【Daily Writing作文特训小组】蜂鸟的作文贴！TOEFL之旅已结束，谢谢大家！

冰雪蜂鸟UID: 2754485

7月21日
9/11/2009 Do you agree with the following statement? It is only worth watchingmovies that can teach us something about real life?
写的很仓促>< 麻烦狠批！


It is widely accepted that we all live in a real society which is fullof difficulties and everyday trifles that we have to overcome. And governmentand press have the responsibility to educate citizens to have the ability tolive better. While, according to this notion, can we say that we should onlywatch movies that can teach us something about real life? My answer is definitelyno.

Those who assert that movies without teaching function areworthless to watch may believe that this kind of movies are useless for peopleand to watch it is a waste of time and money. What they should do is focustheir attention only on the movie topic that we probably will encounter in ourfuture life. To be true, this action seems to be useful and helpful in our reallife. However, can we draw a telling conclusion that it is this kind of notiontotally narrowed our scope and barricades our steps?

As for me, some seemingly unrealistic movies are always bringing tous more than we can experience in the whole life and thus benefit us more. Itcannot deny that, for an individual, we can only experience a limited number ofthings and we have to seek for other means to make ourselves knowledgeable. A famousHollywood movie “A.I.”, made by Steven Spielberg, conveys a moving story about anartificial intelligence boy and real people. This topic is far away from our reallife, however, this movie, as a kind of literature art, express to us adifferent and new world which we may not have the chance to experience in reallife. Thus, for individual unrealistic movie can breakthrough our normal notionand make ours life vigorous.

Moreover, the movie that cannot teach us in real life is stillworth watching for its value to literature and art and its contribution to thesociety. Another movie “Transformer”, which is famous all over the word and isfar from our daily life either, is a story about car transformers protect peopleand rescue the world. This movie, or fiction movie, was made by advancedcomputer techniques and comes out pretty shaking three-dimension visual effect.Transformer series movie have brought society and world huge profits andreputation. What is more, we are living in the time when movie has become anindustry. We should support our national industry to make our societyprosperous.

Admitted, some instruction function movies are more helpful anduseful for our individual, taking more long-view factors into consideration, unrealisticmovies are sill worthy to watch because they can produce much more benefits forus.

theflyfishUID: 2101420

改好了。
今天这组同学的文章写得都比我好，压力好大。

wendy316UID: 2566643

改好咯，亲，注意查收，给个好评哦。

jennifersoUID: 3132548

It is widely accepted that we all live in a real society which is full of difficulties and everyday trifles that we have to overcome. And（and无意义，删除） government and press have the responsibility to educate citizens to have the ability to live better. While, according to this notion, can we say that we should only watch movies that can teach us something about real life?（这两句似乎没有任何逻辑关系） My answer is definitely no.3 v- c: y& @" _+ O

Those who assert that movies without teaching（educational may be better）
function are worthless to watch may believe that this kind of movies are useless for people and to watch（for people to watch, no and）(此句过长) it is a waste of time and money. What they should do is focus their attention only on the movie topic that we probably will encounter in ourfuture life（be probably encountered in our future life）. To be true, this action (what action, 指代不清晰，会引起歧义，因为前面有两种action,一个是看有教育意义的，一个是看无教育意义的)seems to be useful and helpful in our reallife. However, can we draw a telling conclusion that it is这个it is 可以删除
this kind of notion totally narrowed our scope and barricades our steps?7 m) r4 d# s, C5 h# S, ~+ @8 ]( N
. t. x: p& U  |$ d3 L  ~1 w
As for me, some seemingly unrealistic movies are always bringing to (TO 删除)us more than we can experience in the whole life and thus benefit us more(意思与前半句重复). It cannot deny that, for an individual, we （单复数一致问题）can only experience a limited number of things and we have to seek for other means to make ourselves knowledgeable. A famousHollywood movie “A.I.”, made by Steven Spielberg, conveys a moving story about anartificial intelligence boy and real people. This topic is far away from our reallife, however, this movie, as a kind of literature art, express to us (give us)a different and new world which we may not have the chance to experience in reallife. Thus, for individual(删除) unrealistic movie can breakthrough our normal notion and make ours life vigorous. 4 Z% v- h% w2 N% m/ Z% [) B

Moreover, the movie that cannot teach us in real life is still worth watching for its value to literature and art and its contribution to the society. Another movie “Transformer”, which is famous all over the word and is far from our daily life either, is a story about car transformers protect people and rescue the world. This movie, or fiction movie, was made by advanced computer techniques and comes out pretty shaking three-dimension visual effect. Transformer series movie have brought society and world huge profits and reputation. What is more, we are living in the time when movie has become an industry. We should support our national industry to make our society prosperous.* B4 V3 G' n! w

Admitted, some instruction function movies are more helpful and useful for our individual, taking more long-view factors into consideration, unrealistic movies are sill worthy to watch because they can produce much more benefits for us.(后半句和前半句表达的是同一个意思？重复说了)

言寺林夕UID: 2757390

加油！

冰雪蜂鸟UID: 2754485

7月22日作业
综合写作TOP11     第一次写综合><

The speaker argues thatthe declination of literature is not a negative phenomenon. She provides astark contrast to the unwarranted, and wholly negative, statement provided inthe article. Rather than blame the people and audience, the speaker suggests thatthe culture is changed and authors should responsible for it.

The speaker challengesthe article's claim that reading fewer books leads to the missing out onimportant benefits such as exercise our imaginations, help other people andbroaden our horizon. She believes although literature may have some valuablecharacteristics, it does not mean literature is of great quality and canstimulate intellectual. In addition, other book categories, such as Science,History and Political, are of much greater quality and creatively that can alsohelp people become knowledgeable and intelligent.

