【独立写作】sodapeng 托福写作

sillydsUID: 2985444

As the team spirit has gained more and more popularity among people, in many organizations, perhaps the best way to approach a certain new project is to assemble a group of people into a team. But the problem raises that whether people(it raises the problem about weather to) accept criticism in a team or not. Some people claim that only from accepting criticism can people get improvement, while others hold on opposite view, they argue that whether the criticism is worth to be accepted or not remains a question, sometime it may even lead to a wrong direction. I prefer to endorse the former point that people will not succeed in a team if they cannot accept criticism.

Accepting the criticism is a way for people to recognize their deficiency, and then supply the gap to get improvement(and then narrow the gap through improvement). Take me for an example. I, a freshman in university at that time, was very lucky to be chosen as a member of biology research project, and we always spent time together discussing the process and the drawback of the experiment. Because lacking of the(Because of the lack of) specialized knowledge and short-tempered character, I put up many immature or even totally wrong suggestion and made a lot of mistakes. Thus, I got a bulk of criticism but also many experience from the individuals in lab. Ultimately I tried best to search the documents and practiced more which lead me to get a great progress beyond my expectation(to compensate for that by finding more documents and doing more practices which enabled me to make  a great progress far beyond my expectation). Criticism helps people to correct the error and stimulates individuals to be more hard-working and finally lead to success(to work hard and eventually become successful).

Teams are more likely to make a breakthrough in a project if the team members absorbing criticism from each other. Different people hold different ideas, same in the team. It usually takes a long period of time for a team to reach the(an) agreement. Under this kind of circumstance(such circumstance), the leader may roughly draw a conclusion which sometimes is wrong but regardless others advice,(without careful consideration of others' advices.) finally the project fail and all the members are to blame. Nonetheless, if the(删除) all the members including the leader accept the criticism and then come up with feasible solution to a problem(for the problem), the team can get(make) great improvement.

Admittedly, there may be some criticisms that are harmful to you. For instance, some people may hasty(hastily) criticize others because of a tiny mistake in one’s achievement which also cost them a long time working, and to some extend, it may lead to the(and has to some extent contributed to their) self- contemptuous. Reasonable as it seems to be, people have the ability to distinguish the beneficial one to the harmful one. Like the China’s strategy to the exotic culture as china continuing its policy of opening, Take the essence and discard the scum. We should learn from the pertinent criticism and regardless of(disregard) the bad ones. Thus criticism will help to promote ourselves(can help us to improve ourselves).

If there anyone out there who still doubts that the criticism make no sense both to a person’s and a teams’ success, this essay is my answer.

文章总体不错，论证不够清晰，第三段有点跑题，
有些句子有问题，纯属个人意见

2.14  独立  https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1332678-2-1.html

sodapengUID: 3242849

2月16日 101218NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Two persons cannot be friends if one is richer than the other.

The past decade has witnessed the rapid development in economics, people have own much more wealth than before, however at the meanwhile, the unequal distribution of income has made a huge gap between the rich individuals and the poor one. Thus, some people may claim that the rich can not make friend with the poor, they say that people with different wealth share different values; they can not even communicate, not mentioned being friends. Nonetheless, noting is more evident for me than that the same interest play a more important role in a friendship. The reasons are as follows.

The first reason I would like to elaborate upon is that the interest is of great importance in developing a friendship. A recent poll, conducted on line, offered a world wide report about the factors that people value most in a friendship. More than 70 percent of respondents show that the personality and the interest in the thing they care most, and only 15 percent of people say that they lay more stress on the money. People need friends because we need a person to share our happiness and sadness. People can share their opinions and angles of the interest with friends, like-minded individuals, and strengthen their relationship and at the meantime have fun.

Since they have same interest, they may even share the similar pattern of thinking, and to some extent, can help each other when the other is in dilemma. Take me for an example, when I was working in a company, which was first job after graduated from the university, I got along with my boss who with no doubt that earned much than I did. And I learnt a lot from her. Whenever I confronted any problem, she never posed up with a porker face like other managers do; instead she always squeezed some time and lent me a hand. She taught me how to deal with the emergency and how to make contact with others which benefit me a lot. Although I resigned two years ago, we still get in touching now.

Admittedly, some people may argue that it is difficult for the rich to communicate with the poor, as it is known to all that friendship is based on mutual understandings and recognitions, they live in different environment and undoubtedly have different ideology, how can they make friends? Reasonable as it seems to be, people can not be rich overnight, they might work late or even overnight to accomplish the task when they were poor, they can understand indeed how tough it is when on the way to success. Therefore, the rich understand the poor’ situation and also give some feasible advice.

