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[主题活动] 【甚解小组】【TASK 4】范文开头结尾段分析 FROM M [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-2-28 16:14:56 |显示全部楼层
Argument test 6: Silver Screen MoviesDiscuss how well reasoned you find this argument.
The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Silver Screen Movie Production Company.
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, fewer people attended movies produced by Silver Screen during the past year than in any other year. And yet the percentage of generally favorable comments by movie reviewers about specific Silver Screen movies actually increased during this period. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers; so the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Silver Screen should therefore spend more of its budget next year on reaching the public through advertising and less on producing new movies."

SAMPLE-1 (score 6)
The argument presented above is relatively sound, however, the author fails to recognize all the elements necessary to evaluate his situation. The idea that more money be invested in advertising may be a helpful one, but perhaps not because people are unaware of the current reviews. To clarify, it may be necessary to advertise more in order to increase sales, however that could be due to many circumstances such as a decrease in the public's overall attendance, an increase in the cost of movies, or a lack of trust in the opinions of the reviewers.


仍然是开篇阐明态度和接下来分步阐明批判点的满分作文,可以总结出READERS对这种鲜明直接的文章还是比较青睐的。
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发表于 2011-2-28 16:18:43 |显示全部楼层
The advertising director of Silver Screen should lose his job.(态度非常硬朗。) It is clear that his analysis of the decrease in attendance in the past year was incomplete. A better qualified individual might have explored the issue further by doing several different things. First of all, surveys of the general population could provide a clue to the decreased viewership. They may find that people aren't as willing to pay the high prices anymore. A survey may also reveal that people are aware of Silver Screen, but opt not to see the films. An inspection of the nature of the films made by Silver Screen could also hint to the root of the problem. If Silver Screen produces a lot of the same type of movie, then the problem may be that they don't produce enough to appeal to the diverse interests of the population. For instance, if their movies typically contain excessive violence and foul language, parents won't take their children to these films. That is a significant portion of the potential viewing population lost.


直接表态接着开始批判,并引出第一个论点的完整诠释。没有对原题的整体总结,也没有引出题中所给的逻辑。
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发表于 2011-2-28 16:20:56 |显示全部楼层
Although the reasoning in this arguement is logical, the writer failed to consider other reasons for the disparity between the percentage of people attending the company's movie and the percentage of favorable reviews.


同样是直接表明态度,不过依然是一整段结束全文,貌似4分已经是该类作文的最高得分,所以可见分段条理性的重要。
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RE: 【甚解小组】【TASK 4】范文开头结尾段分析 FROM M [修改]

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【甚解小组】【TASK 4】范文开头结尾段分析 FROM M
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