寄托天下
楼主: happinessvivi

[作文] 【Daily Writing作文特训小组】Anne的作文贴!我弱的不得了,欢迎大家狂拍砖!!! [复制链接]

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
522
注册时间
2010-6-18
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2011-8-9 20:19:33 |显示全部楼层
809 integrated+independent :

809integratedwriting.doc

12.04 KB, 下载次数: 4

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
522
注册时间
2010-6-18
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2011-8-9 22:01:48 |显示全部楼层
Season, 我贴出来了 :D

The article states that there are some doubts with the "the woman's face" painting that suggest it could not be a work by Rembrandt. However, the professor disagrees with the standpoint of the article and also shows some evidence to strength his own view.

First, the article asserts that Rembrandt was known for his attention to the details of his subjects' clothing, so he wouldn't have been guilty of such an inconsistency. But the professor says the fur collar was adder by another person later and it serves the way to increase the value of this portrait. And this fur collar makes the portrait seem formal.

Additionally, the article supposes that Rembrandt was a master of painting light and shadow and he wouldn't make such an error in the painting.  The professor uses some light knowledge to further explain this part. He says, if we remove that added fur collar, the light would illuminate the face, and in fact, the light and shadow fit together realistically.

Finally, the professor judges it's incorrect that Rembrandt never use a panel glued together in this way from several pieces of wood. As we admitted the fur collar is added later, the extra wood in the panel is enlarged later, too. Meanwhile, we also have found the piece of wood in the original form of Portrait of a woman is from the very same tree as the wood panel used for another painting by Rembrandt.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
153
注册时间
2011-7-30
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2011-8-9 22:07:15 |显示全部楼层
808integrated-happinessvivi revised by 草莓刨冰.doc (15.23 KB, 下载次数: 6)

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
402
注册时间
2009-7-19
精华
0
帖子
3
发表于 2011-8-9 22:59:29 |显示全部楼层
47# happinessvivi

The article states that there are some doubts with the "the woman's face" painting that suggest it could not be a work by Rembrandt. However, the professor disagrees with the standpoint of the article and also shows some evidence to strength his(讲话的是个女的吧我记得) own view.(要点没列全哇,质疑的三点和反驳的三点要在第一段列全哦) [7 K5 u' F- t4 i

# L; p- m" `/ u) L4 o; X$ g% j5 NFirst, the article asserts that Rembrandt was known for his attention to the details of his subjects' clothing(真的说了这句话??呃。。我没听到哎,我只听到了说这幅画本身有inconsistent,而没说rembrandt注重这个), so he wouldn't have been guilty of such an inconsistency. But the professor says the fur collar was added by another person later and it serves the way to increase the value of this portrait. And this fur collar makes the portrait seem formal(我听到的貌似是protrait of formal lady).
6 d% E! ?$ T: ~' b$ c2 [( V7 W2 B
Additionally, the article supposes that Rembrandt was a master of painting light and shadow and he wouldn't make such an error in the painting(点出具体的error是啥会不会比较好?).  The professor uses some light knowledge to further explain this part. He says, if we remove that added fur collar, the light would illuminate the face(少了一个要点,说是本来的那个颜色是simple light color所以才有有反光到脸上), and in fact, the light and shadow fit together realistically.4 V. B7 ]1 y' ~( X, ^9 o
8 j9 l8 K- |" R  \; Z' {/ [
Finally, the professor judges it's incorrect that Rembrandt never use a panel glued together in this way from several pieces of wood(这句话木有读懂,外加貌似曲解了原文中的意思?). As we admitted the fur collar is added later, the extra wood in the panel is enlarged(这个词用的不是太好,听力中说的是那些多的木头加在了原来木头的sides和top为了让这个画显得更valuable and grand) later, too. Meanwhile, we also have found the piece of wood in the original form of Portrait of a woman is from the very same tree as the wood panel used for another painting by Rembrandt.

加强细节的一些描述,和再加个结尾小小总结下就完美了!加油!