True friendship doesn’t build on any single material foundation and it can’t be measured or determined only by money, thus I strongly believe that the poor and the rich can also develop in good friendship.

idealibtUID: 2667256

小群群UID: 3091805

改好了 我还没写~写好了我来你这留言~~

sodapengUID: 3242849

2月18日 100821NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? We should never be impolite to another person.  

As china continuing its policy of opening, not only the economics but also the culture are challenged, including the Chinese traditional morality. Some people hold the idea that polite, a Chinese traditional virtue, is out of trend, and sometimes people should be rude to somebody to protect their own interests. Nonetheless, for me, nothing is more evident than that polite is a essential part of relationship and help you to enhance the competitiveness. The reasons are as follows.

The first reason I would like to elaborate upon is that polite is fundamental in a relationship and also promoting the understanding among people. For instance, it is very common that people get pushed or shoved on a bus which contains full of people on the commuting time. An impolite word may cause the conflict or even worse. But a polite apology would make things different. People would understand each other because of being treated politely. Polite plays such an important role in promoting the understanding. At the meantime, understanding paves a way to people’s mind, and thus help to develop the relationship among the people.

Mention should also be made to state that treating people politely can also enhance one’s competitiveness. A recent poll, conducted in the world top 500 companies, offered a world wide report that the factor that a manger concerned about employee’s personality traits. 70 percent of the responses say that polite, an essence of a person’s characteristic, is the thing that they care most. In this highly competitive society, people should not only master their specialized knowledge but also know how to treat people politely. Only from this way can help the individuals to increase their competitiveness and do a good in their position.

Admittedly, there may be someone treats people recklessly, and sometime even involves others’ interests. Some people may argue that under this circumstance, people shouldn’t be polite any more. However, in this way people may, unconsciously and gradually, become the impolite individuals. Confucius, a Chinese thinker and social philosopher, has exerted a significant influence on the thought and life of Chinese, whose philosophy emphasized on correctness of social relationships. He advocated people to return the good of the evil, which means we should be polite under any circumstance. From this way, we may change an impolite person to a polite one.

There is no excuse for us to be impolite. Polite is Chinese traditional virtue which we should inherit and develop.
这篇文章除了让步段自己看着不恶心。。其他段都恶心死了！！求各位狠拍！！

sodapengUID: 3242849

64# 小群群 额额。。。你粘的时候漏粘了两段哇。。。。肿么能木有结尾呢嘛~

figuechenUID: 2850619

65# sodapeng

已改好~

idealibtUID: 2667256

fyi

sodapengUID: 3242849

2月20日 110211NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

In the way of our life, people often encounter many kinds of difficulties and make various mistakes, just like the old saying goes: no man is perfect. Adults may treat these difficulties and mistakes as the precious experience in their life journey, but what about the children, whose mental is not mature enough to confront the difficulties and mistakes alone, they need assistance from parents. Nonetheless, in my point of view, parents should allow their children to make mistake and let them learn from it.

Making mistakes is a way for children to recognize their deficiency, and then children can narrow the gap through the improvement. Children may get a wrong answer of an academic problem because of misunderstanding of a relative theory; children may be rude to others because of not knowing how to respect others; children may regard dool as seed and want to plant more dools because of lacking of commonsense. Only from making mistakes, can children aware of their deficiency and correct the mistakes themselves and also, at the meantime, learn from these. Children may make out the theory deeply, be polite to everyone and water a flower everyday from all these mistakes they have made.

Children will also be modest and get further development by making mistakes. Imagining what will happen if a child has never made mistakes. A smooth way of growing may develop the arrogance of a child. They may think that they won’t make any mistakes in the rest of their life, ignoring others criticism, overconfident which may let them making severe mistake that cannot be reversed. More ominous still may ruin their future. On the contrary, children who can learn from the mistakes they have made may realize their deficiency, and modestly taking consideration from everyone’s criticism and advice, and get further development.

Admittedly, there may be some potential danger when children making mistakes. It may take a second for children to get injured, an hour to forget the pain, a month to recover, but take a life time to forget the scar. In fact, parents should make sure the things that children doing now are safe and decrease the likelihood for children to get injured, like put knife in the place where children cannot easily get, get kids away from the boiling water.

