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[作文] 鸟儿的 Daily Writing, since Jan.27th [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-1-27 21:23:17 |显示全部楼层
鸟儿继续卖力的练飞,

是因为离参天还很遥远。


加油!GTER!

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发表于 2012-1-27 21:25:39 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 鸟儿 于 2012-1-27 21:31 编辑

1月27日 101203NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.
第一次写作文,前辈们多多拍砖! 附件在本文下楼,可下载。

Obviously, it is our parents that guide us, cultivate us and even help us in the process of our growing up. It seems that our father and mother are the only persons we can absolutely rely on in the whole life. However, they do not bear the responsibility to help us to do our own work. Rather, they should encourage us to complete our work independently.

On one hand, it is necessary for us to learn to get rid of the reliance on parents as early as possible, for no parents can live with children forever. No matter how unwilling we are, we cannot obtain the magic power to prevent dearest parents from aging. No matter how reluctant our parents are, they cultivate us to see us fly high and far one day. If the ultimate goal is to release rather than charge, why not provide more opportunities to practice our skills before the take-off? That is to say, it's wise for parents to entitle the children the valuable rights to handle things by themselves, which is contributable to their future success, and examples as such are numerous.

On the other, too much help from parents will dramatically reduces the learning opportunities of problem-solving skills for children. Set riding a bicycle for instance. It's not a piece of cake for a little child to handle a comparable big vehicle machine such as a bicycle. They even dare not sit on it without the help from parents. But if laying too much reliance on their careful parents who hold the bike firmly, children will lose the chance to keep balance themselves. What's worse, when some parents see their beloved child fall down, they will come up immediately, and stop them from riding bikes again in order not to have more injuries. Of course, the result is obviously---the parents will play the role to bike, the children only to sit on a bike. Just as the old saying goes, nothing venture, nothing gain.

Anyway, parents’ help are part and parcel of children's growing up, but they should never go to extremes. The best help is an encouragement that arouses the children's interest in seeking solutions by themselves. Dear parents, teach us how to fish rather than give us a fish!

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发表于 2012-1-27 21:37:25 |显示全部楼层
我悲剧了。


没有添加附件的功能!!!!


大家说我级别不够,我得多聒噪聒噪啊。



那只能麻烦这次帮我改作文的好孩纸,改完用附件传给我吧。。。这里或者Q(313013913)都行!Thx!

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发表于 2012-1-28 11:31:16 |显示全部楼层
没事... 你混混多回复回复就可以传附件了...我q上给你把
Keep going!!!

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发表于 2012-1-28 22:41:38 |显示全部楼层
Thx!!!叶子~

那你的作业在哪里啊,版上没见你更新地址啊??

4# 阿叶

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发表于 2012-1-28 22:45:10 |显示全部楼层
128 110115NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main role of the university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.


The university study, which is more specific and through, provides the students a sound step for further advancement. Accordingly, what role the university processor playin some extentinfluences the direction in the students' future career. Whether to focus on educating students or conducting research is worth concerning by every professor. And my personal stand goes to both.

On one hand, it is every teacher's responsibility to educate the students well about the finest knowledge in history, in the world, about the efficient method to solve problems they encounter. No professor can avoid this basic duty as a teacher in school. Although it is common in university that some professor just devotes whole heart into their research with the help of a decent fund from government, this is viewed quite weird in my eyes as he is in university, a holy palace for students to seek knowledge, rather than some research institute. If he is only keen on research, why not go to the Academy of Research directly? Otherwise, a professor having nothing to do with education is really of little influence among students.

On the other hand, education is progressing simultaneously with the fast development of society. As we know, the knowledge the students gained from school also needs updating constantly from conducting research by the professor. That's the reason why one can figure out numerous research programmes in the renowned universities, and why they finance the professors' research which makes up a large portion of the overall expenditure. Instead of distracting the professor from teaching, the latest research result can serve as the best teaching material that is more practical and progressive than that in textbooks. And many researches led by universities such as Harvard, MIT, Columbia and such, really contribute a lot to the scientific advancement in the world. As a student, I often benefit from reading articles regarding some impressive research results which either correct my previous false concept in mind or bring about brand new knowledge.


