谁帮我改一下 issue 48啊 我可以回改

muzhihao1UID: 2959675

48 "The study of history places toomuch emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in historywere made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whoseidentities have long been forgotten." [05/50; 06/7]
对历史的研究把太多的重点放在对某些个人上。而历史上一些重大的事件和发展趋势不是由个别名人决定的，而是由那些已经被人们淡忘的社会群体所创造的。





1历史不可能是由某个人创造的

2但是 一些历史人物的存在确实加快甚至改变历史的进程

3所以，在历史的研究中，两者的作用同样重要



When we talk about a special history, suchas the second world war, we will so naturally focus our mind on some significantfigures of this period of history, like Hitler, Churchill, and events promotedby them. But many people think it's groups of common people who have beenforgotten that created our history. For my part, we should recognize thefundamental importance of the common while continuing to insist on the study ofthe celebrities.


History, as a record of the past indefinition, could not be interpreted as the working of the famous few. Anyevent or evolution of crucial significance is directly made by the commonpeople. It's blind to owe the triumph of the second world war to the efforts ofChurchill or Stalin, Ignoring uncountable and ordinary soldiers who risk hislife in the frontlines. Without their strength and unselfish sacrifice,Churchill can not defend the attack of the Nazis. Likewise, we could not regardthe achievement of the renaissance, the most far-reaching event andrevolutionary transformation in our opinions about human, as the amazingpaintings of da Vinci, the exquisite statue of Michelangelo, but the awakeningof many artists, thinkers and architects who are enlightened and struggle forthe release of human nature, even at the price of their lives. Accordingly, wecouldn't lay more emphasis on the fundamental effects of those masses who madeour history by their hands.


However,
the celebrities indeed play an irreplaceable role in accelerating, oreven changing the process of the history. If we study the abolition of slavery,we may marvel at the prejudice and ignorance of people at that time, at thesame time, we can easily find a man distinguished from his generation calledWilliam Wilberforce, an English politician and leader of the campaign againstthe slave trade. He devoted half his life to winning the slave's right, againstalmost the whole Parliament and people who are benefiting from the slave trade.Without his continual strive and steady belief, maybe the slavery will exist inEngland for another several decades. More than the effects of pushing thedevelopment of history, the celebrities can even change it. It's the effects ofMao Zedong, leader of the Communist Party in the 20th century, that changed theformer policies of compromising which will eventually bring the party intoperish in the turning point, thence lay the foundation of the final battle withthe Nationalist party. Therefore, we can not study an event without discoveringhow the celebrities are involved in it.


Having recognized the importance of both inhistory, we should strike a balance of the two parts in studying the history.The existence of the celebrities act as a key to opening the door through whichwe can touch the society they live, the event they participate. Their struggle,their enemy and their achievement can reflect what value we human beings evertreasured and how did it change. Studying the common people can provide us acomprehensive picture about the background upon which some special significantevents and trends happened. The living condition of them is a projection of theeconomy, the social status, and the culture. The relationship of thecelebrities and the common people is just like the flower and the soil. Thebeauty of flowers cannot leave the nutrition of the soil, and the effect of thesoil is represented in the beauty of flowers. In similar manner, losing thesight of the common people, the history only created by the celebrities must beoccasional and chaotic. Ignoring the celebrities, the history can be intangibleand mechanical.


In sum, the history is neither only createdby the celebrities nor by the common people. Each of both owns an indispensableand complementary position in our study about events happened past. Onlyholding fast to them and attaching adequate attention to their effects can webetter understand the history.

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

开头太平淡了，这种开头不是太好。感觉作者中间3个分论点的衔接上也不是很紧密啊，个人觉得老米的六分不是那么好学的，而且Mark的笔锋比较飘逸，前期还是求稳的好。作者可以先自己检查下拼写和语法，不少错误。

个人觉得这篇文章可以联系下masses和celebrities的内在联系

muzhihao1UID: 2959675

2# 咖啡盐 [/b
谢谢你的建议啊。我现在写issue很多时间花在整理思路上面，但是动笔了，写着写着又没思路了。到底怎么去学习破题啊，找资料又花时间又很难有直接的帮助