【Daily Writing作文特训小组】Anne的作文贴！我弱的不得了，欢迎大家狂拍砖！！！

幕阳素素UID: 3025800

不好意思有点晚，下午没网费了刚交上。

JeniusUID: 2964631

happinessvivi 803独立写作.doc (17 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2011-8-6 00:03:26 上传

下载次数: 5

after90sundaeUID: 3132327

改好~

佳佳LOVE舞UID: 3050951

改好

julijoneUID: 2843727

不错 欢迎回改

happinessviviUID: 2837177

806独立+综合

xieqy0326UID: 2653877

我来了~~

点点vickyUID: 2957030

修改完啦

点点vickyUID: 2957030

我觉得写的太多啦，只有20分钟哎。简简单单表达一下就行，不过我写有点少，可以看那个官方指南有这篇文章的范围，写作部分介绍的时候用的就是这一篇。

米陌UID: 2663269

08、06的独立写作改好了~加油~我是英文系统，下载的中文文件名都是乱码见谅啊~

happinessviviUID: 2837177

808综合+独立

season08UID: 2667789

41# happinessvivi

hey~8.8 独立作文改好了哈~

season08UID: 2667789

你的综合写作我下下来之后是word里面是乱码。。。。。。。。

草莓刨冰UID: 3141036

20100312NA Agree or disagree? If children want to do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies.

Doing well in school and watching TV programs or movies shouldn’t be a problem that children and parents have to choose one of them. Even if parents limit the hours of watching television, it doesn’t mean to that children will make great progress in school. Clearly, I don’t agree with the statement.

Generally speaking, I consider that watching television is one way that could help teach children. It’s There is no doubt that television media have developed into a mature stage nowadays. (此处最好两句分开。)Various kinds of programs and movies are not only compelling, but they are also profound.(我不清楚这句是否有问题，但是感觉读起来有点别扭。如果是我我会写Various kinds of programs and movies are not only compelling, but also profound.因为not only是加在are后面的，所以我感觉后半句应该没有are吧。) They can help children get more knowledge and improve their imagination. For example, the interesting cartoons are full of original idea, through which children could acquire happy happiness and the ability of imagination at the same time; and for the programs about animals and mysterious affairs, they are scientific and lively, children could get to know more useful information through watching them. Many things in the world are associated with each other, such as television media and education. (这句话和上面的内容衔接不紧密，感觉是突然冒出来的一句。两小句对调一下可能会好些.Just like television media and education, many things in the world are associated with each other.) As long as children use them in a proper way, they will benefit a lot from them indeed. (这句话的them,they,them指代的内容一直在变，有点混乱，虽然可以看懂，但是得看两遍才能看懂。建议改一下)

What’s more, supposing that children always keep learning and seldom stop to do some other things, like watching TV. (这句话没有谓语呀…可以把后面那句和这句合为一句话。What’s more, supposing that children always keep learning and seldom stop to do some other things, like watching TV, they will be tired.) How tired they will be! And they can’t be effective and healthy by in this way. They also may may also be negative about learning because that they couldn’t feel any interests through this incorrect learning method. As parents, they are the important people who can enlighten their children deeply. Parents ought to(很好的替换了should~) think, if they are asked to limit the hours of watching television by their bosses in order to assure they can be effective in the work. Would they feel stressful and resistant? The pressure can’t remove in time and the mood changed to be more and more negative. Their working quality is hardly to be improved. And children will face the same situation as them theirs. Watching TV programs and movies is one approach children can relax. It’s unnecessary to be forbidden because it’s a healthy relaxing method.

Finally, such a behavior of parents may lead to bad influence to the relationship with their children. Children probably feel that their parents don’t understand them and consider they can hardly communicate with their parents because of the generation gap. A number of families have a same puzzle that children are estranged from parents as they are growing up. The one of the reasons can be concluded that children consider their parents don’t understand them anymore, such as limiting the hours of watching television in order to compel them to learn again and again, learn and learn. A positive relationship between parents and children should be run by heart. Why parents started to understand their parents from throwing away such a ridiculous require?

In sum, I disagree with parents helping children improve their study by using such a method. (结尾段有点少，略显匆忙。建议结尾段写两三句话，和开头长度差不多，这样在整体结构上会比较好看。)

happinessviviUID: 2837177

43# season08

额，你再试一次，我刚才下了一次，可以正常显示文章啊。。。