In brief, what the educating and researching to the professor are as left hands and right hands to a person. In other words, the professor cannot ignore the importance of neither. Considering the actual needs of students, only combining both perfectly by professor can he achieve the ultimate goal to educate the most competitive talents suitable for the world progress.


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发表于 2012-1-28 22:46:39 |显示全部楼层
高级回复里面依旧没有上传附件功能。我太弱了。。。
继续辛苦大家了

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发表于 2012-1-28 23:55:18 |显示全部楼层
这篇不错呀,观点很好啊  两面说 最有东西说了  这种写法放在考试时候写 会很有优势啊。。。基于我是打酱油的,所以改的不好可以提意见哇。1月28日 110115NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main role of the university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.

The university study is more specific and through, providing—那插入语WORD说不对 所以改掉 the students a sound step for further advancement. Accordingly, what role (does) the university processor play,in(to) some extent,influences the direction in the students' future career. Whether to focus on educating students or conducting research is worth concerning by every professor. And my personal stand goes to both. On (the) one hand, it is every teacher's responsibility to educate the students well about the finest knowledge in history, in the world—这个词组不对难道你想用的是in other word, about the efficient method to solve problems they encounter. No professor can avoid this basic duty as a teacher in school. Although it is common in university that some professor just devotes whole heart into their research with the help of a decent fund from government, this is viewed quite weird—是不是有点口语化啊 你应该说不合理unreasonable 严谨一点吧 in my eyes as he is in university, a holy palace for students to seek knowledge, rather than some research institute. If he is only keen on research, why not go to the Academy of Research directly?—感觉你很生气,为了下一段和这一段有关联,最好别把路堵死。 Otherwise, a professor having nothing to do with education is really of little influence among students.这段虽然和下一段讲的相反,但是你中间可以来个过度句--如果教授的主要目的是做研究那么他应该选择专业的研究机构,或者是继续学习,而不是在学校。但是,在学校里做一些研究也是有必要的。
On the other hand, education is progressing simultaneously with the fast development of society. As we know, the knowledge the students gained from school also needs updating constantly from conducting research by the professor. That's the reason why one can figure out numerous research programmes—这个用被动吧 in the renowned universities, and why they finance the professors' research which makes up a large portion of the overall expenditure. Instead of distracting the professor from teaching, the latest research result can serve as the best teaching material that is more practical and progressive than that in textbooks. And many researches led by universities such as Harvard, MIT, Columbia and such, really contribute a lot to the scientific advancement in the world. As a student, I often benefit from reading articles regarding some impressive research results which either correct my previous false concept in mind or bring about brand new knowledge.

In brief, what the educating and researching to the professor are as left hands and right hands to a person. In other words, the professor cannot ignore the importance of neither—双重否定便肯定了,这句话翻译成教授可以忽略两者重要性。注意啊. Considering the actual needs of students, only combining both perfectly by professor can he achieve the ultimate goal to educate the most competitive talents suitable for the world progress..

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发表于 2012-1-29 00:14:03 |显示全部楼层
太感动了,第一次收到feedback. 谢谢!我把你的修改粘到WORD看了好几遍~
然后有几点小问题不太明白,想继续和你探讨的:

1. 第一句为什么不对? 我也发现下划线了,但是我不知道错在哪了。
2. what role (does) the university processor playin(to) some extentinfluences the ………………
     我想说role influence………  前面是主语,一定要does?
      in some extent   在一定程度上
3.on one hand 一方面    没the 吧???

Thanks again,I benefit a lot from your advice!!!

8# lovely_hippo123

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发表于 2012-1-29 00:20:03 |显示全部楼层
既然你用word修改的,怎么不粘贴word给我。有颜色看起来方便点呢~
我现在坐等GTER授予我上传附件功能!

