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[未归类] 【独立写作】sodapeng 托福写作 [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-3-1 14:56:21 |只看该作者
作文改好啦~~~
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发表于 2012-3-1 16:20:51 |只看该作者
2 29 324机经作文& g: q" H: n0 ]7 J! H8 Y
In the way of our life, people often encounter many kinds of difficulties and make various mistakes, just like the old saying goes: no man is perfect. Adults may treat these difficulties and mistakes as the precious experience in their life journey, but what about the children whose mental
(mental作名词讲是精神病患的意思) is not mature enough to confront with(习惯用语是be confronted with,主动表被动,用主动的话直接后面加对象,因为它是及物动词) the difficulties and mistakes alone, thus some people claim that parents should avoid the children from making mistakes(似乎没这个固定用法:avoid sb to do sth) .Nonetheless, in my point of view, parents should allow their children to make mistake and let them learn from it.

Making mistakes is a way for children to recognize their deficiency which helps children narrow the gap through the improvement(为啥我不是很懂这句的意思?… ). Children may get a wrong answer of an academic problem because of misunderstanding of a relevant theory; they may be rude to others because of being unaware of how to respect others; Children may cheat in exams to get high marks because of (三个because of体现词汇变换的话可能效果好点)lacking of integrity. Only from making mistakes, can children aware of their deficiency and correct the mistakes themselves and also, at the meantime, learn from them. Children may make out the theory deeply, be polite to everyone and work diligently to do well in the examinations, from all these mistakes they have made.; U; _/ b; ^. z, _1 B,



Children can also become modest and get further development by making mistakes. Imagining(Imagine) what will happen if a child has never made mistakes. A smooth way of growing may lead to the arrogance of a child. They may think that they won’t(写作中最好不出现缩写哦) make any mistakes in the rest of their life, ignoring others(others’)criticism, being overconfident which may result in severe mistake that cannot be reversed, what’s worse may ruin their future(句子成分残缺?). On the contrary, Children who can learn from the mistakes they have made may modestly take consideration from everyone’s criticism and advice, and get further development after realizing their deficiency. , c, U2 @+ t: I0 q2 b

Admittedly, there may be some potential danger(dangers) when children make mistakes. It may take a second for children to get injured, an hour to forget the recover, a month to forget the pain, but take a life time to forget the scar. In fact, parents should ensure the things that children doing now are safe and decrease the likelihood for children to get injured, like put knife in the place where children cannot easily get, get(用-ing形式?) kids away from the boiling water. % n% ]$ z& ?; M" n


Taking into account all these factors we have discussed above, I strongly believe children can get further development and become mature in the process of making mistakes and learn(learning) from them1 x) @# Y, T7 |) n

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发表于 2012-3-1 20:32:12 |只看该作者
3 1机经作文110311NA do you agree or disagree with the following statement although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people’s lives have already taken place.

As the significant development has taken place in science technology, a large amount of hi-tech tools is unceasingly pouring into our daily life at an unprecedented speed. Thus, many people claim that the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place. The mobile phones and computers change people's life in the dramatic way. which make people's communicating readily, and people no longer write letters which may take a long period of time on conveying But others argue that there are still lots problem, profoundly affecting people's life, haven't been solved and even get worse, and these problem may decrease the quality of people's life. I endorse the latter issue, the reasons are as follows.

The environment problem, directly has the impact on people's living standard, haven't been solved. For instance, the global warming, referring to the rising average temperature of earth's atmosphere and oceans, started to increase in the late 19th century. Human activities, such as deforestation and burning fossil fuels, since the industrial revolution have increased the amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. Although a huge breakthrough has been made in the development of technology, and which help to invent many tools that enhance the people's living standard. Nonetheless, it is akin to advertisement in that its glorious appearance repeatedly covers the truth.  The cost of this kind of development is emit more green house gases and toxic gases to environment, which are harmful to people's health or even lead to death. Do people have a high-qualified life with these pollution? The answer must be no, we need more improvement to deal with such problem.

