发表于 2010-12-4 15:57:15 |显示全部楼层
12.04 integrated和independent~~TPO9的是综合,另外一个是独立~~辛苦修改人了!!!
请问一下综合的作文考试时看文章是看多久呀?

12.04嘉木TPO9.doc

20.5 KB, 下载次数: 2

1204嘉木.doc

16.5 KB, 下载次数: 6

TOEFL is a game

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
5
寄托币
264
注册时间
2010-8-14
精华
0
帖子
3
发表于 2010-12-5 10:29:17 |显示全部楼层
独立

12.3.doc

28.5 KB, 下载次数: 3

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
16
寄托币
351
注册时间
2010-11-11
精华
0
帖子
3
发表于 2010-12-5 16:38:58 |显示全部楼层
revised by Colin

12.04 TPO9 revise.doc

23 KB, 下载次数: 1

Live long and prosper.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
225
注册时间
2010-6-2
精华
0
帖子
3
发表于 2010-12-5 19:54:44 |显示全部楼层
1204嘉木.doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 1)
有學文學的嗎 歡迎認識!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
5
寄托币
735
注册时间
2009-5-28
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2010-12-5 20:32:00 |显示全部楼层
关于predecessor你说的对 确实主要意思是前任 前人 我是想说先辈的意思 确实不太好 又不知道用啥,谢谢指教!加油~

1204嘉木revisedbyrobert.doc

22.5 KB, 下载次数: 3

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
5
寄托币
381
注册时间
2010-4-27
精华
0
帖子
5
发表于 2010-12-6 21:36:04 |显示全部楼层
辛苦修改人了,谢谢!!!

12.06 independent嘉木.doc

19.5 KB, 下载次数: 12

TOEFL is a game

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
5
寄托币
381
注册时间
2010-4-27
精华
0
帖子
5
发表于 2010-12-7 18:47:16 |显示全部楼层
独立and综合
辛苦修改人了!!!

12.07independent.doc

20 KB, 下载次数: 10

12.07 TPO11.doc

13.5 KB, 下载次数: 2

TOEFL is a game

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
1
寄托币
127
注册时间
2010-7-8
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2010-12-7 19:52:02 |显示全部楼层
写的很好啊~~

12.06_independent嘉木.doc

25 KB, 下载次数: 4

使用道具 举报

RE: 嘉木香草的TOEFL奋斗贴~~ [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
嘉木香草的TOEFL奋斗贴~~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1185522-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部