8# lovely_hippo123

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发表于 2012-1-29 10:49:02 |显示全部楼层
写好了...昨天一直有事写好了没来得及传~抱歉啊...你的我今天会改好的
Keep going!!!

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发表于 2012-1-29 11:05:52 |显示全部楼层
嗯 改好了

小鸟 1.27 已修改.doc

28 KB, 下载次数: 12

Keep going!!!

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发表于 2012-1-29 13:39:33 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 西雅图黄页 于 2012-1-29 13:43 编辑

The university study, which is more specific and through, provides the students a sound step for further advancement. (觉得这句没问题啊,不知道为什么划线) Accordingly, what role the university processor play,in some extent,influences the direction in the students' future career. Whether to focus on educating students or conducting research is worth concerning by every professor. And my personal stand goes to both.

On one hand, it is every teacher's responsibility to educate the students well about the finest knowledge in history, in the world (什么是finest knowledge? 可以说渊博的知识:a wide range of knowledge), about the efficient method to solve problems they encounter (两个并列成分中间加and). No professor can avoid this basic duty as a teacher in school. Although it is common in university that some professor just devotes whole heart (devote oneself 词组) into their research with the help of a decent fund from government, this is viewed quite weird in my eyes (可以说from my perspective, it is unreasonable在我看来这是不合情理的) as he is in university, a holy palace for students to seek knowledge, rather than some research institute. If he is only keen on research, why not go to the Academy of Research directly? Otherwise, a professor having nothing to do with education is really of little influence among students.

On the other hand, education is progressing simultaneously with the fast development of society. As we know, the knowledge the students gained from school also needs updating constantly from conducting research by the professor. That's the reason why one can figure out numerous research programmes (programs) in the renowned universities (人们可以在名校里搞定众多研究的原因是学生需要最新研究来update? 只能说有机会做研究是因为。。。。吧), and why they (指谁) finance the professors' research which makes up a large portion of the overall expenditure. Instead of distracting the professor from teaching, the latest research result can serve as the best teaching material that is more practical and progressive than that in textbooks. And many researches led by universities such as Harvard, MIT, Columbia and such, really contribute a lot to the scientific advancement in the world. As a student, I often benefit from reading articles regarding some impressive research results which either correct my previous false concept in mind or bring about brand new knowledge.

In brief, what the educating and researching to the professor are as left hands and right hands to a person. In other words, the professor cannot ignore the importance of neither (both). Considering the actual needs of students, only combining both perfectly by professor can he achieve the ultimate goal to educate the most competitive talents suitable for the world progress (Only by combining both perfectly can professor achieve the ultimate goal…..)
以我的水平也找不出什么大问题,楼主句型和词汇多样化挺好的,但是有些搭配可能有问题觉得有些拗口。。。多注意单复数,加油!

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发表于 2012-1-29 14:11:27 |显示全部楼层
1.in some extent 和 to some extent 的用法不同,这里是插入语,感觉一般都用to some extent.看来是我习惯使然。sorry。
2.好吧,on the one hand 与 on one hand 一样,并且都可以与on the other hand 连用,我用习惯了on the one hand 使然,sorry。
3.还有第一句The university study is more specific and through--through才两个音,不能用more 连吧?
4.2. what role (does) the university processor play,in(to) some extent,influences the ……………… 为什么我 就是觉得加个DOES 顺好多啊。。。哈哈哈。看来还是习惯使然。好吧。我接受错误。哈哈
5.我以前帮人该用word 粘上来红色字体又变为黑色 而且还有乱码,索性就不用颜色我,我默认为我的WORD太高级啦。我觉得不传附件也挺好的,这样我可以一眼看出你写的东西,省得还要下载,麻烦啊。--建议啦。

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发表于 2012-1-29 14:59:28 |显示全部楼层
谢谢叶子的建议。收尾呼应,这个建议很好!

你的作文还在我这。QQ你不在,传不过去,先贴你那了,有点乱,上Q了吼我一下。

12# 阿叶

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RE: 鸟儿的 Daily Writing, since Jan.27th [修改]

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鸟儿的 Daily Writing, since Jan.27th
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