Taking into account all these factors we have discussed above, I strongly believe children can get further development and become mature in the process of making mistakes and learn from these.

sodapengUID: 3242849

The past decade has witnessed the remarkable develop in the technology. many electronic products, like computer and TV, has gain increasing popularity among people, so among the children. Because of the animated pictures are presented on the TV which to some extent, attract many children’s eyes. Nonetheless, many teen-agers spend too much time on time and then addicted to it, which may harm to their school work and even develop some bad personality traits. Therefore, I think parents should limit the time children spend on TV. The reasons are as follows.

Spending much time on TV will distract children from their school work, and finally children may fail to complete their studies. Everyone has a set amount of time, as children’s time for doing homework is parceled out to TV program, thus will certainly lead to the bad understanding of their courses. Furthermore, in the class, children’s concentration may remain on the programs or opera series they have watched the day before, the glorious picture was depicted by the painter and the end of every character, which may brimming over their mind and even cannot hear what the theory teacher talking about. Children will be left by other students and ultimately fail to get the required credit.

Some programs, including the violence and eroticism, showed on TV, may do harm to the children who are in adolescence. Some series depict many violent scenes; children are too young to distinguish the benefit from the harm. They may unconsciously imitate the bad things they have learned on the TV, which may trigger their hatred and violet motion. They may fight with others and cope with every problem in violent way. There is not new for us to hear the news that students fighting because of many TV shows in that way. Gradually this kind of violence may change to bad characteristic.

Admittedly, students need entertainment after a whole day studying, just as the old saying goes: all work no play makes Jack a doll boy. all working is of less efficiency. Only after having the entertainment can the children focus on their school work, and make more progress. However, there all depend on the time children spend on it. moderate time for relaxing is of great benefit. As the children lack of the self-control, parents should limit the time students spend on the TV to balance children’s studying time and entertaining time.

As tv programs has profoundly affect on children’s behavior in many aspect, I strongly believe that parents should limit the time children spend on TV.

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

2月20日 110211NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.
   In the way of our life, people often encounter many kinds of difficulties and make various mistakes, just like the old saying goes: no man is perfect. Adults may treat these difficulties and mistakes as the precious experience in their life journey, but what about the children, whose mental is not mature enough to confront the difficulties and mistakes alone, they need assistance from parents. Nonetheless, in my point of view, parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from it.开头有点奇怪，前面没有很好的铺垫就亮出了观点。
% y4 _) M2 o" |+ v% A. [% a9 G' O
    Making mistakes is a way for children to recognize their deficiency, and then children can narrow the gap through the improvement. Children may get a wrong answer of an academic problem because of misunderstanding of a relative theory; children may be rude to others because of not knowing how to respect others; children may regard tool as seed and want to plant more tools because of lacking of commonsense.（这句表示不是很懂，但是楼主的一连串的例子举得挺好） Only from making mistakes, can children be aware of their deficiency and correct the mistakes themselves and also, at the meantime, learn from these. Children may make out the theory deeply, be polite to everyone and water a flower everyday from all these mistakes they have made.! S3 u; k* f( i5 ~( Z$ V

     Children will also be modest and get further development by making mistakes. Imagining what will happen if a child has never made mistakes. A smooth way of growing may develop the arrogance of a child. They may think that they won’t make any mistakes in the rest of their life, ignoring others criticism, overconfident which may let them making severe mistake that cannot be reversed. More ominous still may ruin their future. On the contrary, children who can learn from the mistakes they have made may realize their deficiency, and modestly taking consideration from everyone’s criticism and advice, and get further development.
K! X' L7 J+ n  s
     Admittedly, there may be some potential danger when children making mistakes. It may take a second for children to get injured, an hour to forget the pain, a month to recover, but take a life time to forget the scar. （楼主这句写得很好耶！）In fact, parents should make sure the things that children doing now are safe and decrease the likelihood for children to get injured, like put knife in the place where children cannot easily get, get kids away from the boiling water.  
_# X) ]! L
    Taking into account all these factors we have discussed above, I strongly believe children can get further development and become mature in the process of making mistakes and learn from these.
楼主文章的例子举得很好，例证充分，唯一不足的是开头。

idealibtUID: 2667256

gtlddsUID: 3228712

The past decade has witnessed the remarkable develop in the technology. Many electronic products, like computer and TV,（我觉得只说电视就好了） has gain increasing popularity among people, so among the children. Because of the animated pictures are presented on the TV which to some extent, attract many children’s eyes. Nonetheless, many teen-agers(只见过teenagers，没见过这种说法)spend too much time on time（time改为TV） and then addicted to it, which may harm to their school work and even develop some bad personality traits（这个词我没有用过，喜欢）. Therefore, I think parents should limit the time children spend on TV. The reasons are as follows.
表明同意。