PS:你给我改的那篇作文我下下来也是乱码呢,能在我的帖子上再贴一下吗?谢谢啦!https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1292662&page=2#pid1775427532

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
522
注册时间
2010-6-18
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2011-8-9 23:07:23 |显示全部楼层
809独立+综合写作 :D

809independent.doc

25 KB, 下载次数: 7

809integratedwriting.doc

12.04 KB, 下载次数: 5

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
272
注册时间
2011-7-22
精华
0
帖子
2
发表于 2011-8-10 12:57:04 |显示全部楼层
The article states that dinosaurs have beenproved that they were endotherms. However, the professor in the lecturedisagree with this standpoint, he also shows three evidences to argue againstthe article at the same time.


First, the article asserts that dinosaursare endotherms because their fossils have been discovered in polar regions. Butthe professor disputes it and explains that the polar regions were warmer inthe past than today. And when the polar regions become colder, dinosaursinclined to hibernate or migrate to warmer places in the cold days.


Additionally, the article supposes thatdinosaurs are dinosaurs because their legs are underneath the body. In theopposite side, the professor says the legs of dinosaurs are just used to supporttheir weight and large size.
It doesn'tmean to they are endotherms.


Finally, the professor considers it'sincorrect that dinosaurs can be proved as endothermy by their Haversian canals.He comes up with the idea that dinosaurs also have growth rings in their bodieswhich can be seen as the signal of non-endothermy. Plus, the growth processwould become slow or even stop because of the cold weather condition, it canprove dinosaurs are different from endothermy. (咦最后一段有关reading的内容呢?)



感觉综合写作没啥大问题,就看听力的要点能覆盖多少了...

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
40
寄托币
896
注册时间
2010-6-30
精华
0
帖子
115

US-applicant

发表于 2011-8-10 16:35:26 |显示全部楼层
写得真棒

改happinessvivi 0809 独立.doc

30.5 KB, 下载次数: 6

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
289
注册时间
2010-10-14
精华
0
帖子
2
发表于 2011-8-10 21:05:17 |显示全部楼层
对不起,我迟到了,才批好,楼主的独立可以,不过综合让人遗憾啊。有些错误真的不应该啊。

809independent 愤怒公爵.doc

33 KB, 下载次数: 3

809integratedwriting 愤怒公爵.doc

13.31 KB, 下载次数: 3

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
522
注册时间
2010-6-18
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2011-8-10 21:21:27 |显示全部楼层
对不起,我迟到了,才批好,楼主的独立可以,不过综合让人遗憾啊。有些错误真的不应该啊。
愤怒公爵 发表于 2011-8-10 21:05


你的批改让我收获很多~~~3q!!!:D

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
522
注册时间
2010-6-18
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2011-8-10 21:22:35 |显示全部楼层
52# julijone

今天来迟了,现在去看你的文章~~:)

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
522
注册时间
2010-6-18
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2011-8-11 01:01:28 |显示全部楼层
810独立+综合:

810independent.doc

25.5 KB, 下载次数: 8

810integrated.doc

23 KB, 下载次数: 9

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
4
寄托币
321
注册时间
2009-6-17
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2011-8-11 10:05:48 |显示全部楼层
综合,改好了

810integrated(happiness).doc

25 KB, 下载次数: 4

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
402
注册时间
2009-7-19
精华
0
帖子
3
发表于 2011-8-11 12:34:46 |显示全部楼层
56# happinessvivi

8.10 独立
加油!

810independent revised by season08.doc

30.5 KB, 下载次数: 4

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
272
注册时间
2011-7-22
精华
0
帖子
2
发表于 2011-8-11 14:34:45 |显示全部楼层
8.10 integrated

810integrated.doc

28.5 KB, 下载次数: 2

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
272
注册时间
2011-7-22
精华
0
帖子
2
发表于 2011-8-12 00:01:52 |显示全部楼层
看下我的8.10号的吧...时间错了真抱歉...麻烦了
今天写完后补上昨天的修改

810independent-1.doc

30.5 KB, 下载次数: 1

使用道具 举报

RE: 【Daily Writing作文特训小组】Anne的作文贴!我弱的不得了,欢迎大家狂拍砖!!! [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
【Daily Writing作文特训小组】Anne的作文贴!我弱的不得了,欢迎大家狂拍砖!!!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1291428-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部