个人终极PS，请狠狠地拍(后面加上了修订版的，多谢大家，请继续批下去)

754860166UID: 3042793

75# 754860166 顶顶顶顶顶顶

ZTreeUID: 3165682

73# ZTree  
能对这段话提出些具体点的优化建议吗？
A synchronous radar responder, which can radiate the radio wave to simulate the reflected signal in certain distance for the testing of this radar,  ...
754860166 发表于 2011-12-19 17:16

A synchronous radar responder, which can radiate the radiowave to simulate the reflected signal in certain distance for the testing ofthis radar , became my recent completed project there. Itwas my first time to deal with such a complex radiation system. To putforward the design for this radiation system required fully comprehension toradar system and radio wave propagation over rough sea. So Iexamined related vital knowledge after class despite of its physical and mentalchallenge （为什么非要抱住challenge这词不放呢，直接说你该学期有多忙，比如同时上着4门很难的加起来每周16学时的专业必修课之类的）during my busiest semester. The most enjoyable thing in these days was toimmerse myself into the sea a dozen of relative books and papers, suchas Leslie W. Barclay’s Propagation ofRadiowaves and Hamish Meikle’s ModernRadar Systems. Then I was in contemplation of the computernight after night without fatigue （没有人会不累的） to complete the PCB for mydesign and debug the control program. The wave form in oscilloscope touched onmy nerve, and brought me every excitement and depression. excitingand depressing. Failure cannot be avoided all the time,but under Prof. B' instruction I debugged the system patiently until I wason cloud nine to see the correct wave form showing up in the oscilloscope. Inthis project, I programed to generate a linear frequency-modulated continuouswave with DDS and built marching ciruit to radiate this 200-mw signal away fromthe antenna. It is a valuable asset in my life to undertake thisbiggest project ever in my work. Participation in this projecttaught me not only how to obtain necessary knowledge by myself, but also how toface and overcome the more than knowledge about Radio WavePropagation and how to build circuits and program for the DDS. Mostimportantly, I learned although there may be considerabletechnical, mental, and physical challenges in research a extremlydifficult project, I can conquer all of them by my energy and persistence.
多说具体的事，少用大词。所有灰色部分或者因为多余，或者表达方式不好。最好删去。

assassin950UID: 3349799

看了前三段，没耐心看下去了。。。真心的。。

璞哥UID: 3385457

欠缺形象，形象就是具体的描写，我巴拉巴拉巴拉，我巴拉巴拉巴拉巴拉什么的句式很小儿科。你中文不会也是这么写的吧？你去看看论文用词写法啊，更有价值的。

Queenie2013UID: 3367437

感觉楼主很强大了啊，关键是很有勇气也很谦逊，加油~好运

cherrycakeUID: 2835659

MARK

elavantUID: 3359589

受益匪浅

xiaoniao123UID: 2541605

这个帖子很好，学习了很多PS怎么写的只是啊！楼主加油！

zhlifa08UID: 3397298

嗯嗯，学到很多，最后lz出去了么

PLL-KELLYUID: 3366009

额...请问楼主是不是先用中文构思的然后再用英文动笔写的呢？因为整篇PS看起来的感觉就是这样的= =
虽然我连雅思都还没考，不过我们课上老师有说PS这类的写法...所以我个人觉得楼主写得很虚。如果你就这样交上去的话，加分的希望很渺茫...众多申请者中最不缺的就是大牛...你这个又没亮点又不能match到导师喔，成绩好啊谁的成绩都好啊不好就不申了啊所以会死的很惨的囧= =