The health problem should also be taken into consideration. Although the technique has been rapid promoted, there are also many deadly disease that cannot be cured, for instance, AIDS, a disease of the human immune system, interferes with the immune system making people much more likely to get infections. Granted many treatments for AIDS has emerged and can slow the course of the disease, there is no known cure or HIV vaccine, which can solve the problem in fundamental way. People with AIDS suffer a long time and ultimately dead in torturous pain. New medical treatment needs to come up and find the cure of disease, so called incurable malady. Thus, people do not have to worry about the healthy problem, which to some extent; can improve the qualities of people's life basically.
       
There are so many problems, affect people's living standard dramatically, remain to be solved. Science and technology improved and improve the quality of people’s lives.
希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力,才是我们青春存在的意义。

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发表于 2012-3-2 16:56:51 |只看该作者
OK啦~~~改好了已经
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发表于 2012-3-2 17:50:51 |只看该作者
已改。。
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发表于 2012-3-3 02:53:07 |只看该作者
3 2机经作文 110304NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems affecting our society today could be solved within our lifetime.

With the development of science technology and the increasing population, people crazily pursue the profit but to some extent ignore the consequence they may lead to. The past decade has witnessed the deterioration of many significant problems that profoundly affect our society. Some individuals claim that these problems like environmental problem can be solved in our lifetime. But I insist the opposite, Problem like population and crime cannot be easily found the solution in our daily life. Instead if not taken seriously, the outcome it made may out beyond imagination
As it known to all that overpopulation is a significant problem that affect our society in a profound way, especially in China. Although China has carried on the one-child policy, the growth rate of population is a high place. Based on the condition that china has the largest population in the world, it is impossible to limit the grow rate of population in a short time, at the meantime, advanced medical apparatus and instruments have equipped in many hospital and the high quality of people’s life lead to the lower rate of death. Also the stereotype, more kids means more payback, cannot be change within our lifetime. Therefore, overpopulation cannot be solved within our lifetime.

Crime, result form the human’s greedy, plays a crucial part in affecting people’s security. Hovering a high level and disturbs our lives for a long time, crime occurred in a high rate. Although people’s living standard has greatly improved, people never gratified with their current life. For instance, a flourishing town offers lots of job to the resident, which means most of the citizen can make a living in the town. Nonetheless, some people show off their wealth which intrigues others jealous, thus lead to a large amount of crime like rob and steal. Because greedy, drawback of human being, will lead people to do illegal things to gain more money. As the people’s drawback won’t be change in a short time, the crime will never be eliminated.

Admittedly, environmental condition may be changed by the people diligently work. Some citizens suggest that we can use recycled water and renewable energy can to some degree assuage the problem. Reasonable as it seems to be, it is akin to advertisement in that its appearance cover the truth that there are few people would like to use the renewable energy which is a little bit more expensive than the unrenewable ones, most of people are not aware of the importance of environment protecting, thus although the idea, protecting the world in our daily life, has been widely spread, few of which could apply into practice. it is a tough task to attract most people’s attention, there is a long way to go.

Obviously, all the evidence conforms an undoubted conclusion that the problems affect our social like the mentioned above cannot be solved in our daily life.
希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力,才是我们青春存在的意义。

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发表于 2012-3-3 11:55:30 |只看该作者
改好了~~
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发表于 2012-3-3 16:13:02 |只看该作者
3.2 已改
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发表于 2012-3-4 02:47:00 |只看该作者
3月3日   110422 which kinds of university do you prefer universities whose graduates can find good jobs or universities where there are famous professors

With the increasingly social competition, people nowadays are holding more and more pressure than before. Meanwhile, the diploma of an university has play an significant role in recruit of many companies, which intrigues a large bulk of people to go to university for further education in order to surpass others in this high competitive society. Thus some people claim that we should choose universities which can help us to find good jobs. But I stand on the other grand that people should choose the universities with celebrated professors which can not only impart people profound knowledge but also pass on the some other ability. The reasons are as follow.