The speaker also takesissue with the argument that spending time on entertainment, which used tospend on reading, cause culture missing. Instead, she demonstrates that cultureis changing in the ever-accelerating world and can be expressed in othervarious forms. We cannot say that watching a classic music concert and educatedmovie is a waste of time. Although people read fewer books, the culture is keptand expressed.

Finally, the speakerdisagrees with the writer of the article that a lack of audience is the mainreason of the tendency of reading less. Instead, poor authors shouldresponsible for it because their language is not understandable. Thus, readingless literature has not that much negative effect as the article shows.

冰雪蜂鸟UID: 2754485

48# wendy316

谢谢，好评的~~

冰雪蜂鸟UID: 2754485

50# 言寺林夕

哈哈谢谢，你也加油！

羊小咩89UID: 2848665

The speaker argues that the declination of literature is not a negative phenomenon.（貌似lecture里面没有说这个观点吧） She provides as tark contrast to the unwarranted, and wholly negative, statement provided in the article. Rather than blame (blaming)the people and audience, the speaker suggests that the culture is changed and authors should responsible for it.( ^5 @+ k' V$ V

The speaker challenges the article's claim that reading fewer books leads to the missing out on important benefits such as exercise our imaginations, help(helping) other people and broaden our horizon. She believes although literature may have some valuable characteristics, it does not mean literature is of great quality and can stimulate intellectual. In addition, other book categories, such as Science, History and Political, are of much greater quality and creatively (creativity) that can also help people become knowledgeable and intelligent.' W# O7 A3 M5 _" U) j7 ~# ]

1 s5 t1 c0 C: L$ XThe speaker also takes issue with the argument that spending time on entertainment, which used to spend on reading,(to) cause culture missing. Instead, she demonstrates that culture is changing in the ever-accelerating world and can be expressed in other various forms. We cannot say that watching a classic music concert and(or) educated movie is a waste of time. Although people read fewer books, the culture is kept and expressed.（这个应该也是加上去的个人观点吧，lecture中并没有提到）

) o, Z7 O% h0 T2 a2 B3 QFinally, the speaker disagrees with the writer of the article that a lack of audience is the main reason of the tendency of reading less. Instead, poor authors should (be) responsible for it because their language is not understandable. (有点歧义，其实主要原因是intended to be difficult to understand)Thus, reading less literature has not that much negative effect as the article shows.(没有必要show ur opinion，只用说与reading中所持观点相反就可以了)

ps.麻烦下次上传时至少先把词间的断句弄好吧。。。实在是很难看清喔

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1286661&page=1&extra= 我的在这里，各种求教 O(∩_∩)O

冰雪蜂鸟UID: 2754485

7月22日
6/26/2010 Do you agree with the following statement? People whohave learned many different skills are more likely to succeed than those whofocus on learning only one skill.

JeniusUID: 2964631

Over the past several years,more and more widely specialize(specialized) talents have been required in society.Carefully(Careful) observation can find that holding(觉得不是太妥，换一个词呢？) various skills are one of common characteristics those people have. Following this trend, I am incline(inclined) to believe that learning more different skills can promote one’s career success.
Those who assert that people who focus on one skills(skill) are more likely to have a prosperous future may believe that focusing on only one field can dig in a specific area deeper due to the limited energy one may has(have). What those people should do is trying to be more professional and skillful (in this area and )only in this area. Can we draw a telling conclusion that it is this notion limited one’s scope and barricaded one’s step?
As for me, a multi-skilled background is more helpful for my future career. A multi-skilled background can help one has access to different fields and, what is more important, it means one are(is) knowledgeable and have(has) better understanding of the task appointed to his or her. A friend of mine has focused on his major in literature for his entire college time with little basic science courses. After graduate, he got an internship in Electronic field. Due to his limited knowledge about other area, he did not make any sense about Electronic and technical term and of course have(had) great difficulties in doing his work. Finally the company did not offer him the job. Hence, more knowledge on(in) other field will widely broaden somebody’s future road.
Moreover,possess(possessing) various skills can not only benefit individual but also the society. In scientific research, cross field research, which is more and more demanded in the society, is a strong force that drives the scientific and technology advance. My professor, who has Computer Science, Psychology and Linguistic degree, used to do a research related to Web Science. She implemented one of experiment(the experiments) by psychology method. Without doubt, it was a breakthrough in Web Science and she(was觉得reward后面加success 有点不当) also rewarded a great success and reputation. I cannot help myself to say(saying) that to learn more skills is compelling for me.
To be admitted, one can have a deeper understanding when he or she only focus on one field and thus making great contribution, learning more skills can bring about more benefit for us individual to success and also the society.


第一次改··不对的地方还请lz指正，探讨~~

JeniusUID: 2964631

@冰雪蜂鸟~昨天这篇综合还没做到~做到了再来看啦~~

冰雪蜂鸟UID: 2754485

56# Jenius

我看了一下，你独立写作的分组应该是“超级猴子/Jenius/kagomerw”啊，不应该是改我的呀>< 不过没有关系啦，谢谢你。我一会也去改你的！

JeniusUID: 2964631

56# Jenius

我看了一下，你独立写作的分组应该是“超级猴子/Jenius/kagomerw”啊，不应该是改我的呀>< 不过没有关系啦，谢谢你。我一会也去改你的！
冰雪蜂鸟 发表于 2011-7-23 21:03

原来是这样，一排一个分组啊！！！我以为只分了一个组····我错了···混乱了

theflyfishUID: 2101420

改好了。优点是很流畅，读起来很顺。但是语法错误不少，特别是词性变化方面。