Spending much time on TV will distract children from their school work（distract。。。from，这个用的挺好的）, and finally children may fail to complete their studies. Everyone has a set amount of（中间加一个set是表示固定好的时间么） time, as children’s time for doing homework is parceled out to TV program, thus will certainly lead to the bad understanding of their courses. （中间as。。。是插入么，我不太懂，但是这句话看起来不太对）Furthermore, in the class, children’s concentration may remain on the programs or opera series they have watched the day before, the glorious picture was depicted by the painter and the end of every character, which may brimming over（很形象） their mind and even cannot hear what the theory teacher talking about. Children will be left by other students and ultimately fail to get the required credit.
分散精力，成绩下滑- v0 ^' B' s+ }9 \' e  |

Some programs, including the violence and eroticism, showed on TV, may do harm to the children who are in adolescence. Some series depict many violent scenes; children are too young to distinguish the benefit from the harm. They may unconsciously imitate（这个挺好的，我想说这个意思，但没想到合适的表达） the bad things they have learned on the TV, which may trigger their hatred and violet motion. They may fight with others and cope with every problem in violent way. There is not new for us to hear the news that students fighting because of many TV shows in that way. Gradually this kind of violence may change to bad characteristic.8 w, J* M; d# e) Y, K
节目不适合

Admittedly, students need entertainment after a whole day studying, just as the old saying goes: all work no play makes Jack a doll boy. all working is of less efficiency. Only after having the entertainment can the children focus on their school work, and make more progress. However, there all depend on the time children spend on it. moderate （大写）time for relaxing is of great benefit. As the children lack of the self-control, parents should limit the time students spend on the TV to balance children’s studying time and entertaining time.
可以直接写学生缺乏自控能力，家长应该限制时间，平衡学习和娱乐。

As tv（大写） programs has profoundly affect on children’s behavior in many aspect, I strongly believe that parents should limit the time children spend on TV.

很多词用的蛮好的，是我想不到的。
注意小细节吧，貌似句首大写有几处没注意到。
第二个观点与影响学习没关。这也是我写这个题目的困扰，到底需不需要联系学习。
很多值得我学习的地方！
水平有限，有什么改的不对的地方请见谅！

sodapengUID: 3242849

2月22日 101030NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Perhaps no issue in this world is as significance to students as education. Girls in old days merely have the chance to accept education because of sexism discrimination, and the poor has less likelihood to be educated because of lacking of the money. Nonetheless, with rapid development has taken place in the economics and the culture, people no longer hold the stereotype and many policies has been established to protect people’s right to obtain the education. Therefore, many people claim that people are now easier to become educated than before. I strongly support this idea, the reasons are as follows.

Hi-tech equipment has been used in the education, thus increase the education quality. Professor can show some vivid slides and movies by projector to left a deep impression in students mind. Take me for an example, when I took the geology class, my teacher played a part of movie about the earthquake for us. A magnitude earthquake devastated a city, reducing mighty edifices to dust, engulfing the city in flames, the streets flow with blood and echo with cries of the wounded, which really impressed me a lot. On the contrary, the class which only bases on the textbook, a piece of words, is difficult to leave students such a great impression. Thus hi-tech equipment enables people to get deep impression about the abstract theory and increase the quality of the class.

Many policies, established by government and school, allow more people to accept the education regardless the wealth people own. For instance the nine-year compulsory education policy which allows people to get the education for free for primary and junior high school. Also many scholarships, rewarded to students who do well in their course, can be used for students to get further development or to support the family. In addition more funds are given by the charity and wealthy people to construct school in rural areas where the education condition lagged considerably behind the urban area. Thus people have more chance to become educated.

Admittedly, with the boom of the population, more and more people want to pursue their dream by accepting the higher education. As it has reported that there are more than 9.33million students to attend the university entrance examination in 2011, but the number of the students that can be enrolled in university is limited. People may be more difficult to be educated than before when there are much less people. However, as china continues its open-up policy, many American universities enrolled more Chinese students, people have the chance to study abroad and get more advanced knowledge.

Taking account what have discussed above, I strongly believe that people are now easier to become educated than in the past.

第二段感觉有些跑题，求各位大牛帮我看一下肿么拉回去= =

gtlddsUID: 3228712

看到修改了，谢谢