It is no doubt eminent professors can offer us more profound knowledge in a specific realm. A famous professor, mastering of cutting-edge scientific and technology, must have accomplished some research and published many influential academic dissertation, which help him to be recognized and famous in this particular field. Therefore a well-known professor who has experienced a lot can impart students with more advanced knowledge, and students can gain a more profound and comprehensive understanding about the things they learn which is of great importance when studying in an universities. Furthermore a university with eminent professors must have a good reputation whose students will have great name recognition among employees, which allow students to become more competitive when finding a job after graduated.

Other abilities, like how to deal with failure, that a famous professor can taught students can not be replaced. Take me for an instance, when i was a freshman, I, with a good fortune, had been chosen as a member of a research project, the lead professor of which was very famous. And then i followed him and started my research, because lacking of experience, i ignored some fatal factors that may lead to a wrong outcoming which resulted in my failure. I was so upset and even despairing and thinking about giving up. At that time my professor had a talk to me telling me his difficulty and failure before success, and the most important thing was the attitude towards the failure, just regarded these as stepping-stones on us way to success. I was so inspired then i continue my research and now I have got a little achievement. Professors' experience is a treasure for us to get nutrient which may play a crucial role when we are in society.

Admittedly, some universities pass on specific technical abilities which allow students to find a job efficiently. Nonetheless they pay more attention on technique and to some extent ignore the education of other fundamental courses. Therefore what students learnt in school is just a specific and rigid ability, which can only solve the problem that they have meet in the university, thus when new problem emerged, because lacking of systemic education, they do not know how to analyze and find a solution which may lead to the failure.

Taking into account when I have discussed above, I strongly believe that people should go to the universities with eminent professors.
希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力,才是我们青春存在的意义。

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发表于 2012-3-4 12:55:59 |只看该作者
3.3 已改
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发表于 2012-3-4 14:32:32 |只看该作者
以后等我能发word文档的时候就可以直接回复你啦~一起加油哇

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发表于 2012-3-5 13:04:51 |只看该作者
3月4日 1100430 do you agree or disagree with the following statement it is important to know about what is happening around the world, even if it doesn’t affect your personal lives.

With the advent of the information era, human beings are gradually submerged into the information ocean that a large amount of information is unceasingly pouring into our minds at an unprecedented speed. The information is ranging from current news to gossip of celebrities. Thus a heated debate arise that whether it is necessary or not to know what happened around even it doesn't affect people's daily life. Some people claim that people are already under considerable workload, there is no time for them to concern the news, Nonetheless, I endorse the opposite that from the current news people can learn a lot, and also no one can predict future. The reasons are as follows.

People can learn from things that happened abroad about method of solving problems or the attitude towards disaster. A magnitude undersea earthquake occurred in Japan at March 2011, the degree and extent of damage caused by the earthquake and resulting tsunami were enormous, the worst affected area shows little more than piles of rubble, with almost no parts of any structures left standing. Although such catastrophe had aroused lots of panic, Japanese were all waiting in line to the sanctuary, no rubbery, no riot, all we could see is an well-organized country. When facing the disaster, Japanese did not lose their civilization, but still maintained the country's image, which offer a great convenience for the rescue work. After knowing that, people may know what should we do when a disaster come, Clam and maintain the order which will help the government's search effort.

It also should be mentioned that no one is perfect predictor thus nobody can ensure the things seem to have no effects now will not impact our daily life in the future. When a computer first invented, no one would like to know it at that time because it is accepted to all that such a huge machine would not be used in our daily life, but now the computer has became a inevitable tools in people's work and study. When a breakthrough had taken place in the biology, the gene realm, most of people thought such a cutting-edge knowledge make no sense to their life, Nonetheless, since the genetically modified food has gained more and more popularity among people, people search the relevant literature to see whether it is good or not. Such the science and technology are developing at such a rapid speed, we cannot ignore the thing which seem to has little associate with us, instead we should pay attention to all the thing that happened around us.

