第六次作业 argument 10 by melody-qu

melody-quUID: 2970250

The arguer asserts that the supply of milk has increased dramatically and farmers must have received excessive profits. Actions including regulation retail milk prices should be taken to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk. The arguer cites a series of evidence to support the assertion, while careful examination of the evidence reveals that it lends little credit to the claim.

To begin with, the arguer equal the increasing number of dairy farms throughout the country to that in Batavia, which is unwarranted. We can get no accurate amount of the local dairy farm, let alone the increase or decrease. What’s more, the increase in number cannot for sure lead to the increase in supply without considering differences in technology and size of farms. As a result, whether the supply of milk has increased is open to doubt.

Moreover, due to the fact that the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon, the arguer comes to the conclusion that farmers have received excessive profits, which is groundless. First, the representativeness of the Excello Food Market is untenable, for these is possibility that the market’s location is in downtown or the tourist resorts where the price of product is much higher than other places. In this case, the price change of the market does not mean the overall price situation. Second, even assuming that milk price has increased all over the Batavia, it does not mean dairy farmers actually earn much more than before. Many other factors such as inflation, farm rent fee, transportation may influence the cost of the milk and finally affect the earning of dairy farmers.

Without a comprehensive investigation of the market, the arguer advises the regulation of retail price and assumes that this will ensure the low price and adequate supply of milk, which I think is hard to achieve. If the farmers have not received excessive profits but will face the regulation, it will definitely affect their enthusiasm to dairy farming, or they may change to other market rather than sell in local places, which is all we are unwilling to see.

To sum up, the arguer comes to a suggestion on hasty assumptions, and then the conclusion is unpersuasive as it stands. To better support it, more evidence need to provide like the actual increase of the milk supply and the final earning of farmers.

choupgheadUID: 2969431

The arguer asserts that the supply of milk has increased dramatically and farmers must have received excessive profits. Actions including regulation retail milk prices should be taken to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk. The arguer cites a series of evidence to support the assertion, while careful examination of the evidence reveals that it lends little credit to the claim.
To begin with, the arguer equal(s) the increasing number of dairy farms throughout the country to that in Batavia, which is unwarranted. We can get no accurate amount of the local dairy farm, let alone the increase or decrease. What’s more, the increase in number cannot for sure lead to the increase in supply without considering differences in technology and size of farms. As a result, whether the supply of milk has increased is open to doubt.
Moreover, due to the fact that the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon, the arguer comes to the conclusion that farmers have received excessive profits, which is groundless. First, the representativeness of the Excello Food Market is untenable, for these is possibility that the market’s location is in downtown or the tourist resorts where the price of product is much higher than other places. In this case, the price change of the market does not mean the overall price situation. Second, even assuming that milk price has increased all over the Batavia,（我个人又说了一点：单价上升但是产量不确定，由于前一段的论述很可能降低了，因而相乘的总收入不见得增加，之后再说即便收入增加，利润不一定增加。） it does not mean dairy farmers actually earn much more than before. Many other factors such as inflation, farm rent fee, transportation may influence the cost of the milk and finally affect the earning of dairy farmers.
（我这里又插了一段，仅做参考：即便利润增加了。十年间的物价水平也会发生变化，更多的利润不一定能够保证更好的生活水平，因而盲目的限价会恶化这种情况。）
Without a comprehensive investigation of the market, the arguer advises the regulation of retail price and assumes that this will ensure the low price and adequate supply of milk, which I think is hard to achieve. If the farmers have not received excessive profits but will face the regulation, it will definitely affect their enthusiasm to dairy farming, or they may change to other market rather than sell in local places, which is all we are unwilling to see.
To sum up, the arguer comes to a suggestion on hasty assumptions, and then the conclusion is unpersuasive as it stands. To better support it, more evidence need to provide like the actual increase of the milk supply and the final earning of farmers.
(除了我文中说明的几点，我们的攻击逻辑差不多，文章语言很规范，像你学习)

McNeilUID: 2272415

Thearguer asserts that the supply of milk has increased dramatically and farmersmust have received excessive profits. Actions including regulation retail milkprices（确实应该这么说么？是的话，我就学习了） should be taken to ensureboth lower prices and an adequate supply of milk. The arguer cites a series ofevidence to support the assertion, while careful examination of the evidencereveals that it lends little credit to the claim.
Tobegin with, the arguer equal the increasing number of dairy farms throughoutthe country to that in Batavia, which is unwarranted. We can get no accurateamount of the local dairy farm, let alone the increase or decrease. What’smore, the increase in number cannot for sure lead to the increase in supplywithout considering differences in technology and size of farms.（这里是攻击前提很好，但是我觉得把to begin with 的内容和what
is more换一下比较好一些。你看的很细致，我开始没有注意数据时全国的数据）
As a result, whether thesupply of milk has increased is open to doubt.
Moreover,due to the fact that the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market hasincreased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon, the arguer comes to theconclusion that farmers have received excessive profits, which is groundless.First, the representativeness of the Excello Food Market is untenable, forthese is possibility that the market’s location is in downtown or the touristresorts where the price of product is much higher than other places. In thiscase, the price change of the market does not mean the overall price situation.Second, even assuming that milk price has increased all over the Batavia, itdoes not mean dairy farmers actually earn much more than before. Many otherfactors such as inflation, farm rent fee, transportation may influence the costof the milk and finally affect the earning of dairy farmers. （内部逻辑也很好）
Withouta comprehensive investigation of the market, the arguer advises the regulationof retail price and assumes that this will ensure the low price and adequatesupply of milk, which I think is hard to achieve. If the farmers have notreceived excessive profits but will face the regulation, it will definitelyaffect their enthusiasm to dairy farming, or they may change to other marketrather than sell in local places, which is all we are unwilling to see.
整体层次很好，很有逻辑，这一段说的有点太浅太薄，其实这一点有很多说的，这里处理的多一点文章比较有深度，否则看起来好像要说的比较少
To sumup, the arguer comes to a suggestion on hasty assumptions, and then theconclusion is unpersuasive as it stands. To better support it, more evidenceneed to provide like the actual increase of the milk supply and the finalearning of farmers.
整体很好，语言也不错，基本成型了
小的细节上需要提高就好了