Admittedly, people nowadays are under huge pressure and workload, they may busily engaged in their work, to some extent do not have time to read the news which they consider has less relative to them.  Nonetheless, it will be late when they see the necessity of concerning what happened around. a chairman of company may do not care about the world economy situation until his company are at risk of bankrupt because the economy crisis.

Take into consider what have discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is of great importance to know what happened around us, no matter it seems to be uncorrelated to our daily life, for that it is not a bad thing to learn and the unpredictability of future leads us to acknowledge all the occurrences.
一在写字板里写,就控制不住。。写了巨多= =。。。大家见谅。。。
希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力,才是我们青春存在的意义。

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发表于 2012-3-5 17:55:40 |只看该作者
许久不上论坛,突然发现一星期前楼主给我留的短消息。由于在“新手上路”组没法回投消息,我只好在您的帖子下面回复了。见谅!
您引用Wiki上的对M先生评价对我的批改提出质疑,现回应如下:
我不可能说国外在社会学和哲学领域的所有学者都持相同的观点。我的意思是M先生在国外,主流观点更为认可他的社会学成就(比如阶级分析的方法),而对哲学领域的成就肯定得比较少。这一点我向一个在哈佛本科、UCLA博士的历史学老师确认过。国外自然也会有他的拥趸在WIKI上不尽溢美之辞,然而我认为没必要将一个不被主流认可的人物拿来做例子,因为这样要冒碰到M的反感者作为批改老师的风险。
据我个人观点,面对一个语言考试,我们没必要举一些可能引起争议的例子。

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发表于 2012-3-5 22:26:56 |只看该作者
改好了~~
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发表于 2012-3-6 01:28:51 |只看该作者
3月5日  110708 the friend that can have fun with are more important than the friendsthat can get more help from?

A friend indeed is a friend in need, as we contact and build relationship with more and more people, We may consider that what a real friend is? Some people claim that friends is a kind of people who can change the opinion and share joy and success with us, thus people can enjoy time having fun with their friends. Others stand on the other ground that friends act as an adviser in one's life journey, offering support and recommendation for us, thus we can make proper decision and get improved. I endorse the latter issue, the reason are as follows.

People can get useful recommendation from friends. In our long life journey, people face countless choices, going abroad for further education or finding a job after graduate, which to some extent, determine one's life. People may find it is difficult to balance the advantage and disadvantage and make a decision that suits them. Just as the old saying goes those closely involved cannot see as clearly as those outside, friends who are not involved in the condition that we are facing to can analyze the problem objectively, and also more friends means more aspects about a problem which offer us a comprehensive cognition. Furthermore, a friend, getting alone with us for a long period of time, get to know us deeper than ourselves do, friends may know what suits us fine and help us to make correct decision.

Friends can offer us support when we are depressed. Take me for a instance, I, used to be self-abased, when i was admitted in the university because of accent. I could not express my thought fluently in mandarin, thus I was reluctant to talk to anyone fearing of being ridiculed. When my best friend Laura knows that I was in such dilemma, she called me and told me no one is perfect, what we should do is focus on our merit and how to correct the shortcomings rather than how bad we may be. After that she also called some of my classmates to take them initiative to greet and communicate with me, from which i gained the confidence again, and tried my best to practice mandarin. Now i can speak standard mandarin fluently with help of Laura, I am really appreciated what she had done for me. A support from friends just like a helping hand when we fell, which offering us coverage to stand back up on our feet and driving us to go farther.

Admittedly, friends can change the opinion about things or share the anecdotes happened around us and have fun. Nonetheless, when compared with the things we learnt from friends, these may things to be a trivial thing. Because the main melody of our life is growing and improving, exactly what we can get from the friends.

Take into account what I have discussed above, I strongly believe that friends who can offer help for me is of more importance.
哎哎。。这篇真心难写啊!!!写了很久不说,写出来感觉跟是高考作文。。或许更烂。。。美蓝童鞋。。又要辛苦你了~
希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力,才是我们青春存在的意义。

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RE: 【独立写作】sodapeng 托福写作 [修改]
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